Disclaimer: Still nothing but the plot. That's the way I roll.

Ch. 25

I was halfway through the apple before either of us spoke. Draco went first.

Since our abrupt and quite awkward encounter a few minutes prior, we had decided to sit down. At first, I had been determined to find another spot, but when he insisted that I stay, I couldn't say no. As I munched on the apple, Draco stared at me, almost looking entranced. It was when I had finally managed to look up that he looked away, albeit only for a few moments. There was a trace of a shy smile as he tried to strike up a conversation with me.

"So you've been skipping meals huh?"

I paused for a moment, bringing my loud crunches from the apple to a stop. I still couldn't manage to fully look him in the eyes, as I was still too embarrassed. I looked up once, and nodded.

Draco shook his head, the trace of the smile on his face becoming more prominent.

"Of course. You really don't handle embarrassment well, do you Granger? And you can talk to me by the way. I don't bite."

I wondered if he even remembered what had happened what last night. He had been drunk just like me, and I had been able to taste the alcohol clearly on his lips and tongue. Also, when he had been kissing me, he hadn't been as collected as all of the other times, he had, in fact, seemed rather frenzied and desperate. I had also realized that he had reverted to calling me something that I hadn't heard fall from his lips in the longest time.

Granger.

There was some loss I felt at this. It was as if all of that time we had spent together had never mattered, or that the small yet there amount of trust that we had managed to build in each other had been a lie.

I swallowed before answering him, and for him to know I was serious; I had to look at his face.

"Well of course I don't. I don't know if you remember or witnessed any of the things that I'd done last night, but they're definitely not things I can be proud of. You don't even know the whole story so stop acting like it's not a serious problem." I argued defensively, trying my best not to glare at him.

I hadn't meant to sound harsh, but it came out that way.

Draco stared at me, unfazed by my statement. He seemed uncaring and half present, and I felt the returning urge to find another place to sit.

"Ah, she speaks. And for your information, I do remember, quite a lot actually. But just because you're not proud of something doesn't mean you have to wallow in it. You should really learn to cut off all of your feelings." He replied, toying with the feathers of a quill lying on the table. With the way he leaned into his chair, one leg crossed across his knee, he looked like some sort of counselor. I couldn't tell if I was getting upset or not, but something about this situation was definitely starting to irk me.

"You obviously wouldn't understand. You're the king of being able to tune out feelings", I heard myself retort, my voice thick with some kind of resentment, not for him, but because of his ability to be so unfeeling sometimes. He laughed quietly, and it was his turn to look away from me.

"I don't blame you for thinking that", Draco said in response, his voice quieter than before. "After all, everyone does. And although at times I'm not the most compassionate, I do have feelings that I wish I could get rid of." His eyes drifted back to me when he said this, his pools of misty blue-grey peering into my warm brown ones. "I feel guilt. You think you're the only one who fucked up last night? I told Pansy I didn't love her, never did, and a few hours later, I took her to my room and slept with her."

His voice sounded sorrowful and disturbed, and I could do nothing but keep quiet and stare at him, regretting everything that I had just said to him. I felt so inconsiderate.

He looked away, out into the window close to him. "I don't know why I'm telling you any of this, because after all, you seem to think you're the only capable of feelings." He added coldly.

I stared at him, and realized something. He wasn't just a rich, somewhat misunderstood boy. He had always been denied the right to a normal childhood, and it had taken its toll on him. He had been raised differently, and although it was the way his family was, he was trying his best to fight it, with no one on his side. As cheesy as it sounded, it was true. Maybe if he hadn't decided to confide in me, just a little bit, I wouldn't have realized it.

"Draco?" I heard myself say quietly. I was only half clinging to my words, for my brain was zooming with too many thoughts at once to focus. His head shot in my direction, and that unfathomable look in his eyes had returned. I could see him fighting to get rid of it, but he couldn't. It made me feel a little better that he couldn't really hide himself from me.

What was going on?

"I'm really sorry. I was just being stupid and inconsiderate as usual." I said finally, after a very long time of silence.

He looked at me again, his eyes burning in defiance. "Don't apologize. And you couldn't be stupid or inconsiderate if you tried."

At that statement, I found myself smiling slightly, which lessened the intensity of his gaze. After a moment, all became well again. I found myself having an easier time talking to him.

"Thanks."

He nodded once, and then turned back to the window for a moment.

"What happened last night?" He asked me, and it took me by surprise. For one, I didn't know if he meant between us, or about me, and I paused for a moment, conjuring an answer. Since he had told me his story, it wouldn't be fair to not tell him mine.

And if he was lying?

Well, so what?

"It's a pretty long story", I admitted, looking down at the now browning half of an apple resting between my fingers. I dropped it onto the table, and it stayed there, looking pitiful and weak.

But that was life wasn't it?

One half of life, like the apple, was brown, wilting, pitiful, and sad. It was the part of life in which unfortunate things happened, and where people were unhappy. The other half of life, full and bright like the other side of the apple, contrasted to the sad brown and represented happiness, everything right in world. While there was a large portion of that, it seemed that unlike the brown, the bright side never lasted too long, gone too soon. It showed the bright and often fast side of life, the part people often took for granted.

And looking at Draco, I saw a half bitten apple.

"I've been told I'm a pretty good listener", He replied, quirkily and curiously raising a brow at me.

And so I told him everything. I told him about the date with Dean, and the dancing, and the argue with Ron. He never interrupted once, not even when I had told him how I had kissed Dean while dancing provocatively and drunk on a table, or how I had slapped Ron. His facial expression remained collected the whole time, and only once his eyebrows rose questionably at me. When I was done, exhausted and exposed, with everything laid out on the table, he sighed.

"Pretty eventful night for you, that was." Draco stated, reaching up to massage the back of his neck. I supposed the story was a lot to handle all in one go.

"Yeah, and now you know everything." I sighed, looking up at him, feeling embarrassed. He knew a lot of the things that I was insecure of now, and I didn't even know why I told him. "I suppose you think I'm a proper slag now, right?" I asked, laughing. He was starting to make me nervous with all of the silence.

"No, I've seen worse, trust me." Draco replied, smirking at me. When I didn't react, he went serious again, and not too soon after, decided to speak again.

"I'm sorry Hermione." He said quietly, keeping his eyes on me. He sounded as genuine as I had ever heard him, and it was a drastic change from the sarcastic Draco that I knew too well. Still, he caught me by surprise for the second time. When I didn't answer after a few moments, he stood up, looking as if he was about to leave, and I spoke to delay him.

"What? Why are you saying that? You did nothing wrong", I replied earnestly, yet still confused. The only thing I understood was that he seemed ready to call me Hermione again, which I thought I had lost. What did he have to apologize about at this moment? I had just told him a whole story about what had happened to me last night, surely he couldn't be apologizing for my getting drunk, or fighting with Ron. He hated him.

"I kissed you against your will! Surely you didn't think I wouldn't apologize for it? I've been trying to figure out what to say this whole time. I am sorry." Draco said to me, his voice going back to a sorrowful tone.

I stared at him, in absolute shock, my stomach absolutely rolling in the fact that he was apologizing for something I thought he had forgotten. Draco looked down at me, chewing the inside of his bottom lip tentatively. He laughed a sad, self pitying sound.

"God. I'm guessing I really shouldn't have said that –"

But before he could complete his sentence, I was up from my chair, my arms flung around his neck. Draco stiffened and my grip slacked, but my body still hung tightly against his. For a moment, it seemed as if we were in the abandoned boy's lavatory again, just as we had been about two months ago. His body slacked as my grip did, and I could feel him breathing against my neck.

"Why are you doing this?" He murmured, talking into my hair.

At the sound of his voice, at the fact that he sounded so content and curious and innocent for once, a got a weird feeling inside of my nose, and my eyes misted over. Hugging him and having this strange connection to him was new, unidentifiable. I was swimming in uncharted waters, and I was falling, drowning in him, the idea of him. I was trying to cling to reality, trying so hard that it hurt to think about, but it was futile as I fell in his arms. Something inside of me wanted to push him away then grab him again, cause him pain and make him apologize to me for doing this, although it was something that he had no control of. Another part of me wanted to…

Well the other part of me didn't really know what she wanted, did she? If she did, I wouldn't have been standing in the back of a stranded library as I was, close to tears against the shoulder of Draco Malfoy. Only his fingertips were touching me, and the rest of him touching me was involuntary because of how my body was pressed against his.

"Because you remembered", I whispered back, holding on to the idea of Draco, and the idea that he cared enough about me to remember a drunken, sloppy, mistake of a kiss.

I didn't want to kiss him again. I didn't know what I wanted from him, but it didn't have anything to do with lust.

"Of course I did", Draco chuckled quietly, his voice still sad and struggled. "I remember everything."

I wanted, needed someone who cared.

And Draco seemed to be the idea of one.

VVVVV

Hey guys! I hope you guys are enjoying of the progress of the story! Since it is Thanksgiving weekend, I am going to be going on a holiday for a few days, and unfortunately, I won't be able to update until I get back! But not to worry, I will be writing during my holiday so that when I get back I'll have new chapter(s) to update! Feel free to leave me a review, idea, or constructive criticism, they are most welcomed! Have a happy and wonderful Thanksgiving! Don't forget to be thankful for Draco and Hermione XD! Love to all!