Author's Note: I can't believe I got such good feedback! Thank you C:

I realized that this is a very slow-paced story but it will be interesting, I hope. Ahaha. I also realized that there are many things that will shock you and some thing that you'll probably say "I KNEW THAT!". Also, Naruto seems to speak in Tagalog whenever he feels pressured or when he's irritated hence the many swears. Some characters may seem out of it to you but how they are will make sense in the next chapters or so. Would love to hear your thoughts in a review :)

EDIT: Guest, thank you for your thoughts on this chapter but I must say I did warn you before hand that there would be (the language is) Tagalog slang. It's not Spanish so maybe you're mad cause the spelling or whatever is messed up and you thought I was butchering your language (I know it's the same word but it doesn't mean the same things. For example your leche is milk and our leche is shit). It's Tagalog and it's not horrible as you say cause I'm a native speaker so I should know.

I'm not taking it out. I like it in my story so, yeah. Tbh you're review kinda made me feel insulted on behalf of all the Filipinos who speak our 'horrible language' but thank you for your input nonetheless. :)

Special thanks to: Xxferessa-TanXx, jasono346, Guest,and loveunaruto for your reviews :D

So it wasn't so bad. Everyone was at least civil, not the douche bags Naruto was expecting. Of course that could have only been because this 'school' of theirs happened to have a sort of hierarchy. And guess who was at the fucking top?

"This can't seriously be a real school. I feel like I'm stuck in a Korean drama." Was the most Naruto had to say for the situation as people greeted him when he passed by and since he was acting out as Menma, he had to keep in the desire to greet people right back because Namikaze Menma does not do polite and happy unless Papa Namikaze was here.

Cue hysterical laughter due to frustration. Yes, not even half a day into the stupid mission and he was at his wits end. Already at his wits end.

Naruto leaned back against his chair, taking in a deep breath. At least the cafeteria was nice. The quad was a large open area overlooking the many basketball and volleyball courts while the buildings for classrooms and laboratory experiments formed a frame around it.

It was sort of peaceful here, with the many towering trees. He didn't expect that here in Japan what with their puny bonsais but what did he know, exactly? Not a lot… maybe nothing at all.

"You're thinking too much right now." Naruto looked up, startled at the fingers smoothing down the wrinkles that were probably on his forehead. When they pulled away, he stared into familiar cobalt colored eye that reminded him shockingly of his own. "Where have you been brat?"

Who is this? Nothing's coming up. He studied the face, studied the body and wracked his brain for anything to come up. Fuge's files were largely lacking in information and Naruto cursed inwardly. He'd gone out of his way to berate Hanabi for her sloppiness but here he was about to be found out for the exact same thing. He should have done more research. Bobo puta!

"Oy Deidara, why do you have to call Menma that?" Karin said somewhat annoyingly to his left. Could she not see that he was having an internal crisis here? "You'd think you'd treat your brother better, tsk."

Brother.

"You don't hear him complaining, un." Deidara, apparently, crossed his arms over his chest, the lack of the second eye making sense with the long blonde bang hanging lose from the ponytail on his head. Fuge's records suck if they missed the fact that Menma had a fucking brother.

Naruto quickly recovered, not wanting to get caught off guard again and observed the way Deidara and Karin talked to each other. Bullheadedness ran in the family it seemed. Well, Naruto could deal with that. He didn't live with Lola Tsunade for seven years without learning anything from the bruha.

"Will you two just can it?" Naruto sighed aggravated. "Look, I just went to be alone for a while. Sorry I didn't tell you or anything, but I'm back now so just drop it, okay?"

Deidara shook his head, not missing a beat. "No, not okay, un. I know that it's better for you to stew when you're mad and all that but you don't leave your big brother hanging like that, un! And worse you dropped on Ino's birthday! You owe her big time now, stupid."

Ino?

"Whatever." Naruto sniffed and turned away from them and pulling out his painfully new Iphone that had been filled with pictures upon pictures of Menma which had sickened Naruto to look at earlier. Now that he thought about it, maybe he should have. There were bound to be pictures of the people Fuge missed in it somewhere.

"If you think you're gonna get away with sending her a text now, it's not gonna work, un." Deidara frowned. "You messed up big, Menma. It was her eighteenth, un."

"I'll make it up to her." Naruto promised as he unlocked the screen and proceeded to hunt for the Gallery. Of course, the universe was simply against him. Warm palms closed over his eyes, his vision going black.

"Guess who." A disembodied voice demanded. A solid chest pressed against his back and the smell of apples assaulted his nose.

Naruto took another deep breath. Please let this be what Menma would do. "I'm not in the mood."

"You're never in the mood." The hands pulled away, letting the sunlight flow back into Naruto's field of vision. The chair in front of him had been pulled back and a ravenhead deposited himself into it. "How have you been Menma?"

"Good." Naruto smiled a bit at him because this one he recognized. "Did you miss me, Sasuke?"

"Miss you?" Sasuke smirked at him, obsidian eyes glimmering with a hidden spark. "I haven't had a good fuck in a month. I miss Junior more than I miss you though."

"I see." Naruto drawled. There was a slight flush crawling the back of his neck as he tried to process what the youngest Uchiha had meant.

"None of that." a second new voice cried. Again, a chair had been pulled back and a brunette this time dumped himself into it, his entire body sagging against it.

Naruto calmed upon seeing him. A genuine smirk lifted his lips as he met the man's eyes and although he wasn't actually undercover, he was still a Fuge agent and a good friend Naruto hadn't seen in years. "What's shakin' Nara? No menthols with you?"

"I'm trying to quit idiot, which you'd know if you didn't go poof on us for an entire month." Shikamaru let his head hand over the edge of his seat. "How are you though?"

"Good. Great." Naruto tried to contain the happy smile that wanted to split his face in half. "I'm back."

.x.

Hey Kiba, send HQ a message for me.

I want it taken to them immediately and it has to be said and written down word for word. It's important:

You're researching skills suck.

Thanks.

.x.

Naruto sat in his free period class where he'd been told that he had no friends attending. He took the time to look at the contents of his phone, which with some tinkering, apparently contained whatever the real Menma had.

He sure loves his applications. Flappy bird, Tetris, Zombie Tsunami. Naruto chuckled softly to himself. This guy's a kid at heart. Maybe he isn't too bad.

The gallery was also filled of, as Naruto saw when he first checked it, hundreds of pictures of Menma (Selfielord lang ang peg). It had to go past two hundred forty-five for him to find any decent pictures of him and his friends.

There was a really nice picture of Shikamaru, Menma, Sasuke, and (someone who Naruto hadn't met yet personally) Gaara in casual clothes and what looked like Disney Land.

Some photos featured Memes that Naruto was sure he'd seen somewhere on Facebook. That reminded him that he had Menma's password and that he should probably get a look into posting something soon. Whoever it was targeting the Namikaze family would not be aware of Menma's disappearance otherwise Naruto's mission would have been for nothing.

Naruto scrolled down a few more pictures and saw a very formal looking picture of Menma, Deidara, and who he could assume was Ino. The dark black hair looked out of place between the two blondes but the eyes were all a similarly beautiful cobalt blue.

He was disarmed. Not only did Menma have a brother but he had a younger sister.

Ang tanga ng gago na toh, seryoso. Naruto concluded. Very stupid, indeed. Why would he give up such a good life? He had school, he had friends, and he had a family. Fuck all the people he's seen in the Philippines, the children, walking around with absolutely nothing and here's a guy who disappears on something any one of those children would die to have.

Of course there was the possibility that Menma didn't just disappear and was actually taken.

That's it, Naruto grumpily scrolled through more pictures. No more judging.

He was actually looking for something, and it was all because of what Sasuke had said. 'Haven't had a good fuck for a month.' Sasuke associated Menma with a good fuck, then that meant that the Namikaze heir swung that way? And for the Uchiha to mention it so crassly and openly, that meant that everybody knew about them and it could possibly be a boyfriend-boyfriend relationship.

Naruto wasn't bothered, to say, since he's had his fair share of boys. Experimentation never killed anyone (although a scientist could probably protest that) after all. But he needed to know just what exactly Menma and Uchi- Sasuke, Sasuke (first names dammit), had.

If one thing, it would help him feel more comfortable in his role as Menma.

Unfortunately, there weren't any more pictures of Sasuke as there were of anybody else. Of course, Menma didn't seem like the type to keep pictures of his supposed boyfriend so he could drool on them.

Naruto sighed and tucked his Iphone away. Everything seemed to be harder for him since he wasn't that informed. He was sure that Fuge wasn't this sloppy with research so he couldn't really understand why he had so little information to begin with. Was this meant to be a reconnaissance mission? Did they not have enough stuff on the Namikaze family?

They've gotta tell people these things, seriously.

.x.

Naruto wondered if it had been such a great idea to start Menma's day at school and not at home. He wished he could take the easy way out and just tell these people that for the sake of the Namikaze's safety, they'd have to deal with an impostor for a couple of days. But nooo, anyone could be a suspect.

'Kung pwede lang I'd be back in Manila and getting ready to head out to Baguio.' Naruto thought sadly as he walked up the empty driveway.

It was a modest three story house that had multiple balconies and was wider than it was tall. There weren't a lot of things from Naruto's vantage point that could determine what kind of people lived in that house, aside from maybe rich since he was sure that that was at least four Maseratti's right in front of him. He let out a low whistle.

'I don't think I'm in Japan. Diyos ko, I think I took a wrong turn to America.' Naruto looked at the door and wondered what he should do. Did Menma knock? He had a key but he wasn't sure if he should just go in, especially if Papa Namikaze was in there. He didn't think the 'I just needed to be alone for a while' excuse would work on a parent. Lord knows it never worked on Tsunade.

"Menma? You're home early, un." Naruto turned away from the door to his left, which was a sort of gate. It was partially opened and he could see Deidara who had a little boy perched on his hip a fist in his little mouth.

"Felt like it." He returned lamely, eyes still on the kid. Red hair fell in pin straight bangs all over his forehead and around his head, reaching the nape of his neck. His skin was pale and his eyes were the same cobalt blue as the man carrying him.

'He has a kid.' Naruto licked his lips, now even more nervous. He should have gone in the damn door when he had the chance. He felt paralyzed as he was stared at by both Deidara and the unknown toddler, who could have only been more or less two years old.

"Mah!" the kid suddenly screamed, arms reaching out for him. Naruto reacted instinctively, reaching out for him as well. He only had a second to worry if that was something Menma would have done before he became too focused with the little fists grabbing at his wig.Shit.

"Enko missed you. That's what you get for disappearing on him and all that." Deidara smiled, hands on his hips. He turned around and walked the pathway Naruto had missed. Naturally, Naruto followed him all the while keeping a good hold of one of Enko's, so it seemed tiny little hands.

"Are you ever gonna get over that?" Naruto asked in all honest curiosity as he started bouncing Enko in his arms. The redhead seemed to like that as he abandoned the idea of grabbing at Naruto's wig and instead shrieked till everybody's ear drums hurt.

"Give me time, Menma, un." Deidara sighed as he slid a glass door open and walked in. He slipped of his shoes and took Enko from Naruto's arms so he could do the same. "You know how lonely it gets in this house. We went from barely five to four in a second and that just scared us a lot."

'So they do care about each other.' Naruto mused. Now he was hoping that Menma really was taken so that he could give the kid an excuse. If he disappeared cause he really just felt like it… Boom.

"Sorry." Naruto smiled and received Enko for his efforts as they entered, what seemed to be the kitchen.

"You will be." Deidara smirked over his shoulder.

Naruto only had a second to wonder what that meant.

"Put my baby down so that I can smack you." Ino, or who Naruto thought was Ino, stood at five foot four, hands on her hips, cobalt blue eyes gleaming wickedly. Instead of doing as she asked, Naruto's grip on Enko tightened and Ino either didn't care and was gonna hit him anyways or didn't notice anymore. "No calls, no texts, no notes, no messages from any of our friends. What the hellMenma?!"

"Apparently he's sorry." Deidara called from where he was rummaging through the cupboards.

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" Ino was right in front of him now and a swift swing of her arm made a painful throbbing build up at the back of Naruto's head.

Aray! He winced and pressed his own fingers to what he was sure was a forming bump. Then there were arms around him, locking his arm in place in that awkward position while Enko was contentedly pressed against his chest.

Ino gripped him tightly, figure slightly shaking. "We thought something happened to you Menma. Never do that again."

Naruto's heart softened. They really do care about each other. "I won't."

Ino pulled back, hands again falling back to her hips. "Good. Now you sit down over there while I finish dinner. You're a little early though, why?"

"Just felt like it." Naruto answered, making his way towards the bar counter and sitting on one of the stools. He settled Enko in front of him, keeping him between the bar and himself. The one year old laughed and swung and kicked his legs around, nearly hitting Deidara who was now sitting beside Naruto.

"Now that you're back we can talk about that trip we wanted to go too, un." Deidara said. "Where were we last time?"

"We said Thailand." Ino answered as she lowered a huge wok from a cabinet. "But we've been there twice already, I'm kinda getting tired of it. If we go there one more time I'm gonna get fat!"

"Maybe we should just steer clear of the floating market then." Deidara suggested as he pulled out a laptop from one of the counters drawers. He jabbed it to life and seemed to be scrolling through countries sluggishly, lazily, almost as if this was something the three of them did all the time.

Naruto realized that maybe it was something they did all the time. Just not him, but Deidara, Menma, and Ino. (Their names are Deidara, Menma, and Ino. Mud, bamboo shoots, and pig. Where they born in the mountains or something?).

Which begs the question, who was Enko?

Naruto looked down at the baby that was now playing with the buttons on his uniform shirt and wondered if this was a brother or if this was a nephew.

Hmm.

.x.

Hey Kiba,

This is a serious favor now, no messing around. Can you get me any info on a Namikaze Enko? It's really important that I get answers stat. Cover's under question here.

Thanks

.x.

This is all I got for you on such short notice man, you know I don't have access to the big files like Shikamaru. Why don't you talk to him though? Before you ask, he knows. About the mission, and about the kid.

Name: Namikaze Enko

Age: 22 months old

Gender: Male

Height: 2'11

Eye color: Blue

Hair color: Copper

Mother: Namikaze Ino

Father: Nara Shikamaru

.x.

Naruto stared at his Iphone for a moment before he tossed it on his desk and dumped himself into his bed. Or rather, Menma's bed.

It was just after dinner, and he was a bit drained. It wasn't easy pretending to be Menma when it was his family. For one thing they knew him inside out ("Ino, why is your hair colored?" "Oh, you can dye yours but I can't dye mine?) and for another this was the man'sfamily. It always sucked to lie to them the most because for a better portion of their time they trust you. And that's always something that hurts to lose.

And also, there were things that seemed to be for the Namikaze's eyes and ears such as baby Enko.

'Shika's a dad.' Naruto thought idly as he stared at the ceiling. He ran a hand over his face, feeling every inch of his body succumbing to the soft mattress it was laying on. 'Seven years. Just how much can you miss in seven years?'

Naruto tried to run through all the friends he'd left here in Japan and felt very awful for such bad communication. There was Kiba, who he knew was now a full-fledge Fuge agent and was making a name for himself under the guise of a dog walker. Then he also had Hinata and Neji who were also Fuge agents but also working under Hinata's father's company. Shikamaru, a Fuge agent in hiding like himself, was still undergoing studying in preparation of something and was apparently a dad.

Out of all of them, Naruto couldn't believe Shikamaru's standing.

And Ino and Shikamaru were obviously not together if Enko's last name was anything to go by. Why didn't Nara give his last name to the kid if he knew who Enko was?

Diyos ko. Naruto thought tiredly and threw an arm over his eyes. Too much drama here in Japan. And I think I'm caught in the middle of all of it.

There was also the issue of Uchiha Sasuke.

Who was he to Menma?

.x.

Uchiha Sasuke: Thanks for tonight. I really needed that.
Uchiha Sasuke: What are you so stressed about?
Uchiha Sasuke: Don't lie, I can tell when you're lying.
Uchiha Sasuke: It's a gift.
Uchiha Sasuke: Maybe. Let's talk about it over dinner.
Uchiha Sasuke: That wasn't a request.
Uchiha Sasuke: Really though, pick me up at eight?
Uchiha Sasuke: Itachi's coming home tonight, that's why.
Uchiha Sasuke: Did I forget to mention that Kisame's coming with him?
Uchiha Sasuke: Cool. See you then!

Namikaze Ino: Could you pick up that tofu Enko likes so much? I can't go out today. Thanks!
Namikaze Ino: Get some milk too! We're all out.

Sabaku Gaara: You worry too much.
Sabaku Gaara: You should just focus on your studies.
Sabaku Gaara: We need to talk.

Namikaze Minato: I can't seem to get a hold of your brother or you sister so tell them my flight's been postponed okay? Love you. Send me a message of whatever you guys want from Paris!

.x.

Naruto pursed his lips as he studied the received messages. None of the sent items were saved. Menma had the habit of deleting them so it seemed and he could make up much of the conversations. What he did know was the Papa Namikaze was called Minato and he seemed very nice.

How he got that from one text he didn't know. Maybe it was because of the 'love you'. He appreciated that Minato openly told his children that. Some parents hardly did. Tsunade didn't but Naruto felt the love with every one of her backslaps. The harder they were the stronger the love. He should see about sending Lola Tsunade a gift or something, maybe a case of sake of he could get his hands on some without anybody knowing.

Mind off of that, Naruto looked up at the sound of the bell ringing as the café door opened. He wondered if Uchiha's prided themselves over being fashionably late.

He'd set a meeting with Sasuke, with the hopes of finally figuring out what was going on between Menma and him but the ravenhead had had him waiting for nearly half an hour now and he was starting to get impatient.

Ding.

And that bell was really starting to piss him off.

"Menma." The chair in front of him was pulled back and Sasuke lowered himself into it, looking absolutely pleased with himself.

"Where you waiting for the new year to pass before you got here?" Naruto asked sourly as he leaned back on his own chair.

"That's a new one." Sasuke nodded. He reached a hand out and took the latte on the table that Naruto had been sipping from the past half hour. "It's cold."

"It's mine." Naruto deadpanned. "Get your own coffee."

"Too lazy." Sasuke shrugged his shoulders before he rotated his neck, wincing at the audible cracks. "Thanks for getting me out of the house. Itachi is being mean again."

"Oh?" Naruto asked as he flagged won a waitress.

"Yes," Sasuke sighed. "Apparently his time in America had not been too much fun and so he had to put a little excitement in his life with the use of me and his new Veyron."

Naruto choked on his latte. "He got a Veyron?"

Sasuke snorted and nodded. "Ferrari's are so overrated, Otouto."

Naruto shook his head in disbelief. "Wow."

"It's red."

"His favorite." Naruto guessed.

Across from him Sasuke simply sighed and closed his eyes before realizing the waitress was there and giving out his order.

Naruto took a moment and remembered his coffee order; chocolate chip Frappucino. Funny, Sasuke didn't look like the frap-y kind.

"So why exactly did you wanna meet up?" Sasuke asked. "I wasn't really serious about the fucking. Although I do miss it."

Naruto settled with, "I don't really know. I guess I just wanted to see you."

"Are you going sentimental on me Namikaze?" Sasuke gave him an incredulous look. "I know I'm lovable but you can't break our rules."

Naruto chuckled. So they had rules. "Care to remind me what those were again?"

Sasuke sat up properly now as the waitress returned with his drink. He played with the straw for a moment before he took a sip, an extremely entertained expression on his face.

Naruto stared at him, meeting the obsidian gaze squarely. "Anytime this century would be nice."

"If you insist." Sasuke drew the straw out and leisurely licked at the frap that stuck to it and drew his tongue into his mouth. "Number one, nobody has to know."

Naruto nodded.

"Number two, no making things awkward and number three, no getting jealous when we see other people."

Naruto nodded again.

"Number four, expensive gifts are always a plus." Sasuke took a long drink of his frap and he stared at Naruto as he sucked.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at such a gleeful expression. "Gonna tell me number five?"

Sasuke chuckled. "Why, Menma. You'd think you'd remember the one rule you created."

"Just tell me Sasuke." Naruto insisted, reaching into his wallet and pulling out enough yen to cover both their drinks.

"Dobe." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Number five, no falling in love. That's crap."

Glossary:

Bobo is another swear word. It's equivalent would be stupid, I guess.

Bruha is a term to describe a girl that you could hate. I guess it could be considered the Tagolog term for bitch but in this case, Naruto uses it as an endearment. I do that myself with my girl friends. They're my loka-bruhas.

Selfielord okay this one I gotta explain. When you take a picture of yourself you call it a "Selfie" in the Philippines. A selfielord is someone who takes tons of selfies a day which would accumulate to hundreds in your phone.

Lang ang peg is a trending statement. It sorta implies that you were copying something/someone with what you were doing. Kinda like if you eat ramen really fast people would say "naruto lang ang peg" cause that's how Naruto eats ramen- really fast.

Ang tanga ng gago na toh, seryoso roughly translates to "This idiot is really stupid, seriously."

Kung pwede lang translates to "If it were only allowed"

Diyos ko literally translates to "My God"

Aray! means "Ow!" or "It hurts!"