-a/n- Look what Santa's bought! A new chapter for your enjoyment (I hope!) I've been writing this bit by bit the whole week and it then took me three and a half hours to type up! Eep! This chapter is focussed mainly on various relationships, which I hope you enjoy. It was particularly music-inspired: 'There's a place for us' by Carrie Underwood, Nuvole Bianche -a beautiful piece of piano music by one of my favourite composers; Einaudi and of course, the lullaby that Kel will sing is 'Into the West' by Annie Lennox.

Thank you so, so, so much for your reviews. Nearly 9000. I can't believe the wonderful support you've given me over the years with this story. No matter how long between updates there's always being prodding and messaging me and it's to your credit that I've never once considered abandoning Fallen.

May your Christmas be filled with peace and joy,

Confusedknight xxx

By the time the sun had sunk low in the sky, Kel was so tired she barely had the energy to dismount. Their party, which now numbered just under three hundred with the addition of children and the Scanran villagers, had been journeying all day.

The younger children were finicky and hungry, even some of the Scanran villagers weren't much better complaining of being saddle-sore and asking to stop for breaks every hour.

It wasn't just a lack of sleep that was affecting Kel, but the after effects of blood loss. Even a simple rising trot was enough to make her lose her breath, not to mention the pain such jerking and jolting caused.

Their campsite was a small copse, sheltered enough for a fine summer's night. Others had begun to dismount, but Kel sat numbly looking around at them all. She needed to organise sentries; but who? Everyone had missed out on sleep the previous night. There were also food rations to be distributed...these thoughts made Kel's head spin. She wanted to curl up and close her heavy eyes.

Kel looked blearily around. Neal looked in bad shape; his eyes slightly sunken and black-rimmed in an unusually pale face. He'd overexerted himself trying to save Gil and had fainted once already. Dom too was struggling, Kel could tell by his bunched shoulders and closed expression. Still covered in muck from the battle, he grieved for his two lost men; his squad was down to six.

In the end it was Fanche who organised sentry shifts and the distribution of food. Kel practically slid off of Prince and stood leaning on the solid chestnut gelding until Saefas came and offered to deal with him. Gratefully Kel let the trapper lead Prince away.

Kel could hardly believe the events of the past few days. As Neal came and sat heavily down beside her she mused that it was though her Scanran life was colliding with her Tortallan one, leaving her crushed in the middle, torn between two paths.

They were heading back to Tortall with the refugee children, something that only a day ago Kel would scarcely have thought possible. However, as they journeyed, Kel felt more conflicted than ever. Half of her wanted to run back to Tortall, to Raoul and the relative comfort and safety of her squiring position. The other parts felt the pull of unfinished events. She had promises to be kept. What of Jacqui's family? Were they safe from the likes of Maggur?

Kel fumbled in her pack for a map she'd stolen from the guardhouse at Rathhausak. Blearily she examined the lay of the land. One filthy finger traced the path from Rathhausak to the Vassa.

'You want to stay here,' said Neal heavily, observing her through dull green eyes.

'I want,' Kel replied slowly. 'For this whole war to be over. I want Maggur dead, and a just King placed in his stead.' She paused, 'I'm just not sure the best way to help.'

'These people trust you to get them back safely,' Neal pointed out softly.

'And then what? We go back to sheltering in forts, killing off a generation of Scanran men who don't necessarily want to be fighting?'

'But what else can we do?'

'More,' said Kel. 'Don't you understand? These last few days...people have been fighting Maggur like that for years. Hungry, tired, outnumbered, injured! I've fought with them Neal, watched them die. And they're just ordinary people, like Agrane's daughter, caught up in this mess...' Her voice wobbled dangerously. 'We're meant to be honourable, trained to be protectors of the defenceless, Neal!' She half sobbed. 'And yet I abandon my friends to their plight, ignore the suffering of thousands and return to Tortall.' Kel buried her face in her hands, shaking but quite unable to form tears.

'Kel,' Neal replied, shocked out of lethargy by Kel's outburst. 'The code of chivalry doesn't bind you to have to try and save everyone. You're the most selfless person I've ever met. You dropped everything, risked everything to chase after a group of commoners you barely knew. If you'd stayed in Scanra then those refugees would never have been rescued.' He paused.

'I learnt many things from my knight-mistress, including this; the Lioness may be blessed by the Goddess, with many great deeds to her name, but there are things that even Alanna can't heal, things that she can't change no matter how much she wants to. It is up to us to exercise the wisdom we've been granted Kel, to change the things we can and let go that which we can't.

You could go haring off into the depths of Scanra injured as you are, to search for a group of rebel fighters who likely don't want to be found. And maybe, if you're exceptionally lucky you'd find them in a month or two and contribute one more sword to their army. Or you could return to Tortall, where you're six months off a Knighthood and surrounded by many powerful, influential people. Why not wait and see where the will of the Gods take you?'

Neal's speech made sense in Kel's pounding brain.

'I'm sorry,' she mumbled.

The knight threw a one-armed hug around her that made Kel moan in pain.

'And I'm sorry that I can't fix that,' he said, somewhat miserably.

'What does it feel like to not have any Gift?' Kel asked curiously, wiping her burning eyes.

'It's hard to describe; I don't normally notice my Gift but when I reach and nothing's there...It feels empty.'

The friends fell into silence.

'How's that gash on your-' Neal stopped mid-sentence, realising that Kel had dropped off to sleep.

They crawled southwards mostly at a walking pace; the children and villagers found it difficult to trot for any length of time. Kel felt marginally better in the fresh day. She'd had a quick wash and was, at the very least no-longer covered in blood. Things seemed clearer in the morning light. She did have a duty to the Tortallans, and running off into Scanra whilst injured wasn't a sensible Alex wanted to find her, then Tortall would be where he'd look.

With that settled, Kel decided that there was only one thing that she had to do before leaving Scanra again. That night, as the others were making camp, Kel sought out Neal, who was patiently redressing Owen's side.

'Neal,' Kel said when he'd finished, 'There's somewhere I've got to go.'

Fear flashed across his face, 'You can't.'

'I'm coming back,' Kel hurriedly assured the knight. 'I've been looking at this map. We're only two valleys over from where some friends of mine used to live. I owe it to them to check. I'll be back by morning.'

'You're not going anywhere on your own,' Neal argued. 'What if you fall off that horse of yours and hurt yourself even more.'

Kel tried to protest, but Neal wouldn't hear it. Kel gave in; which seemed to be a common theme nowadays. They instructed Dom to take charge.

'Kel.' Worry was etched all over the Sergeant's face.

'I've got Neal with me. We'll be careful.' Kel told him gently.

Before they left, Kel allowed Neal to strap her left arm to her chest, giving it the padding to soften the jarring brought about by riding. Neal took one of the spare horses to save the one he'd been riding all day. Prince, whose stamina had not faded in all the years Kel had been riding him, was still in good shape.

'Bring a spare mount,' Kel said thoughtfully, hoping that she could persuade her friend and his family to return with them.

They rode hard, the setting sun casting long shadows as they cantered across fields and climbed up winding pathways.

'How do you keep this up?' Asked Neal exasperatedly as Kel urged Prince over another ridge.

Kel looked quizzically around.

'What?'

'Pushing yourself?'

Kel considered the question, she had a feeling that Neal wasn't only referring to her riding style. 'Because pressing on is easier than looking back.'

Despite their surroundings only being illuminated by a half-veiled moon and it's starry host, Kel began to recognise where they were.

'Down here.'

Their mounts trod a stony path down to land that Kel knew well. The stone-walled paddock, an overgrown vegetable patch and a neat farmhouse were exactly as she remembered.

'Hold Prince,' Kel dismounted nimbly, hardly daring to let hope bubble up inside her.

Kel half ran up the garden path and knocked on the wooden door. She waited, hearing movement from within. The door creaked slowly open. Eron stood in the frame. Relief washed over her.

'Who goes there?'

Kel's throat was so tight it was hard to speak. 'It's Kel,' she almost whispered.

'Kel? Our Kel?' Eron's voice was hoarse. 'Can it be? Come in, come in.'

'My friend Neal rode with me,' Kel told Eron in fluent Scanran.

'Any friend of yours is welcome,' Eron was lighting a lamp on the counter, fumbling in the dark.

'Neal,' Kel called.

The healer tethered the three horses and followed Kel inside, ducking to avoid hitting his head on the door frame.

'There,' said Eron as the lamp sputtered into light. He turned to Kel, and she couldn't help herself; Kel gasped.

'Eron.'

'Hush,' the man held out his arms, his cloudy eyes unseeing. Kel stepped into the embrace, suddenly feeling very upset.

'What happened?' She whispered.

'The Gods took my sight from me,' replied the Scanran. 'Mind it's not all bad, stopped me from being recruited when Maggur's army came knocking.'

'Oh Eron!'

'Hush child. Though -' he smiled. 'You're not a child any longer. Oh the little 'uns are going to be thrilled. Isra, Hal, Meah, it's alright, a friend. We've had to be careful,' the blind man told Kel. 'Children have been taken away down in Redroc.'

The three siblings came out cautiously.

'Kel!' Isra recognised her immediately. The young woman flew across the room, closely followed by her brother who was jabbering rapidly in Scanran. Kel welcomed their embraces, the pain worth discovering that the family was alive, and on the whole in good health.

'Didn't I tell you she'd come back,' Isra rounded on her brother who was nearly as tall as she was. Meah had meanwhile tiptoed across the room and shyly tugged on Kel's sleeve. Kel picked up the child one-handed with an effort, hugging the eight-year-old tightly. Neal watched the exchange with an bemused expression on his face. Kel put Meah gently down and the child went to hide coyly behind her father.

'So what brings you to this neck of the woods? What news from Alex?' Kel almost flinched at hearing the name spoken out loud.

'I haven't seen him in five years,' Kel replied truthfully. 'It's a long story.' Kel told a much abridged story of her return to Tortall, and her eventual return to Scanra. Conveniently leaving out her noble birth and position as a squire to Lord Raoul.

'That's a tale and a half,' whistled Eron.

'And now we're on our way back,' Kel finished.

'Will you stay for the night at least?' Eron's face had fallen. 'We don't often get visitors, let alone old friends.'

'I was hoping,' Kel ventured slowly. 'That you would come with us.'

A silence followed this statement.

'To Tortall?' Asked Isra shakily.

Kel nodded and then remembered that Eron's sight had deteriorated so she clarified 'Yes. I cannot protect you here. Blayce is gone but you're still perched on the borders of a war zone. In Tortall I can make sure you're safe, keep my promise to Jacqui.'

'But you just said all your refugees had been kidnapped, that doesn't sound safe,' Eron pointed out.

'It won't happen again,' Neal said grimly. 'The commander's will see to that.'

'But this is our home.'

'And what will we eat this winter, pa?' Enquired Isra. 'They took our goats and we've got very little planted. Half the village is starving already.'

'We'd make ends meet,' Eron argued with his eldest child. 'Do you want to leave your home?' He demanded. 'The memories of your ma?'

'Of course I don't want to leave,' snapped Isra, 'But I don't want to watch Meah and Hal go hungry this winter either. Ma's memory is in us pa, so long as we don't forget. We don't need this house to remember her.'

Kel was shocked at how authoritative Isra was. But doing the calculations Isra was fourteen, a year older than Kel had been when she'd first met the family. With Eron blind, Isra had taken over the running of the family.

'I will guarantee you food and shelter this winter,' Kel assured them. 'Even if you want to stay in my family home. Once this war is over I'll escort you back, Goddess I'll even buy you a herd of goats. Just let me keep you safe.' Kel pleaded.

'Hear that pa,' said Hal. 'New goats, and you who said we'd never be able to have any more!'

'Alex will win, he will da,' Isra insisted. 'Then we'll live proper again.'

'It seems my children are convinced,' Eron sighed. 'We'll accept your request, you've done right by us in h

the past.'

'Pack light,' Kel advised. Hal and Isra did as they were instructed.

'They're braver than me,' said Eron gruffly.

'You've raised them well.' Neal said approvingly.

'Jacqui would be proud,' Kel added quietly.

'Not of me. Look at me, scared to leave my own house.' Eron cast his sightless gaze around. 'I'm forgetting her Kel. I can't picture her face like I used to. Leaving behind our home, it feels like leaving more of her behind.'

'When we're in Tortall, I can have a look at your eyes,' offered Neal. 'I'm a healer.'

'Tortall,' the farmer rolled the name in his mouth. 'Who'd have thought?'

Isra guided her father onto the spare mount and clambered up in front of him to steer. Kel scooped up Meah whilst Neal helped Hal onto his horse.

'Oh glory,' exclaimed Hal. 'This is a proper horse. Like them knights in tales have.'

'Neal's a knight,' Kel casually mentioned, earning Neal undying respect from the children. 'He was squire to the Lioness.' Immediately Neal was bombarded with questions that didn't abate for the entirety of the ride.

Arriving in the camp in the early hours of the morning, Kel greeted a relieved Dom who was on sentry duty. His eyes widened when he saw their companions. Neal saw to the horses, accompanied by an awestruck Hal. Isra led her father to a clear patch of ground and packed blankets. Meah clung to Kel's hand as though it was a lifeline in the floods of change all around her.

'A family that looked after me for a few months,' Kel said in answer to Dom's enquiring look. 'I'm returning the favour.'

Dom kissed her quickly on the lips. 'I love you ,' he whispered. Kel smiled weakly, 'I love you too.'

She helped the small girl to remove her boots and tuck a blanket about her.

'Will you sing?' Asked Meah unexpectedly. 'Isra said ma always used to sing.'

'I'm not your ma,' said Kel hurriedly.

'But you sang to us before.' Isra pointed out quietly.

'Go on,' urged Hal.

'Alright,' Kel agreed, beginning to sing in an undertone as she smoothed the children's blankets. As she finished the final notes, she looked up, seeing an expression of surprising longing on Dom's face. Was he imagining little ones of their own?

Kel shifted uncomfortably at the thought -she definitely did not feel ready to be a mother.

As she too settled down to sleep, Kel decided that worrying over where her relationship with Dom was headed would do no good until after she'd been freed of vows and promises she'd made, until after Scanra had been liberated.

The journey south was slow, tense and hot. Kel couldn't help but think back to her solitary journey through the country. The responsibility of hundreds of clamouring children and refugees made the trip infinitely worse. The presence of Jacqui's children, who remained stoically cheerful, chattering to Kel in Scanran, singing amongst themselves and the supportive, exhausted glances of her two best friends and lover, made it exponentially better.

When the first sounds of the rushing Vassa hit Kel's ears she felt like she would cry in relief, if only she had the energy to do so. Kel lead the train of horses down half-hidden paths through the woods.

'Not long now,' she smiled wearily at the youths riding nearby, watching their wary disbelieving expressions, uncomfortably aware that many of them were the same age, if not older than she had been during her time fighting for Alex.

The Scanran smugglers greeted them in amazement.

'By the name of Mithros,' said Jeike wonderingly. 'You actually did it.'

'Did another party, our friends make it through here?' Was Kel's first, urgent question.

'Around eight days ago, lady warrior.'

The words sank into Kel's disbelieving brain like a cool balm that helped ease the headache that was her constant companion.

'Will you make us wait for nightfall?' Neal wanted to know. Kel noted that Neal's Scanran had improved over the last few weeks.

'Nay, the border's been quiet these last few days and there's little 'uns here tha; be needing their folks.'

Dom and his remaining men crossed first with their faithful mounts, so that they could supervise the unloading of the boats on the far shore. The rest of the day involved a lot of waiting around, as Kel slowly watched their number dwindling. The smugglers had two boats running and were taking it in turn to navigate the Vassa and deliver their cargo safely.

Having gained around one hundred and twenty horses in Rathhausak, Kel was now not sure what to do with them all. For now at least, she was focussing on getting all the children to Tortall.

Maybe they could sell the horses and use the money to rebuild the lives of all the refugees...it was an idea. Several hours later still, as the sky was turning a magnificent shade of red, Kel finally boarded one of the ferries, along with Neal and Owen, both of whom had refused to leave before she did. On Neal's part whether this was due to distrust about whether she'd run off, or concern for her physical well being, Kel wasn't sure. Owen simply thought it'd be 'jolly' for the three of them to keep each other company whilst they waited.

The boat ground upon gravel, Tortallan gravel, and the smuggler leapt out to haul the craft (with assistance from Derom and Saefas) safely onto firm ground. Kel took a wobbly step back onto her homeland.

'Praise Mithros and the Goddess,' Neal murmured. 'There were times when I wasn't sure this moment would come.'

'Our Kel knew what she was doing all along,' said Owen confidently, wiggling his toes happily, feeling Tortallan ground beneath his boots. 'What an adventure!'

'I've had enough adventure for a lifetime,' Neal drawled. 'If I ever express even the slightest desire to do anything other than scholarly pursuits then please lock me in a padded room until the feeling passes.'

Kel couldn't help but grin. Neal was still Neal, and she couldn't help but feel that this daredevil trip had renewed some of the closeness they'd once had.

'Just think in a few more hours we'll have baths and food.' Dom said with relish, squeezing Kel's un-bandaged shoulder. Kel turned slowly to smile at Dom and caught sight, over his shoulder, of two men who she wasn't sure she was ready to face.

'Oh,' breathed Owen, as he too spotted his knight-master. Kel squared up, trying to fill herself with the 'I couldn't-care-less-attitude,' that she'd often adopted when facing adversaries. But she did care. She respected Raoul and Wyldon second only to Alex and the thought of their disappointment made her empty stomach churn.

Kel would've liked to take the hand Dom was offering her, for support, but they were not in Scanra anymore and she'd face the consequences with a brave, exhausted face. The two knight-masters surveyed their charges with slightly alarmed expressions. It was Owen who broke the awkward silence.

'I'm sorry,' he burst out, 'But I killed Happy, sir.' Happy was Owen's name for the mount Wyldon had given him. 'Well rather, a Scanran archer killed him, but still I was riding him-' Wyldon held up a hand to stem the flood of misery bursting from Owen.

'Is that all you have to say for yourself?'

'No sir,' Owen started again. 'I'm sorry for eavesdropping and running away. I didn't want to break your trust, honest to Mithros, but you taught me that a knight does what's right over what they personally want. And Kel needed us, my Lord. The refugees needed us all, so you mustn't be angry with her.'

'Jesslaw,' said Wyldon patiently.

'We were just doing what-'

'Jesslaw,' barked Wyldon. Owen blinked and shut his mouth.

'I am sad to hear about,' -Wyldon grimaced slightly- 'Happy. I am extremely relieved, amazed even that most of you have returned from this jaunt alive. And above all I am proud, that men and women I've helped train have proved themselves to be such honourable warriors of the Realm.'

Owen bowed deeply, perhaps trying to hide the blush that had turned his already rosy cheeks scarlet Neal's mouth had dropped open. Kel stared.

'If I have ever met a squire more worthy to be a knight, Keladry of Mindelan, then may Mithros strike me down.' He took Kel's head between his hands and kissed her forehead in a fatherly way.

'Queenscove.' Wyldon addressed the knight whose mouth was still hanging open. 'Don't get used to being complimented so.' This seemed to snap Neal out of his shock.

'I wouldn't dream of it, my Lord.'

'Jesslaw!' Wyldon lead Owen away.

'Sir Nealan, I believe your father is quite eager to speak with you.' Neal recognised the dismissal from Raoul. He paused, his green eyes flicking towards Kel. She nodded imperceptibly. Neal didn't argue; for all they quarrelled Kel knew that Duke Baird and his sole surviving son were very close.

'Well you two have been busy.' Raoul said when it was just the three of them. 'Two hundred children and not even married!'

Dom snorted. 'I've missed your wit, sire.'

'And I a fine commander.' The two large men shook hands.

'We lost Lofren and Fulcher,' said Dom, pain evident in his voice.

'Good men,' sighed Raoul. 'The Black God will treat them with favour; they laid down their lives knowingly for an honourable cause.'

Dom nodded, his blue eyes bright.

'Now if you would allow me a moment with the Lady Squire?' Dom returned to his squad.

'Walk with me a short way.'

Kel fell into step beside her knight-master, hoping that they really were only going to walk a short way; her shaky legs didn't feel up to very much.

'Around six days ago a rather extraordinary event occurred,' Raoul's voice was light. 'The killing machines all died suddenly allowing Vanget to smash a fifteen company invading party to pieces. We plan to set it about that a powerful mage had joined the war on her side.'

Kel was unsure how she was meant to respond, though she was fairly sure that when Maggur's men found Blacye with a blade embedded in his heart, that it would be obvious it hadn't been a mage who'd killed him.

'I'm sorry,' she began.

'For what?' asked Raoul beaming. 'You've rescued all the refugees, killed the war mage Blayce, you've given the fighters here hope.'

It sounded so glorious but all Kel could envisage was death and more death. She was hurt, she was tired. Tears began to roll haphazardly down her cheeks. Raoul's expression was one of utter alarm as though the man who could slay giants found weeping women terrifying. He pulled her into an awkward hug, trying not to hurt her bandaged arm.

'Shh!' Kel felt like a small child being comforted by a father. Raoul smelt of horse and saddle soap.

'You're home now, praise MIthros,' relief was evident in his voice. When Kel's gentle sobs had subsided, she straightened up, apologising for the wet splotches on Raoul's tunic.

The big man waved the apology aside. 'You've had quite a fortnight, let's get you home.'

'A bath and sleep,' muttered Kel wearily.

'The infirmary first, I think,' Raoul caught his stumbling squire.

'Kel!'

'Sorry,' Kel apologised again. 'Light-head, light-headed,' she frowned, concentrating hard on the words. Raoul slung Kel's good arm over his shoulders and half-carried Kel back to the others.

'Kel' shrieked a familiar voice.

The Squire let in a sharp intake of breath as Meah barrelled into her wounded hip. 'We crossed a river! In a boat! It was so exciting.' Hal exclaimed as he loped towards his younger sibling.

'Are we safe now?' whispered Meah.

'Yes.' Kel stroked the small blonde head. 'We're safe. Where's your sister?' Kel asked drowsily.

'With pa, so he don't knock into things,' Hal explained.

'Well you stay with your pa too,' Kel instructed. 'I'll come and find you soon.'

'Where are you going?' Asked Hal curiously.

'To-' The world was pressing in on her temples, her head felt very heavy. It was easy to shut her eyes and welcome the oblivion.

It was peaceful, that was the first thing Kel noticed. No crying infants, no quarrelling adults. Someone was checking her pulse.

'She's stable, my Lord. The Duke will see to here when he gets back.' Kel's eyes flickered open.

'There,' said the harassed woman triumphantly. 'Drink all of this. You're dehydrated, half-starved and exhausted.'

The brew was foul, but within minutes Kel could feel her body responding to the liquid energy. She was in the infirmary at Mastiff; Kel recognised the large, clean and mostly empty ward as being party of Wyldon's tidy establishment.

Raoul sat on a most uncomfortable-looking stool at her bedside. His boyish face was worried.

'I'm fine,' Kel tried to assure him. 'I'm just tired. Really tired.'

'Has anyone ever told you not to frighten them like that?'

'It might have been mentioned.' Kel yawned.

'No sleeping for you yet missy.' The healer had returned with a large bowl of steaming water. 'Need to clean you up a bit before the Duke arrives. Help her out of that mail-' The healer instructed, 'I'll be back in just a minute.'

As much as Kel wanted to be clean again, she would much rather have sorted herself out in private. She had been wearing the amour almost solidly for nearly two weeks. She smelt of dried blood and sweat and getting mail off of her broken arm was going to hurt, a lot.

Reluctantly Kel unbuckled her sword belt, removed her wrist-guards and slipped the make shift sling from over her head. As she began to struggle out of the mail Kel felt a large pair of hands easing the metal over first one arm and her head, then gently off her massively swollen left arm. Kel looked down; her shirt was disgustingly stained; yellow sweat patches were marred by iron-brown patches where blood had soaked through the mail.

The healer stripped Kel down to her underwear behind a screen, tutting over Kel's makeshift bandages and probing her for injuries. Horrible bruises littered her body and from what Kel could see of it, her back was one big bruise caught spectacularly in the transition from purple to a yellowing-brown.

Kel insisted on washing herself and sponged the worst of the dirt from off her body and out of her hair. Slopping water over the flagstone floor as she did so. Flakes of crusty blood turned the water brown and the healer had to change the water twice before Kel was satisfied that she was as clean as possible under the circumstances.

The healer brought her a baggy set of wide breeches and linen shirt as well as a clean loincloth. Retaining her breast band, Kel changed and sat down on the bed to wait. Raoul, having been informed it was safe to do so, sidled around the screen.

'Kel you're bleeding!' Raoul exclaimed after a few minutes of silence.

Kel looked down and saw a scarlet patch on her hip. She muttered a curse. 'Must've cracked the scab.' At that moment, Duke Baird appeared.

'My apologies Lady Squire,' I had to heal more than one wound before letting your valiant soldiers return to their barracks.'

'Are they okay?' Kel's voice was anguished. 'Is Neal alright?'

'My son is sleeping in this very room,' Duke Baird reassured Kel. 'With a few days rest he will regain his Gift and be just fine.'

'We owe him our lives.' Kel told the older man, thinking of how Neal's Gift had decimated half of Stenmun's forces, bound the Scanran soldiers to silence, and patched up the injured, how his sword and determination had opened the gate in the critical point in the battle...

'Funny,' said Duke Baird. 'He says the same of you.'

In under five minutes Kel's hip was sorted and her head wound healed. That left her arm. Duke Baird's gift reached out with cooling through the inflamed tissue.

'Keladry I'm going to have to reset two of these breaks,' said the healer gravely. Kel nodded, giving her permission.

Bone grated in her arm and Kel cried out in agony. Raoul reached for her hand and squeezed, bringing Kel back to the present. Panting, Kel gritted her teeth whilst Neal's father finished his work, determined not to faint again. Raoul distracted her by filling her in on what he'd been doing in her absence.

When he'd finished the Duke manipulated her stiff arm. 'You should be back to normal within the week.' Kel's eyes widened; that was some serious healing she'd had.

Baird consulted the notes his assistant had handed him. 'May I see your back?'

Kel turned so that her back faced the two men and lifted her shirt up shoulder level. Raoul gasped in horror.

'What in the divine realms happened?' Baird observed the horizontal lines of bruising.

'Thrown down stairs,' Kel muttered, not wanting to go into detail about that terrible fight. Cool fire sank in to Kel's back and she marvelled at how painfree and light a person could feel. The effects of the energy drink were wearing off. Healings always made her tired. Kel slept.

The memories of the recent weeks were painful, but being rested and mostly healed allowed Kel to see things in a more positive light.

Kel retold her version of events the next afternoon, aided by Neal when her voice faltered. When the story was done, the two Lords wore different expressions. Raoul's impressed, Wyldon's puzzeld.

'It is an extraordinary tale,' said the Lord of Cavall slowly. 'How did you know how to cross the Vassa? How did you manage to convince Scanrans to join you, enlist the help of the villagers? How did you tirck the slave traders into thinking you were a slave?

Kel looked into Wyldon's scarred, steady face.

'When I disappeared,' Kel said, deciding that now was time to start revealing her Scanran ties. 'I spent most of those years in Scanra.' Her story was easier to tell each time. 'I used to gather information for a group of rebel fighters. I spent a fair amount of time as a slave.' Kel showed the number burned onto her arm. 'I've fought for the Scanran's homes already. It helped me convince them to aid us.'

Lord Wyldon, shook his head, struggling to absorb this information. He saw from Raoul and Neal's lack of shock that they had already known Kel's secret.

'I removed you from Page training in a foolish attempt to protect you.' Wyldon said slowly, 'Only you, Keladry of Mindelan would go and join a group of rebel fighters instead.'

That evening Kel took herself for a walk around the fort. After weeks on the road the safety of Mastiff felt too confining.

The air was warm and the night as still as the glittering heavens. Kel smoothed her green Goldenlake tunic, wondering how on earth she was still a squire. Faleron of King's Reach acknowledged Kel as she passed under his guard post.

Kel found a quiet corner and ran through some sword exercises, trying to work the stiffness out of her arms. It had been a while since she'd had the energy to train.

The next day, Kel decided, she was going to drill against someone who knew how to use an axe, and maybe she could ask Raoul if he knew of any effective moves that might've aided her in her fight against Stenmun. Kel wasn't one to identify a weakness and not try to fix it.

Soon after Kel returned to her room there was a quiet knock on her door. Stepping aside, Kel let her tall friend enter. Neal did not say anything but hovered by the window. Kel sat on her bed, gently stretching and waiting patiently for words to come.

'I just spoke to Lady Alanna, by a magelink. She's only just heard that I'd gone, although it's all still unofficial of course.' Neal played with green fire between his fingers. 'I couldn't tell her,' Neal said in a choked voice. 'She taught me to uses my Gift to heal. And yet I made them burn...' His hands balled into fists and the green fire vanished. 'Every time I close my eyes or my mind drifts I can hear that crackling, screaming. I can see us fighting, surrounded and so terrified that we'd never make it out of that bloodbath.' His expression was haunted. 'How do you bear it?'

'I'm sorry,' said Kel. 'It was I who led you there, who made you put your Gift to such a terrible use. Their blood is on me, not you, Neal.' She sighed. 'If I've learnt one thing it's that war is ugly; no glorious battle to be reminisced at firesides. It damages, body and mind. We're left with memories, nightmares, forced to bear witness over and over to terrible deeds. Maybe it's the Gods way of making us think twice before we go to fight?' Kel shrugged. 'We just endure it and let time ease the memories.'

Kel moved so that her legs hung off of the end of the bed. 'It's only been a few days Neal,' she said understandingly. 'It took me four years to tell you what happened in Scanra. Just cling on to the thought of what might've occurred had we not acted.

Neal turned from the window to regard Kel with heavy emerald eyes. 'You're the oldest eighteen-year-old I've ever met.'

'Nineteen,' realised Kel. She must've turned nineteen at some point during their mission.

'Thanks,' said Neal after another five minutes of silence. 'You were the only one who I thought would understand.'

'Thank you,' said Kel awkwardly, as Neal reached the door. 'For coming after me, for trusting me.' She said quietly, 'It means a lot.'

The two friends embraced each other; words weren't necessary. If Alex was her brother, then Neal, Kel decided, was the best friend she'd ever have.

In the days after, Kel kept a close eye on Neal but he appeared to be coping much better. He was back to making clever remarks, and helping in the infirmary at any rate.

Owen looked older, but bore his burden stoically. The cheery squire was stronger than he looked, brimming with determination. He would be fine.

Kel saw Dom intermittently. He was working hard with his squad, training the two new recruits that had been assigned to them. One morning after sword drill Kel found the men of the Own and quietly thanked them, promising that if ever there was something she could do to return their loyalty, then she would.

Kel eyed the two new members. Both were young. A Bazhir and a similarly tanned man whose quality of sword and boots spoke of nobility.

'Akmire Ikn Dohl and Roge of Meron, meet Squire Keladry of Mindelan.' Dom introduced.

The recruits seemed tongue-tied at being found amongst all the veteran warriors. Looking round Kel was hardly surprised; they all still bore bruises and scrapes from Scanra.

'Don't ever challenge Squire Kel to a duel,' advised Seth seriously.

'Or steal a bunch of people in front of her,' whispered Derom. 'She's mean.'

The recruit's eyes widened as they observed Kel and her mild expression.

'Milord picked her for a reason.'

'So did Dom,' snickered Peter.

Dom glared.

'Come off it Serg,' protested Seth. 'You're the worst kept secret in Third Company, after my Lord and Commander Buri of course.' Dom scowled at his new Corporal.

'Fine,' he turned to the new men. 'Yes Kel and I are courting-'

'That's one way of putting it,' snorted Derom.

'And no you're not supposed to know.' Dom finished. He threw his arms up in the air in a very Neal-like gesture. 'We should've left them all in Scanra, Kel.' He declared.

'Nonsense, then Lady Kel would be forced to look after you herself.' Said Seth.

'I can take that promotion back,' Dom warned.

Kel left them to it. The King's Own looked after each other. They too would be fine.

Before returning to her knight-master Kel made one final trip to the barracks housing the refugees. Kel was greeted enthusiastically by all and found it hard to fight her way through to the people she wanted to see.

'You're looking a mite better,' Fanche remarked. Saefas, resting his wounded leg on a bed behind Fanche called, 'Nice to see you Lady Kel.' Kel waved.

'Your young family's over there,' Fanche pointed. At one end of the barracks all the Scanran's had congregated. Hal, Isra and Meah, being the only children there were the centre of attention and lived up to the task, singing, playing and re-inacting their favourite tales.

Eron strode down the central isle towards Kel.

'I can see,' he shouted, embracing kel and then holding her at arms length. 'By Yarzhed you've grown.' Kel beamed into the blue eyes that were uncloudy once more.

'Thank your tall healer friend.'

'Kel, Kel,' shrieked Hal and Meah, throwing themselves onto the Lady squire.

Alex's legs were burning by the time he'd made it to the crest of the hill. The others were waiting ahead, mounted. Not for the first time he cursed the lameness that had left them two horses short.

Travelling south had been hard work, sharing horses they took it in turns to run and walk, an activity which left them sweaty and exhausted.

There before him lay castle Rathhausak, his home. Fassin handed Alex a spyglass wordlessly. He examined the familiar parapets and turrets, his heart thumping. It was all very still.

Raising the tube higher Alex caught sight of a white fluttering flag. Who dared to removed the flag of his kinsmen? It unfurled, almost in slow motion. Realisation and emotion crashed over him.

His flag of freedom flew, printed by a hand that could only have been Kel's.

'Come on,' he shouted, already running down the trail that wound around to Rathhausak.

Please review, it's Christmas :D

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