Note: Frostiron is starting up.
WARNING: some language/ violence.
Disclaimer: I do not in anyway own these characters. All rights belong to Marvel etc.
NOTE: The words in Italics that are not contained in "" [and that stand alone, not in a sentence] are the characters thoughts and not intended for others to overhear. [ although it does sometimes happen.]
The words in "Italics" are a conversation intended to be heard between the 'mind link'.
Chpt 8
(When he's good, he's very very good)
Loki sputtered, ungracefully sending bits of pizza onto the counter. Tony nearly choked on a string of cheese and coughed a little longer than necessary. Thor had a look of triumph at their responses to his question, clearly satisfied with their spit-takes as an answer.
Tony found himself glaring at the blond god before bluntly saying, "Yes, if that's what this is called, then yes we do."
Tony glanced over at Loki and his heart stopped. The pale god's cheeks were flushed a bright red, his eyes glancing away from both of them.
That is by far, the cutest thing I have ever seen.
I feel no shame in thinking that.
Thor chuckled affectionately and pat his brother's shoulder. There was obviously more to this "Mind Link" than Loki let on. Tony's eyebrows drew together, trying to remember if either of the gods had mentioned anything about it.
Thor finished his laughter, smiling warmly at his younger brother.
"Oh Loki, my dear brother," he said fondly. "I know you are probably displeased by what this means. Fear not! For I have found love with a mort-"
Thor's words were cut off with a swift kick to the head from a spindly leg of Loki. Thor fell to the floor and his mouth opened in surprise. He stared up at his brother for a few moments before starting to laugh harder.
Loki snarled and glanced over at Tony, daring him to laugh. His cheeks were still flushed but his eyes were a dangerous, deep, green. Tony put his hands up in surrender, saying, "Hey, leave me out of it. I have no fucking clue what's going on anyway. Clearly this is a god thing."
Thor spoke between shuttering gasps of laughter, "Tony! To be able to speak to my brother so easily with a Mind Link holds incredible meaning. In Asgard, it is taken as a sign of true love, your fated one!"
Thor beamed up at the two of them as Loki's eyes narrowed into slits of hatred. His voice shrouded with ice, Loki responded, "That's all very well and fine for atrue Asgardian. We all know I am not one, so this foolish belief does not even remotely apply. Monsters have no love, much less a fated one. "
Toy felt like he had been kicked in the chest at the god's words. His hand flew up to the arch reactor in his chest, attempting to find the solution to this sudden pain. Loki's attention was drawn to Stark by the sudden movement. The mortal looked pale, his face showing pain and confusion.
Concerned, Loki reached out and touched his arm gently. "Anthony, are you hurt?"
Tony glanced at him, his eyes flicking between the two green ones in front if him. All the signs of self-hatred and disgust were gone, replaced with concern. Tony felt the ache ease, his hand still covering the glow from his chest.
Plucking up some courage, he set his jaw and responded, "Lokes, you're not a monster. Saying you're a monster because you are of a different race is like saying an apple is one, because it's not a banana. If you say that, then all of us are monsters."
Tony felt like he was rambling, trying to keep his tone light. "I mean, hell, I've probably killed more people in my short little life time than you have in your decades. If anyone's a monster, a freak, it would be me."
He smiled bitterly and tapped the metal piece in his chest to prove his point.
Loki's eyes widened, his eyebrows knit together in wave of confusing grief. He felt ill hearing the mortal speak of himself this way. He frowned deeply.
"You do not understand, Anthony. I have grown up on the stories of monsters. I was taught to fear the very being that I am. I find myself the monster I feared as a child..." he faltered.
"Since when do you do what you're told, Loki?" Tony asked. "Don't believe something because someone told it to you. Isn't this the very basis of your existence? To be a stubborn, slightly bag-of-cats crazy..."
Loki gave him a warning look. Tony ignored it, continuing, "...but graceful, and unique God of Lies?"
Loki felt something inside him crumble and fall. It was as though his entire existence had been proven to be a lie.
Was I ever doing what I wanted...
Or did I always follow behind others.
He remembers always believing the stories Thor told him, until the day he heard him speak to his friends about Loki's "adorable" ignorance. It had become a game for Thor and his friends after that. Fool the God of Lies, because he's just a gullible child.
Loki's face grew dark at the memories of humiliation.
I played along, did I not. I pretended I believed them even though I knew of their game.
I did what they wanted to me to do from the very start.
Have I ever been allowed...no
Have I ever simply done what I wanted?
The painful betrayals lay deeply imbedded in him, quietly rotting like the soft flesh of a fruit. He knows not which suffering or betrayals he suffers more for. His own self-inflicted pain, his own lies... or those of the ones around him.
His face softened and he turned, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room, leaving the other two to stare after him in confusion. His thoughts continued on as he fidgeted with the sleeves of his tunic.
Anthony had said he, Loki, was not a monster.
His argument was indeed a valid point, we are all monsters.
Although, my monster is not just the blue skin...
Entering the living room, he glanced around at the scatter of drywall and concrete. He flicked a finger here and there, sending pieces of ceiling back into their places.
His thoughts dragged on.
The mortal has said he was a monster, that he had killed more people than a god.
Loki frowned, again feeling a fluttering pinch in his chest. The expression on Tony's face haunted the god as he finished fixing the ceiling.
Anthony was not a monster.
He had taken what mistakes he made and turned it into heroism.
The metal in his chest was not a sign of weakness. It was desperation to live in the hands of a genius.
Loki bit his lip and quickly turned to head back into the kitchen. Tony and Thor were still standing where he left them. Both look up as he strode in, walking directly over to Stark. He frowned, not wanting Thor to hear what he needed to say. He opted for privacy and thought to the mortal,
"You are in no way a freak or a monster, Anthony. You took your mistakes and created something inherently good. It was something you always had in you and..."
He paused and reached out, touching the reactor gently.
"This is not a symptom of hatred, the thing that makes a true monster. This is life, Anthony. This is you, strong, determined, and never-ending."
Loki chuckled and looked into his brown eyes. Speaking out loud,he said, "You never cease chattering, that is for sure."
Tony eyes had filled with wonder as the god spoke. He had never heard anyone speak this way about him or his inventions before, much less the usually snippy god. He didn't know what to do with himself or with the hand touching the reactor in his chest.
The smooth Tony Stark, always so good at accepting compliments, was at a lost for words.
His thoughts caught up with what Loki had spoken out loud. He made a face and leaned into Loki, he mouth inches away from the god's ear.
Smirking, he whispered, "Oh, I'm sure I can find words that you would find... enjoyable. "
Loki huffed with laughter, his breath tickling Stark's neck before he stepped back. Tony saw a look of raw desire pass through the God's eyes before amusement settled in.
Tony paused and frowns, gathering his thoughts. His voice shaking a little, he said, "I'm usually not one for long heart-felt speeches. I don't do thefeelings thing very often."
He grimaced and glanced away to look at the counter. When he spoke again, it was softer and lacking his usual flippant tone.
"Do you know what it is that draws others to you? It's not the false confidence you project. It's not just the lovely green eyes that fill with emotion behind an immovable mask. It's the true and honest confidence, childlike in nature, that brings them to you. The honesty that lies behind every bitter word and the raw emotions that play behind your smile. People seek to understand you on a level that you pretend doesn't exist. You are not a singular relic, you are a treasure chest to be explored."
Tony took a deep breath and saw Thor openly staring at him with tears in his eyes. Stark felt a blush crawl up his neck and into his face.
Okay, that had been way too deep.
I need more alcohol before I break into poetry.
I refuse to look at Loki.
What did I say about his eyes?
There was a soft choking sound and Tony gave in to curiosity, turning to face the taller god.
Loki looked embarrassed and confused, his usually pale cheeks a nice shade of red again. The god had clearly stopped breathing, or moving, or doing anything for that matter. He was staring at Tony's forehead like the answers of the universe might pop out from it.
Tony shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the movement drawing Loki out of his trance. Tony watched the green eyes fill with an emotion he had only ever seen in Pepper's eyes before. His hand reached up to touch the god's cheek before he knows what he's doing. A spark of fear flickers through the green eyes and Loki turned away, blushing deeper.
With a quiet metallic sound, the god was suddenly gone, Tony's hand still in the air where his cheek had just been.
Nether Thor nor Tony freaked out at Loki's disappearance. Tony shuffled off, embarrassed, muttering something about checking for Gonzo.
Thor stayed, looking at the remnants of the breakfast they had just shared and wondering (again) who Gonzo was. He sniffed, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep the tears from flowing freely.
All his fears of a temporary bond had been dispelled in a moment. His initial shock stemmed from when Tony bluntly told his brother he was lying to himself. No one got away with that without bodily harm.
What came as a greater shock was his brother returning and speaking to Stark.
Ha badly wished he could have heard what he said, but the look on Stark's face had been enough. Loki cared for the mortal, more deeply and honestly than Thor had thought possible. Thor sighed and rested his head on the counter, recalling Tony's words before his brother disappeared.
Childlike honesty.
Thor's smile was bitter, remembering how he had abused his little brother's trust again and again. Until it was too late, until he no longer saw any trust in his eyes.
Thor suddenly felt a grave need to be near Jane. He knew he didn't deserve comfort right now, considering what his brother had been through. His thoughts continued to rumble in turmoil before Jarvis interrupted them.
"Mr. Odinson, Director Fury is at the door."
Thor snapped his head up so fast his neck snapped. He rushed out of the kitchen to find Stark.
Tony had given up looking for Loki about 2.4 seconds after leaving the kitchen. He stumbled into his bedroom weakly and started stripping off his grimy clothes.
Jarvis' voice startled Tony a little. "Sir, Loki is hiding in the training room down stairs," Jarvis said. "I thought you should know."
Tony simply nodded, kicking off his torn jeans. He wondered vaguely if he should burn his clothes; burn away the fear and grime.
As he started for the bathroom Jarvis spoke up again, sounding apologetic.
"I'm afraid Director Fury is at the door, sir."
Tony groaned and looked longingly at his shower before slouching back into his bedroom to find clothes.
He had just managed to pull on some jeans when Thor came bursting in, talking in his usual loud voice, "TONY! Director Fury has arrived and we know not where Loki has disappeared to."
Tony stared at the god, his thoughts clicking into place by order of importance.
I barely have any clothes on, but I guess he doesn't care.
Loki is hiding and probably doesn't want to be found.
Plus, I don't think I can look at him right now.
What is wrong with me? Pepper got married and I'm already flirting with some guy?
Oh yeah.
Fury.
Tony rolled his eyes and pulled on a gray t-shirt. "Thor, I will go get the sulky Muppet. I know where he is. You go let Fury in and try to..." His voice became muffled through the shirt, continuing, "...tame him as best you can. Okay?"
Loki was sitting in the darkest corner of some large training room for fight simulation. It wasn't exactly an ideal hiding place, considering his distaste for dark, quiet places had grown since his trip through the void.
He heaved a slow sigh and rested his chin on his knees, staring into the dim room. He felt ashamed at his reaction to Stark's words. It had truly shocked him to the core, to hear that not only was his life a big lie, but a mere mortal could see through his mask.
Apparently there are others who are "drawn to me" because they can see my emotions?
What utter swill.
Loki sneered at the darkness, flicking a few green flames into the air in frustration. He felt disgusted at the idea of others seeing through his calm outer shell. His sneer fell into a thoughtful frown.
Why only others?
He already knew Thor could see through most of it, because he let him. He surprised himself with how honest he had been with Thor, given how his "brother" had hurt him so often with lies of his own.
Why was Anthony allowed to see him bare and raw?
He let out a frustrated huff and curled his fingers. His magic pulled metal from the walls, creating little perfect balls of iron. He shot them into the wall, leaving deep holes all the way through the concrete.
A voice suddenly intruded on his silence, saying, "Don't break my house any more. You're acting like your brother."
Loki calmly turned toward the voice from the far side of the room. He could see the blue glow of Stark's metal heart light up his face ever so slightly.
He felt a moment of happiness before he scoffed, "I am in no way like that oaf. Besides," he smirked—and with a flick of his wrist, the wall was whole again. "I can fix it again."
Loki heard a soft chuckle as the glowing orb came closer. The blue light fell on the god's body and gave the illusion that his magic had failed, showing his original form. He looked down at his arms, frowning and turning them over in the dull light.
Tony sat down next to the god, watching the god's eyes change color in the blue light. They were now more of an ocean gray, like a turbulent sea. He smiled as he realized he thought way too much about the god's eyes.
Loki turned to the man sitting besides him, seeing the reflection of light off his staring eyes. He felt the same rush of embarrassment from before flood to his cheeks.
He tucked his chin in against his knees again and spoke quietly, "I do not wish for company right now, Stark."
Loki flinched as Tony reached out and gently flicked the god's nose. He snarled and turned to glare at the mortal, reaching up and covering his nose.
Tony scoffed with disappointment.
"What happened to calling me 'Anthony'? Do you hate me enough again to revert back to 'Stark'? "
He had asked it jokingly, but the god suddenly leaned close to him, his tone urgent.
"I do not hate you! I... It is simply a habit. I was raised to speak to one using their last name."
Tony did his absolute best to look at the god's eyes, not his lips. He felt his eyes wandering down the face that was so close to his. He swallowed nervously.
Alright, all this sexual tension is getting ridiculous.
He cleared his throat. "Look," he said. "I know you want to sulk in your dark Bat Cave, but Fury is here for us again."
He smiled weakly, starting to stand up. Loki also moved to stand and ended up smashing his nose into Stark's cheek. They both swore and paused, looking at one another in the dim light.
They let out an exhausted breath of air before they both snorted. In unison they thought,
"This is ridiculous."
Tony grinned widely at the god and, much to his surprise, Loki grinned back. His smile looked as though it broke his face in half as it was wide and toothy. It was so pleasant without the venom that usually formed it. Tony caught himself leaning closer to the god, his nose almost brushing his. He stopped for a moment, lingering before his eyes met Loki's.
Jarvis' voice interrupted with a hint of disapproval. "Sir, Thor has run out of ways to attempt to entertain Director Fury. I'm afraid the need for your presence is dire."
Tony went still, his eyes still on Loki's, before he let out another small huff of laughter. "He tried to... entertain him?"
Loki saw the hungry look leave Stark's eyes and drift into amusement. He felt his smile drop a little at the prospect of speaking to the Director again. Tony suddenly offered his arm and bowed his head.
"Shall we go bless our most charitable company with our presence?"
Loki snorted and pushed past him, striding purposely at a speed where the man with shorter legs could not keep up.
When the two of them walk into the room, the first thing they noticed was the lack of SHEILD agents. The second thing they noticed was that Steve and Bruce were sitting on the couch near Fury.
Tony automatically stepped in front of Loki, catching the Avengers' eyes with a searching look.
Fury rolled his eyes. "They have been debriefed, Stark," he said. "You can stop acting like an over-protective boyfriend. Sit the fuck down, we need to talk."
Both Tony and Loki shared a sneer that could melt the flesh off bone. Loki sat in the lone arm-chair, suddenly aware that the whole gang actually was there, as Natasha and Clint had been lurking in the far corner. He spared a glance at his brother, pondering a moment what sort of amusement he had sattempted. Based on the look on his face, Fury had chewed him out.
His eyes drifted over the two spies, giving each a nod in greeting. Surprisingly, they both nodded back before glancing at Tony as he sat on the arm of Loki's chair. Loki felt heat coming from Tony's body which, also surprisingly, made him relax considerably.
His gaze went to the doctor, who looked a bit green around the edges of his face. Loki could smell his fear, whether it was a fear of himself or of Loki, he did not know. He offered a small smile to the man, hoping to seem less of a threat.
Banner's eyes slid off him and went to Stark, with a look of relief and pure joy at seeing his old friend again.
Loki supposed that out of all of them, the two scientists would be closest. He paused a moment to focus on the Captain, feeling the hatred radiating off of him from across the room. He didn't bother with any form of acknowledgment, which seemed to piss the man off more. He finally settled on Director Fury, who wore his usual leathers coupled with his usual sour look.
The Director looked the god in the eye. "I want you to come into SHEILD and cooperate with us," he said bluntly.
Both Tony and Thor opened their mouths to speak before Loki sent a quiet "Shut up" to each of them. He smiled slowly and leaned his head on his hand. His voice sounding bored, he said, "Why, exactly, is that necessary? I thought we already went through everything. I even gave you a little present... was that not sufficient enough to slake your thirst for power, Mr. Fury?"
The Director's eyes narrowed before he smirked. "That's the thing, Loki," he responded. "We don't know how many other powerful weapons you have stashed away on your person. We also don't want you running around Earth with magic." His smile widened. "We got two options here, kids. One, Loki comes in to SHEILD and stays there permanently. Option two is Loki comes in and lets us test our new shiny machine on him. You know, the one that sucks the magic out of Twinkle Toes here."
The silence after was nearly palpable. Tony felt like he was going to be sick. Neither option was what they agreed on last night. How many caskets did Fury think Loki could fit in his back pocket? Loki sent a small thought to Stark.
"Anthony, do not say anything yet."
Tony glanced at the god sitting next to him, and nodded.
Directory Fury watched the two of them carefully, noticing for the second time the strangeness of their behavior. They had done it before, when they first showed up again, he remembered. Secret smiles, half heard conversations, as though they were conversing silently. He frowned and continued to watch, waiting for an answer.
At last Loki spoke up, his voice low and venomous, drawing out the first words slowly. "Director... Fury. How did it feel when you lost your eye?"
Loki smirked and tilted his head to one side.
Fury visibly stiffened. Sitting up straighter he snarled, "I don't see how that's any of your fucking business, Loki."
"It IS my fucking business because what you intend to do to me by removing my magic will hurt a thousand times more than that. It will leave me a thousand times more blind than you are now."
Everyone in the room had flinched when Loki swore , looking anywhere but at the god. They knew he had been controlled, just like Clint, but somehow they were having a problem feeling bad about Loki going through pain. Tony, on the other hand was livid. He bit the inside of his lip hard enough to draw blood.
This was fucking BULLSHIT.
Fury damn well knows we can handle Loki. We did it before.
Loki GAVE him an amazing powerful object as a promise,
and yet here he was, telling them it wasn't enough.
Tony stood up abruptly, startling everyone. Loki looked up at him in surprise and saw his anger boiling over.
He jumped up and touched the short man's shoulder. Tony glared at the god before twisting away and stalking out of the room. Loki looked confused for a moment before an expression of understanding settled on his face.
He turned to the group and sighed. "Look, you will not trust me, no matter what I say," Loki said. "I would like the opportunity to show you through actions ,rather than words, that I am capable of helping others. Yes, I have always had this snide personality, and that shan't change. But none of you actually know me, the real me. The Loki you met in New York was so little of my true nature, it was humiliating. I know I took my anger out on humans before, in my attack on Thor..."
Loki frowned, gesturing with his arms in frustration. "I can't apologize for that enough. I was, as Stark put it, 'Throwing a Tantrum.'"
That got a laugh out of Clint and Bruce, while Natasha simply smirked. Loki sighed heavily and brushed a hand through his hair. He suddenly remembered that he never checked his hair after the fire. His eyes grew wide for a moment, distracted by his own thoughts. Everyone in the room stared at him, confused by his sudden fearful look. Shaking his head a little, he glanced back at them, realizing he had stopped in the middle of speaking.
Well, that probably didn't make a good impression of sanity.
It seemed to have made some sort of impression though, as Bruce frowned and leaned forward to speak. "Loki, I of all people know what it's like to feel like two... people." He grimaced and went on, "I feel inclined to believe you, mostly because apparently you were alone with Tony on a planet for a few days, and you didn't kill him." He smiled at Loki and shrugged. "I probably would have."
Clint snorted and nodded, saying, "Idefinitely would have, especially after that shit with Budapest."
Loki found himself looking at Rogers, feeling a small stem of hope that the team could convince Fury to let him stay under their watch. The man was harder to read than before, his face heavily guarded.
When he noticed Loki looking at him expectantly, the Captain let out a sigh.
"Look," he said. "I know now that you were under control, but it's still hard to look at you without seeing the crazed maniac who led an entire army into New York City." Loki's frown deepened before Rogers looked up, smiling weakly.
"You got Clint and Agent Romanoff to trust you enough to leave you with your brother and Tony. After that, I feel as though I can't particularly argue anymore about this."
With this he looked directly at Fury. "Director Fury, considering the trust he has put in us and his 'peace offering', I feel we should allow him to remain under observation. Stark's home has one of the best security systems in the world, and this, plus having an Avenger or two around at all times, should suffice in keeping an eye on him."
Fury's face steamed with anger. He glared around the room and paused on Thor.
"What, you're not going to cast your vote? I though you of all would be the first to jump on the 'Let's save Loki train'."
Thor shrugged and smiled. "I trusted you already knew my feelings on the matter. I felt no need to speak up."
Fury growled and glared around the room again.
It was getting pretty hostile in here, Fury thought.
There was a shuffling sound as Tony entered the room again, wearing a single gauntlet on his right arm. All eyes went to him as he walked over and leaned against Loki's armchair again, crossing his arms. There was an expecting silence where he said absolutely nothing at all.
The threat had been clear enough without words.
The Director felt his blood pressure rise,
This little prick was threatening me?
Fury stood suddenly and snarled at Loki,
"For now, you may stay here under observation. I will have people in and out in a constant circulation. Thor, I want you to head back to Asgard and let them know the whole story. I don't want anymore fucking surprises."
He looked around the room once more before leaving, his long, black coat flapping behind him.
A collective sigh filled the room, causing everyone to glance around and laugh nervously.
Natasha stretched and moved towards the door to follow Fury. On her way out, she glanced back, saying, "I can't believe I'm saying this but, it's nice to officially meet you... Loki Odinson."
With that, both she and Clint left, the archer tipping an invisible hat to Tony. Doctor Banner stood up suddenly and rushed across the room. Tony let out a happy laugh and hugged the man tightly, patting his back.
Thor also joined them from behind the couch and smiled warmly at his brother.
"See, my brother," he said happily. "My friends have your back."
Loki let out a small grunt of laughter. "Most grudgingly, yet..." He turned and looked at Bruce and the Captain. "You have my thanks for this."
A strange expression passed over Rogers' face before he stood up and nodded.
"I need to get to know you better. I will need to readjust to you," said the soldier.
Tony smiled and tilted his head "Sounds like you should ask him out on a date, Stars and Stripes," he said.
Loki spun on his heel and snapped at him mentally,
"ANTHONY!"
Tony visibly flinched away before laughing. Rogers looked between the two of them and smiled wearily. "Nice to have your smart ass back, Stark. I'll see you around."
He nodded to Thor and Bruce before taking his leave. Bruce left a few moments later, leaving the three of them standing alone again in the living room. Tony looked down at his gauntlet and frowned.
I still need to blow something up, dammit. Maybe I can call Fury back.
Thor watched Tony as he powered up the gauntlet a little and let it die again. He was about to say something when suddenly Tony put his hand up and shot a blast through the window, shattering the large pane of glass instantly.
Both gods flinched before Loki rushed forward to see if Stark had been hit with any glass, yelling, "What Í helvíti Óðins was that about?! Anthony, you're bleeding..."
He touched the mortal's forearms gently, sending little sprigs of green across Tony's skin.
Tony frowned and looked vaguely apologetic. "Sorry. It just kept building up as he talked. You know what I need? A drink."
He beamed at the two gods and glanced at the window.
"Jarvis, let me know if anything larger than a bug comes through that window. "
However, before Jarvis could respond, Loki flicked a wrist and the glass cleared from the floor, fitting back into the window frame perfectly.
Tony whistled appreciatively and looked at Loki.
"Wait, you fixed my roof too, didn't you? You're a regular handy man!"
Thor laughed and came forward, smacking both of their backs harder than Tony had thought possible.
"Let us drink and celebrate! We have much to be thankful for, as you both returned safely!"
Loki rolled his eyes but allowed himself to be dragged off to join the oaf and the mortal for a drink.
Chapter 8 suddenly.
These could probably use more editing. eck.
Lot's more talking this time, a little window smashing action.
Review!
Watch for the next chapter's title. ufufufuufu.