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Ch. 44

I held the cup of tea with both hands. It certainly wasn't the proper way to hold a teacup, but at the moment, I didn't have the energy to care, especially when there were such tendrils of warmth floating between my fingertips.

All I could do was keep my eyes glued to my Mother as she spoke.

"You'll have to pardon the current state of the house...," She said, her voice faltering into a shaky octave. "I haven't been able to bring anyone in to help, and Missy has been busy - "

"It doesn't matter, Mother." I said, trying to assure her. I set my cup of tea onto the coffee table, ignoring the dust as if I hadn't seen it. "I'm here now."

Narcissa pursed her lips. "I hope you haven't come here to take care of me. I can care for myself perfectly."

I didn't bother arguing with her. She hated receiving help from anyone, even if it was her only son.

"No, Mother. I've only come to visit before I return to Hogwarts."

She nodded once, before setting her teacup down as well. "And how are your studies going? How are you liking being Head Boy?"

"My marks are exceptional." I swallowed before answering the second part of her question. All I could think of was the Head Girl. "Being Head Boy is a lot of work, but it's going well."

If that wasn't an understated comment, I didn't know what was.

Mother smiled faintly. "Perhaps it was a good choice that you decided against transferring to Durmstrang then."

I lowered my lids and smiled. I only hoped it didn't look like a grimace...

Father had wanted to send me to Durmstrang when he had been sent to Azkaban. There were more children of Death Eaters there, and in his maniacal mind it would've been best for me. Or himself, rather.

My Mother's cool eyes went blank before turning into a stern gaze. "I trust you've told no one of our...situation?"

I paused for a moment. Perhaps my Mother still didn't count Granger as a person, so maybe not.

"Blaise knows, naturally. But he wouldn't tell anybody, he's known since the beginning." I lied softly, trying my best not to avoid her eyes. If I looked away now, she'd know instantly. A few moments later, Narcissa looked away, seemingly satisfied.

"Good, Draco. You musn't tell a soul." She said, her red, catlike nails piercing the armchair subconciously. Her lips pursed and a twinkle that I hadn't seen in months reappeared in her eyes. "Do my eyes decieve me, or has young Blaise been out and about with the eldest Greengrass girl? What was her name? Dolores...Delicia...–"

"Daphne?" I sputtered, just as I had been about to take another boiling sip of tea. "How would you know of that, Mother?"

She chuckled, brows raised. "I had only been walking past Twilfit and Tattings last week. They'd come in looking for cloaks! He said hello, of course," She said, waving a hand away at my incredulous visage. "So it is true? I think they're both lovely! She's a beautiful girl you know, and Pureblooded of course. We simply must find you a young woman like that, Draco. Perhaps the younger Greengrass, Astoria...? –"

"Mother please, enough," I sighed, trying to control my head. When my Mother wasn't dealing with the constant threat of The Dark Lord or her ailments, her greatest hobby besides Wizard's Chess and shopping was playing matchmaker. I was happy for Blaise, but I certainly couldn't see myself in such a perfect relationship...at least not anymore. Where was the fun in that? There wasn't a challenge. Honey curls covered my eyes and the sweet scent of vanilla almond shampoo blocked my airway.

"Oh, you must have seen this coming, Draco. You're nearly out of school, Darling. We must keep the Malfoy name alive." Narcissa exclaimed, as if my marriage was just another appointment on her schedule. The family mattered, the surname Malfoy mattered.

Love didn't.

But what did I know about love, anyway? I didn't love Granger...

"There are more important things to think about," I muttered, trying to ignore the weird feeling that my thoughts would burst through my mouth any moment. "The Dark Lord is out there, growing stronger. Almost everyone the family knows is involved, and we're being threatened! And Father...is in Azkaban." I gritted.

I didn't dare look at my Mother's face then. We'd never really spoken about where Lucius actually was. That subject had always been avoided.

"I know," Narcissa sighed. "Do you think that I'm unaware of these things, Draco? Your Auntie Bella –"

"Bellatrix is not family to me," I objected, failing at disguising the disgust in my voice. "That woman is nothing more than a monster."

Mother closed her eyes, the icy blue orbs going out of view for a moment. "She is my sister, Draco. There are things that you simply do not understand."

"Understand!" I seethed, trying not to loose my temper. "She's failed you, Mother! She's failed our whole family! All she cares about is that vile, snake-like –"

"Enough," Mother commanded, and I fell silent immediately. "Your Aunt has done what she can for our family. Whether you see that or not is not of importance."

And that was the end of the conversation. I nearly apologized, but the thought that I'd have to excuse Bella made my tongue stiffen. Narcissa stared at me for a moment in what seemed like half displeausure before continuing.

"At the moment, your Aunt is the least of our problems, Draco. Perhaps you have not realized that the top floor of the house has been completely closed off since the Dark Lord's departure?" She questioned, lips pursed once more.

My heart thudded against my throat. "Does that mean...?"

"Your Father's things have been closed off in the study since his leave...the Dark Lord's things have found a home there as well."

"Well has he come back?" I seethed, rising from my chair in anger. Narcissa flinched. Disgust ran into my bloodstream and my eyes felt unfocused. The highest floor of the house contained many things, dark artifacts, family heirlooms, the Dark Lord's wing, and my Father's study. Of course, the Dark Lord never left anything behind. He trusted no one, but he didn't need to. The presence of his stay was all over the house, seeping into the rooms and creating a great depression.

Had he been through my Father's things? Did he even need to?

"The Dark Lord could have taken anything from up there! He could have access to anything he wanted! How do you know what he took?" I accused, staring down at my Mother from her place in the chair. She remained as tight lipped as ever.

Suddenly, she was out of her chair and making her way to the hallway. "Come along, Draco. I have to show you something."

VVVVV

"Draco?"

Rain was still pattering against the window as my eyes fluttered open. As a matter a fact, I didn't even know when I'd fallen asleep. One moment Mum had left the room, and the next moment I'd been waking up.

"I'm not going to leave you," He'd said. "I'm never going to leave you."

I sighed and turned over in the covers, exposing my arms to the frostiness of the room. Apparently I'd forgotten to turn on the heater. Although it felt as if I hadn't yet opened my eyes, I knew I was laying wide eyed in the dark room. When had night fallen?

I had dreamed again. Of Draco, no doubt. Perhaps it was because his scent still lingered on my pillows from the night before, but I knew better.

For once, I could only remember one piece of it, which had never happened before. It seemed no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I wracked my brain for the missing pieces, I couldn't remember. I needed to remember!

It was the only part of him I would have left until school started again.

Crawling out of bed, I retrieved "Whispers of the Night" from the bookshelf and settled on the plush rug on the floor, quickly waving my wand for a warming charm. I didn't miss the tear that fell on the opening page of the book.

VVVV

"Careful, Draco." Mother warned me as she slowly made her way up the stairs behind me and I raced for the last floor. "You musn't touch anything."

I nodded curtly before skipping the last wooden step. My shoe clacked against the parquet and echoed into the vast hall in front of me. As I'd realized earlier, it had begun to get unbearably cold as I made my way up...but now it was as if we were only missing snow.

Wand at the ready, I hesitantly stepped into the hallway. I hadn't been up here since...well, since so long that I actually couldn't remember. I caught the faintest inch of movement, and my wand hand jerked.

"Do you see it?" Mother whispered, inches behind me. I looked ahead and my jaw clenched.

Black, billowing smoke seemed to rise out of the end of the hallway, clinging to the walls and making them deteriorate. It seemed nearly cavern like in structure. The darkness hung in the air like a cloudy mist, unmoving. Merlin, you couldn't even see past the second row of doors –

That was where his room had been. It was cursed! But how did I know? Why did it look so familiar?

"The Dark Lord has cursed our house, Draco..." Narcissa paused, looking down as if she were ashamed. Immediately, I took a giant step toward –

"Draco, no!" My Mother shrilled, reaching forward and grabbing my shoulder with clenched, bright red fingers. "Do you not remember –"

"I've seen this before!" I snapped, trying to wrench myself away from her. Her grip was unwielding, and I was not about to point my wand at my own Mother. "In a dream!"

I had seen it, alright.

Only, Granger had been at the end of the hallway, and beyond that –

"This is a serious matter, Draco! Whether you have dreamt of it or not has no value in this situation –"

"Don't you understand?" I hissed, gritting my teeth. "I can help! If you'll just let me –"

"Absolutely not!" Mother exclaimed sternly, her nose inches away from mine. "I have already lost your father to these circumstances! Merlin help me if I am to lose you too!"

It was not often that I saw my Mother upset. But now, when there were tears welling up in her eyes, I had no choice but to obey her.

Struggling to breathe in my angered state, I removed myself from the hallway.

Granger.

I needed Granger.

VVVVV

Although it seemed like ages, it had only been four days since Draco's departure.

Time certainly went slower when you were alone.

Or perhaps, faster. Bloody hell, I didn't even know.

Every morning, I performed the same routine.

Got up. Brushed my teeth. Breakfast. And then for practically the whole day, I would read 'Whispers of the Night'. Besides what I was actually looking for, it was quite interesting. Certain topics, while not the ones I should've been focusing on, caught my attention, and I would sit for hours and read until the words began to mesh together.

Cooped up in my room, I hadn't had much time to discuss anything with Mum and Dad. Not that I actually wanted to, really.

Dad had tried to apologize...multiple times. And each time, I had shut him down even more harshly than before.

To make matters worse, the constant ache to talk to Harry and Ginny was an ever present aura around me. Ginny was understanding, and Harry was reasonable. Just the two things I needed! Too bad they were too busy being helplessly in love with each other to notice anything else...

Suddenly, a surge of envious fluid pumped through my veins and into my head, and my eyes watered almost violently. I wanted what they had...each other.

With who? Draco? Merlin...

The answer rang clearly in my head, and I clamped down on my bottom lip to keep a sob at bay.

VVVVV

Being back at the Manor made me realize how much I really fucking hated being there.

Everyday, I forced my eyes to open and shuddered at the ceiling.

The first night back, I had entered my room and fallen onto the bed when my knees had given up under me. Being in this house gave me feelings that I preferred not to reminisce. Just a replay of all of the nights that I had stayed trapped in my quarters, waiting for my Father to go to bed or return from a raid...sent my mind into some type of fucking weird zone.

I missed her. As much as it pained me to admit it, I did. And it hurt like hell.

Everyday, the feeling in my stomach increased. Everyday, I missed her more.

I missed her curls, her lips, her quizzical glances...

Everything.

But my Mother needed me. My Mother, who had attempted to protect me from my Father each and every time, who managed to stay alone for so long and not let me see a single tear. And if here was where she needed me to be, then it was where I would stay.

Hermione had her family, her friends. I knew she didn't expect me to always be there for her...and I was glad that she didn't.

Perhaps it was because I had finally realized...I couldn't.

VVVVV

A knock on the door at exactly noon had managed to snap me out of my reverie. Mum and Dad were at work of course – and I couldn't contain the rush of adrenaline that rippled through my skin.

Racing down the stairs, I jumped the last few steps and nearly collided against the door. Without thinking to ask who it was, I yanked it open.

I didn't see a pair of shiny black dress shoes or black slacks. Instead, I saw bare, hot pink toes wrapped up in gladiator sandals in the middle of winter.

"Missed me?" Hannah smirked, before giggling, probably at the look on my face, and taking me into her arms.

"Hannah?" I mumbled, practically choking on her hair. She was cold as ice! As much as I wanted to be happy, a large spot of dissapointment chewed at my heart. "What are you doing here! I thought your family was on holiday?"

Hannah smiled and let herself in, sighing at the warmth. "Mum absolutely hated Edinburgh, so we came back a few days early. Dunno why, I quite liked it! You and I should take a trip there sometime," she said, removing her complicated looking shoes. Pardon my surprise, but Hannah had only been supposed to be back after Christmas! I needed time to collect myself...I couldn't just...everything wasn't perfectly fine.

"So, where's Draco?" Hannah asked, not seeing my face crumpling behind her. "He's still here, isn't he?" She paused. "Oh God, I wasn't interrupting something was I? I'll just...Hermione?"

Turning and seeing the look on my face, she faltered before going completely quiet. I couldn't hold it in, and before I could turn my face, a tear spattered against the wooden floor. Hannah's eyes softened, and her brows crushed together. Before I could speak, I was in her arms again. My eyes blurred, and I sobbed into her blouse.

VVVVV

"Reducto!" I whispered harshly, one hand pressed against the decimated wooden door. The wood was rotten and unweilding, and I could smell the acrid odor even through my Bubblehead Charm. The spell failed once more, and the only result were the tendrils of black smoke that were rising into the air and blending into the dark fog. It didn't help that I could barely see.

"Fuck!" I hissed as the hand pressed against the door burned. Yanking my hand away, I let out a loud stream of curses as I looked at the blackened, purplish tinged skin of my palm. It was the fifteenth spell I'd tried, and not one hex, charm, or countercurse had worked against the blasted door. The only things I'd gotten out of my time up here was a fucked up hand and a hellish amount of smoke. I felt like the biggest fucking fool on the planet. I could stand the Dark Lord's torture, but I couldn't open his sodding door? I gritted my teeth, grinding them into nothing.

Her voice seeped through my ears again, and I could've sworn I felt her touch my shoulder.

Standing up and brushing myself off, I removed the Muffliato from the hallway and paused for a moment, before roaring and kicking the door, hard. Then, I trudged down the stairs for a scalding hot shower.

VVVVV

Hannah had slept over, and in the morning she'd confronted me about the...issue. And out of all times, she'd chosen breakfast to do it. After crying myself to sleep beside her last night, I wanted nothing more than to crawl under the table and dissapear underneath the ground. Now that she knew everything, I felt extremely vulnerable. Of course, she couldn't know about the magic, but letting her know about Draco and our weird relationship would have to be enough. It was all I could give her.

Wiping her dainty mouth with a napkin, Hannah sighed. "Hermione."

"Hm?" I muttered, not bothering to look up at her. I already knew she was giving me some type of look containing pity and concern.

"We've got to talk about it."

"No, we don't. There's nothing to talk about."

"Stop it!" Hannah said loudly, slamming her fork down. I flinched, looking at her in shock. "Just stop it, alright? Don't say it's nothing when it obviously means everything to you! You can't keep doing this, torturing yourself! You've been avoiding everyone, it's nearly been a bloody week. Your parents are worried about you, alright? That's why I –"

She faltered, and bit her lip. I could see the mistake written all over her face. I stood up from the table in disbeleif. "You...you lied to me?"

"No! Your parents called me to ask if I could come over to check on you!"

"Why didn't you just tell me that, then?" I asked, perching my hands on my hips. "You didn't think I could handle it?"

"That's the problem, Hermione! Stop trying to be so strong all the time...you're going to make yourself go mad."

What did they want from me? I had to be strong! That was my only option, damn it! Harry struggled everyday trying to deal with Voldemort, Draco had issues of his own, Ginny was too in love with Harry to let him go, and Ron and I...I didn't even know anymore!

"What do you want, Hermione?" Hannah asked simply, gently.

It was the hardest question anyone had ever asked me.

"I'm not asking you to answer now. But you're going to have to face it sometime. The sooner the better." Hannah stood up from the table and grabbed her purse." Take your time, alright? If there's anything you need, let me know. I'll be back soon."

She kissed me on the cheek and hugged me for a minute. Without a word, she walked to the door and stepped out into the cold.

"Please think about what I've said." Hannah said softly, before shutting the door and disappearing from my view.

VVVVV

It was snowing.

Strange, I scoffed. It was so late into the winter that I hadn't even expected it to anymore.

"Hm." She'd said one day while we'd been taking a drive in the car. "When do you think it'll snow, Draco?"

And when I had shrugged and flipped the radio switch, her nose had scrunched in curiosity, making the freckles bunch up so they seemed like splotches –

I stepped outside without a coat on. It was early dawn, although I didn't bother to check the time. Mother's bedroom door was shut, but I knew she wasn't asleep. She barely ever slept anymore.

Blindingly white ice crushed beneath the soles of my shoes, and it was so quiet outside that the sound was magnified in my ears. Harsh wind bit at my cheeks, fluttered through my hair, and gouged into my eyes, but I didn't bother to use a warming charm. Instead, I just stood still and closed my eyes, so that everything blurred and turned into different shades of grey.

The numbness had returned.

VVVVV

"What do you want, Hermione?"

The words rang clearly in my head as if Hannah had just said them. Of course, reality was that it was two days later and Christmas Eve was tommorow.

Well, at least it had snowed.

I suppose you could say I was getting along fine with my parents again. I hadn't fully forgiven Dad for his actions against Draco, but in the spirit of Christmas, I didn't show my dissapointment. I only had so many days left to spend with my family, and I would choose to spend them accordingly.

I had been lounging on my bed reading Whispers of The Night when something pecked at my window. In a blind hopefulness that I had failed in getting rid of, I practically dashed over and opened the frost covered window. Immediately, a tawny owl sailed in, fluttering specks of ice all over the floor.

"Bugger," I muttered, frowning. I set the floor right again with my wand before the ice could melt and then turned to the owl. It chirped in response, and pecked at my hand.

"Hello, you. What have you got for me?" I questioned, petting its soft feathers. Instantly, it stuck a foot out so I could retrieve the letter. Hands shaking, I reached for it. Was Draco trying to contact me again?

Yeah, right.

VVVVV

"Fucking hell," I whispered, clutching at my face with a vengeful grip. Shuddering, I sat up in bed.

Another dream? That would be the third one that night alone!

Or morning, rather...

As I attempted to look outside my window, I sighed in frustration. The large rectangular windows were glistening with icy snow, making them shine like diamonds in the early morning. I looked up towards the grandfather clock in the corner of the room.

tick...tick...fucking tick.

Suddenly angered, I tore off the sheer green covers and marched into the bathroom. Every hair on my skin pricked up and pulled at the skin at the change of temperature.

What the hell was I thinking, sleeping shirtless in this weather?

Making my way to the bathroom and slamming the large doors behind me, I winced, not realizing how sensitive my senses would be after a night of imaginary torture...

But was it really that quite imaginairy? I coud feel the slight aches in my bones from the third Crucio Voldemort had hit me with, and the static electricity seemed to bounce through the room.

You're imagining it, you prat.

Pondering the thought, I shed my boxers and stepped into the scalding hot water I had prepared for my shower. The water was so hot I could feel it burning through my pores. Sighing, I thought of Granger and how she could've comforted me, but when I closed my eyes all I could see were two blood red reptilian eyes glaring at me.

What if this was all imaginary? What if it wasn't?

VVVVV

"Perfect timing", I thought as I tossed the letter onto the desk.

"Just bloody perfect!" I groaned sarcastically before face planting onto the mattress again. With nervous hands, I blindly retreived the note again.

Hermione,

I hope the holiday is treating you well. What have you been up to? Anyway, it's been a while since we've talked, and I was wondering if you'd like to catch up sometime...say this week at Hogsmeade? We've still got a bit a break left, so why not catch up before school? Also, Seamus is taking Lavender on a date and I figured you two are friends so...to make things short...come on a date with me? Or if you say no, that's cool too haha.

Hope you're doing well,

Dean T.

Rereading it for about the fifth time, a strange mix of butterflies and puke swelled up in my stomach...or perhaps I couldn't tell the difference.

A double date with Seamus and Lavender?

I could imagine it now, Dean and I trailing awkwardly behind the two as Lavender attempted to suck Seamus's face off. As much as she was my friend, I had to admit that she was quite vivacious when it came to personal displays of affection.

I had seen it everyday in sixth year...

My stomach turned once more, and I burrowed my face into the pillows to keep from groaning. These boys were going to kill me! First Ron, then Draco, now Dean...

I glanced up at the phone before turning the now wrinkled letter in my hands. I wouldn't always be able to depend on Hannah, and I knew that it was best that I decide what was best for me.

Perhaps Dean would be good for me, I thought. Maybe he could distract me, and after all, I hadn't seen Lavender in a while...

Swallowing my pride, I stood up on shaky legs and retrieved a quill and some parchment from the desk. Behind me, the owl hooted in agreement. Dipping the quill into the inkpot, I quickly scribbled a response that would seem terse no matter how badly I tried.

Yes.

VVVVV

As much as I didn't want to say it, Christmas proved to be pretty dismal. Of course, it had been naive of me to expect anything else from my sickly mother and a singular house elf for company. Nonetheless, I was glad to be able to look after my mother. To be honest, I didn't really know how much time I would have left with her.

A small pile of presents, the majority from Mother and a small few things from Blaise and Daphne, sat in the corner of my room, green wrapping paper littering the wooden floor. Although I had received such little gifts compared to the other years, it didn't matter.

A more disturbing fact was that I was sitting facing the window, waiting.

For what, I did not know.

Had I expected Granger to send something? For Merlin's sake, it didn't have to be a present, it could've been a small note with her writing and I would've been...

I wondered how Hermione was spending her Christmas. At this very moment, I imagined she would be sitting by the fire with her Mum and Dad squealing over presents from her friends and family members. Then, they would probably sing Christmas carols and do many other pointless activities like bake cookies and –"

I remembered the gingerbread I had made on my own. Hermione hadn't liked it, I could see it written all over her face even as she attempted to conceal it. The idea that it was so different from the others...

"Christ sake's, mate." I muttered to myself, standing up from the chair before I drove myself insane. "It's just a bloody cookie."

Mother would be asleep now, I noted, as I had started keeping track of her bed patterns so that I could work on the top floors of the house without her knowing. Perhaps a few good hexes and runes were what I needed this Christmas, I though sarcastically.

Grabbing my wand, I trudged into the living room and up the stairs, restraining myself from burning down the Christmas tree in pure annoyance as I passed it.

VVVVV

Before the winds had stopped rippling through me, I'd heard familiar voices mixed in with the hustle and bustle of Hogsmeade.

"Hermione!"

"Oi, long time no see, Granger!"

Landing on my feet and pushing back the breathtaking nausea that came with Apparition, I looked up to see three gleeful faces staring down at me. Lavender, Seamus, and Dean were all smiling bundles of warmth in the frosty wind outside The Three Broomsticks. Immediately, Lavender pounced, nearly knocking me off of my feet again.

"Oh, Hermione! It's so good to see you again!" She exclaimed, gripping me with a deathly hold.

"Oi, Lav let her go! You can't kill her before Dean gets to say hello!" Seamus chuckled, and although my vision was obstructed by Lavender's waves, I could feel him smirking.

"Hi, everyone." I smiled, trying not to seem too out of breath. Instantly, I went to greet Seamus first, purposely leaving Dean for last. Perhaps in those few short seconds I could control my heart from pounding into my throat.

I turned to Dean, not surprised to see his amber eyes appraising me warmly.

"It's nice to see you again!" I said cheerfully, trying my best not to stiffen as he hugged me.

"You look lovely," He grinned, and I smiled a smile that resembled a grimace more than anything. Internally, I willed myself to relax and have a good time.

Hermione Granger, get a grip on yourself! You're the brightest witch of your age, dammit! Surely you can handle one date!

"Alright, break it up you two," Seamus exclaimed, grabbing Lavender's hand. "I refuse to spend all day watching you guys make goo-goo eyes at each other!"

Dean scoffed as we all began to stroll through the square. "Like you two are so much better?"

Lavender giggled and kissed Seamus swiftly in response. "Don't worry Dean, Hermione isn't as uptight as she looks," she said playfully. I decided it was better to laugh nervously than attempt to choke Lavender in the middle of a public space for the comment, and as Dean inched closer to me, I fought not to groan.

Let the games begin...

VVVVV

To be honest, Madam Puddifoots Tea Shop was the most ridiculous place I'd ever been in, and by the looks on the boys faces, I could tell they thought so too.

We had been taking a quiet yet comfortable stroll around Hogsmeade when Lavender had started squealing uncontrollably about crumpets and assorted teas. Next thing I knew, I was being unceremoniously yanked into the sickeningly sweet store at Lavender's request that we all sit for tea.

The decor of the place was enough to make me vomit. The large space was absolutely plastered in different shades of red and green while magical miseltoe swallowed the ceiling. Not to mention that there were little elves dressed as Santa's helpers taking your orders and singing carols to couples upon request. Every which way I looked, I saw couples cuddling and snogging in their booths.

Halfway through some tea that tasted like Santa Claus had taken a holly jolly puke in my cup, I was reminded of Harry's date with Cho Chang. He had taken her here for Valentine's day, the poor sod, and the night had ended up in nothing but tears and confusion. Harry had luckily gotten the latter of that equation...

"So," Dean interjected, trying to initiate conversation between us when Seamus had started getting cozy with Lavender from across the table. "How has your break been? I'm sure you've been up to loads of things." He smiled, and I returned it.

You have no idea, I thought grimly.

"It's been lovely," I responded, averting my gaze as the couple beside us began to snog. I couldn't help but let out a surprised laugh. "How has the holiday been treating you?"

"It's been great!" Dean responded enthusiastically, and I gulped down more tea to stop myself from...well, I didn't even know anymore.

"I've gotten to spend alot of time with Muggle friends, you know? Spend time with my Mum and my cousins, that type of stuff. Nothing too special, but –"

Dean faltered as Lavender let out a soft moan from across the table. Both of our eyes shot to the two teens beside us, quickly looking away when we saw hands flying. I nearly snorted, and Dean laughed quietly before standing up and motioning to outside.

"It's probably best for everyone involved if we leave these two alone for now...shall we?"

Immediately, I nodded and quickly downed the rest of the tea before standing. I felt the warm sugary substance slide down my throat and restrained from wincing because Dean had payed for my cup.

"Definitely. Now let's go before the elves start singing."

VVVVV

As we quietly walked on, I realized I had forgotten how truly charming and handsome Dean actually was. His bronzy skin stood out against the stark white snow, and little flakes of ice were embedded in his dark curls. He also smiled alot, and was incredibly funny.

Maybe this date was going better than I thought.

We'd managed to talk about so many things in a short span of a few hours, like our families, school, our ideas for the future and more.

Dean shoved his hands into his black parka as we trudged through the snow. He smiled.

"Isn't your head cold?" I blurted out, not finding anything else to say. Dean tilted his head back with a booming laugh, and I turned nearly scarlet. I had never really been on an actual date before, so when things got quiet I didn't really know what to do. And he also wasn't wearing a hat.

"No, but thanks for asking. You cold?" Dean replied, still chuckling at the random question.

"No," I flustered, starting to play with my mittens. "Er, sorry...I've never really been on a date before. You probably think I'm really dull –"

"What?" Dean grinned, putting my stop to my blabbering. "But what about Krum and Ron?" He asked. "I'm sure there was something going on there."

Hearing Ron's name brought a weight that anchored in my chest, but I managed to push it away just enough to speak.

"Krum was more than a friend I suppose, but he was never really my boyfriend." I said quietly, feeling completely out of my element. I had never really told anyone this besides Draco.

Draco...

"And Ron...we're...we were friends..."

I looked down, feeling a stinging in my eyes. I willed myself not to tear up, but as I looked up quickly at Dean, I suspected that he could see the glassiness in my eyes. He look concerned, and whether I wanted to say it or not, it was incredibly adorable.

"Oh. I suppose that's my fault then. After the ball and all...–"

"No, no! Please don't think that! We were drifting apart long before that ruddy ball even happened –"

Dean laughed slightly and I smiled. "I still had fun with you that night. Even if I did regret it after..."

Even though I regretted trying to make Ron jealous that night, I'd never regretted going to the ball with Dean. It was my fault that everything had gone awry anyhow.

"Well, same here." Dean smiled mischeviously. "Maybe next time we could try having fun without all of the drinking and drama."

I stopped walking, my boots pushing into the inches of snow. "Next time?" I wondered curiously.

Dean shrugged. "If you'd like. I mean, it's been great so far. I think I'd like to see you again..."

Again?

I giggled, feeling incredibly flustered. "Why would you want to go on another date with me? I'd probably run out of things to say anyway." I shrugged.

"I don't think that's true."Dean murmured with a half-smile. "Actually, I know it's not. I don't think you're dull at all...I think you're interesting, and intelligent, and... pretty..."

I turned so red that I could feel my skin burn. Ron had never really said anything like that to me, and Viktor had never really been particularly loquacious...for Merlin's sake, he had never even pronounced my name correctly.

And now I realized, perhaps Draco was more damaged than I'd thought. Too damaged to fix...

"Hermione?" Dean said, quietly observing me. He was so close I could see the gold specks embedded in his irises. When I didn't object to his closeness, he shuffled in even more.

It was unavoidable. Dean was going to kiss me, and I wouldn't even be able to move. My heart rate increased and was pounding against my chest, and I could feel the vibrations even through the excessive layers of clothing. My eyes fluttered closed, and before I could take another breath, Dean's lips were on mine.

I stood there awkwardly for a moment, unable to move. Dean's hand snaked around my waist, and I responded hesitantly. He tasted like cinnamon and warmth.

Dammit Hermione, move!

"No," I yanked back, releasing the breath I'd been holding in. Dean's head moved away from mine.

"What?" He muttered, looking puzzled.

"No. I can't, I...I'm sorry." I breathed. I hadn't been able to force myself into kissing him. It felt wrong. There was...

"There's someone else." I muttered, feeling my conscience release its tight hold on my throat as I finally admitted it. After all this time.

Damn you, Draco Malfoy.

Dean had started to speak, but I hadn't been able to hear him as I had started to Disapparate. His face swirled and his voice turned into a deep fuzz as the wind began to pick up.

Dean's bewildered expression was the last thing I saw before everything lifted up and vanished away.

VVVVV

Before I begin the usual rant I just want to say...I MISSED YOU GUYS! How is everyone! I know you all want to kill me for not updating in months, I'm sorry D: School really does get in the way of everything. I really hope that everyone has still stuck with this story, and I hope that you guys didn't think I'd abandoned GHTS! I would never, and I can assure you guys that I will finish this story no matter how long it takes to update. This chapter has been in the works for weeks, and I've been working on it every little chance I've gotten to, so I really hope you guys like it. On the brighter side, Hermione and Draco are FINALLY realizing that they want each other, dammit. Cheers lol! Leave a review in honor of the occasion? It would make my whole day! Also, if you have any questions I will be happy to answer them if you leave them in a review. Think we can get to 560 reviews? I also have 2 questions for you guys!

What do you think is behind the door in Malfoy Manor? Do you think Draco will succeed in opening it, and how?

Where could Hermione have Apparated to?

That's all for now guys! Love to all! x