It's times like this that remind me why I must seem so cold and distant from everyone I meet. I want to lighten up, but my past wont let me.. My response to fear or danger, is rage. It has been sense then. Its not like it was Shane's fault.. That bubbly girl and him seem to be good friends. I wish I had what they had, but I cant. And probably never will. As I stand here on the Skyboat with Shane and Kyrui, I try my best to relax, so ill head below deck and try to rest.. Even though I know my dreams wont let me. "Siege!" Kyrui's father yelled. "Nice work out there buddy!" I wanna say thank you, I want to let him know that I'm glad he thinks I did well. But a nod is all I can give him. I've spent so long worrying about the welfare of others, but i can show is anger. I lay my head on the bedroll pillow below and rest.. The dream started the same as it always does. Back to when I was a child..

My family all grew up in the Flooded Forests. I had a very large family, and I was the eldest brother. Three sisters, and 4 brothers. My father was a fighter in his younger days, but an injury took him out of that scene. It was probably for the best.. His profession worried my mother. His last opponent shattered his shoulder in the middle of the fight, and he never quite came back from it. Being the oldest son, I took it upon myself to work for my family. Luckily for me, there was no shortage of work in the forests. Fishermen lived very lavish lifestyles due to the amount of fish you could catch. I wasn't as close to my mother as I liked to be.. I was always very busy and got into trouble. My father was a very large man, and many say I took after him. Because of my size, many other children tried to pick fights with me to prove they were stronger. I often let them win, just so they could feel better about themselves. It was a different case with my siblings though.. If any of them had any problems with bullies or things like that, I put an end to them. Violently. Because of my defending of my brothers and sister, I was taken out of school and devoted all my time to work. I would get picked on quite a bit because of my lack of intelligence. Even though I was big, and people thought they couldnt hurt me, i would become very upset when they would insult my lack of schooling. My father was also removed from school as a child because of fighting, so he would talk to me try to cheer me up.

We lived close to the deep water, because it was easier for me to go out to fish that way. My parents moved to help me out a little. As a family project, we all pitched in and build a large fish hatchery in a netted portion of the water where we could farm our own fish. My parents dream was to one day have a successful business where we would never have to travel far to get work. Every so often, the alarm would sound because of a large monster scare and the guild would have to send out hunters to take care of it. Most of the time, it was just a pack of Ludroth, or maybe a Gobul; but on the worst days it would be a Lagiacrus. If I knew the worst day was going to be that day, I would have stayed home with them all..

My mother and I got in an argument early that morning. My youngest sister had a "boyfriend" and I threatened to kill him.. I was joking of course, but his parents thought otherwise and alerted my parents. I became upset, and stomped out of the house. I had a place I would go if I was ever upset. It was a large fallen tree that arched over a rushing creek. I would watch the fish swim upstream during the spawning season, and it always distracted me from whatever was going on. I said some awful things to my mother in a rage.. I sat there for a few hours, thinking about it and after I cooled off, I felt really bad. It was a far walk, so I had a while to rehearse my apology. If I ever made my mother upset, I would have to get through my father first. He was very protective of her feelings.. I planned on dealing with him once i got there. "Im sorry ma, I was stupid." Nah, to simple. "You were right, threatening the life of a possible boyfriend for-" No that sounds stupid.. i should probably refrain from bringing up the whole possible murder thing.. The sharp piercing sound of the large monster alarm stopped me.

I thought nothing of it. Most of the time, It was nothing.. But the rumbling ground made me think otherwise. A large.. Thing hit me in the back, knocking me into the mud, causing my face to be covered and i began to choke. I had picked myself up just fast enough to wipe off my face and see a large, light blue tail trail behind a massive creature behind some large trees. It was heading in the direction of my house. I panicked, and begin calling for my family and running home. I heard my brothers and sisters begin to call out for our parents. Something was very wrong. Pushing the last of the thick bushes out of my way, my house came into view. And there it was. A massive Lagiacrus slithering over the house. Its massive legs crushed part of it as it crawled over the roof. It must have come smelling the fish.. Because of me being out sulking alone, my father had to haul out some of the fish from our fishery by himself.

I had never felt so helpless. I turned and cowered behind a large rock.. It hadn't noticed me yet. I could hear screaming from inside the house.. Someone must had been where the creature had stepped though the roof. My mother was trying to calm down my sibling and trying to lead them out of the large hole in the house.. All but two were there. My two youngest sisters were nowhere to be seen. I was just close enough to see tears streaming down my mothers face.. Had something happened to them? Also my father.. Where was he? The creature was on the backside of the house now, and i could no longer see it.. And then i heard a loud crash. My father had been thrown though the wall with a large sword. It was almost as large as he was. Because of the way he was thrown, the sword bounced and began to spin quickly in the air, and fell on the ground just before my father.. and underneath him. His scream, gargled with blood, snapped me back into reality. He had landed on the blade, next to my mother and siblings. They all ran over to him, my mother leading the way, screaming his name and crying loudly. He held out his hand to stop her, and began to stand up.. The large blade had cut though his back, and down the length of his side, but somehow he managed to pull himself to his feet, blood pouring from his mouth. Some of my siblings didnt know what to do, and stood quiet in shock. The rest just burst out in tears and screams. My mother tried to pull on his arm, attempting to lead him into the trees, but he stood firm, and bent down to pick up the sword again. The Lagiacrus' large head wrapped around the side of the house, its face terribly wounded, and cut. My father had tried to defend everyone but only ended up pissing it off.

I could hear him trying to talk, but only sputters of blood and coughs came from his mouth. My mother wept, and covered her face. He tried lifting the sword into a fighting stance, but his shoulder wouldn't allow it. He never got the tip of the blade off the ground.. I was helpless, but i had to do something. I ran toward them, unable to make any sound. I ran as fast as i could behind my father, trying not to look at his greatly wounded back. Grabbing the handle of the sword from his weak, shaking hands, i charged the creature. I heard nothing. All I could think of was defending my family. With the blade dragging on the ground behind me, I swung with all my might, over my head, and onto the chest of the beast. I wasn't as strong as i am now. The blade cut though the scales, but stopped halfway in, leaving the sword stuck in its chest. It didn't seem hurt at all, and just looked down on my with piercing red eyes. I froze with fear, holding on to the handle. And that's when it happened. Rearing its head back, i could feel it take a deep breath. I heard shouts from my mother. I turned to see her an image that would forever be burned into my mind. My father had collapsed, with my brothers and sisters kneeling around him. My mother was standing, arm outstretched toward me, telling me to run. She was covered in the blood of my father. I looked up to the face of the creature just above me. Blue sparks began to jump from is mouth and back. Letting out a deep, horrible roar, lightning began to leap from it, striking everything around me. The sword, still stuck in its chest, was made of pure steel. And for those who may not know, metal conducts electricity. Horrible searing pain scorched my arm and up my neck. I could feel my skin burn and burst. The surge of its electricity was dulled, because of the sword being connected to it. My muscles stopped working. I couldn't move, and all i felt was horrible, sharp, surging pain throughout my whole body, especially my arm that got drastically burned.

Everything went dark and i fell to the ground. The flesh of my hand was so burned, that only the weight of my body tumbling to the ground was enough to release my grasp of the metal handle. I awoke to the sound of birds. I tried to call out, but the electricity was still surging though my body. Something helped me up. In a seated position on the wet, muddy ground, a fisherman asked me if i was alright. I said nothing. He and his group of workers were walking though the area when they came across me. My eyes widened, and i began to shake. "my family.. where are they.." I asked as i began to look around. They all stood around me trying to calm me down. "No hang on a second son, we need to tell you something" one said. "Please just wait" said another. My strength returned to me and i shoved them all away. And that's when I saw them. My family, all laying on the ground. I rolled to my stomach and began to crawl toward them. They were all gone, there was no doubt about it. My siblings were all laying around my father, they hadn't moved sense i last saw them. But my mother was in a different place. She was much closer to me than before, and laying, arm extended to my direction. Even after our fight, all of the horrible things i said to her, she still tried to help me. I reached out my arm to her, and grabbed onto her hand. "Mom.. I just came to say sorry.." I said, face still down on the ground. "I didn't mean those things I said.. Please say you forgive me.." There was no sound. Even the birds stopped chirping. "Please say you forgive me.." I said again, voice beginning to shake and tears streaming from my eyes. "Please.. Say something mom.. Please.. I'm sorry.." The fishermen came to me to try to pull me away from her.. from my laying position, I turned to kick one of them. I broke his leg, kicking him just above the knee causing his leg to invert. "I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL SHE SAYS SHE FORGIVES ME!" I shouted, my voice overpowering the mans cries of pain.

A brief conversation was had among them and one came up to me again. "Son, you hurt one of our friends and he needs help. You cant stay here alone.. We need to take him away, but we'll be back for you, okay?.." He asked. I said nothing back to him. I hadn't let go of my mothers hand. I needed a doctor as well, my arm had begin to get infected and the pain was almost overwhelming. As they carried their sobbing friend away, i began to weep. My entire family was gone, and I just stood by, afraid to move. I curled my legs up beside me and lay next to my mother. I knew she was gone.. But i couldn't accept the last conversation we had. I was filled with nothing but guilt and sadness. Even my father, who couldn't even hold a sword, tried and died defending them. I made a promise to my mother that night. I would never let anything bad happen to anyone as long as i could still move.

And that's when I wake up. There's that split second just after you wake up where the world hasn't pressed on your soul and you have a brief moment of amnesia. And then it all rushes back and you remember everything. Where you are, what day it is, who you are, and what you've been though. "Siege" He said, "We're here.. And look about what happened to Kyuri.." "Forget it." I interrupted him. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it, it happens sometimes. I just wanted to tell him to be more careful in the future. But as i thought on my words, I thought about my family. And the words that followed were not kind. "If you do anything that stupid again" I concluded, "I'll kill you myself." I was worried I had gone too far.. Was that too much to say to him? Will he just be afraid and leave like everyone else I had been with?" He laughed. "Sounds good to me." He said extending out his hand, "You would probably scare me to death if you did that to me again. Again, I'm sorry. Are we cool?" I just looked at him. This Shane guy was pretty alright. I wanted to smile, but my body wouldn't let me. A simple handshake was all i could offer him. "aaay alright" He cackled, "Ill go get you something to eat.. I'm just worried your'e gunna order like, an entire pig or something. Can you even do that? I wonder how much that would cost.." he continued to ask himself similar questions. If there's anything i noticed about Shane, its that he couldn't shut up if he ever got nervous.

I really hope he doesn't screw up again. Id hate to have to kill him.