Later that night, I had awoken to the sounds of voices shouting outside. Rolling onto my side, I squinted at the numbers on my digital alarm clock. 3:15am. Who the hell was making so much noise at this hour? Feeling groggy and annoyed, I climbed out of bed and crossed the room toward my open window and peeled back the curtains. I could barely make out the outline of the two figures standing in my yard below as I peered into the darkness.

Why they had to be there of all places, I had no idea. Fortunately, my mom had left town for the weekend for some R&R after the move, so I didn't have to worry about her getting woken up from the belligerence. However, I couldn't be sure that it wouldn't piss off the neighbors. From what I could hear, it sounded like two boys in my yard and they were having a very heated argument.

"I don't care!" one of them yelled. "I don't care if they think I'm crazy! I know the truth! I know what you really are! I can't prove it just yet but as soon as I can, everyone else will know what you are too! An alien! Just you wait! As soon as I can prove it, I'm going to expose you, Zim! You're going to regret the day you ever came to Earth!" The other one laughed like a classic super villain so scarily accurate that it caused the hairs on my neck to stand on end. "FOOLISH INSOLENT HUMAN! You haven't been able to prove my true identity for the last six years! What makes you so confident that this time will be any different? All your pathetic little plans against Zim have and to this very day remain THWARTED! You and your theories will always be a ruse among all humans until I have ENSLAVED THEM ALL!"

"Don't be so sure, Zim! I have many top secret plans you know nothing about and when you least expect it, your guts will be splayed all over an autopsy table after you have been sold to a lab as a scientific test subject on Mysterious Mysteries!" "LIES! That big stupid head of yours does not make up for the microscopic little, brain inside! Your puny human technology is no match for advanced Irken technology! YOU CAN NEVER OUTSMART ZIM!"
"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!"
"Hey!" I shouted from the window. "It's three in the morning and you guys are being too freaking loud! Can you please keep it down and maybe get off my lawn?" The two boys fell silent as they backed up into the orange light of a streetlamp, looking up at me like two deer caught in the headlights. That was when I caught sight of the pointy hair and glasses and my heart lurched. Of all people, Dib had to be in my yard at 3am and I just yelled at him. Way to make a good first impression, Wendy. Standing beside him was the green kid I recognized from class earlier, the one I assumed was called Zim.

Dib turned to him and applauded sarcastically. "Well good job, Zim! Wake up the entire neighborhood with all your incessant shouting about your plans for world domination and see if that doesn't draw attention to you! Can you imagine if you hadn't worn your disguise on top of everything else?"

Zim placed a finger to his chin as if for a moment he was considering the fact that Dib had a point, but then he just crossed his arms and turned away with his nose in the air. Actually, he didn't appear to even have a nose, which was just as suspicious as his greenish complexion. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said with false innocence. "I'm simply just a normal human worm baby like any of you wretched earth scum. I've got nothing to hide."

I couldn't help but suddenly be amused by all of this. If aliens were real, I honestly hoped the rest of them weren't as incompetent as Zim. If they were, that would be a great disappointment to all who believed in their existence.
Human worm baby?
Wretched earth scum?

Right. I'm sure that kind of vocabulary will really help you keep up your appearance Zim. "Okay," I said, trying not to grin. "You know what? Hold on a sec. I'm coming down." I slipped into my fuzzy pink bunny slippers and quickly ran a brush through my long blonde hair before heading downstairs. If Dib was going to be outside my house in the middle of the night, the least I could do was not have bed head.

Just to be safe, I grabbed my can of mace. I wasn't sure how dangerous Zim was or if the stuff was even effective against aliens (if he was one) but I figured it was best not to underestimate him. It was also a possibility that he could be nothing more than a special ed kid with a nasty skin condition. Whatever he was, I guess I was about to find out. I had to admit however, that I was afraid as I was curious to uncover the truth.

I could feel my stomach doing wild somersaults as soon as I got outside and starting moving closer to Dib. Trying my best to ignore the awkward sensation of him being so near, I approached Zim. I must confess that for a seventeen year old, I was pretty small, about five feet or so. But close up, he was no taller than me. In fact, he looked like he could have even been a foot shorter. Dib on the other hand looked to be about 5'9, taller than both of us.

"So," I said to Zim. "You really are human huh?" "Of course Zim is human you foolish female!" he insisted. "As you can see, I am a perfectly normal_" he made a sour face as if the word was a bad taste in his mouth "hyooman specimen, er I mean...citizen of Earth. I am no different from you. I share the same putrid DNA as you, the same functioning organs_"

"Including a squeedly spooch!" Dib chimed in.
"BE QUIET!" Zim yelled, shaking his fist at him as I hid a smile.

"A squeedly spooch?" I pressed. "What exactly is a squeedly spooch? Maybe you can elaborate on that Zim?" "It's...a," he started but then stopped myself once he realized he was playing right into my hands. "Zim has never heard of no such organ and nor does Zim have one! The Dib monkey LIES! I have simply human intestines!"
"Just intestines?"
"And six hearts and three spleens too!"
"Really? Because last time I checked, the human anatomy consisted of one heart and one spleen."

"You dare question Zim?" He got in my face and I gasped when I caught sight of his mouth. It was filled with rows of serrated teeth and a long serpentine tongue. Now that was not normal.

I reached my hand into my pajama pocket, fingers enclosed protectively around the mace can. On the plus side, Dib was standing behind Zim, looking impressed by my interrogation.

"It just seems a bit odd to me," I replied. "That someone who is supposedly human could have such little knowledge about their own race." "Odd?" Zim echoed, glaring at me with those strange, vitreous blue eyes. "Zim is not odd!"
"So you're not an alien?"
"Of course not!"
"Then what's with the green skin? And don't tell me it's a skin condition."
"It's a skin condition," he said with a defiant smirk. He reached up to pat my head with a black gloved hand as if I were a dog. "Oh you poor doomed child, so ignorant and delusional just like the Dib stink."
"She doesn't believe you Zim!" Dib said, stepping between us.
"Nobody here is falling for your little act or your phony disguise either! I've been onto you since day one and Wendy is too smart to be fooled by your sorry excuses!"

I couldn't help but beam at him from his compliment. But my state of bliss was soon cut short and replaced by mortification when Zim walked around him with these scary metal spiderlike legs emerging from his back. His mouth curled into a nefarious grin as he stalked towards me on them.
"Well then," he leered. "Let's see how smart she is once I remove her brain."
Slowly, I backed away as he attempted to poke my eyes and ears with four of the frontal robot legs.
Then instinctively, I withdrew the mace can from my pocket and sprayed the contents directly into Zim's face.

There was a slight twitching of his eye followed by a sneeze, but other than that, he had no serious reaction.
Great. He was immune.
"SILLY LITTLE EARTH WRETCH!" He raged. "YOU THINK YOU CAN ATTACK ZIM? I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF!" Suddenly the robotic legs lunged for me again, but before I could run, they clamped around my ankles, pulling me upside and suspending me in the air. Angrily, I tried to swipe at Zim but it was useless since he was holding me at a distance. He only laughed mockingly.
"Your feeble attempts to fight me are so pitiful it's almost amusing!" "
"Let go of her!" Dib suddenly barreled into him, knocking us both down.
For a while, Zim and I continued to wrestle one another while Dib tried his best to restrain him.
He threw me in the grass where he pinned me on my back and proceeded to strangle me.
I reached up to gouge one of his eyes and I freaked when the thing fell out into my hand.

Upon closer inspection, I that it hadn't been an eye at all
but a contact lens.
Looking back at Zim, I gaped in horror at the large, red alien like eye glaring down at me.
"Oh. My. God."
"That's not all he has!" declared Dib as he yanked off what apparently had been a wig from Zim's head, revealing two also very alien like antennae.
Case closed.
"There you have it Wendy! Proof that Zim is a real alien!" "FOOLS!" Zim screeched, snatching the pitiful disguise out of our grasp. "You can't expose me! I will rule both of you once I have destroyed this miserable spinning ball of waste you call Earth and I will see that you will both be diabolically experimented on! You will rue the day you ever messed with ZIM!"

Suddenly my lawn sprinklers turned on, drenching him. Dib and I instantly dodged the spray of water. Zim on the other hand remained in the grass, where he lay in a fetal position, writhing and flailing while screaming, "THE PAIN! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" He wasn't kidding. I sat in the driveway, watching in utter disbelief as the water singed him so badly,
you'd think that he was being showered in acid.
Dib just laughed triumphantly. "What's the matter Zim? Forgot to wear your protective paste armor?"

I had to admit this was painful to watch and at this point, I sort of felt sorry for Zim even if he did try to poke my brain out. For a moment, I debated with myself as to whether or not I should bother helping him but luckily, he ended up rolling back onto the sidewalk out of harm's way.

Soaking wet, he unsteadily climbed to his feet and pulled out what looked like some kind of communication device.
"GIR!" he barked into it. "Bring me the voot cruiser and take me home!"
"Yes, my master!" a robotic voice replied.
Seconds later, a massive purple spacecraft came zipping down the street and nearly crashed right in front of my house.
I stood gaping in awe at the thing.
Never in my life had I ever expected to see anything like this.
Dib went after Zim in hot pursuit but the creepy little alien was too fast for him.
Already, he had boarded and began to take off into the night.

"You can't hide forever, Zim!" Dib taunted after him as the voot cruiser disappeared around the street corner.
"You may have gotten away tonight but it won't be long before I turn you in to authorities! One of these days, I'll get you! You'll see!"
"A...hem." I said in attempt to get his attention.
"Oh!" He turned to me, looking dumbfounded as if he had briefly forgotten that I was there.
He ran out of the street and back towards me, the tails of his trench coat flapping behind him.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he helped me to my feet.
"I guess so," I replied. "What the hell was that all about anyway?"
"I've been after that space monster for years," he murmured, turning to shake his fist at the street corner where the voot cruiser had disappeared.
"Since the day he walked into my fifth grade class, I knew instantly what he was, an alien posing as a student so that he could destroy Earth." "You've known him for that long?" I asked. "Yes," he said. "But no matter how many times I've tried to prove his true identity, things just never seem to go according to plan or people just simply don't believe me.
I'm just the boy who cried wolf to them or in my case, alien."
"Well," I consoled as I came up behind him. "I certainly believe you. I mean there's no way I'm going to just turn the other cheek when both him and his spacecraft were exposed right in front of me. That would just be stupid."
"You're right!" he suddenly exclaimed, facing me again.
"About what?" I asked, confused. "That it's stupid?"
"Well yeah," he said giddily. "That would be stupid but that's not what I'm saying!"
His smile was so cute and dazzling that I couldn't help but smile back.
Then my heart fluttered when he suddenly grabbed my shoulders.

"Wendy," he said. "You saw everything and you're not in denial! You are my witness! Don't you see it? Together, we can end his reign of terror against all mankind as an unstoppable team! What do you say?"
"Um, sounds great," I said, trying to sound casual, even though my body screamed from his touch.
"But didn't Zim say he was going home?" "He didn't mean his home planet," Dib explained. "He's got a base set up here in the city in which he tries to pass off as a_" he used his fingers to make quotation marks around the word, "house, but it takes an experienced paranormal investigator to tell that it's an unconvincing piece of work,"

He paused for a moment, then smacked his forehead before resuming. "I am so sorry. Here I go rambling away and I forget to even introduce myself. I'm Dib Membrane."
"I know who you are," I smiled as I shook his extended hand. "And I can see you already know me."
"Yes, you sat next to me in Ms. Bitters' class yesterday. By the way, I'm sorry for what happened. She's mean to everyone so don't take it personally. Well, everyone except Zita. She's kind of her class pet."
"I figured." I said, rolling my eyes as I recalled that evil smirk and bad haircut.
Dib tipped his head to one side as he watched me curiously
"What were they giving you such a hard time about anyway?"
"It' not important." I said, staring down at my slippers.
"Well alright," he shrugged before glancing at his watch. "Wow is it really four-thirty already? Time sure flies when you're protecting the planet from alien scum. I should go. It's been nice meeting you, Wendy and sorry for all the commotion. Have a goodnight."
"Wait!" I called, running after him. He stopped and turned to me again, looking surprised.
"Um, maybe I can walk you home?" "In your pajamas?" he asked with a laugh.
"Yeah, I don't mind."

For a moment, he just stared at me but then a sincere smile played across his lips. "Really?"
I smiled and nodded. "Well alright," he said. "Just put this on for me first," To my surprise, he stepped out of his trench coat and draped it around my shoulders. "I'm amazed you even lasted this long standing outside dressed like that in the middle of winter. You're lucky it didn't start snowing." "Thanks," I said appreciatively. I started to melt inside but I think it was more from Dib's chivalric move rather from the physical warmth of the coat.
"Anytime Wendy," he smiled. "Come on. My house is not far from yours,"
We slowly made our way down the dimly lit street.
"You know," he said "Ms. Bitters used to teach my fifth grade class before eventually moving on to teach hi skool."
"You're kidding!" I said, gaping at him. "I feel so sorry for you." "Yeah, well I guess she figured adolescents would be slightly more tolerable than the prepubescent juveniles she was dealing with.
Sadly though, it doesn't seem like it's made that much of a difference to her now, does it?"
"Not at all," I said "She really despises anyone who's a non Zita." "Pretty much," Dib conceded. We both laughed at the horrible truth.
"I know firsthand all too well. Ever since I was eleven, I've been bullied by not just her but by the entire student body. I'm sure you've heard some of the kids talking about me by now. 'Stay away from that alien obsessed kid with the abnormally large head, he's crazy!' Am I right?" He looked at me expectantly.
"They don't know you," I said reassuringly. "And for the record, I think your head looks perfectly head sized to me."
Suddenly, Dib stopped walking and just stood there beaming at me. It was as if my words had been a warm, comforting hug he had long needed. "You..." he started, incredulously. "You're the first person to ever say that to me! I don't know what to say."
It was rewarding to see that I had made him happy. Hopefully, it would continue.
"You don't have to say anything," I smiled.
"You know what my favorite part about tonight was?" he said, walking again.
"What?" I asked, excitedly. "When your sprinklers turned on and got Zim!" he giggled. "That moment was priceless!
Ooh if only I had gotten that on tape! I could have had him persecuted and gotten a good laugh at the same time!"
"So water really hurts aliens, huh?" I asked.
"Well," said Dib. "Just the Irken race as far as I know. They're the ones I've been researching the most since they seem to be the greatest threat at this time."
"So you think the Earth is really in danger?" "Oh I don't 'think' it's in danger," he said defensively. "I know! You saw the terrorism Zim displayed tonight!" "True," I said, shuddering at the thought of him attacking me with those scary metal legs.
"Man, I really would have had hell of a time explaining all that to my mom if she had been here tonight."
"At least she would have known the truth," Dib insisted. "If nobody in this city is going to believe me then they will just have to see it with their own eyes. Then they will know what they are up against and that I had been right all along!"

Maybe I was going mental, but for some strange reason I was beginning to find the way he passionately raved about aliens and the fate of the world really, well...sexy. I just didn't want him to stop. In fact, I could probably listen to him all night if I could.
Okay, seriously Wendy, stop it.

By the time I shook myself from my dreamy haze, Dib had stopped talking and was watching me oddly.
"What?" I laughed. He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just, well I'm amazed that you haven't tried to shut me up by now.
Most people usually find me annoying within the first two minutes after meeting me and find my beliefs in paranormal phenomenon either crazy or stupid. Why are you so different from everyone else?"
"Um, I don't know," I said. "I guess I just think that everyone should believe in whatever they want and not let anyone
else tell them differently. If you believe in the paranormal then you believe in the paranormal and I totally support you on that. You shouldn't be silenced for having an opinion. It's not even an opinion, really. After seeing what I saw tonight, I've
learned that your beliefs are a fact and that will never change. So you have every right to be heard."

He was still watching me attentively even after I had stopped speaking. "Wow..." was all he could muster.

Soon we came to a dark house silhouetted against the starry purple night sky. "This is it," Dib said, as I walked him to his front door. He started to unlock it then stopped and turned to me. "Um, I just wanted to say thanks for walking me home, Wendy.
It's not every day that I meet someone who actually enjoys my company and will listen to the things I say. It really meant alot to me." He took my hand and gave it a squeeze as he smiled meaningfully.

I struggled to maintain my footing as my legs turned to Jello. "No problem." I said, giving his hand a squeeze in return before he could pull away. "Are you going to be okay walking back home by yourself?" he asked.
"I'd hate for you to run into Zim again on the way if he's still out there."
"I really doubt he's in the position to assault me any further tonight after getting owned by my sprinklers." I reassured him.
Dib chuckled at my remark. "I guess you're right about that. Wendy, before you go I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah?" I said, excitedly. " I need to get inside Zim's base and install some new spy cams. He seemed to have found and disabled the ones I originally had placed there. Do you want to maybe join me later?"
"Really?" I asked. He nodded.
"Um, sure I'd love to." "Great! Meet me back here tonight at seven."
"Got it." "Have a good night, Wendy."
I started to leave but then spun around again just time before he closed the door behind him.
"Wait! Don't you want your coat back?"
"Keep it for now," he said, waving a dismissive hand at me. "You need it more than I do right now."
"Oh wow...thanks." We bid each other a final goodnight and I started to head back home.

Back in my room, I struggled to fight my growing urge to sleep with Dib's trench coat. Naturally, I ended up failing horribly when I got up to retrieve the thing from the computer chair I had draped it over.
I returned to bed, holding it close to me as if it were a teddy bear. Gently, I ran the soft material against my cheek,
inhaling the alluring scent that could either have been detergent or pheromones. Or both.
Just before drifting off to sleep again, I found myself thinking, would it be wrong to wish for Dib to still be inside this coat while I held it?