"We have your test results back Mr. Cullen. We're afraid it's bad news." The monotone doctor walked closer to Edward and I. "You're sample came back positive for a stage three Anaplastic astrocytoma. You've got brain cancer." The doctor rubbed a handkerchief across his face before continuing. "We'll start treatment immediately. Our resident nurse here will let you know about all the important information." He gestures randomly towards the open door. "Let her know if you need anything." The doctor walks away, leaving me with my mouth wide open.
The nurse – this time I do read her name tag, it's Tanya – comes nearly skipping into our room. She smiles at me and Edward and then turns to read his chart. "Oh no!" She exclaims. Her voice is high pitched, almost like a young child's. Her eyes go big as she continues to read Edward's information.
"Okay, well. . . Looks like this is some bad news, huh?" She looks up at my wide eyes and still gaping mouth. "Perhaps we should wake Edward up and let him know?" She points a lean finger towards my sleeping boyfriend.
I reach back and shake his sleeping body gently. "Edward?" My voice cracks. "Edward you need to wake up." I had gotten past the point of crying after the first time Edward woke up. I had been drained of my emotions so entirely to would take me weeks before I would be able to laugh, or smile, or be happy again.
Edward rolled over slightly, bumping his shoulder into my side. "Hmm?" He moaned as his hand reached up to rub his eyes. "What is it? Can I go home?"
Tanya's smile left her face when she heard Edward say this. She stayed quiet though, so I know I would have to be the one to break the news to him. "No, no baby, you can't go home. Your test came back. It wasn't good. Edward, you have brain cancer." I whispered to him, emotion making my words nearly silent.
Edward's eyes shot open. He didn't sit up though. The heart monitor sped up, and I could tell he was breathing harder. "What?" He looked at me, and I could see the panic running through his eyes. No tears though, Edward tried to never cry in front of me when he could help it.
"You have brain cancer." I whispered to him again, only this time my eyes were squeezed shut. I couldn't stand to see the fear he showed. I could feel Edward grab my hand, and I gripped his large hand tightly. Even when he's the one who's dying, I'm still the one that needs his comfort. I thought, then instantly took it back. He's not dying.
"Hi Edward, I'm Tanya." The bubbly blonde stepped into our conversation. She went to stick her hand out and then thought better of it when she saw our hands grasped together. "I'll be your nurse for right now. I'm here to give you and your girlfriend all the information you'll need." She smiles at him. I'm not even looking at her, I can't stand how happy she seems. Doesn't she understand the news she's delivering to us? Edward's trying to ignore her too.
"Alrighty then! So what they'll have to do is remove the tumor from your brain! That should be easy enough, huh? It's right at the surface of your brain. You're lucky the cancerous cells haven't spread throughout your body, otherwise you'd be in a lot more trouble." She was really starting to get on my nerves.
"Okay, so once they remove the tumor, we recommend you go through radiation and chemo. Which will take quite a while, but it'll make sure the cancer stays away for good! Chemo and radiation can make you feel really sick, but don't worry, it'll go away eventually. A little puke is worth it, don't you think?" I swear I could hear her bounce up and down as she continued to talk.
"Now here's where it gets a little personal." Tanya cleared her throat. "Have you guys thought about having children in the future?"
"No." I say, while at the same time Edward says "Yes." I look over at him. "I told you I didn't want any kids." I hissed at him. "We don't want kids." I turn to Tanya and speak directly to her.
"Bella." I turn my attention back to him. "I want kids. Why do you ask Tanya?" He says louder for our nurse to overhear.
"Well, you see, radiation can cause sterility . . . so if you want kids you're going to have to choose now." She's no longer smiling, she's not upset, but she's not smiling.
And then the meaning of those words hit me. And while the words don't affect me, I can feel Edward tense up. "Are you kidding?" Edward's voice in loud. "You're telling me that I have to choose now, if I want to have a baby in the future?" He takes his hands away from mine and puts them over his face. "Jesus Christ. I can barely decide what to get Bella for Christmas next year." He's shaking now, not because he's cry, at least not yet.
"Edward . . ." I plead with him to stay calm.
"No Bella." He growls at me. Tanya gasps behind me at the sudden anger in Edward's voice. "I want children. Bella, if this . . . this thing," He points to his head. "If this thing means I might not be able to have children when you decide it's okay, then we're going to have to do it now Bella. Please, for me?" He's gone back to holding my hand. "I'm begging you Bella. Please."
"Well, Mr. Cullen, you know you can always get your sperm frozen. It's a reliable method of saving the day for another time." Tanya butts in again. This time I'm actually happy she does.
"Your heard her Edward, we're not ready to have a baby now anyways. With your, your cancer. I mean, a baby born into this kind of stress won't be good for either of us." I can see my points are making sense to him. "Look, Edward, we can talk more about this later. But for right now, why don't we just wait until the tumor has been removed? I have to go call your mom and dad, let them know what's happening." I extract myself from his arms.
"I'll be right back okay? Right back." I pull a quarter out of my pocket and start to walk down the hallway, dreading the conversation that we would have to have eventually. It'll be okay.
~~**oo**~~
Author's Note: Was that what you all expected? Can you tell where this story is going? Do you think Bella acted a little too harshly when it came to the baby making?
Let me know with a review! Next chapter comes out tomorrow!