This chapter is dedicated two ways. Firstly to my beautiful cat Bella who had to be put to sleep on Monday. She was my companion through many a late night writing Fallen and will be sorely missed.

Secondly, to Flt Lt Jon Egging, a Red Arrow crew member whose plane tragically crashed last Saturday. For those of you who don't know, the Red Arrows are a british RAF display team who perform AMAZING acrobatics and stunts at air shows. They are some of the finest pilots in the world. I've watched them perform every year for as long as I can remember, most recently two weeks ago. Last weekend, with his wife watching, this 33 year old's plane failed (reason as yet unknown) it was heading towards a housing estate and he made a split second decision, foregoing the chance to eject himself from the plane in favour of turning it away from the houses. By the time he'd done this he was too low to survive ejecting from the plane. It's a sad reminder that although we're not living in a fantasy world, heroes still exist.

On a lighter note, TEN THOUSAND reviews. I love you guys so much! Nowadays I don't even want to add up how many hours I spend writing, but whatever the number, hearing your encouragement makes it all worthwhile :D

Enjoy -this is a long 'un!

Confusedknight xx

PS. Disclaimer: There are a couple of paragraphs in here copied direct from the books. You'll recognise they're not mine but I felt it was right to use them to stay in canon.

Kel slept unusually late, exhausted from the previous day's ride and the meeting that had stretched into the earlier hours of the morning. When consciousness returned she lay wrapped in the warmth of her blankets, mulling over the decisions that had been reached during the meeting.

She, Kel, was not only to lead a Tortallan force into Scanra in the spring, but should Alex fail she was charged with acting as a regent until Tobe could take the throne. Her brain ran in circles trying to figure out just what position this left her in. Eventually her practical side forced herself out of bed, thinking that she'd just have to work things out as she went along.

Raoul was pouring over papers on the desk when Kel entered the guest office her knight-master had been assigned.

'Morning Kel,' Raoul said without bothering to look up.

'Good morning,' Kel replied, pouring herself a large glass of water.

'We're leaving for Steadfast at noon.' Kel's heart rose at the thought of seeing Dom and Neal again, and trying to settle back into a semblance of a routine. 'But first I need to submit to George my suggestions for warriors to be in your taskforce.'

'Have you chosen anyone yet, Sir?' Kel asked, perching on a chair with her legs tucked beneath her.

'A couple,' Raoul looked up at Kel, bags ornamented his dark eyes. He'd obviously slept poorly. 'I'm to find ten men. So I've got three here from First Company, four from the Second and I'm just trying to finalise those from Third. Have you any suggestions?'

Kel got the impression that this was a slight test of her ability to weigh up the strengths and weaknesses of the men she had grown to know over the past four years.

'The men are all good fighters,' she murmured, 'but I need soldiers that are smart. A Bazhir would be far too noticeable, as would large men such as yourself.' Kel paused, 'Gregory of Qasim's squad. He's impressed me before, and he knows how to keep his mouth shut.' She shrugged, 'Any of Dom's squad except the two new recruits and Derom. Eoin, Gilave, Baxter,' she listed names that sprang to mind.

'I'm in an awkward position Kel,' Raoul admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. 'I want to send you the best I've got.' He waited until he caught Kel's eyes. 'I want this to succeed and by Mithros I don't want you to get hurt. But I've got to protect the border and I need the strength of the Own to remain undiminished.'

'I understand,' said Kel quietly. 'And I'm sorry for ever putting you in this position.'

'I'm not annoyed at you,' Raoul was as serious as Kel had ever seen him, 'but worried, yes, that so much hangs on chance.'

'The gods will see Maggur fall,' said Kel, a lot more confidently than she felt. In truth the gods had never showed any interest in Alex's campaign, but the thought was comforting.

There was a pause in which Raoul scratched out a few sentences on the paper in front of him, the pencil looking frail in his ham-sized fist.

'There,' he gathered up the sheaf of papers.

'Sir,' ventured Kel cautiously, 'Have you told anyone about...?'

'No,' Raoul knew exactly to what Kel referred. 'Are you going to?'

Kel shrugged helplessly. 'It complicates matters somewhat.'

Raoul let out a bark of laughter. 'That's an understatement.' He shook his head, 'If there's one thing you and Alanna have got in common, youngster, it's the ability to find trouble.'

Kel twisted her hands in her lap. 'I'd give my sword and my life for his campaign, Sir,' she began shakily, 'But he's given me responsibility for the country should he fall. To secure and run the most unstable land whilst training a stable boy to take over the job.' She laughed almost hysterically. 'This is more ridiculous than the most far-fetched of tales.'

Raoul looked on anxiously. 'What are you going to do?'

'I'm not going to let him bloody die, that's what,' said Kel roughly. 'I'll drag him back from the Black God himself if I have to.'

'So mote it be,' murmured Raoul.

Later that day Kel and Raoul set out from Mastiff at a brisk trot. What had started out as a pleasant day was growing greyer by the moment. Kel wore a light jacket that kept out the autumnal breeze and leather gloves that made it difficult to do up the buckles on her saddle bags.

It felt nice to ride, just the two of them for a change. Kel wondered absent-mindedly what it would be like to be a squire to an ordinary knight rather than to the Knight Commander of the Own. She thought of the blue-uniformed men she normally rode and fought alongside. A lot quieter and a lot less fun, was the answer to her question. She felt slightly sorrowful that her time with the Own was coming to an end. Maybe, once the whole problem with Scanra was sorted Raoul would let Kel ride along as a knight.

If I'm not running Scanra at that point, Kel thought darkly.

Halfway through the afternoon it began to rain, soft drizzle filtering through the trees that formed the canopy above them. The ground quickly absorbed the water and even the well trod path that they journeyed along turned to thick mud before their eyes. The Prince and Drum slowed, fighting their way through the quagmire.

'Maybe we should have taken the road,' Raoul admitted, blinking back the rivulets of water that trickled from the top of his head.

They had decided to cut straight across country, a much directer route that should've had the two riders at Steadfast by nightfall. Unfortunately the rainclouds covered the sun earlier than expected, leaving Squire and Knight traversing the blustery forest in near total darkness.

As Kel's eyes strained to make out her surroundings, her heart began to race as several times she wrongly identified oddly shaped rocks or bushes as bandits or Scanrans.

In places the ground had turned so swamp-like that it became hard to tell where the path actually lay. If they weren't careful they'd end up wandering the wood all night.

Finally the trees thinned and they could see flickering torches perched atop Steadfast's fortified outer wall. The two riders broke into a trot that jarred Kel's frozen bones.

'This isn't quite the triumphant return I'd been imagining,' said Raoul ruefully, shaking his head like a dog, his usually curly hair plastered flat by the rain.

Kel agreed through chattering teeth.

'Who goes there?'

'Your commander and his half-frozen squire,' Raoul called up.

'Evening Milord,' the watch-sergeant replied.

Three minutes later the fort's great gates swung open to admit them.

'Should I fetch Sir Douglass?' the sergeant wanted to know.

'No, don't go waking people up,' replied Raoul. 'We can talk in the morning.'

The weary pair led their horses to the stables. Summoning up the last dregs of energy Kel rubbed Prince down and washed the worst of the mud from his elegant legs. She could hear Raoul in the neighbouring stable murmuring softly to Drum.

They collected their packs and trudged to the officer's quarters. Kel had slept in the Rider barracks previously but since more groups had arrived in the North, Raoul had converted a supply cupboard near his office into a room for her. Upon entering the common room they came across Neal, nose buried in a book and sprawled in a chair. Where he'd found the book from Kel didn't know, but she smiled as her friend looked up.

Neal surveyed Raoul and Kel for a few moments before leaping into action. He swiftly relieved them of their sodden packs.

'Boots off,' he ordered, eyeing their mud-coated footwear.

Knight and squire obliged and followed Neal up the corridor, leaving a trail of water behind them. The healer motioned with his hands and in a rare display of power green flames sprang up in the grate, hungrily consuming the logs that lay there. Neal dumped their bags by the hearth and busied himself closing the shutters.

'Dry clothes, now.' Neal bossed in his healer voice. 'I will be back in two minutes.'

Sure enough, by the time Kel had exchanged her sopping outfit for a dry Goldenlake-green shirt and soft hose, Neal had returned. The shirt reached almost to her knees and must surely have been Raoul's at some point.

Neal draped warm woollen blankets around Kel and Raoul's shoulders and pressed mugs of hot tea on them. The brew smelled disgusting but Kel was too tired to argue and gulped it down, scalding her tongue in the process.

'What in the name of Mithros is in that?' spluttered Raoul.

'Something that will stop you two from coming down with the sniffles,' Neal arched his brows.

Raoul drained his glass and shuddered. 'You and Alanna need to work on improving the taste of that.'

'You and Kel need to learn not to ride unprepared into a deluge,' Neal retorted, not dulling his sharp tongue even for his commanding officer. 'Bed.'

Kel bade the two men good night with a tired smile and all but collapsed into bed in her new room. She buried herself in a cocoon of blankets, wriggling around until her nest was warm and comfortable.

Kel's reunion with Dom the next day was a constrained affair, limited to a handshake and smiling eyes. She itched to throw herself into the strong arms of the Sergeant and just for once let someone else deal with the problems of the world.

Kel greeted the rest of her friends in the Own and joined in wholeheartedly with the drills that Raoul put his company through. Following the press-ups and other conditioning exercises, came sprint races and quick, fierce duels with wooden practice swords. Still buoyant from her fight with Alex, Kel won every encounter convincingly. When it came to hand-to-hand fighting however, she was less successful; a young Bazhir managed to knock her off balance and land several blows that Kel knew would leave bruises.

Her life at Steadfast fell into a blissful routine of waking, running, training, taking turns on the watch, eating with the men in the mess and jousting with Raoul. Kel even managed to persuade Neal to fence with her several mornings a week and discovered that four years of training with the Lioness had done his swordplay a world of good. It was testament to how quiet the infirmary was that Neal voluntarily let his younger friend best him again and again on the practice courts.

In the evenings Kel would attend meetings or join Raoul in socialising with some of the other knights and warriors doomed to spend the winter at Steadfast. Later still she would work on her training programme and draw up supply lists that included everything from blonde hair dye to boots designed to muffle the sound of footsteps.

She had not seen or heard a word from Alex or Tor, although a cryptic dispatch from Lord Wyldon spoke of a friend who'd passed through the fort some three weeks after Kel and Raoul had left.

The golden leaves slowly curled and fluttered to the muddy ground, leaving only the dark ever-green firs colouring the landscape. Rides outside the fort became fewer as the weather turned nastier. Rain lashed the fort, often for days at a time, and the general mood amongst the men was glum; it would be another long winter with little to distract themselves from the discomfort of army life.

Welcome news came in the form of a letter to Thayet's dogs, the sixth rider group from. Ros had given birth to a healthy girl in early September and since her return to the capital had been staying in Lalasa's spare room. Although forced to leave the Riders for the duration of her pregnancy, Thayet had put her to work organising the new programme of self-defence classes for women in Corus. She wrote cheerfully that although she missed the rest of her group, she was getting along well in her new job and Stephen was sending her a decent sum from each pay packet to support baby Lynda.

As Midwinter, and the time when she would face the Chamber of Ordeal drew closer, Kel found herself observing the knights of Steadfast with interest. They ranged from young fighters such as Quinden of Marti's hill right up to men greying at the edges, men whose bones had learned to ache with the cold weather.

Despite Conal and his gang of friends whom Kel had learned to avoid, Kel was slowly sensing that perceptions of women fighters were changing. Perhaps the presence of female Riders in the forts had helped, and maybe even Kel herself, beating opposition on the practice courts left right and centre.

Dom's brother Greg was a decent sort, although Kel noted that the two were not particularly close. Whereas her friends in the Own kept themselves mostly to themselves, Kel found herself spending a lot of time with Neal, who joined her on her forays into the mess hall shared by knights and officers.

It was after a late night discussions in which Kel had watched Neal debate hotly with Sir Jeral of Nenan about the imports and exports to Carthak that Raoul sought his squire out.

'I think we've left it late enough' he peered out at the ground, slowly hardening with frost. 'If we ride to Fraslund and catch a ship back to Port Caynn we could be back in Corus within ten days or so.

Kel felt an unexpected thrill of excitement and apprehension. 'I'll get packing.'

Twenty four hours later Kel surveyed her empty bedroom with it's rough wooden furniture. Although she was slightly ashamed to admit it, quite a large part of her was looking forward to returning to the luxuries of the palace. In particular the women's baths where she could soak out the engrained grim of the last few months.

There was a knock on the door and Neal entered moments later, not bothering to wait for permission.

'All set then?'

'Yes, we leave before sunrise tomorrow.'

'I'll say my goodbyes now then,' Neal shuddered, he wasn't a morning person. 'Could I ask you a favour?' He drew out a large, bulky envelope from within his jacket. 'Can you see that these reach Lady Yukimi?'

'Yuki?' asked Kel surprised, as she accepted the bundle of paper. 'I hope this isn't all poetry about her eyebrow or something,' Kel said suspiciously.

'No, no poetry. Well,' Neal amended, 'Maybe a little.'

To Kel's utter surprise Neal was blushing. She'd seen Neal's crushes before. Even as a first year page he'd enjoyed mooning at length over Daine, but there was something different about Neal's sheepish expression.

'You like her,' Kel breathed in amazement, 'You really like her.'

'We grew close on Progress,' Neal explained, seating himself on Kel's bed. 'We've been corresponding ever since and then last Midwinter we began to court. She's the one Kel,' his green eyes were serious, 'I know she is.'

'You never said anything,' Kel accused, almost slightly hurt that two of her close friends had been caught up in a romance that she knew nothing about.

Neal shrugged, 'We haven't really told anyone. When this war starts to wind to a close I'll tell father, then we can start making arrangements.'

Kel was stunned, Neal had obviously been planning betrothal to Yuki for a while.

'I can't believe you never mentioned-' muttered Kel, plonking herself down on the other end of the bed, like they used to sit as pages.

'Hark at you,' retorted Neal. 'You and Dom haven't exactly been forthcoming about relationships.' Kel saw his point and grinned crookedly. 'Maybe there are some things you don't discuss, even with your best friend,' she admitted.

'My point exactly,' drawled Neal. 'I do not want to hear the sordid details of what you and my cousin-'

'Neal!' Kel interrupted her friend, throwing her pillow at him.

Neal raised his arms to protect his face. When he lowered them his green eyes were crinkled in mirth.

'Blushing are we Keladry?'

'I'd be quiet if I were you,' Kel replied airily. 'Or I might just let slip to a certain sergeant about our Yamani friend.'

Neal stuck his tongue out and the pair sat in comfortable silence for several minutes.

'So how are you feeling about your Ordeal?'

Kel looked up in surprise, knights were forbidden to talk about the Ordeal. She shrugged. 'Part of me is terrified,' she admitted, 'but it seems like such a small hurdle compared to...' She trailed off, remembering that Neal wasn't aware of her challenge in the spring. Impulsively, and before she lost the nerve Kel said, 'Neal, after Midwinter I may disappear for a while. I've been given a task, a job to do. I can't really say much more...' she paused, not wanting to look into Neal's concerned eyes.

'You're going back into Scanra.'

Kel inwardly cursed Neal's shrewd intelligence.

'I'm coming,' he immediately volunteered.

'No you can't,' replied Kel. 'This isn't like last time,' she supplied. 'This is official, well, sort of official. But the point is I'm not haring off alone. And you're needed here. There'll be much fighting come Spring.'

'Kel-'

'No Neal,' this time her voice was firm. 'This is something I have to do without you.'

Neal didn't argue but looked disgruntled. Again they sat in silence until a noise on the floor below startled them out of their thoughts.

'Well it's getting late,' Neal got to his feet, followed shortly after by Kel. Kel looked up at her taller friend.

'I wish I could be there when you're knighted,' he said regretfully. 'You're going to make an awful lot of people proud when you lift that shield Kel.'

'Nonsense.'

'No I mean it,' said Neal, deadly serious. 'You do justice to my Lord, Lady Alanna, all of your friends and all those girls who look up to you, who are thinking of trying for their shield, even the Stump.'

Kel's emotions were too great to say anything, so she hugged her best friend, trying to convey her thanks to the man who had taken her under his wing when they were mere first year pages.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Kel released her best friend. Without words to say, she opened the door to find Dom leaning casually on the frame.

'I'll leave you to it,' Neal ruffled Kel's hair with a smirk and left.

Dom hovered in the corridor until Kel gestured him inside. Dom took up the spot on the bed that Neal had occupied moments before, he looked unsure.

'I shouldn't be here,' he explained, in answer to Kel's quizzical look. 'But you're leaving in the morning...'

'Yes,' said Kel evenly, sliding her hand into Dom's larger one.

'I wish I could be there when you come out of that chamber,' he whispered. Kel squeezed his hand tightly. 'I'd be cheering louder than them all.'

'We're just going to have to be apart for a little longer,' Kel spoke softly.

'I know,' he sighed. 'I'm so proud of you, sometimes I just want to let everyone know. My girl, a Lady knight.' He kissed the top of her head softly. Kel let herself be drawn to his chest, softly inhaling Dom's masculine smell.

'It won't always be like this,' Kel muttered into his tunic.

'No,' agreed Dom. 'One day it'll just be you and me, no more wars or politics. Maybe just a few little ones.'

Kel shifted her head so that she could look into Dom's deep blue eyes, and smiled with the sudden realisation. 'Several little ones,' she affirmed.

'If I was allowed to marry, I'd ask you right now,' said Dom huskily. 'I love you Keladry of Mindelan.'

'And I love you too,' Kel replied, pressing a kiss onto the familiar lips. 'And for now that will do.'

'Kel,' Raoul pushed the door cautiously open. The light from the candle he held illuminated two sleeping forms, fully clothed with the smaller curled up against the larger.

'Morning milord,' Dom slurred.

'Er, good morning Sergeant.'

Kel began to stir, slowly wriggling out from under Dom's arm. Her clothes rumpled and her hair tousled, Kel pulled on boots and warm outer clothes whilst Raoul gathered up her packs.

'Let's go,' the huge knight whispered.

Kel gave Dom a departing kiss, brushing his cheek tenderly whilst Raoul pointedly looked the other way, and then she was gone.

As Raoul secured her packs to the waiting Prince and Hoshi, Kel wrapped a scarf around her neck. A mixture of Goldenlake-green and Mindelan-blue, it had been a good-luck present from the rider groups she had bunked with, knitted, Kel suspected by Dana.

Springing lightly into Hoshi's saddle Kel took up the reigns and Prince's lead rope in gloved hands. Without delay both she and Raoul were out on the road again.

Once the sun had risen they stopped for a bite to eat before journeying on. They stopped again for lunch and in the late afternoon for a toilet break. Knight-master and squire ate dinner beneath a starry sky that seemed to stretch forever above them. Despite the lack of rain, or indeed snow, it was still bitterly cold and their breath rose in clouds as they shared stories relating to the twinkling orbs above them. Raoul finished with a tale about a mysterious cat called Faithful who'd followed Alanna around for several years. Something in the description of the feline niggled at Kel's brain, but it wasn't until she was climbing into her bedroll that she remembered; it had been a dream of a purple-eyed cat who'd awoken her at Rathhausak castle after killing Blayce. Unsettled at the thought of divine attention, Kel tried to push the coincidence from her mind and fell asleep thinking about the pair of blue eyes that she loved so much.

It took them another four days of hard riding to reach Fraslund. Most nights they managed to find Inns or lodging houses which was a relief as fat flakes of snow had begun to fall as they travelled ever westwards. On the penultimate night of their journey they'd taken a slight detour into Mindelan where they received a royal welcome from Kel's brother Anders and his family.

At Fraslund itself they came across Alanna, who jubilantly told Kel that she couldn't wait to have a second Lady Knight in Tortall, expressing how Kel had exceeded any hopes she'd had about her successor. It was an emotional evening and by the time Kel boarded the boat with Raoul she was quite relieved that all the goodbyes were over and done with. Now she simply had to survive the Ordeal itself.

Lord Wyldon and a well-bundled-up Owen were waiting for them on deck, having reached Fraslund a couple of days earlier than Kel and Raoul. The horses were stowed away and soon the quartet were nursing hot mugs of tea in a cabin that was rolling slightly this way and that.

'It's going to be a rough sail,' predicted Lord Wyldon, eyeing the sleet that lashed down outside with distaste.

The knight was right, once they'd left the shelter of the harbour the wintery weather pitched the boat up and down as though it were made of driftwood, throwing it's occupants roughly from side to side.

Kel spent a fair amount of time soothing Prince who she knew hated sailing. Unlike Owen, who spent most of the journey trying to sleep away his sea-sickness, Kel wasn't bothered by the constant motion. When it became too much below deck, she enjoyed several hours up on deck, the freezing spray helping to clear her thoughts.

Lord Wyldon was interested to see Kel's plans for her soldiers. He raised his eyebrows when he learnt that Kel's men would train with nothing more than swords, knives and their fists. He was also surprised by the meagre amount of supplies Kel had requested; each man would travel with just a small knapsack of food and a waterproofed canvas sheet.

It would be hard going granted, but this was not waging war as the two lords normally would, with their armoured soldiers, horses, camps and supplies. This was a group of fighters travelling on foot, sleeping rough. Kel knew it could be done. Once the first safe house was reached then the men could be smuggled inside Hamrkeng, disguised. Their weapons and chain mail would be delivered by a different route, smuggled inside deliveries.

With only a few suggestions to make to Kel's strategies, the conversation turned to the diversion the Tortallan armies had been charged to make. Here, Kel bowed to Raoul and Wyldon's genius. They agreed that multiple invasions would be best to stretch the Scanran force thin, although this had to be achieved without compromising the strength of the Tortallan forces.

The diversion would have to be meticulously timed, giving Alex and Kel just enough time without risking too much open warfare on Scanran soil. Knowledge of the invasion would have to be fed to Maggur in advance so that he could mobilise his forces away from the Capital, but without revealing accurate detail so that the Tortallans didn't walk into a trap. The complexities made Kel's brain ache.

Within no time at all their ship had left the clutches of the stormy ocean to sail inland along the Olorun to Corus. They disembarked, thanked the grizzled sailors who'd guided them safely south and began the short ride up to the Royal Palace.

The splendour of the monarch's home seemed all the more evident after years of living in sparse wooden forts. Even through the drizzle the immaculately kept gardens and elegant architecture made for a splendid sight.

Kel and Raoul spilt from Owen and Wyldon and they led their four horses to the nearly deserted stables of the Own.

With only ten days left before Midwinter, Kel seemed to be in high demand. She visited a radiant Lucie, who was overjoyed to have her father, Kel and Owen around for Midwinter. Then there was Lalasa, who insisted upon taking Kel's measurements and making her new Mindelan-coloured tunics and shirts. Kel also had tea with Ros and baby Lynda. Several nights, when Raoul was dining with the King and Queen, Kel supped with her parents, who filled her in on the happenings of the much-depleted court. She had meetings with Baron Cooper and the king, she attended morning glaive practise.

Yuki had been delighted by Neal's extensive letter-writing, although she hid her smile behind her fan. In private she confessed to Kel how hard the waits between Neal's letters were.

Somewhere in between all the socialising Kel found time to go Midwinter shopping and complete a daily swordplay session with Raoul. Their fights always due a lot of attention, particularly from the pages who were meant to be completing their own drills. Kel could spot her nephew Lachran amongst the rabble and also a fiery red-head who could only have been Alanna's son.

On the night before the festival was due to begin Queen Thayet drew the squires names out of a clay bowl, announcing that Kel would enter the chamber of Ordeal on the second night of winter and Owen on the third.

Kel tried to ignore the fear that rose up whenever she thought of the magical chamber. She felt it silly that after all she'd been through the idea of spending a night in a room was causing her such panic. Plenty of other knights had survived hadn't they? But, Kel reasoned with herself, this wasn't an enemy she could best by swordplay. This was ancient, powerful magic who dealt it's own brand of justice. What if it didn't approve of her missing the page training years? What would Alex do if she never emerged from the chamber alive or with a sane mind?

Prosper of Tameran was the first to enter the Chamber. After a sleepless night, Kel was amongst the many who watched him emerge shaken, but unhurt the following morning. As he was supported away from the chapel he offered a weary "good luck" to Kel.

Kel fought the butterflies that plagued her stomach all day. She tried to take her mind off of the looming Ordeal by training for several hours in one of the disused courts, but by lunchtime had to admit that she'd probably be better off saving her strength. She had a light lunch with her parents more out of ritual than anything else; her appetite had fled entirely.

Several of her friends, including Owen popped by to wish her the best of luck. As much as Kel knew they meant well, she really just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Raoul seemed to understand; after all hadn't he once endured the squire's fear of the Chamber.

Kel took herself out into the snowy grounds, fed Prince an apple and let the large geldings solid presence and musky smell comfort her for a while. She then ran up to the wall that surrounded the palace so that she could look out across the sprawling city. She imagined the thousands of midwinter scenes that would be taking place; down in the streets snow ball fights, hot steaming dinners with entire families crammed into one room, laughter and the exchanging of gifts... It seemed a far cry from her lonely vigil on the wall.

Kel let the freezing wind buffet her clothes, until her face was completely numb with cold. She tried to make her peace with the world. It was hard, when she felt that she still had so much to do with her life, to accept the possibility of departing from the realms of the living.

Looking out across the snowy land, Kel clung to the thought that she was doings this for the ordinary people of Tortall, that she would serve them until her dying breath, like countless knights before her. She would set Alex on the throne and in doing so allow fathers and brothers to return from the Northern border. Next Midwinter they too would celebrate with their families.

As the sun sunk lower, Kel trotted back to the palace, the icy air burning her lungs. Keeping a tight reign on her emotions she gathered the clothes she was to wear for the Ordeal; a set of loose-fitting, undyed cotton breeches and shirt. Carefully Kel removed Courage from her waist, feeling vulnerable without it.

Raoul, his face paler than usual, led her to the bath attached to the chapel. Kel slipped inside and scrubbed every inch of herself clean in the lukewarm water. Aware that Raoul and her other instructor were waiting just on the other side of the door, Kel dressed quickly, towelling her hair dry as best she could.

With a deep breath, Kel opened the door to admit Raoul and, to her surprise Lord Wyldon. Raoul hadn't mentioned who her second instructor would be; Kel had trusted him to choose someone sensible. Kel was both pleased and honoured that Lord Wyldon had agreed to help instruct her. It went a little way to show the changing attitudes of Tortall, that the man who had once kicked her our of the palace was now willing to honour her in this fashion.

The two men stood shoulder-to-shoulder, straight-backed and impressive in their knightly garb. Kel couldn't think of two examples who greater exemplified everything knights were renowned for being; honourable, just, men who would do their duty no matter the personal cost.

Kel felt small and shabby in comparison and her fear of the Ordeal was eclipsed by the old longing to do her duty for the Realm, to become even half the knight that these men were.

'Keladry of Mindelan, are you prepared to be instructed?' It was Raoul who spoke first, the age-old words as he himself must've once heard them.

'I am.' Kel was proud of how steady she'd managed to keep her voice.

'If you survive the Ordeal of Knighthood, you will be a Knight of the Realm. You will be sworn to protect those weaker than you, to obey your overlord, to live in a way that honours your kingdom and your gods.' Lord Wyldon's voice was grave, his eyes boring into Kel.

'To wear the shield of a knight is an important thing. You may not ignore a cry for help. It means that rich and poor, young and old, male and female may look to you for rescue, and you cannot deny them.' Back and forth went the instruction.

'You are bound to uphold the law. You may not look away from wrongdoing. You may not help anyone to break the law of the land, and you must prevent the breaking of the law at all times, in all cases. You are bound to your honour and your word. Act in such a way that when you face the Dark God you need not be ashamed.'

'You have learned the laws of Chivalry. Keep them in your heart. Use them as your guides when things are their darkest. They will not fail you if you interpret them with humanity and kindness. A knight is gentle. A knight's first duty is to understand.' Raoul finished. 'You must make no sound between now and the time you leave the Chamber of Ordeal.'

As Kel stepped forward to enter the Chapel, Raoul pulled her close for a hug, kissing her forehead.

'Gods all bless, Kel.'

To Kel's surprise, Raoul's actions were mirrored by Lord Wyldon. Realising with a jolt that she'd never really thanked either of the two men for all they'd done, Kel prayed earnestly that she would have another chance to. She gave a small smile and met each man's eyes, trying to convey some of what should've been said.

Raoul nodded, and Kel turned and entered the chapel of Ordeal. There was a bench facing the Chamber and Kel sat, her bare feet flat against the cold flagstone floor, hands folded in her lap. The flame from the room's single lamp danced and fluttered in the icy breeze. Kel shivered, steam was rising from her damp skin and hair; her cotton clothing was doing little against the winter's chill.

As numbness set in, Kel let her mind wander away from the physical discomfort. She thought of all the knights who'd sat her before her. Hundreds of them, thousands dating right back to the beginning of the Human Era. It was a comforting thought that once Raoul, Wyldon, Neal, Lady Alanna and even the King had once sat before the Chamber to reflect on the code of chivalry. She was just the next in a long line of tradition. Kel thought back to the days when Lady Knight's were commonplace. Maybe a timeless thing such as the Chamber wouldn't think much of her only being the second lady knight in living memory.

Kel thought back to the words of Raoul and Wyldon. She knew the code of chivalry as it had been indoctrinated into her for years, but she'd never heard the formal words of instruction before. Kel was pleased that one of the last things squires were reminded of was that a true knight was gentle, someone who aimed to understand people rather than look down on those who were not outwardly important.

"You cannot ignore a cry for help" these instructions were not specific to the Tortallan people. Alex and his Scanrans were crying out for help, so surely as a knight it was the proper thing to try and help them?

Kel had the vague sense that the Chamber would know what she had planned. If it chose to let her live then surely that was as good an answer as any?

As the minutes flitted past, Kel's thoughts turned to Tortall and all that she had seen. She thought of the splendour of Corus, the quiet fief of Mindelan, the rolling valleys, the autumnal woods, beautiful snowy scenes...But was that really the realm? Or was it pages training earnestly in the courts outside the palace, the camaraderie amongst the soldiers she'd fought with, the bravery of villagers who'd lost everything?

Faces flew before her closed eyelids, images, scenery. She thought of the happy memories; working in the Weir's mill, chatting with Lucie, visiting Lalasa's shop, riding through the countryside with Raoul. How attitudes were beginning to change towards women fighters. Of Ros's defence classes that now ran five nights a week, of the schools that saw street children educated and the Bazhir mingling and accepted by the pale skinned northerners. Kel felt a fierce burn of pride that she'd rarely felt before. This was her realm, one that she would fight to protect, to keep it moving in the right direction. Full of people she'd willingly die for.

A hand touched her shoulder, jerking Kel out of her reverie. The Chamber's door had swung open. Before she even had time to think, Kel's stiff legs were carrying her inside the grey box and the door was shutting behind her.

As it clanged shut, Kel tried to limber herself up, to force some blood into her frozen limbs so that she was as prepared as could be for whatever came next. Moments dragged past and Kel's heart was thumping so loudly she was surprised the whole chamber didn't reverberate with it. She forced her breathing to still. Fear wasn't going to get the better of her.

Slowly, as though emerging from a thick mist, things began to materialise around Kel. A grassy slope, leading uphill to a great stone building. It took a few moments for Kel to place the scene in her memory.

'Come on Kel,' a young, carefree voice called and Kel suddenly saw a young Lucie waving at her from the top of the slope. With a blue-eyed grin she disappeared inside the temple of the Goddess.

The sudden appearance of a her friend in her Ordeal had thrown Kel slightly. Before she had any time to get her head around it however, there was a scream from inside the temple. A scream that had long been stored in Kel's memory. Instinctively she began to run to Lucie, as she did so realising exactly what would happen if she entered the temple.

A second terrified scream pierced the air and Kel didn't hesitate, flinging open the wooden door and running to the aid of her friend. She grabbed the broadsword from above the altar as she'd done over and over in her nightmares. Despite years of training Kel found it just as heavy and un-manoeuvrable as her eleven-year-old self had done. Kel squared off against the Tauros.

The temple door was still open, she could run and save herself from having to relive her nightmare but Kel knew they'd never both make it out. A sickening feeling rising inside her, Kel swung at the beast. It bled, just as it had done eight years ago, glutinous drops spattering the stone floor. However just as had occurred eight years ago the swords massive weight made her slow and predictable. Soon the iron weapon was clattering away, wrenched from her hands.

Horns gorged her chest and Kel's bright red blood spattered the floor as she fell backwards, slamming her head with a sickening thud. Kel closed her eyes, I mustn't scream, I mustn't scream she chanted inside her throbbing head. Terror was threatening to overwhelm her. The beast was pawing at her clothes and Kel realised with horror that she didn't have a dagger hidden in her hair. There was nothing to kill the beast with. She was going to die here. A small tendril of calm fought it's way through the wall of terror, at least it would be over in a couple of minutes, never to be relived in nightmares or daydreams.

Suddenly the presence above Kel vanished and, disbelievingly Kel opened her eyes cautiously. The temple, tauros and Lucie were nowhere to be seen. She sat up. Her shirt was bloody and ripped, but the skin beneath was pale white; just an old scar. Kel got to her feet, fighting the urge to vomit. This is just part of the Ordeal, she remembered. It had all seemed so real, Kel looked at the stone chamber in awe of it's power. Sweat trickled down her back although it was cold in the room. Kel's breathing was ragged.

There were noises coming from a corner, a corner that was no longer a corner but a forest. Horns were blowing and suddenly Kel found herself in the midst of a band of Tortallan soldiers. Faces that she knew jumped out at her; Dom, Quasim, Raoul, Owen, Wyldon, Commander Buri, men of the Own.

'Take charge,' Raoul was ordering her. Kel grabbed a nearby sword in confusion as red-tunic clad soldiers rushed towards them, Alex at their lead.

Kel almost asked "what"? but bit her tongue, hard, at the last moment to stop herself. Scanran forces were ploughing into the Tortallan lines. Alex removed his bloody sword from Owen's stomach.

No, no, no Kel thought, horrified. Her friends were dying all around her. Her brain was frozen with panic; she had no idea where they were, how many Scanrans there were and above all she wasn't allowed to talk. She saw Dom fall, arrows sprouting from his throat and Kel felt like her own heart had been physically ripped out. She couldn't breathe, Dom couldn't be dead, he just couldn't be.

'Fight,' Lord Wyldon roared, shoving Kel into the melee where she came face to face with Alex. She engaged with her blood-brother without thinking, her borrowed sword clashing against his. 'Join us,' he panted, 'Join us or die.'

Tears were streaming from Kel's eyes making it difficult to see. In her mind's eye the vision of Dom falling was being replayed over and over.

'Kill him,' Buri was screaming, 'the longer you prolong this the more people die.'

Out of the corner of her eye, Merric was hacked almost in two. This was slaughter. She wanted to disarm Alex, to knock some sense into him, but the Scanran was too good for her to catch her sword in the right position.

The Scanrans were closing in on Raoul and Wyldon and to Kel's horror Neal was charging into the fight, leading Fanche, Eron and the other refugees. Kel knew what she had to do. An opening came in Alex's defence, an opening that Kel pounced on, driving her sword through Alex's throat. His stunned face, sliding backwards off her sword was imprinted on her eyes, she felt faint with the barbarity of it. Slowly the battle fell away, leaving Kel pounding her fists on the stone floor, silently howling her agony.

Kel felt the landscape change again and almost couldn't bear to open her swollen teary eyes. She wanted this to be over, wanted to simply dissolve with the pain of it all. Dredging up her last, sorry ounce of courage, Kel looked around.

She was lying in a courtyard, a smell of smoke drifting into her nostrils. Bang! There was an almighty explosion and Kel threw arms across her face to protect herself from the searing heat that hit, sucking all the air out of her lungs. Kel scrambled up; lying on the floor was not the best place to be.

Further explosions rocked the world around her. The sky was dark, black projectiles whooshing overhead. The corner of the courtyard to her left took a direct hit and crumbled into rubble. The palace of Tortall was burning. Kel set off at a run, explosions at her heels kept knocking her to the floor. She didn't know which way to turn, it was as though all of Chaos's realm had been unleashed. Great beams that had held up the palace for centuries cracked and were devoured by blazebalm.

Kel turned right and ran along a corridor that she knew led to a servants entrance. If she could just get outside, away from the collapsing, burning buildings, outside to the palace gardens. Her lungs were burning in her chest. She couldn't breathe, but had to keep running, rubble blocked her way back.

Something cracked above her with an almighty boom and chunks of rubble fell, hitting her shoulders, her back, knocking her to the floor as the corridor caved in around her. It seemed to go on forever, the noise and the dust making it hard to draw breath. Kel's legs were pinned beneath a whole mound of rubble. It was completely dark, the small space closing in around her as once again Kel accepted death.

She lay there for minutes, maybe tens of minutes, waiting for the rock that would crush the life from her battered body, but it didn't come. She wiggled, terrified that any movement would cause the beams and rock to destroy her small pocket of air. She managed to get one leg out, although in doing so a large splinter of wood had gouged her leg from knee to ankle. Her second leg came free more easily and she lay panting, curled on her side. She could see a slither of light, but had no way of knowing which debris to attempt to move to get out.

Kel couldn't call for help; curse this Ordeal! She could simply wait to be rescued, but Kel wasn't sure if the Chamber had any concept of time, and it somehow didn't seem like the right option. So, slowly Kel began to dig, clawing at the rubble until her fingers bled. Several small slippages occurred before Kel was able to crawl from what had so nearly been her tomb. Bleeding, dusty and exhausted Kel pulled herself upwards and climbed from a gaping hole in the palace wall out into the early light of a new day.

Down on the lawns Kel could make out shapes. Wearily she scrambled down to see what was to be done. Kel was almost treading on the body before she saw it. Dread filling her heart, Kel rolled the large corpse over. Raoul of Goldenlake lay, lifeless like a crushed insect in the dirt, his eyes open but unseeing.

Kel's knees buckled and she stared uncomprehendingly at the broken body of her knight-master. Without warning figures were closing in around her. Red figures, Maggur's men. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could fight with although the sorrowful rage that filled her would happily have ripped each man limb from limb.

She was dragged to a one of the large palace gardens, passing a carpet of bloody Tortallan corpses. An iron collar closed around her throat and Kel was shoved forward to join a train of slaves. There were hundreds, possibly thousands bound in chains and although the word dissolved the collar at her neck didn't.

She was working a plantation again, weak and starving. Up ahead Kel saw her Mama and Papa, rake-thin and struggling with the hard labour. As she watched a foreman beat the life out of her beloved Mama. Kel had no more tears left. When the foreman whipped her back for stopping work she almost welcomed the physical pain, it distracted her from the agony of her grief.

A new scene arrived, Neal, unkempt and with deadened eyes, using his gift to construct killing devices. Hal and Meah were strangled in front of him and Kel saw Neal, directed by Scanran mages, fastening their white souls to the metal monsters.

'You could've stopped this.' Kel turned slowly to find Lady Alanna, grey and withered, her violet eyes accusing. 'If you hadn't failed none of this would've happened.'

Again the landscape changed, replaced by the streets of Corus, putrefying bodies littering the cobbles outside the dress shop Kel had helped to set up. She couldn't bear to watch Ros and Lalasa being manhandled by Maggur's men; the screams were bad enough.

Kel closed her eyes, sick to the very core. I thought you would be grand, grand and terrible. She told the Chamber. I thought you would teach us, show us the way to be better knights. But this! This isn't real, this is just nightmares, my nightmares. Well, Kel drew upon a strength inside that she never knew existed. I've got many fears, she thought savagely, through tears that blinded her. And you can make me live through them all but I'm never giving up on this. Never.

Her surroundings vanished. She was back kneeling in the cold grey box, sweaty, shaking and weeping silently.

'I see things that were, that are and that may come to pass,' a cold voice whispered on the very inside of Kel's skull. 'Do not let this happen.'

And with those words chilling Kel's very soul, the door to the Chamber of Ordeal opened and she could see people in the chapel beyond. With an almighty effort Kel lurched to her feet and stumbled out of her Ordeal.

So yes, slightly longer than a week, but not by much! And you're lucky, I was so tempted to leave this chapter at the beginning of her Ordeal, but felt another cliff-hanger would've been too mean.

You know the drill - reviews make me HAPPY!

Much love xxx