sorry this is kind of a late chapter, please review for next chapter, happy holidays. :)
TMI characters belong to Cassandra Clare poem to the name at the bottom. Thanks for reading, review! Please!
p.s. this chapter I as I've said about many others, I don't think makes sense in parts, but I hope it flows on with the rest of the story well. Enjoy.
This chapter is in Magnus's POV :D hope it came out okay!
In the shadow of the grave
I will be brave;
I'll smile,-I know I will
E'er I be still;
Because I will not smile
So long a
while.
But I'll be sad, I fear,
And shed a tear,
For those I love
and leave
My loss to grieve:
'Tis just their grief I'll
grieve,
Believe, believe.
Not for myself I care
As forth I
fare;
But for those left behind
Wae is my mind
Knowing how they will
miss
My careless kiss.
Oh I'll be brave when I
Shall come to
die;
With courage I will quaff
The Cup and laugh,
Aye, even mock at
Death
With failing breath.
It is not those who go
Who suffer
woe;
But stricken ones who bide
By cold bedside:
God comfort you who
keep
Watch by my sleep!
'Courage'
by
Robert William Service
Magnus looked around himself at the passing cars on the wet pavement before him, the rain might have stopped but the damp still lingered, as did the cold.
Magnus walked along the sidewalk of the large buildings that loomed over him, casting darkened shadows along the dampened ground, his dark coat he wore causing him to blend into the night as the few passing people passed him looking on as he walked by them.
Pulling the collar of his coat closer around himself, Magnus walked on, as he thought of some of the many places Isabelle might have gone too.
One place he did know he could X off his mental list was the Institute for sure, and possibly the apartment in which they had left not long ago, but he knew if he could think of nowhere else that would be the place he would check.
"Now, now, if I was Isabelle Lightwood where would I go?" he asked himself as he walked on, down the sidewalk, the lights all around shinning as Magnus watched fallen leaves blow by in the cool autumn wind.
"Well," he began, as he still thought of the previous question he asked himself, "If I was Isabelle, I'd have kept myself where I knew it would be safer, but that…is just my opinion,"
Magnus sighed as he shook his head, sometimes he knew he would never understand the modern teenage mind, even though he looked much like one himself, he had lived long enough to know that there were times to run away from things, times to hide, and then times to take a stand, and to him this was one of those times to take a stand.
Of course he didn't quite understand why Simon and Isabelle made such a big deal over all this anyways, if they both wanted each other, then so be it, have each other.
Magnus chuckled to himself, the forbidden vampire-Shadowhunter love was kind of cute, but now that it had been evolved into something more than that, now with Isabelle being of Zaiphien blood, it made things much more complicated then when she was a Shadowhunter and him a vampire, the Daylighter.
Magnus dug his hands deep into his pockets as he stopped at the edge of the curb and looked both directions down the street before he crossed, as he couldn't help but to worry about how Isabelle would get herself out of this one, it was much more complicated than any other situation he had known her to be involved in.
This situation, this rune, it's power Magnus knew, was stronger than anything Isabelle had ever faced, and as he thought now, Magnus couldn't help but to worry that Isabelle would lose the fight to the growing anger, the demon inside, becoming one of the Dark Ones, like the Dark Nephilim that Jonathon Morgenstern, Sebastian was so anchored to creating, Magnus knew that since he had gotten away that no doubt he had created more, and Magnus knew that he was coming, but when was yet to be known, and Magnus knew that when he did he would have an army ready, he wouldn't come without one, he also knew they were in no way prepared for what was to come, none of them could stand against the Dark Nephilim, none but perhaps Isabelle.
Magnus kept his head down, as he tried not to think on the thought, Magnus knew that Isabelle wouldn't be safe if Sebastian knew that she could be the possibly link to his downfall.
He also knew, that even though the Immortal Rune made Isabelle near invincible, as the sins of the seven ran through her veins, in the demon blood in her, that she and Sebastian would likely kill each other before either of them were defeated completely.
Magnus listened to the echo of his boots against the sidewalk, as his breath poured out in puffs of white smoke from his lungs, he knew it was silly to worry about such things as the troubles of Shadowhunters, but he couldn't help it, even if he had vowed to himself never to get involved with them again, just to say goodbye when their lives ended, but he now knew that Simon although not a Shadowhunter, but a vampire just the same, was also immortal, and if they could find no reversal to the rune on Isabelle, she would too, live an immortal life.
Magnus knew it was impossible to teach others the things that would come with being immortal, but he felt it was his duty, his newest challenge to help them, it wasn't often that Magnus met an immortal he actually liked, and even if he tried to hide it sometimes he knew within himself that he liked Simon and even liked Isabelle.
Magnus began walking down the sidewalk again now on the other side of the street, as he thought of the first place to look for Isabelle at, he wasn't sure if it was a good first place to check but he had a gut feeling that the place he had in mind was where she was at, mainly because Magnus knew of the rooftop area for dinning, Isabelle found peace there to think, and that was what she said she needed before she left, was to think.
As Magnus continued toward his destination he let his mind begin to wander, but this time the topic was of Simon's strange dreams he had told him about in the alley before, Magnus knew that the dreams had something to do with the rune on Isabelle, and that whatever the reason be of the dreams and switching of them, it wouldn't be good, because that would mean Isabelle would give into the darkness within herself to go through with it.
Magnus let out a exhale of breath as he dove his hands deep into the pockets of his dark jacket, that was not a topic he wanted to think on or discuss with anyone, although he knew it was as much a possibility as was saving Isabelle, sometimes even the strongest can't fight inner battles forever, and Magnus knew more times than not, giving in is the easiest way to drowned out any kind of pain felt.
Of course, it was never exactly the right thing to do, but from personal experience, Magnus had known what it felt like to want to give up and give into everything terrible that had happened, but somehow in some way he always stayed strong, and he was grateful for that inner strength, that pushed him forward each time, and as he thought on his own inner strength he couldn't help but to pray that Isabelle's inner strength was just as strong, or stronger, because Magnus knew for what was to come she would need it.
The full curse of the rune hadn't been revealed, which meant it could be almost anything and could cause just as much of unknown problems or worse, Magnus was certain the rune wasn't anything to be trifled with, and whoever pushed its image into Clary's mind, knew that and wanted it on Isabelle for a certain reason, but for some reason Magnus couldn't seem to figure out how, or who, although keeping in mind that Sebastian was indeed a prime suspect.
But not even Sebastian could get in his sister's mind, could he? Magnus knew the answer was likely no, but after seeing stranger things in only a matter of weeks, he wouldn't rule it out just yet, at least not until more was known on what actually went down that night, being that he wasn't there, Magnus knew that he had to talk to someone who was, to find out if anything suspicious had happened.
He wasn't likely to get much from Clary, Simon was to upset over Isabelle's death, Alec was out of question, as was likely Jace, so that just left Isabelle, Magnus hoped that when he found her they could have a little chat of their own, before he persuaded her to return to his apartment, before he had to play Dr. Phil to a heartbroken vampire the next morning.
Turning the corner, Magnus looked around himself before he walked forward, the neon lights that blinked above him read: DaemonNite – Downworlder Bar & Coffee Café.
The neon lights of the sign that he knew read differently to mundane eyes lit up his eyes, as Magnus opened the door as the fae bells attached to the door, rung as they echoed around the building, signaling his entrance.
As Magnus stood in the doorway, all eyes turned to see who the new visitor was, and as soon as the occupants realized that no threat had come in, they all one by one or two by two went back to their conversations and drinks before them.
Magnus took in the crowd before him, and kept his collar up to shadow his face, although most Downworlders stuck together in the world, Magnus knew there were still some out there that didn't consider him a friend, and he had no time to run the chance of running into one of them there.
Sliding through the throng of fae and warlocks, and others of the Downworld communities, Magnus listened to the laughter and the chatter of the ones around him, not appearing to take notice of his presence at all, something Magnus liked immensely.
Stepping up to the bar, Magnus looked around himself once more, to be sure he hadn't been noticed, before he caught the attention of a young looking warlock bartender with long purple hair, and small horns protruding from atop her head, her skin a pale color, almost the same color as cream, her eyes matched her hair, but were a few shades lighter, lilac.
Magnus waved her over, as she got done talking to a thick set man, with a forked tongue and lizard eyes that sat at the bar, and by the looks from what Magnus could see, he had had one too many to drink by how he swayed back and forth, as if to music only he could hear.
"May I help ya, sir?" the warlock bartender's voice drawled as she spoke, pretending to wipe up something invisible on the bar between them.
"Yes, in fact I'm looking for someone," Magnus replied as he kept his voice low, the warlock laughed,
"Yeah, sure aren't we all?" she shook her head as she continued to polish the bar,
Magnus raised an eyebrow, as he leaned in closer, causing her to freeze and narrow her eyes as she gazed at Magnus.
"I think you will find that you may want to help me find whom I'm looking for, for you see she is—"
Magnus paused, wondering if it was wise to tell the bartender Isabelle was a Shadowhunter, since he was unsure how Isabelle was identifying herself now, ever since the power of the Divine Rune, she hadn't been using the Angel's runes, Magnus was unsure if she were even able to after becoming Zaiphien, something he knew he would need to look into, so instead of saying Shadowhunter, which Magnus knew most Downworlders still didn't trust, he said,
"She's important to me, and it's important I find her,"
Magnus watched as the warlock lady eyed him, knowing that half his face was in shadow, he was beginning to get frustrated, he had to find Isabelle, and this was getting him nowhere, finally the bartender spoke again.
"How do I know there won't be a fight here, if I tell you anything?" she asked,
Magnus sighed to himself inwardly, and knew the only way he would get anywhere was to reveal to her who he was, maybe then he could get the ball rolling, so leaning closer, he motioned for her to come nearer to, as Magnus noticed her reluctance at first, she obeyed his wishes.
"Now, I'm going to tell you something, you keep it between you and I, yes?"
Magnus watched as the warlock gazed around at the other Downworlders laughing and enjoying themselves before she nodded the reluctance still evident in the frown she wore.
"I am Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and you…" he gazed at the name tag she wore, just noticing it for the first time, "Maecine, are going to tell me where my friend is, if you don't mind."
Magnus flashed a grin, as the warlock, Maecine blinked several times and let out a small gasp,
"Magnus Bane? The Magnus Bane?"
"The only one," Magnus replied, trying not to show his impatience, as she leaned back toward him, and spoke,
"Well, then…in that case I'll do what I can to help, anything, Mr. Bane."
"Please, just Magnus,"
"Magnus," she nodded once, as she looked around before telling him, "Tell me who you're looking for and I'll tell you if I seen her,"
Magnus leaned away from the bar to describe Isabelle, as he too gazed around the room, he couldn't help but to feel as if he were being watched, which was a feeling Magnus hated more than when Chairman Meow would use his favorite chair as a scratching post.
Magnus watched Maecine as he described Isabelle and she nodded a few times when he finished and motioned him to lean back closer.
"Yes, she's here, ordered a double mint cappuccino, house special…"
"Do you know where she is now?" Magnus asked quietly, Maecine nodded, and pointed with her thumb toward a back hall that lead to the upstairs enclosed roof area, where high Downworld society members would hold important meetings and parties, as well as a regular basis place to set and watch the mundane world around.
"Thank you," Magnus told her, as the warlock woman shrugged,
"Anytime,"
Magnus nodded with a grin, as he walked around the bar and stopped to flip a gold coin from his pocket into a Tips jar, gaining a friendly approved smile from Maecine, as he passed onto the darkened hallway.
Magnus took a shallow breath as he passed through a thickened fog of fuchsia and teal faerie smoke that swirled in the hallway, as the back room, beyond the dark stained wood staircase loud music played as Magnus took in the flashing lights of a faerie dance going on, and shaking his head with a smile, Magnus turned to descent up the stairs to the roof area, as he remembered many times he had not only held his own parties, but attended others as well, and gained some fond memories in the process.
Chuckling to himself, Magnus opened the door and stepped back out into the chilled autumn air of the city around, though being in the enclosure of the club's glamour the cold wasn't as intense as it had been before he had arrived, but only a mere chill of the autumn season, Magnus looked around himself as multicolored lights resembling Christmas lights blinked overhead, purple, blue, red, green and yellow, as pale gold ones glowed around the border of the large arbor that hung high over head, vines and other exotic plants no doubt from the fae realm grew at each four corner of the large arbor, as patio furniture were placed in the middle, and the shimmering walls of protection glamour showed all around, enclosing and protecting the chairs and tables from outside weather, and outside influences of mundanes.
Magnus looked around, wondering where the chill of the outside cold was coming from when he gazed over at a shadowed figure standing looking off the top of the building at the cars and passing people below, and as he sighed taking a step closer, there was no denying who it was, with the familiar shock of black hair, in waves down her back, the high heeled boots she wore, and the whole elegance about the appearance even from the back, there was no mistaken that it was in fact Isabelle.
Looking around himself again, not being able to shake the feeling of someone watching, Magnus stepped closer to her, as the lights overhead lit up the silver sheen of Isabelle's hair, to the multi colors of the blinking lights.
Magnus stopped a few feet behind her and opened his mouth to speak, when she did before he could,
"I figured you'd find me here," she said, her voice a whisper, Magnus remained silent, as he thought of what to say, and finally he spoke, his tone neutral.
"How'd you know I was here?" he asked her, as Isabelle turned her head to look at him, her skin a pale white, much to pale Magnus thought, to be Isabelle but yet she was, and he knew it had to be the rune causing the flushed colorless look to her skin, her dark eyes however, still held the same fierce spark, they always had.
"I heard you," she told him, her lips barely moving as she formed the words, her voice holding a saddened tone to it.
"Heard me? I wasn't aware I was making that much noise," Magnus told her playfully, trying to lighten the mood, if ever so slightly.
Isabelle shook her head, as both her hands wrapped around the hot drink she held, as if to keep them warm from the cold pouring in around them.
"You weren't, I guess my hearing and other senses are more sensitive now, in fact I know they are I could hear almost everything going on in the Institute when I first had arrived there, not much was going on but I could hear, almost everything, even the smallest sounds…"
Magnus listened as she let her voice trail off, before he stepped forward to stand not but two feet from her, unsure what he could say to make things better, but knowing he had to try anyways, not only for Simon's sake, but for Isabelle's own sake.
Magnus listened carefully to Isabelle's shallow slow breathing, as she spoke again, the question asked, taking Magnus for a loop, as he pondered how exactly he could answer her, without being his usual sarcastic witty self.
"Do you believe…" she began, taking a breath as she turned to face him slightly, her face lit up by the lights that glowed around them, making it seem more like the Christmas season other than Halloween which was right around the corner, Magnus watched Isabelle patiently as she took a small breath and continued, as if she were getting her thoughts in order, "Do you believe, that people, ones like me should get our own happy endings? Do you believe that we, that we deserve to be happy? That I deserve to be happy?"
Magnus paused for a moment, as he thought of a profound answer to give her, some kind of answer that Isabelle would like to hear, an answer that would make everything all better, but Magnus couldn't think of anything, he couldn't think of any answer that would make the situation better, or make what had happened better with just words alone, so he settled for a simple answer,
"Well, yes," Magnus answered, calmly, as he watched Isabelle turned around fully facing him now, her eyes shining and wide,
"Then why does it not feel like I should? Why does everything bad always have to happen?" she demanded, her voice stiff, her posture stiffer, as she faced Magnus, who gazed at her with saddened eyes, unfortunately, he didn't know the answer, so he shrugged slowly and replied,
"I honestly, don't know, Isabelle, I just don't know."
Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand Isabelle exhaled a breath before she turned back to gaze at the lights, Magnus too took his gaze from her form before him and gazed out at the lights of the city that never slept.
Taking a breath, Magnus watched Isabelle, the lights from above them shinning down in her black hair, making it appear to have a shine of silver and gold as he watched her breathe, her back to him, when he decided she wasn't going to speak again, he knew the only way to get her to talk, was if he spoke first.
"Is this about the rune, or about Simon?" he asked calmly, his voice holding a quiet tone, when he saw Isabelle move and he realized she was laughing, even if it was slightly, and she said only one word,
"Both,"
Magnus watched, his cat eyes taking in Isabelle as she turned to face him again, but this time she didn't hide the tears that ran down her face, she didn't try to suppress her emotions as Magnus had known her to do many times before.
Usually, Magnus would've said something sarcastic, but it was something about the fierce Shadowhunter before him, something about how he knew Isabelle never to break down, but seeing her broken and shattered, that made Magnus know that it wasn't the time for sarcastic comments, when someone as strong and powerful as Isabelle was, had finally broken her shield to hidden emotions.
Magnus watched as Isabelle touched her face, the streams of tears making her appear more like a little girl then a young woman, and when she brought her fingers away damp she grimaced.
"I can't believe I'm crying…" she breathed, her tone sounding angry as if at herself,
"It's okay to cry," Magnus told her, as she looked over to him, and shook her head,
"No," she told him softly, "It isn't, it shows weakness…powerlessness… it shows everything I've hidden…"
"It shows you have heart," Magnus told her, his eyes glowing, as Isabelle looked at him shocked at the fierceness of his tone, a tone that Magnus rarely used.
Magnus watched her and continued, "It shows you're not the heartless cold person you try to make everyone believe you to be, but I've never believed that, so if you must cry in front of someone, you can cry in front of me, because I know what you truly feel."
Isabelle remained silent and turned her head away from Magnus again, when she spoke,
"He told you didn't he?"
Magnus opened his mouth to ask Isabelle who she meant, when she turned back to him and before he could speak she said emotionless,
"Don't ask who, I know you know, the question is why do you care?"
Magnus pursed his lips and stepped back one step and eyed Isabelle when he spoke, his eyes taking in the memory of the moment, one he knew he might revisit eventually, years from that very second, when everything was gone, and he and selected few remained.
"Simon told me some yes, he even wanted to come find you, but I told him you'd more likely talk to me instead."
Isabelle raised an eyebrow, "What makes you so sure on that?"
"You're talking aren't you?" Magnus cracked a grin, as Isabelle shook her head,
"What is the point?" she turned to face him fully, the golden and multicolored lights around them on the roof lighting up her face, turning the dark of her eyes the many different colors as they blinked around them, the steam from the cup she held blew by her face, making an air of mystery masking her features in the cool air.
Magnus held his arms out slightly with a small shrug of his shoulders he said, "The point is, I care, I do care why, I'm not sure myself since I've been through this before, but the point is, I want to help God knows why I should even bother, all I get is a bunch of nonsense for ever meddling in Shadowhunters lives, but I can't seem to help myself,"
Magnus looked back at Isabelle, whose expression was a cloud of confusion,
"What does this have to do with me, the rune or Simon?" she asked,
Magnus rubbed each side of his head with two fingers, as he looked back at her,
"It doesn't, but if I do recall, you did ask why I care, so I was telling you,"
Isabelle sighed, and mumbled what sounded like, "whatever,"
When Magnus shook his head and continued, "There isn't much we can do about the rune Isabelle, we're all scared on what it may mean, we all have no idea what it might mean, but the truth is you pushing everyone away is going to make it worse, don't act like you're the only one that is remotely in pain."
Isabelle turned her face back toward Magnus and looked at him, her eyes narrowing as she clenched her jaw and finally, Magnus saw it in her eyes, the moment where everything burst, and her emotions came tumbling out,
"Not the only one in pain? I'm the only one with this thing on me! And never mind that, but it's messing with my emotions, I've never felt the want the need to do half the things I want to now, I've never felt this power, this strength in me…the want to run, to hunt, to kill as much as now, of course I felt like that before, but only with demons, now it seems I want to rip apart whatever I get my hands on!" she shrieked, as the contents in the cup she held sloshed with her movements, as a splash of hot liquid bounced out of the lid and collided with the ground below, Magnus watched and smirked, when she paused, her eyes still narrowed.
"That's the demon blood in your veins, something you won't likely ever get used to," Magnus told her calmly, not losing the calm that he held onto.
Isabelle shook her head, the shine in her eyes he knew were tears threatening to spill over again,
"I don't want to be a demon! I don't want this!"
"Do any of us want any of this?" Magnus demanded, keeping his calm as best he could, "Do any of us want half of what happens, Isabelle, answer me that!"
Isabelle paused and looked away shaking her head as she looked down, and Magnus saw the splash of a tear, collide with the ground, mixing with the pale brown liquid of the cappuccino that was spilled moments before.
Magnus watched, as he listened, when she spoke again, calmer now,
"I don't understand…"
"Nobody understands," Magnus told her, as she looked up to him, her eyes wide again, and Magnus knew she was holding back, as she always did.
"If it's the demon in me, why don't you ever feel that way?" she asked him,
Magnus watched her and answered, with a sigh, "I never said I didn't feel that way, but nobody has ever asked…"
Isabelle remained silent, as she processed his words, and then replied, slowly, "Well…do you?"
"Sometimes," Magnus admitted absently, as if he were trying not to remember all that much, "That's one of the not-so-good-things about being part demon, the blood causes changes different from humans, different from Nephilim."
Isabelle nodded, as she turned to look at the city again, Magnus watched her calmly as she stood still and quiet, the only visibly that she were alive was the slight rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, and the slow steady beat of her heart, Magnus waited watching for several minutes when Isabelle began to speak again,
"I'm trying to stay strong…" she said, so quietly Magnus had to lean in to hear her muffled words, "I know I can, I always have been, but this rune, this intense feeling of the seven sins, some are stronger than others, lust, wrath, envy… It's hard to stay strong, it's hard to fight the feelings when they change so quickly, and I get so confused, and I don't understand what I'm feeling from one moment to the next, but I do know…Simon…Simon helped me feel like me, but then…now I don't think he will…"
Magnus watched her as she turned slowly back around to face him, her expression unreadable, but the tears, the sadness was still evident in her eyes, although Magnus knew she was trying to hide it,
"I couldn't tell him, I couldn't find the words, I can never find the words, and so I wanted to show him how much he meant to me, I wanted him…I thought he wanted me too…"
Magnus listened as she laughed once; it held no humor, "So much for that."
Magnus shook his head, as Isabelle caught notice of it,
"What?" she asked him as he laughed, but his chuckle did hold humor,
"He was frightened," Magnus told her, looking at her, as her expression was confused again,
"Frightened?"
Magnus nodded, "Yes. I'm not sure I'm supposed to be telling you this, but he has no idea what to do in that department, he doesn't appear to have a lot of confidence in himself, he said you intimidate him."
Isabelle watched Magnus, and Magnus saw her turn from him for a second before she turned to face him,
"He's scared of me?"
Magnus saw the thought seemed to hurt her, and he was quick to clarify what he meant,
"No," Magnus began, shaking his head, "He's not scared of you, he's scared of the appearance of knowing what you were doing, he was scared of the confidence you appeared to have, when he has none when it comes to sexuality."
Isabelle furrowed her eyebrows, when Magnus laughed, causing her to look at him again,
"So…" she began, her voice quiet, "He didn't say no because he…didn't want me that way? But because, he didn't know what to do?"
"Exactly," Magnus told her, and as he did he finally realized how psychiatrists felt, he had the feeling he could have his own TV talk show, The Helpful Warlock Show, with your host Magnus Bane.
He could see the taglines, "Have Problem with Your Date? Is your Date a Young Geeky Vampire? No problem! Come to the Helpful Warlock Show to get ALL the Answers!"
Magnus smirked to himself, trying not to chuckle aloud, as a deep sigh coming from Isabelle, snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked to her.
"Something else wrong?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow,
"No…I mean, yes….I mean," Isabelle closed her eyes taking a breath, as Magnus kept his eyes on her, and she continued,
"Yes, I don't know what to do, about my emotions, I don't know how to express feeling, I don't know how to be nice, and I don't know how to be sincere…"
Magnus sighed, "Then don't."
Isabelle looked at him, her expression unreadable, as he turned his head slightly to take in the look in her eyes, as the red lights above them, shone in her dark eyes, lighting them up red as Magnus suppressed the worried expression he felt tugging at the corners of his subconscious, as in those few short moments, the demon in her shone through, just as it did in Jonathon.
"Don't?" Isabelle asked, her voice trailing off as she said the word, and Magnus nodded,
"If you're not sure how to express your emotions, you can't force it, have to let it come naturally, let yourself want to show them, let them out…"
Isabelle watched Magnus, as he kept his eyes on the dark of her own eyes, now lighting up with the golden lights above, softening her expression reminding Magnus that despite the demon, and despite all, Isabelle still had angel in her, the part she was born with, even if she had never showed it in the past, he knew that someday it would shine through, and he hoped that the day didn't come too late.
Isabelle smirked, noticing Magnus watching her, as she spoke her voice holding a hint of humor,
"Why are you giving me advice when you couldn't even express your own feelings to my brother?"
Pausing, Magnus turned away slowly, shaking his head, as he closed his eyes and took a step forward away from Isabelle, maybe there was no helping her, maybe he was wrong about the angel within, maybe she had always been full demon by the acid she used in her tone anytime Alec came into the conversation, but just as Magnus had turned to walk away, turned to tell Simon he had failed, something that even surprised Magnus happened.
"Magnus, wait!"
Isabelle's voice as she called his name shattered breaking at the end, as he turned back toward her, as he saw she moved forward, toward him, but as he turned and saw the flushed flesh of her face, the darkened eyes, he could see she was breathing significantly heavier, as he opened his mouth to speak she stopped him, speaking over him.
"Don't please, don't go…yet"
Magnus closed his mouth watching her, as she blinked several times before she looked up to the lights above as if she were focusing on something else, something other than what was happening, Magnus didn't like the look of what was going on, and he spoke,
"Isabelle, what is going on? Are you okay?"
He watched as she held still, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, the dim glow of the rune was visible through the clothes she wore.
"No…" she breathed as she looked back at him, and formed the words, "I'm sorry… about bringing up Alec…I…your right when you said that I didn't know what happened, but what hurts him, hurts me… I love my brother."
"I know." Magnus told her before thinking, as Isabelle gazed at him, confusion and pain crossing her features, as she let out a startled cry, and Magnus watched as everything seemed to slow, he watched as the cup Isabelle held fell from her hand, the liquid although still steaming wasn't as hot as it had been moments ago fell toward the ground as Isabelle fell to her knees, the glow of the rune turning red as Magnus frozen in place watched, unsure what to do, even in his many centuries of living he had never seen what was happening, and nothing prepared him for it either as he stood, feeling useless, despite having heard brief stories of the Zaiphien and their struggles within, he never thought he'd see it happening before his eyes.
The cappuccino Isabelle held spilled across the ground near her, as she stayed on her knees her hand moving to steady herself as she placed it on the cool ground of the patio, at the edge of the creamy liquid that Magnus noticed was mixing with the red of blood, as he saw Isabelle's form jerk painfully a few times her skin turning pale, flushed, translucent and almost sickly in the lights above, as Magnus fought to keep out the startled gasps coming from the young Hunter in front of him.
Hunter, Magnus thought was a better term that fit Isabelle now, although Shadowhunter no more, she was still a hunter at heart, and by the looks in psychical form as well.
Magnus knew, that this new problem arising from the rune, would cause more grief then there was already, being a Zaiphien, the demonic, seraphic, and mundane sides were all at war within, causing everything inside Isabelle to collide when she got scared, worked up, or overly worried, and now Magnus knew why Tessa had said it was important to keep her emotional levels as calm as possible, the inner beast of the demonic side, was trying to let itself free, something, Magnus knew would result very badly to those that cared about her, and those she cared about as well.
Magnus watched, unsure of how to help her, as several minutes passed where she remained unmoving aside from her
breathing, that slowly and gradually returned to normal pace, Magnus watched as Isabelle's skin began to change, from the sickly pale colorless transparency of demon skin to her own skin tone, the glow of the rune on her shoulder, returning to the usual colors as the glow dimmed, to near invisible, as Magnus watching her carefully stepped forward, when she lifted her head, and he saw the fresh tears in her eyes, and the red flush, feverish on her cheeks, as she pushed her long dark hair back away from her face, and the curtain it had formed around her.
Magnus watched her with saddened worried eyes, as he saw the lines of red on her chin, from her bottom lip, as her teeth sliced through the soft skin there, becoming razor sharp as the demon took form.
"What…is happening to me?"
Magnus hasn't heard words spoken for what seemed like hours, when he knew in reality it had only been several minutes, but as Isabelle spoke the words, although her tone sounded confused and even scared, although Magnus knew well, Isabelle would never admit it, but despite those feelings Magnus felt in her words, there was also hatred, anger, and determination, a determination everyone knew Isabelle had within her, to fight.
Magnus looked around, even though not quite sure as to why, being they were alone, he still did maybe if only to clear his head before he gazed down at Isabelle, who stared straight ahead still on her knees, her hands in fists on her legs as he answered,
"You're emotional level reached its peak, now we know what happens when it does…"
Isabelle looked up at him, her eyes unreadable, her expression bank,
"What did happen?" she asked him, her voice quiet and low,
Magnus blinked at her, and replied, "We told you, you're a Zaiphien now, Nephilim and Nephalem, angel and demon, when the emotions run to high, we weren't sure what would happen, but now we know…the demon within tries to take form,"
"Tries?" Isabelle's voice reached a few octaves higher as she tried to stand, but found her legs to whopply as she reached to grab part of the trellis that encircled them, and pulled herself halfway up in a standing position.
"Yes," Magnus told her, "It didn't fully manifest, because you calmed down, but next time if you don't figure out how to control your emotions even a little, might not be so lucky."
"So what am I, possessed now?"
"I don't know."
"What do you know?" Isabelle demanded an answer, as Magnus eyed her,
"I know that you're just going to get worse unless you learn some kind of acceptance, how do you think I feel seeing you this way? How do you think Simon feels?"
Magnus watched as she froze at another mention of Simon's name, and in that second he knew, that Simon was the only hope for Isabelle, his love and caring would be the only cure, Magnus knew it as he saw Isabelle instantly relax at the sound of his name, although stiffened, Magnus could hear the increase of her heartbeat, now he had to get her to admit that she too believed, Simon could help her, if only she'd let him.
"Well?" he continued, waiting for her answer,
Isabelle looked fully at Magnus as she leaned against a chair on the patio, struggling to keep her balance as she gazed down as the spilled liquid on the ground, before she frowned and said casually,
"I can never let Simon see me like that…"
Magnus shook his head as he realized just how hard it would be to get Isabelle to admit she needed Simon, that they needed each other.
"Simon cares about you, Isabelle; he cares a lot, why can't you see that?"
Isabelle looked away, but didn't answer at first, as Magnus waited, he refused to speak until she gave an answer, and after several minutes, she did answer, and it wasn't an answer he had expected.
"It's not only because I'm afraid of giving away my heart, but now with this, what if I kill him? What if I hurt him?"
Magnus watched as she stood wide eyed, not facing him and not facing the city before them, but just staring off into nowhere, deep in thought.
Magnus knew how to answer the question she asked, and he did before her emotions could begin to spike again, he wasn't sure what had happened moments ago, he wasn't particularly sure what kind of demon was within her, but one thing he knew for certain was he didn't want it to take over Isabelle, and he'd prevent that from happening, as much as he could.
"You won't hurt him," Magnus told Isabelle quietly, and with his words she turned her head to face him, her eyes lighter than moments before, the gold flecks light up with the lights above, as she looked at him, her expression softer, almost childlike.
"How do you know?" she whispered,
"I don't know for sure," Magnus began, and paused as Isabelle watched her expression void as he continued, "But I do know, Simon believes in you, and I believe in you to get through this."
Isabelle sighed deeply and closed her eyes as she let go of the trellis she held onto, her frame still unsteady but steady enough she could stand without holding onto it any longer.
Magnus watched her open her eyes, and look at him, head on this time,
"How do you know I will get through this? When we know almost near nothing to what is happening? How does anyone know I'll make it, that I can possibly ever be me again."
Magnus shook his head, as he saw in her expression fighting off her emotions again, and he knew he had to think fast before her emotions ran much too high again.
"That's where you're wrong,"
Isabelle gazed at him, confused, "Wrong?"
"Yes." Magnus began, his cat eyes locked onto her, "We might not know much, and you may be different, but you are still yourself Isabelle that is what we've been trying to tell you, yes you're different, yes it can be dangerous, but what in your life hasn't been dangerous?"
Isabelle looked down at her feet, and Magnus knew she hadn't thought of it, being so worried about what was to happen, what could possibly be, she hadn't fully realized not much had changed from her life of death and destruction as a Shadowhunter, her life was still full of danger and mayhem, as Magnus knew it probably always would be.
"Is it all too much to ask for something not dangerous for once?" Isabelle asked Magnus looking up at him, her eyes wide and bright, Magnus couldn't tell at first if it were from the lights or tears again, but didn't dwell on the thought to much as he answered again,
"Yes," he replied, "In a way it is too much to ask, once a Shadowhunter or in the Shadow World, there's not going back Isabelle, don't you remember any of your training?"
Magnus couldn't help but to smirk, to try and cover his concern for her, out of all of the Shadowhunters he had met, Isabelle had been one of the most that was content with being what she was, happy even out on the hunt, but he supposed even someone like her eventually had a breaking point where they saw all their life's work as nothing but past hopelessness and Magnus felt that this might be one of those times.
He gazed at the young hunter in front of him, as she wiped her face across the sleeve of her shirt before looking at Magnus, locking her eyes with his, when she replied, her voice firm and held a cold edge to it that Magnus almost detected immediately.
"I remember pretty much everything I've been taught, but that hasn't stopped me from bending, breaking and ignoring rules of the Clave, you Magnus should know that being what I am now, goes against everything the Clave say they stand for, why should I care about the training I've learned as a Shadowhunter when I am not longer apart of them?"
Magnus was taken aback, as the words left her lips; he raised his eyebrows when she continued,
"I'm dead to all of them now, and even if they found me to be alive, what's to say that they won't try to kill me again? That is what I've said from the beginning, and it scares me to know that it's possible that I could be locked up in the Silent City, until they decide what to do with me…"
Magnus looked around, having the same feeling of being watched, before he sighed and looked back to Isabelle, he wasn't sure how the conversation had steered away from the importance of him trying to get her to admit she needed Simon to her now former Shadowhunter life, which Magnus knew if she truly wanted to fight for it, and he knew deep down she did, she could and would likely be a Shadowhunter again, Magnus now was beginning to see that Isabelle was going through random thoughts in her mind, she was getting things out off her chest, even if they didn't seem to make much sense, he was glad she had trusted him enough to tell him half of what she did, even if she hadn't realized she said what she had.
Sighing and noticing that Isabelle now held her head in her hands, no doubt hiding her breaking point of tears again, Magnus took a step forward causing Isabelle to look up, and without looking directly at her, Magnus opened his arms, causing Isabelle to look at him with a confused look, and realizing she didn't get what he meant, Magnus stepped forward, watching as Isabelle stumbled toward him, and tripped landing into his opened arms.
Magnus wrapped his arms around her shorter form, as he felt her shake against him, and he realized she really was crying.
"Shhh, whatever is on your mind now, I'm sure it's nothing," he whispered, holding her to him in a protective embrace.
"I don't like any of this, this dreaded emotion crap, is this my curse? To be whiny and annoying forever, that'll get on everyone's nerves fast." Isabelle said with an ounce of annoyance in her voice; as Magnus laughed, and looked down to see her looking up at him.
Her eyes were bright, and held confusion as she sighed and looked away, a few tears still falling from her eyes, when Magnus answered her.
"No, I think it's part of the curse, your emotions run ultra high because of it, and anything normal feeling like being sad turns to despair, anger turns to rage, it's intensified that is why you're like this, remember?"
"Yeah." She replied softly, against him, "I remember…"
Magnus listened to her voice trailing off, as he loosened his grasp on her and leaned back to look at her,
Isabelle looked up at Magnus, confusion still in her expression, when she asked a question that Magnus knew she tried hard to make sound serious.
"So…this is very awkward, you're not like trying to make me fall in love with you or something are you? Because if you are, it's not going to work and also, be way to weird with me and my brother and-"
Magnus chuckled, causing Isabelle to cut off her words in mid-sentence and look at him, her mouth twitching.
"No," Magnus began, palms forward in defense, "Maybe in your dreams you can be in love with me, but I see you as more of a sister, part of the family I've never had, never have had the chance to have and probably won't ever again…"
Magnus let his words trail off, as he flicked his eyes back to Isabelle who stood just inches in front of him, he swallowed hard, thinking about his own words, they were true, as much as he hated to admit it to himself, just as Isabelle hated admitting she loved Simon or even had the need to cry sometimes, Magnus hated admitting he had always been alone in the end, sure he had relationships, he had had friends, he had had many adventures with people he met, liked, even loved, but it never lasted and he hated that feeling of knowing that even if you care about something enough, care about someone enough it will eventually end, immortal or not, things weren't meant to last because even immortals had a bit of the dying mortality in them, when it came to relationships that were as mortal as could get, because they always died in the end, lost their spark, their meaning, friendships became void, relationships became nothing, and in the end, yourself was all you would have.
Magnus had felt his own pain and sadness welling up in him, when he felt an embrace around him and turned his head to see that now it was Isabelle that held him in her arms, and he couldn't help but smile half-heartedly, even as she spoke the words that he heard next.
"Although I love Alec and Jace as my brothers, I guess there's room for one more…And besides, I'm glad you feel only sisterly love toward me, because if it was anything else, no offence but it would be too weird."
Magnus laughed, and agreed, "Yes, that I agree would be weird, anyways you and Simon make an adorable couple."
With that, Magnus felt her release him from her hug and laugh without humor,
"Yeah I suppose that's an accurate reason," she said sarcastically,
Magnus raised an eyebrow as he looked at her, "It is accurate you two just ooze cute cuddly couple,"
Isabelle smirked and shook her head, causing Magnus to laugh, as Isabelle still unsteady on her feet sat down on a nearby bench, Magnus following suit, watching as the white cloud of swirled around them when Isabelle sighed deeply.
"What's wrong?" Magnus asked her, as Isabelle shook her head a small cold smile on her lips when Magnus watched her, and she took another breath when she spoke again.
"With this rune, I'm immortal right? It's the Immortal Rune the rune of the Undying, where is there any possible way Simon and I can have a future being both immortal? Have you ever had any successful relationships with other immortals?"
Magnus watched as Isabelle looked at him for answers, and taking a breath Magnus replied,
"Oh boy, what a topic," and with a laugh he looked back to Isabelle, who didn't seem to appreciate the humor, but had a serious expression of wonder and want of answers on her face.
Magnus sighed and began talking, as truthful as he could he began with similar to what he told Simon before,
"I have had some good relationships with other immortals yes, do they last forever? Rarely, I've only met maybe two other immortals that were a couple that have stayed together for almost their whole existence, it isn't impossible to be together when your immortal, it's just undying you eventually can get tired of each other, and the spark that drew you together starts to disappear."
Magnus paused to look at Isabelle who was leaned over, her arms resting on her legs as she stared ahead, her black hair hanging down in waves on either side of her pale face, her eyes holding no hint of the emotion she were feeling in that moment, so Magnus continued.
"Being immortal isn't easy, as I've told others before, just because your immortal doesn't mean you're immune to feeling, you'll lose people you love, you'll hate yourself for mistakes you make that you can't take back, you'll get lonely, you'll do stuff you'll regret, it's a learning experience, it's not something you can just learn and accept overnight, but if you want to survive in the world of demons and other bogeymen lurking around corners, you have to begin with a little bit of acceptance to new life,"
Magnus watched as this time Isabelle looked over at him, her eyes still not holding any certain emotion, but Magnus knew by the look she had given him that she would begin to understand, and he hoped that she chose to begin her accepting that if they couldn't find any cure for the rune on her, that she was looking to a long, long time ahead of her, and although Magnus knew Isabelle didn't want to be immortal and never had, she might not have a choice.
"That's only if we can't figure out how to get this dreaded thing off me?" Isabelle asked quietly, causing Magnus to smile mostly to himself, happy that he nearly predicted what she was going to say.
"Yes, only if we can't find a way to take the rune off of you," Magnus nodded confirming her question as she nodded once too and looked away gazing ahead again, but she wasn't finished with her questions and the next one, did surprise Magnus, but he wasn't sure why it had, but it did.
"Once the rune is gone, I will be too right?" Isabelle asked, not looking at him as she flipped her long hair over her shoulder, "I'll die again?"
Magnus looked over at Isabelle as she turned her head slightly, just enough to where her eyes rested on him, and Magnus swallowed, thinking about the conversation he had had with Simon, before he closed his eyes and nodded, and replied with a simple and soft,
"Yes."
He opened his eyes just in time to see the slight look of pain cross Isabelle's face, but it came and went so fast, he wasn't fully sure he had actually seen it, and before he could ask she spoke again, her voice quiet.
"I never wanted this, never wanted to be immortal…"
Magnus listened to her pronounce each work carefully, before he replied,
"Not even if you could?"
Isabelle shook her head, "No, not even if I could."
Magnus watched her turn to face him, her expression unreadable,
"I never thought Simon and I would last, I in fact knew we wouldn't that immortality would get in the way, but I never had thought about it, not much anyways, a few times I did, but I never felt it was something I'd want," she began with a pause, before she finished, "I don't want to be a vampire."
Magnus looked over at her, and nodded, "No, most Shadowhunters don't ever think about becoming a Downworlder—"
Isabelle shook her head, cutting off Magnus's words as he watched her in confusion,
"It isn't that, I mean yeah sure, my parents don't approve of my knowing Downworlders or more appropriate to say dating them, but it isn't being a Downworlder that puts it off in my mind, sure I don't want to be a Downworlder, I never have, but it's more than that…it's like you said, rarely do immortals stay together, and I'd rather be remembered for my time here, instead of being forgotten because we got tired of each other, I don't want to wander eternity being lonely, with memories of things before, of meeting others that are mortal and watching them die, I can't do that."
Magnus sighed, causing Isabelle to snap her head around to look at him, as he shook his head,
"No," he began, "It isn't something I'd recommend to anyone, or wish on anyone."
Isabelle watched him speak and replied herself, "How have you gotten by so long?"
Magnus shrugged, "Luck, inner strength that I somehow know, believe that although I'll miss who I've lost, who I've grown to care about, that maybe someday it'll get better?"
Isabelle looked away with a humorless laugh, "If only that were the truth,"
Magnus laughed and nodded in agreement, "Yes, but I'm still waiting for the day, maybe I'll find other immortals that feel like I do and we can start our own Immortal Therapy group."
Isabelle grinned, "Yeah I can see that going over well,"
"It could be a big hit," Magnus argued with a laugh,
Isabelle laughed too, and Magnus was glad the mood had begun to lighten, last thing he needed was Isabelle's demon to try manifest again in the peak of her emotions, and even knowing that some sadness and confusion still clung to her mind, Magnus knew it wasn't as bad, as he put his arm around her shoulders, causing Isabelle to set up straight and look at him.
Magnus gazed back, and spoke,
"Well, this has been great, all the talking the anger, tears, confusion and more confusion, but I think it's about high time we get back to the apartment, yes?"
Isabelle looked away from Magnus with a sigh before she nodded, "Yeah, I guess so."
Magnus nodded and stood up, helping Isabelle to her feet as she looked around her eyebrows knitting together.
"Something wrong?" Magnus asked,
"I don't know, do you feel like something is watching us?" she asked quietly, as she turned to see Magnus nodding,
"Yes, and I'm not too sure if I want to find out who it is, being the two demons from earlier, or something much worse…"
"I'm too exhausted to care." Isabelle replied with a small yawn as she let Magnus lead her away from the bench, the lights above them, and the city before them back toward the door that lead back into the Downworlder café and bar.
"Then it is time we get back, and get some rest, who knows what the morning may bring." Magnus told her as she nodded,
"Don't remind me, I don't want to find out,"
Magnus laughed as he helped guide Isabelle down the stairs toward the Downworld cafe they were, Isabelle stayed close by to Magnus as they entered the main dining room and bar of DaemonNite
Café, all eyes turned to watch them as they walked through, and Magnus noticed that the warlock from earlier that helped him locate Isabelle also stopped to stare.
Magnus looked to Isabelle who looked around herself, and Magnus could tell by the expression on her face, it was in annoyance, and Magnus couldn't help but get the feeling that they were circus animals, to be looked upon, as he opened the door for Isabelle to leave out of first, before he paused to look around the café, as just like before the warlocks, faeries and others in the room began talking again, as Magnus caught eye of Maecine as she waved with a smile and called,
"Come again soon, anytime."
Magnus returned the gesture and waved with a small smile, before saying, "I'm sure we will," and turning away from door that's bells rattled signaling their exit, Magnus stood on the sidewalk next to Isabelle in the chilled night air, as they began to walk, Isabelle holding a smirk in place as she motioned back to the entrance and said,
"Who was that?"
Magnus grinned and looked next to him at her, "Just someone I met,"
Isabelle raised a brow, "She seemed very friendly for someone you just met…"
Magnus chuckled, "You're not jealous are you?" he asked playfully, and then it was Isabelle's turn to laugh,
"Jealous? No way, didn't we cover this just a minute ago?"
"Hmm, yes I believe we did, but it never hurts to double check,"
Isabelle shook her head rolling her eyes, "Trust me, trying to wrap my head around loving one guy, that happens to be immortal is enough for me, and as I said before, you and I that would be way too awkward for me, and besides I only date certain Downworlders."
"Yeah," Magnus agreed with a laugh, "And anyways, you're just like an annoying problematic ex-sister-in-law to me, sorry to shatter your dreams." Magnus teased, as Isabelle glared at him causing him to laugh before he spoke again,
"And also aside from awkward I'd rather not center myself in a sibling related love triangle…" Magnus paused before adding as an afterthought,
"Again."
"Again?" Isabelle repeated looking at Magnus, who nodded,
"Yes, it wasn't very pretty, nor did it end particularly well, for me…I could tell you if you like,"
"Um, no…" Isabelle answered, "I think I'll pass on that story thank you,"
"You sure? It is quite a walk back to my apartment."
Isabelle shook her head, as Magnus laughed again, as they both continued to walk back toward the apartment, not noticing that the eyes that had been watching only moments before were following not far behind them, waiting for the right moment to strike.
Tell me what you thought, I think this chapter was sort of weak, shrug but I wanted to broaden the relationship between Magnus and Isabelle, their two of my favorite characters. :) I think it came out alright...Could be better, I'm sure...
Anyways, review for next chapter if anyone wants to contiune to read...Let me know! Thanks! :)