Later, Xander heard a knock on his door and got up, smiling. He had a pretty good idea who it was.

When Xander opened the door, his suspicions were proved to be completely correct. It was Rory.

However, Xander hadn't expected her to be wearing an expression that could only be described as angry.

"You can't just do that to someone!" Rory yelled.

Xander frowned, baffled. "Are we talking about something other than what happened at your grandparents' house tonight? Because I iknow/i that you found that hilarious. I could hear you laughing."

"That's not the point. Those are my grandparents we're talking about! And you just humiliated Grandma and made me and Lorelai sit through a ridiculously awkward conversation. You can't just do that!"

"Why not?" Xander challenged. "What's the difference between what I did and snidely insulting me, my road trip and then casually insinuating that I might be a drug addict?"

"So it was just revenge?"

"Nothing as extreme as that. Just call it taking her down a few pegs. Occasionally rich and entitled people need that. Cordy certainly did."

"You know that you're talking about my grandparents here?"

"Why, yes, I am aware of that."

"So you think that I'm just some entitled rich girl?" Rory asked. "Do you think I need to be humiliated too?"

"What? No! Of course not! Rory, I don't understand, where is this coming from?"

"Look, sometimes my grandparents might be really irritating, but they're still my grandparents and I love them. How would you feel if someone started making jokes about your family?"

"iMy/i family? Most of my family consists of drunks and unemployed layabouts. Feel free to start taking shots at them anytime."

"Yeah? Well - don't do that to mine!" Rory concluded lamely.

"Alright, I'll bear that in mind."

Rory shook her head. "God, Xander! I might've expected something like that from Jess, but you?"

Xander, who had up to that point been largely confused by the sudden argument, froze. Not in the sense where he stopped moving, but all expression dropped from his face and he said in an eerily calm, icy voice "Don't talk to me about Jess."

"Why not?" Rory shot back. "That's exactly the kind of thing Jess would've done."

"I am not like Jess, Rory."

"Oh no? Because a prank like that which ends up humiliating people is exactly his style."

"I am not like Jess, Rory."

"Stop saying that! Anyway, I'm not seeing much evidence of that right now, Xander. At the moment, you seem pretty much the same."

"For God's sake, Rory, I am not like Jess!" Xander shouted. "Stop saying that. It isn't true."

Rory flinched at the sudden outburst. "I'm not sure any more." Rory said softly, then turned to leave. She couldn't take this.

"Rory!" Xander called after her. "I am not a rebellious teenager who smokes and causes trouble and gets into fights. I am not the kind of guy who is only nice when the mood strikes him, I am not a psychopath or a murderer and I'm sure as Hell not a rapist!"

"What?" Rory turned around. "Are we still talking about Jess?"

Xander shook his head. "I've seen how guys like Jess end up, Rory. It-I've know someone who started off just like Jess. She ended up killing people. Then there was someone else who could've been Jess' older soulless brother, who killed and tortured and raped God knows how many people. I'm not like that, Rory. I will never be that kind of person."

"Xander-"

"You know what, Rory? If you think I'm like that, then just leave. Go back to your sheltered life with your rich family. Because, yes, you are an entitled rich girl who has had everything handed to her. I had to work for everything I have, and I didn't do that so that people like you could draw similarities between me and lowlifes like Jess."

"That's unfair, Xa-"

"No. It isn't. Good night." Xander said coldly, shutting his door.

Rory stared at it for several seconds, trying to process what had just happened, before she went home.

Lorelai, unlike Rory, hadn't been outraged by what Xander had done. Many times she'd wanted to do isomething/i that would take the wind out of Emily's sails a little. Admittedly, she would've preferred if Xander had done it at the end of the meal when they were about to leave so that they wouldn't have had to endure the uncomfortable conversation that followed, but the she didn't mind that he'd done it.

So she waited at home while Rory went to yell at him for making her grandparents seem like fools. When Rory got back, Lorelai asked "How did it go?"

"Well, I told him not to do it again, and he said he wouldn't."

"That's good." Lorelai said. "But there's something else, isn't there?"

"What? No. That's it."

"Really? So what's with the horse?"

"What?"

"The long face, sweetie."

"Well... I kind of said that he was like Jess. He took offence at that."

"Understandable."

"It kind of turned into a fight about then."

"Bad?"

"Well, I called him Jess, and he called me an entitled rich girl who's never had to work for anything in her life."

"So, do you want the shovel or should I do it?"

"No, Mom. I- he kind of had a point."

"No, he doesn't. Don't think that. I know how hard you worked to get into university, and you got in everywhere you applied. I don't know anyone who works harder than you do."

"Yeah, but it's not like we're paying for Yale. We didn't even pay for Chilton. It's not like I'm such an amazing student that I got a scholarship or anything."

"Stay here." Lorelai said, standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go and beat that abusive son of-"

"Mom! You don't need to do that. It was just a fight. He didn't hit me or anything like that."

"Honey, if he's making you think that about yourself, its still abuse."

"Look, Mom, you don't need to do that. Seriously, you-"

"Yes, I do. If he hurt you, he deserves it."

"Mom-"

"Rory! Stay here while I go and beat Xander to death, okay?"

"Fine!" Rory said exasperated, knowing that she didn't stand a chance of changing Lorelai's mind.

Xander originally had no intention of opening his door, but when the knocking went on and on without a pause he finally sighed, got up and wrenched it open. "Oh. It's you. Come to beat me to death with a shovel, huh?"

"How dare you say that to my daughter!"

"You know, you won't be able to get much power behind your blows while I'm standing in the doorway. Let's go outside, it'll give you more room to swing." Xander said, ushering Lorelai backwards and then shutting his door behind him. "That's better. Come on now, take your best shot."

"Why are you doing this?" Lorelai asked, thrown by his acquiescence.

"Because apparently I'm a good-for-nothing thug destined to be a petty thief and a murderer and I deserve to be put down."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I don't think I stuttered. But what are you waiting for? You've got the shovel. Come on now."

"What do you mean, about being a murdering thug?"

"Ah, so Rory didn't mention that part, then. Or maybe being likened to Jess means something different to you than it does to me."

"Well, it's a lot less offensive than calling my daughter an entitled rich girl."

"Not if you've lived my life, it isn't."

"No? Then why don't you tell me about your life, Xander? Because as far as I'm concerned you're just some great big mystery. I know you've got some massive burn on your chest and that you were involved in something shady back in Sunnydale. Other than that, I don't know a thing. So tell me, what exactly is your life like?"

"Do you want to know? Do you really want to know?" Xander said calmly.

"Yes! That's why I'm asking!"

"Okay then. My best friend was killed when I was fifteen. After that, a few friends and I became... I don't know, I guess vigilantes is the best word. In retaliation, they drowned another one of my friends. She died, technically, and only the fact that I know CPR saved her life. Later, that same friend turned out to be dating a raving psychopath who killed Giles' girlfriend. A year after that, a new girl arrived in town and accidentally killed someone. She went off the deep end and killed another guy too. She ended up nearly killing me. Incidentally, that was the girl that I lost my virginity to. Two years after that, the same friend's mother died from a brain tumour and given that her father seemed to have disappeared off the face of the planet she was left to care for herself and D- her sister, which for various reasons wasn't easy. She was twenty-one at the time. Another one of my friends became an addict, which broke her up with her girlfriend. When she cleaned up her act a little and they got back together again, my friend's girlfriend was shot and killed by a misogynistic asshole who nearly killed another one of my friends. Oh, and the same friend who nearly died and nearly drowned was in a mutually abusive relationship with a guy who tried to rape her. A whole load of other things happened too, but those are the high points. Despite all of that, I graduated high school, maintained a job in construction and even got promoted. So, yes, compared to that your daughter is a rich entitled girl who has never had to work for anything. I have seen people like Jess, and I know how they end up. So likening me to him is a massive insult." Xander said in a bland monotone which only served to make everything he was saying seem just that much worse.

Lorelai's face was chalk white. "I-I don't know what to say."

Xander gave her a twisted smile. "Yeah, the story kind of has that effect on people."

"Is it true?"

"Yes."

"Does Rory know?"

"Yes. She knew way back before we broke up at Christmas. That's kind of why we broke up." iBecause she knows more about what I did than you do, actually./i

"Is that why you didn't want me to stay in Sunnydale?"

"Yes."

"Oh, God."

"Definitely."

"I-"

"Please, save your horror. I've heard everything you can possibly say from Rory. Don't worry about it. It's over now. I'm retired from that kind of thing."

"This place your building, for teenagers, it's for people who've been through the same kind of thing, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"But- you were fifteen!"

"Yes. Yes, I was very young. Please don't make horrified or shocked exclamations."

"How can you be so calm about all of this?"

"Practice. Running around like a headless chicken doesn't help anyone. Ever."

"I-I've got to go. I need to think about this."

"Okay. Goodnight." Xander said pleasantly. "Oh, and Lorelai?"

"Mmm?"

"Tell Rory I'm sorry about what I said. I might've overreacted a little bit."

"Right. Yeah. Okay. Of course."

"Why didn't you tell me!" Lorelai exclaimed the moment that she got home.

"Tell you what?"

"About Xander! He just told me everything."

Rory looked up sharply, alarmed. Surely Xander wouldn't have told Lorelai about demons and all of that? He'd said that he wouldn't. Rory didn't want Lorelai to know about that world. "What did he tell you?"

"That he used to be a vigilante and that he and his friends seemed to live in some kind of catastrophic soap opera where the writers want to put them through as much Hell as they possibly can."

"Oh, that." Rory said, relieved.

"Yes, that! Why didn't you tell me that you're dating Batman?"

Rory laughed despite herself. "Yeah, that's what he said when he told me, too."

"I'm not surprised."

"I would've told you, but... I didn't want to worry you. I broke up with him once before, because I was worried about all the stuff he did. I didn't see the point in putting you through that. And now that he's stopped, there wasn't much point in telling you. I didn't want you to worry about it. And also it's not really my secret to tell."

"That actually makes sense."

"You sound surprised about that."

"No, it's just that I- you're just- you hid it. I guess I should've known that you had a reasonable reason."

"I still should've told you, though."

"Yes, you should've. Well, when Clark Kent comes a-knocking, you can tell me about that."

"Of course. But only if you tell me when Peter Parker comes to the Dragonfly."

"It's a deal."