I don't own Minecraft or 1000 Ways to Die. That's Notch and friends plus Mojang, and Spike TV.

So it's definitely been a while for an update for this story, eh? I decided to give it another shot, although I think these will be of a differing quality. Sorry for both the potential awfulness of this chapter, and the long wait.

Thanks to rachel4eav7 for the idea.

Jared sniffed the red rose in his hand. The sweet smell intoxicated him and he laughed. His pockets were filled with yellow and red flowers, and he couldn't have been happier. Suddenly he shivered, and looked up at the sky.

The moon looked back. He paled as he realized the day had been frolicked away.

He started to tremble, but attempted to focus on the sweet smell of the flower. He took out a couple more of differing colors to truly immerse himself in the scent. His eyes closed in euphoria.

They snapped open as rattling and moaning cut through the previously still air. Jared looked left and right without moving his head. He sighed before a strong shove sent him to the ground.

He flipped onto his back and screamed at what he saw. A human, like him, was above him. Or at least, it used to be human. Now, it seemed to be dead but alive.

The undead let a moan escape its cracked and bloodied lips before looking down at its prey. Jared's face lost all color, and he scrambled backwards into a hard yet thin frame. He stood quickly and turned his back to the slowly shambling form.

A skeleton leered at him. Its empty sockets seemed to try to absorb whatever little light was left both in its surroundings and his soul. He yelped and jumped up.

Jared took this opportunity to run away. He turned as he ran, and was shocked to see the bony figure hold a bow and aim it straight at him. He ducked reflexively, and not a moment too soon as the arrow whizzed above his head.

The terrified human ran forward, not caring what was in his path. He tripped over a black mass, and saw it to be a massive spider, eyes glowing an angry red.

He swore and started to crawl, just as his face met with a green body. He looked up to a black frown, before an explosion threw him off his feet and straight into the air.

He landed on grass with a dull thud. Pain erupted from the back of his head as he had landed on his back. The undead growled and climbed on his weak form. In a last ditch effort, he offered the rose to the zombie.

It bit down on his hand, before a black arm emitting purple smoke appeared above his head. It slammed down on his skull, and his vision faded to nothing.

The doctor stood next to the body, explaining to himself what occurred. "The explosion had caused fractures from the sheer force and proximity. Along with that, shrapnel had lodged itself in his chest and head, although the damage from that was minimal."

"The fall bruised his back and knocked his heart into arrhythmia. Although that would have eventually killed him, other mobs finished the job. The zombie had bitten down and started to eat him. Luckily, he was spared most of this agony by the Enderman, who knocked him out in a swift blow to the head."

"The blow caused a concussion and immediate unconsciousness. Along with that, the bites should have transmitted the undead disease."

At this, Jared's body bucked and a moan let itself out. The doctor took out a pistol, aimed between Jared's now milky eyes, and fired a single bullet.

I hope it wasn't too awful. This seems to me to be a rebirth of interest in this fanfiction for me, so expect new chapters "soon," considering soon is relative...