Disclaimer: After 68 chapters of disclaimers; I don't want to write them anymore... so tbbbbbbbht!

Chapter Sixty-Eight

(Fin POV)

Luke is not upstairs as I'd hoped.

I feel a momentary flutter akin to panic wondering if he actually left without saying goodbye. Without offering me a chance to ask him anything more about Winchester, and if there's even a small chance we could work something out there.

Tyreese is upstairs keeping Beth and Molly company as Beth prepares food; it seems such a mundane task after everything that happened this morning. But when I smell the food my stomach is quick to remind me that I didn't really eat this morning before Luke pulled me away to talk…before everything went so blasted wrong.

Daryl is right about that at least; lately life seems to take great delight in flinging one hardship after another at us just to see how much we can take. The second we pause to take a deep breath we get sucker punched all over again.

My mother used to tell me that God always has a plan. I used to believe that; now I'm not so sure. Lately if feels like if there is a God he's not as kind as my mother always made him seem; what with the footprints in the sand and all that jazz.

The whole 'God gives you only what you can handle' is a load of bullshit too.

Either God is an Asshole, which just plain sucks for all of us. Or He's laboring under the delusion that I'm some kind of Bad-Ass Superhero; only I never got that memo.

"Have you seen Luke?"

Tyreese nods to us, jerks his head toward the ladder to the roof. "He's carrying stuff out to the Jeep, said he wanted to get on the road before noon; lost too much time already..."

"Thanks."

I swear it feels like Beth is glaring at me when I start to walk away. But then why wouldn't Beth glare at me? I brought Luke and Chris in here, said they were safe and look what happened. She could have been killed. She has every right to glare at me. One more thing to deal with.

I'm surprised Maggie wasn't pissed at me earlier for Chris endangering Beth like that.

I climb up onto the roof, grab one of the last two bags sitting there while Daryl grabs the other we carry them towards the Ladder down to the shipping container roof before climbing down to the parking lot.

Luke is coming down the side of the building sees us and stops waiting. He takes the bag from my hand when we get closer without comment. Chris isn't with him, as we get closer to the Jeep I realize that's because Chris is already in the passenger seat…maybe passed out I'm not sure, I don't look to closely…I'm marginally sure he's not dead.

I follow Luke to the back of the Jeep wait while he tucks the bag he took from me into the back, takes the one from Daryl with a tight clipped 'Thanks.'

We move back to the front of the Jeep, Daryl walks away a few feet, looks so uncomfortable with this whole scenario I'm almost sorry I asked him to come with me.

My eyes slide to the front of the Jeep again, still struggling to reconcile the actions I saw today even against the selfish young man we grew up with; the one I avoided like the plague through summers in high school and spring breaks hiking with Luke all through college…it just doesn't seem possible that they are one and the same.

"Don't worry, I zip tied his dumbass to the door. He won't be a problem as soon as we're out of here."

God I hope so.

"You know, I was joking the day you got here when I asked you how you hadn't shot him yet; I didn't realize Chris took it as a set goal to rise to new levels of Assholism."

Luke snorts grinning at me even though it's not funny; not really. "She's still got jokes." He shrugs one shoulder, stuffing his hands in his front pockets for a moment. "Well, you know Chris: Always moving onto bigger, better things."

"I wanted to ask you…" I bite my lip while he stares at me glancing over my shoulder at Daryl.

How do I word this?

"Is there anything we could trade to get into Winchester?" My voice is so quiet I don't think Luke heard me, let alone Daryl.

Luke stares at me eyes hard, chewing his lip, ankles rolling so that his feet pop up on the outer edges of his boots in a habit I instantly recognize from our childhood as nerves… Joe used to warn him he'd break his ankle doing that…

He shakes his head finally, takes one more glance at Daryl and then Luke grabs me in a tight hug.

I wrap my arms around his waist try to swallow the instant lump in my throat. My voice is a thick tear saturated croak. "I wish you didn't have to go."

I'm absolutely not going to cry like some little girl…

"Finny listen to me." Luke's hiss against my ear startles me making me jump. "What you said the other day; They Don't just stand there; Not for Me; or Chris or Anyone. Do you understand me? What you did making them stop today? No One Can Do That."

I start to pull back and his arms tighten around me painfully stopping me.

"Listen to me! If this goes bad here; Don't go to Winchester!" His hiss is desperate against my ear.

"Whatever you do: Don't Go There! I don't know what you are, but it's special, and if they get their hands on you; you'll never come back out!"

I stare at the trees over Luke's left shoulder not seeing them; the whole world has faded to a grey blur as his words sink in. My fingers dig into his back, it feels like I'm going to hyperventilate…I can't catch my breath…

"What…? What am I supposed to do?!" My heart is racing and I feel lost all over again.

One more suckerpunch I never expected…don't know how to deal with…

I thought I was like Luke or that Luke was like me…that we were in this together, that there were others out there like me, that maybe I'm not a monster…

but we're not the same…

Luke's voice shakes as he whispers to me, the cold dread seizes around my chest once more making it harder to breathe.

Not even Luke knows what I am…

"Luke, What do I do now?" Because I don't know, I've never felt more alone.

"Hide, for as long as possible. Don't tell anyone, don't show anyone…Not even to save lives; just Don't."

"Luke…"

I've tried that...done that…it never works...

One of them already knows...

"Promise me…" I've never heard him sound so desperate in all my life…not even when he spoke of Eric and Joe, and waiting to die…somehow this is worse.

I nod against his shoulder, dumbstruck.

"Just be a normal girl Finny; don't try to save the world; keep yourself safe… Let him keep you safe for as long as he can... Promise me, Please."

Him… Daryl.

I pull back and this time Luke lets me. I stare at him, open my mouth but can't think of a damn thing to say. I just nod mutely vision blurred with unshed tears.

What do you say to something like that?

Luke steps back from me letting his hands drop to his sides. I stare at him as he turns away from me actually walks back to where Daryl is standing some distance away; trying to give us some privacy to say Goodbye I suppose. I watch in bewilderment wondering what the Hell they might say to each other after everything that's transpired.

My mind is still racing over his words to me when Luke stops in front of him. Offers Daryl his hand, they stare at each other for a tense moment, then clasp hands.

I stare at them in total shock while they shake in some kind of manly peace treaty.

"Take care of her or I'll come back and kick your ass."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a promise."

"Deal."

Okay, not a peace treaty so much as a cease fire…I'd roll my eyes at them both if I wasn't fighting back tears.

Luke turns his back on Daryl takes the few quick steps back to my side hugs me one more time tighter then before with a quick whisper of "Be safe," and then he lets go and gets into his Jeep.

Before I can ask him to explain, before I can beg him to tell me everything he knows about what I am, what he is…

How do I pretend to be normal when everyone around me is in constant danger?

I don't look at Chris in the passenger seat. Keep my eyes locked on Luke as he pulls out of the lot while Daryl closer behind me, still giving me space to fight through my jumbled emotions.

We stand silently for a few minutes in the lot, long after Luke's Jeep is out of sight. Eventually Daryl speaks behind me.

"Come on, let's get inside, you never even got to eat anything." I nod. Not feeling all that hungry right now. Not sure I can speak with everything I've learned and what Luke just told me spinning a million miles an hour inside my head. It feels like Luke's words are echoing inside my skull.

I can't go to Winchester.

I was right all along.

There's no safety;

no end to this nightmare in sight.

It's always a false hope.

:: Walking Dead ::