The next time Tony woke up, he felt like a run-over sloth. Every movement was slow, dragging, and hurt like hell. Considering where he had been sleeping for the past year, it wasn't all the bad. While his eyes started to focus on his surroundings, Tony's mind went through the mental checklist he had created back in the cave.

Were am I? Home.
Who else is here? Loki. Probably some sulky Avengers.
Am I awake or dreaming? No idea.
Do I care anymore? Not really.

He smiled bitterly to himself before laying eyes on the sleeping figure nestled in next to him. The sight of Loki was no longer something he flinched at. Tony allowed himself a small amount of rejoicing for being able to feel something again. Something more positive. Less suicidal.

Loki had thoroughly passed out, the months of sleepless nights finally catching up with him around 8 o'clock the previous night. They just barely managed to crawl back into the bed before both of them fell asleep without another word. Now, the god was tucked into Tony's blankets with his hair a curly mess, still wearing his grimy tunic. Tony spared a glance at his own clothes, realizing he had never removed what was left of his patched up outfit. He really did smell like shit. Delicate sensibilities of not.

Turning his attention back to the disheveled god, he watched carefully for the rise and fall of the Loki's chest. It was something he had attempted to do when his dream Loki came to him. He never could tell if the fake breathed or not. He was a little distracted by the fire burning off his skin, or the nasty smile on Loki's face when he dug the knife in deeper.

The real Loki, he felt so different. How the hell could he have forgotten all those little things that the hallucinations left out? How did he not notice the way Loki's spicy smell was missing, or how gentle and slim his fingers were? More importantly, how did he ever doubt Loki, after everything the god had done for him?

The darkness had thought of him as tool, and treated him as such. If the tool was a little roughed up, it was fine. If the took broke, just fix it.

If Loki really had been under that asshole's control, Tony seriously doubted the god would have offered to go on the epic donut quest for him. Or let Tony yell at him about things. Or do that thing with his tongue...

So, maybe they got pushed into the relationship a little, but every memory he had with Loki was his own. Even if the evil bastard seemed to have been spying on them from somewhere.

Tony's stomach suddenly roared to life with the mighty call of the hungry. He winced, hoping to avoid waking Loki up before he was fully rested. It seemed he didn't need to worry, because the god didn't stir an inch.

As tempted as he was to just lay there and watch Loki sleep, he hadn't eaten for a while before his rescue. Carefully removing himself from the tangle of Loki's limbs, Tony slid out of the bed with more grace than he thought possible. Unfortunately, an old pain shot up through his leg directly into his spine, reminding him that things were not back to normal. No, not even close to normal, if the tremors were anything to go by. He silently cursed his leg before limping down the hall to find the closest place with food.

It felt so wrong to him for his own tower to feel so unfamiliar. Tony knew each corridor like the back of his hand, yet he second guessed himself a dozen times and ended up lost. It took a lot longer than his stomach liked, but eventually he made it to the largest of the three kitchens. The smaller kitchenette in his suit was oddly devoid of foodstuffs. He had a feeling no one came up here while he was gone. It made him a little sick to think of Loki up there all alone, night after night after night.

Surprisingly enough, no one seemed to be around in the common room or the kitchen. Tony let out a guilty sigh of relief. He was not ready to confront his demons just yet. Not, at least, until he had some food in him.

His brain was screaming at him to go over his checklist. It was too weird that there wasn't even anyone in the living should be at least one person lurking around, making lunch or something.

Were am I? Kitchen
Who else is here? Nobody.
Am I awake or dreaming? No idea.
Do I care anymore? Let's not go there.

Tony rolled his eyes at how useless his checklist was and glanced at the clock. He let out a laugh. It was five in the morning. Not as late as he thought and clearly way too early for Earth's mightiest heroes.

Tony chuckled at his own messed up sleep schedule and limped over to the fridge, opening it to lean heavily on the door.

Well now, someone's been keeping this refrigerator well stocked.
Natasha has really taken over with all those weird looking meats.

Just as he reached for a box of what looked like shawarma take out, a voice came from behind him.

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you. It's been in there for a few weeks."

Tony went completely still. It took all of his will power to not lash out with the fierce wave of magic that exploded to life inside of him. He felt it burn and claw at his insides to get out.

"You don't say," he managed sound cheerful, before turning to face a freshly awake Steve.

"I think Clint may or may not be making it into a biological weapon." Steve sighed and leaned against the door with an almost proud, fatherly look. "That or Bruce and him are working together to create a new species."

Tony snorted and closed the refrigerator door, leaning back against it for support. "I see you grew a sense of humor while I was gone. Learn any other new tricks?"

"I'm glad to see you haven't lost your witty banter."

Tony let an easy grin slip on to his face. Internally, he was freaking right the fuck out. It wasn't fair that the captain, of all people, had to be the one he ran into. It wasn't fair because his copy had been particularly harsh on him back in the cave. It was also not fair because Steve was a good man, and Tony knew that. But there was nothing more terrifying than a good man turned tormentor.

"Yeah, well... you can't change everything about me," he said with a fake laugh. He was already scooting his way around the other side of the breakfast island. "If the shawarma is growing eyes, I think I'll just head back to bed."

Steve blinked, looked at the clock, and looked back at Tony in surprise. "How are you even awake?"

Tony widened his grin and backed out of the kitchen. "Some things change."

"Tony..." Steve began, noticing him backing into the hall. He reached out a hand, a frown settling over his features. "Why are you—"

"I'm just tired. I'll see you later," Tony said in a rush, limping off down the hall in what he hoped wasn't too obviously a retreat. He was half way around the corner when he heard a sad, "Okay."

Loki woke up to a cold bed, something he had grown to expect over the past few months. The ache for Tony's warmth that soon followed was also a familiar enemy. When he finally remembered that, in fact, Stark was supposed to be in his bed, he jerked up and twisted around in a panic.

"Anthony?!"

There was a loud snapping sound from somewhere out of sight, and the room flashed with a blue light.

"I said don't," came Tony's voice.

At his words, Loki remembered his promise not to use Stark's full first name. With that, came a wave of guilt at breaking such an important promise. He turned and launched himself out of bed in one fluid movement, finally laying eyes on his lover. Stark was curled up, impossibly small, and pressed firmly in the corner of the room. If the entire thing wasn't so strange, Loki would have spent more time wondering how he managed to wedge himself between the wall and the dresser. But those dark, haunted eyes pushed all unnecessary thoughts out of Loki's mind.

"My apologies, it is still a habit..."

And it was. Anthony had been the name on his lips every night as he woke screaming. The name he muttered under his breath, almost a prayer. Anthony, his mantra. Anthony, his hope.

"I will never say it again, if you so wish."

Tony shook his head once, but didn't say which he would prefer. So Loki stood still, carefully sending a thought to his lover.

"May I move closer?" He asked, attempting once more to establish that connection he so desperately missed. The Mind Link that he had needed so badly when Tony was gone. It caused his body to shake with the effort to connect again.

Tony flinched, another small spark of light coming to life in front of him. Loki waited for a response, his heart growing heavy when he received none.

"You... you don't want to go digging around in there," Tony said quietly. "Not yet anyway," he added in a whisper.

Loki nodded, attempting to appear calm for Tony. There was no reason to stress Stark out anymore than necessary. The man had, after all, shoved himself into a tiny space and was letting out bursts of magic. That was not a sign of a healthy mind, Loki would know. It was so unlike his Anthony that he wasn't even sure how to handle it.

"May I come closer, still?"

"Fine."

Loki shifted closer before kneeling in front of Stark, forcing his shaking hands to still. "Why are you over here?" he asked tentatively.

Tony looked as if he'd rather die than answer that. After some time and apparently some internal struggle, he did. "I met Steve..."

Loki waited, hoping that wasn't all he was going to get for an answer. He knew Tony was still paranoid about the rest of the Avengers, but there had to be more than that.

No, not paranoid.
Anthony was terrified of them.
Terrified of me.

"He was just suddenly there, behind me," Tony continued at last, his wide eyes carefully assessing Loki. "I nearly blew his head off, and then I just couldn't stand being near him."

"I understand."

"No, Loki... you don't."

A sudden pain crawled its way from Loki's chest, creeping across his bones like flame on oil. Loki clutched at his chest unconsciously, and looked away from those dark eyes. Her nearly jerked back when a hand found his only seconds later, feeling unnaturally warm.

"What's wrong, Loki?"

Loki let our a breathe. He hadn't expected Stark to come closer, even after their talk last night.

"It's," he gasped and cleared his throat to try again, "it's nothing to worry about."

"You're doing such a good job at convincing me, all that panting in pain really fooled me."

Loki shot him a glare, but Tony only scoffed at him, pressing his hand to Loki's chest more firmly. The pain slid away, leaving Loki feeling slightly bruised all over. The warmth from Tony's hand seeped into him, and Skjöldur Óðins, Loki didn't want to admit how good it felt. He couldn't say a word of it, not to his damaged Tony. Who knew what could trigger a memory. A single word, as Loki had already found out, was enough to tip the fragile balance in Stark's mind.

"It's me, isn't it?" Tony asked, leaning his forehead against Loki's shoulder. Instead of answering him, Loki curled his arms around Stark and pulled him closer.

They remained silent for a while, and it felt good. It wasn't the awkward silences of earlier last night, nor the heavy, tear ridden silence before they fell asleep. It was comforting and somewhat humbling to be back in one another's presence. Both of their minds on one track, at last.

"Did you know I was a weapon?"

Perhaps not the same track...

Loki's thoughts followed sluggishly, unsure what his lover was asking. Was it a metaphor, or was he being literal?

"Well, yes," Loki responded slowly.

The reaction was instantaneous. Tony jerked violently away, and made a choking sound at the same time. Loki cursed himself internally for misunderstanding the question.

"Tony..." Loki began again, treading carefully. "You fly around in a metal suit that shoots fire, among other things."

Stark's mouth fell open, a small
"Oh," escaping him.

"You mean something else entirely, don't you?"

"Yeah, something Batman said."

Loki furrowed his brow at the use of the oddly familiar name again. He just couldn't place it. He knew the creature had never told him his name, but Loki somehow doubted it was actually 'Batman'.

"Batman..."

Tony's fear slipped away and was replaced by a smile. A real smile.
"Yeah, I called him that to piss him off and it stuck. The dark night, Batman, Power Ranger. The list goes on."

"Of course you did," Loki said with a smirk. It was good to hear that Tony had kept up his usual antics while he was trapped there. Perhaps there was some hope for normality.

"Anyway," Tony said, his tone once more growing serious, "I already explained the whole ' these two need to get together'." His lips drew together in a thin line. "Well, apparently that was to create a weapon. Me."

"I do not see how you are any more a weapon after we met, than you were before."

"Uh, well..." Tony paused, looking a little unsure of himself. "My magic didn't exist until you came along."

"It did, Tony. I simply helped it manifest itself." Loki tensed and added quickly, "Albeit, it wasn't my intention to do such a thing."

Tony nodded and looked down at their hands, looking slightly shocked. Loki glanced down and felt a smile tug at his lips. Somehow, they had unconsciously intertwined their fingers and were holding hands in a rather intimate fashion. Without a second thought, Loki drew Tony's hand up to his lips to give it a kiss.

Tony's eyes widened, but his body relaxed further than Loki had seen it since their return.

"You know how to placate me."

"Again, not my intention," Loki muttered between kissing each of his lover's raw knuckles. He brought up Tony's other hand and began again, kissing over the back of his hand gently.

Tony let out a startled gasp when Loki's magic began to creep slowly from his lips and enter his body.

"Wait, Lokes..." He looked startled and a little more worried than necessary. "Are you sure you're up for this?"

"Shush and let me heal you already," Loki muttered against Tony's wrist. He continued on up his arm, placing delicate kisses and releasing his magic.

As exhausted as he was, it felt good to release his magic into Tony again. It was something he had never realized before, but there was always something returned when he gave to Tony. It was as though their magic responded to one another.

"Lokes..." Tony gasped quietly as Loki reached his neck.

"Problems?" Loki asked with a grin, dragging his teeth against Tony's skin gently.

Tony shuddered and made a mewling sound in response. Loki took that as a 'no' and released more of his magic.

He should probably feel more scared right now. Given the fact that Loki's magic was pumping through his body and how close the god was to him. Shouldn't it be triggering his bad memories?

But Tony wasn't scared at all. Because this was the real Loki. Because only his Loki made him right, made him feel whole again.

"Loookiiii," he heard himself whine.

Jesus, I sound like a thirteen year old losing his virginity.

But damn, that's what it felt like. There was no reason he should be feeling such a strong sense of euphoria from some kisses and a little magic.

Loki made an appreciative noise in return, and Tony realized the god was breathing just as heavily as he was.

"Why do you feel so good?" Tony found himself asking. He really wasn't in control of his mouth today. He blamed Loki's persuasive kisses.

"Why must you always," Loki nipped his collar bone, "chatter so much?"

Tony hissed, throwing his head back at the feeling. After his senses settled a little again, he let out a quiet laugh. "If I'm still talking, you're not doing your job."

Loki let out a huff of irritation and pulled Tony's face down. He was glaring at him. "I suppose I shall have to find a way to shut your mouth."

"I invite you to try."

Loki's grin was feral, and instead of frightening Tony as it probably should have, it excited him more.

Loki was clearly aware of the effect he was having on his body. Sliding his hands up, and releasing one more final burst of magic to heal him.

He needed his lover in perfect health for what he had planned for him.

Unexpectedly, Tony let out a moan as sparks of green flew over his skin. Loki tensed and drew his head back to look him over. "Are you alright, love? Did I hurt you?"

Tony's eyes fluttered closed before he let out a gasp. "Fuck no. That was the best thing I've felt in a long fucking time."

"Really?" Loki inquired, curiously. "Then I suppose I might as well stop where I was going. Since that was clearly the climax of your day."

Tony growled and pulled Loki's body against his roughly. "I don't think so."

"But you are quite... satisfied." Loki smirked, pressing his forehead against Stark's. Their breath mingled as he pressed even closer.

"I'm not satisfied until you're screaming my name."

Loki didn't know who moved first, but seconds later they had their tongues wrapped around one another's in a passionate kiss. Loki could not hold back the groan of satisfaction from feeling Tony's warm mouth against his. All the kisses since their return had been short, chaste even. But this kiss was almost enough to drive him over the edge. Almost.

"Loki..." Tony whispered as he pulled back from the kiss. "Loki..."

Loki's eyes met his, and he smiled nervously. "Yes?"

"Fuck me, now."

Loki made a noise that Tony had never heard before, and suddenly he was being lifted off the floor. He half expected the god to throw him onto the bed, but he was laid down carefully as if he were fragile.

Maybe I am a little fragile.
But gentile isn't what I need right now.

"Fuck my brains out, Lokes," he growled, pulling the god down to kiss his lips again. The kiss turned into a battle of biting and sucking, a game of domination. Loki was winning, and Tony loved it.

When the god pulled back, Tony didn't bother to hide his disappointment. He whimpered.

"Are you sure?" Loki asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Tony resisted to urge to start grinding into Loki.
"I need this... I need you."

There was a snap of magic and their clothing was gone, exposing Tony's already rock hard member to the cold air. He shamelessly bucked up into Loki's groin and started to grind.

"That's it..." he panted, admiring the color that tinted Loki's cheeks.

Loki shushed him and leaned over his body slowly, once more sliding a single hand up Tony's chest. Tony flinched in surprise when Loki's fingers found his nipple and gave it an exploratory pinch. It caught him off guard enough for him to let out a much louder moan.

"If you continue this," Loki purred, "and the Avengers are going to come see what horrible things I'm doing to you."

"You did say you would shut me up."

With a smug smile, Loki ran a finger down between Tony's round cheeks and traced his entrance slowly.

Tony growled and arched into the god's touch eagerly. "Don't waste time. I want you inside me."

Loki raised an eyebrow and teased the entrance still.

"It's been too fucking long, Lokes!"

He placed a thumb against the side and added some pressure around the rim. Tony squeaked in surprise.

"You're doing this on purpose..."

"Perhaps," Loki said with a wide grin.

Tony grumbled and stretched his arms up over his head, looking up at the god with his best come-hither look. It was an obvious challenge. One Tony knew Loki couldn't back down from.

"Oh," Loki purred, his voice growing low and husky, "you want to play that kind of a game."

Tony batted his eyelashes and licked his lips slowly. "Do I look to be in a gaming mood?"

Loki pressed his finger in suddenly, sending a shock through Tony's body. He hadn't been expecting it, and he lost control.

Blue, pulsating waves of magic began to radiate from him as he pressed into Loki's finger. He whimpered and tried to catch his breath before he hurt Loki somehow.

But when he looked up, Loki was staring at him with hungry eyes, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

"Beautiful..."

That was just too much. Tony flung himself up and grabbed Loki's head, kissing him desperately. Loki hummed into his mouth and followed Tony back down to the bed.

The god was already lifting his hips when they broke apart for air.
Tony stared into the green eyes above him, waiting and panting. It wasn't until he felt the tentative press of Loki's cock against his hole that he understood the questioning look in the god's yes.

"Please," he begged, reaching up and running a hand down Loki's cheek. That was all the permission he needed. Loki shifted his hips as he pushed into Tony's entrance with slow deliberation.

Tony hissed in pain, his body not nearly as ready as he wanted it to be. It had, after all, been a long time since he had Loki inside of him. After a long moment, Tony relaxed around him and let out a soft groan.

"Shit. Did you get bigger?" He asked.

Loki gave him an odd look, twisting his hips a little but otherwise remaining thrusted fully into Tony.

"It has been far too long," he replied with a sad smile. "It's only natural that I be this... excited."

"Wait..." Tony blinked up at him. "You mean this whole time you didn't... Uh... Didn't do anything?"

"If by 'do anything' you mean pleasure myself, than no. I did not."

Tony felt his cheeks burn and his cock twitch at Loki's admittance.
He leaned up and pulled Loki in for another loving kiss. The god hummed once again against his lips and pulled his cock out slowly.

Jesus Christ he's big!

Loki shifted his head back, pulling on Tony's lower lip with his teeth. Just as he let go, he thrust his cock back in roughly.

Tony yelped as it pressed in deeply, digging his fingers into Loki's back. His grip relaxed a little as Loki pulled back out painfully slow.

"Fucking hell, Lokes," Tony grumbled, resting his head against the god's chest. "I want you to fill me up before I cum. At this rate, I'm going to burst way before you do."

"I find it amusing that you can complain even as you are filled with me," Loki replied with a cheerful smile.

"Well maybe if you—"

A second later, Tony was pressed into the bed by the sheer force of Loki's thrusts. With each one, Loki pressed in deeper as Tony's muscles began to relax around his cock. Every breathe came in shuddering gasps, and his hands had somehow found their way into Loki's hair. Their eyes met for a long moment where Loki had pulled back and paused. A flicker over the god's shoulder caught his attention, and he turned to look.

The air was sparkling around them with a mix of colors. There was a weird twisting swirl of teal hovering to one side, while the rest of the colors flickered in and out of existence. It was beautiful and a little distracting.

"Tony," Loki grunted as he thrust harder with each word, "look. At. Me."

Tony managed a sound between a gurgle and a whimper before tightening his grip on Loki's hair and dragging him closer. They locked eyes once more and Tony realized something was different this time.

It wasn't just the magic flying around them like some sort of personalized light show. Loki felt different to him, almost like a stranger. Tony nearly stopped Loki to figure out what was wrong. But as off putting as it was, he was already so close to cumming. Plus, Loki had this desperately sad look in his eyes mixed in with the lust.

Tony blinked a few times as he felt Loki change position slightly and begin to thrust against his prostate. He began to babble, beg for more, and groan Loki's name. Then something clicked.

The connection. The Mind Link was completely closed between them. Both of them had put up walls and they still weren't down. So Tony closed his eyes and turned his focus inward. He searched for that little spot of light that was always there like a pilot light.

There.
Now...

"Loki..."

Loki twitched and slowed his pace a little. "Tony?"

Tony opened his eyes and smiled slowly. "Let me in."

For a second, Loki's eyes went wide and unsure. Tony half expected him to say, 'No, you aren't well enough yet' or some shit like that. But he didn't.
Instead, the walls came down.

It was a shock, for both of them, when they connected again. Tony thought for sure his head was going to explode. To top it all off, Loki had suddenly grabbed Tony's cock and began pumping it in time with his thrusts. The thrusts that had grown more feverish since they connected.

Talk about sensory overload.

Tony was screaming something when he came, and he thought he heard Loki saying something as well. Everything went black for a while, or maybe it was only a few seconds. When he could see again, he was met with a pair of green eyes hovering over him. They looked fearful and concerned.

"I'm okay, Loki... I'm more than okay."

Loki mumbled something before slipping out of him gingerly. A shudder tore its way through both of them as the sweat already began to cool on their bodies. Tony stared up into space before Loki's eyes were above him again.

"I have never heard you scream my name like that before," Loki said quietly, his hand brushing down Tony's cheek. He was smiling shyly, almost like he didn't want to admit how much he liked it.

"I did promise you, didn't I?"

With a chuckle, Loki slipped into the bed next to Tony. The hand returned, this time running his fingers through Tony's hair.

"Thank you."

Tony smiled and flopped his head to the side to gaze at his lover. "Thanks for what? You did all the work."

Loki stared at him while he continued to trail his hand through Tony's hair. He said nothing for a some time while he held Tony's gaze. Finally, he smiled.

"For letting me back in," he said quietly. "I felt as though I was dying, all these months you are gone. Then, you returned to me. But..."

"But I blocked you out," Tony added.

"I shied away as well. I was too weak to handle the... Images your mind was projecting."

"I... Sorry, Lokes."

"No," Loki said, shaking his head. He slid his hand down and cupped Tony's face gently. "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry for everything."

Tony hummed and snuggled closer, wrapping his arms around the god.

"How about this, neither of a are sorry for anything. We did exactly what we needed to do and here we are." Tony grinned and was rewarded with a faint smile back. "Here we are, Lokes. A couple of handsome beasts who just had the best sex in the universe, we can think dirty thoughts to each other in some dusty old language, and we make a kick-ass fighting team. I mean, we're linked mind, body, and soul."

With a laugh, he added, "if anything, people should be jealous of us."

A bubble of laughter burst out of the god, and It had been way to fucking long since he had heard it. His Loki's laugh.

Tony marked this as his new favorite moment in his life.

The next time Tony woke up, he felt like a different person. Everything felt fresh, new, and a little too shiny. Tony decided it was due to his sex-high and stared at the ceiling, going once more over his checklist.

Were am I? Home.
Who else is here? My Loki

Am I awake or dreaming?
Definitely awake.