Chapter Eighteen

Veronica had been back in New York for three days when she got the call from the firm she'd interviewed with before her trip down memory lane. They wanted to see her in person the following afternoon. She agreed to meet at 3 o'clock sharp and wondered vaguely what the hell she was doing as she hung up the phone.

Things had been status quo for the most part since their return. But there was an undertone of restlessness and change that the trip had left in its wake. Veronica would look at Piz for long periods of time and then, when he thought she wouldn't notice, he'd stare at her as well, wondering what was going on in that head of hers.

When Piz got back in from the station that evening, the night before her big meeting at the firm, he listened to Veronica talk animatedly about what she expected to happen the next day. He studied her as she spoke and recognized that something was off. Her words were appropriate but her tone and her expression fell flat.

Thinking back over the last few days, Piz realized much to his chagrin that she'd been more distant than usual since their return from Neptune. He'd never believed before that a high school romance could survive the tests of time. Now, though, he thought of the little experiment that Wallace and Mac had helped him pull off and realized that there must be some things that exist outside of time or space. He looked at Veronica now and knew he'd lost her. No, that wasn't right. He'd never had her.

Stopping her in the middle of her rambling, Piz asked her directly, "Veronica, what are we doing here? Why are we here? Why are you with me when you clearly don't want to be."

His words brought her up short and she blinked in surprise. "What in the world are you talking about, Piz?" Veronica asked, having difficulty connecting what she'd been sharing with what he'd just said.

"I'm talking about us, Veronica," Piz stated calmly but urgently. Shaking his head, he asked again, "Why are you with me or in New York even when it's clear you left your heart back in California?"

Her thoughts churned inside her head. His question seemed to have stunned her to the point of causing her mind to go blank. Why was she here? She asked herself. Then she recalled. 'Oh, right. Independent. Career-oriented. Goals. Hard work. Can't let it all go to waste.' Of course, even as she thought it, she knew it was bullshit. Why was she here? In the end it could only be because of her own stupid pride, her foolish insecurities, and her outright terror at the concept of formulating plans and making concessions in order to have a single solitary person continue to be in her life. How the hell could it ever be ok to need any one person as much as she knew she needed Logan?

Apologetically, Veronica said without meeting Piz's eyes, "There is no us, Stosh. I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore," she motioned between them with her delicate hands.

'Well, he thought ironically, at least now she's being honest.' "Ok," he said slowly, "Does that mean no more couple us or no more roommate us? Cause the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive."

Veronica chuckled appreciatively, thankful that he seemed to be taking this in stride. "Don't worry. I'm not going to leave you high and dry on the roommate front. I'll be staying here for the remainder of my time in New York. I just don't know how long that will be."

Skeptically, Piz tilted his head and studied her with narrowed eyes. "What kind of crazy idea is spinning around in that head of yours?"

Grinning slyly before giving him the ultimate look of unabashed innocence, Veronica said sweetly, "Nothing. Nothing at all. There's just something I have to do, or know rather, before I make my final decision." She couldn't leave, she'd determined, without knowing whether or not she really could have made it in the big leagues. Once she knew that, she could make her choice and never look back. She was sure of it.

The next day, Veronica practically skipped through her morning. After lunch, she started readying herself for her big moment at 3pm sharp. She dressed in her most savvy black and grey business suit and her most comfortable yet stylish black flats. Giving herself one last look in the mirror, she nodded in satisfaction and headed outside to catch a cab to the firm.

At 2:58pm, she was presenting herself to the receptionist in the outer waiting room and was being told to have a seat, the partners would be right with her. At 3:00pm on the dot, the two male partners and one female partner exited from a conference room behind and to the right of the reception desk. They politely and professionally thanked the candidate they'd been meeting with before her and then nodded in her direction, inviting her to join them.

Less than five minutes into the meeting, Veronica's phone began to ring. She frowned and apologized in embarrassment that she'd forgotten to put it on vibrate. She pulled it out to do just that, completely intending to ignore the call but the name of the caller flashing on the screen made her heart race and her face blanche.

"Can you all excuse me for just a few moments? I'm afraid this may be an emergency," she said calmly even though she felt anything but calm.

Startled and clearly taken aback, the three partners nodded hesitantly as Veronica raced to exit the room, not waiting for their permission. She hit the talk button and immediately asked in a panicked tone, "Logan? Is everything ok?"

In a weary and defeated tone that sounded far too distant for her liking, he responded, "I need your help, Veronica."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, she knew exactly what he meant. Hesitantly, she answered with uncertainty, wishing he was asking her for something else. Anything else. "I...don't really do that anymore..."

There was silence between them for what seemed like an endless amount of time as they each struggled with their innermost thoughts. Then, in the blink of an eye, Veronica made a snap decision that somehow felt as if it were sealing her fate for all of eternity.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," Veronica said, her voice confident and sure in a way that it hadn't been in almost longer than she could remember. "There's just one thing I have to finish here first. Then I'll be on the first plane back to L.A., ok?"

"Hurry, Veronica," Logan said with quiet urgency. She could have sworn that his breath hitched in his throat as he spoke. Then, in a nearly strangled tone that made her think he was about to lose his hold on sanity, he added, "And Veronica?" There was a pause as if he were trying to pull himself back together, "Thanks."

The line went dead. Veronica paced a few moments as her mind flew in a million different directions. Then she remembered: she'd left the firm's partners hanging there, waiting in the conference room for her. 'Shit,' she thought to herself before forcing herself to focus. She walked briskly back into the room where the smartly dressed partners were waiting and spoke to them apologetically as she took her seat, "Please excuse my rudeness. As I suspected, it was a call of an urgent nature. I hope you'll understand."

The three nodded but it was the woman who spoke up disapprovingly, "In the future, Ms. Mars, I hope you'll remember that our time is valuable - much more valuable than yours - and hold your personal calls for a more...appropriate...time."

The words grated on Veronica's nerves and suddenly she was glad that she'd be putting this mind-numbingly irritating business of kissing ass behind her.

"Actually," Veronica began, letting out her inner sass and snark, "my time is incredibly valuable to me. In fact, it's so valuable that I'm not going to waste another second here while you drone on and on about how I could make partner in twenty or so years when I already know that, whatever your offer, my answer is no. No, I don't want to kiss ass or sleep my way to the top while defending the assholes I spent my formative years putting behind bars." She stood as she watched the partners clench their jaws and bristle at her words. "Furthermore, I'd like to withdraw my application and resume entirely." She picked up her portfolio and briefcase, preparing to leave. She gave them a tight smile, her eyes flashing coldly, "Don't call me. And I won't call you."

Two hours later, she was back at the flat she'd shared with Piz, hurriedly packing up the essentials of her belongings. She hadn't bothered to call Piz and let him know what was up. She knew he'd be home before she left and this wasn't the kind of thing you explain over the phone.

Her bags were by the door and waiting when Piz walked in from his shift at the station. He glanced down at them in confusion and called out, "Umm, Veronica? Is there something I need to know about?"

She poked her head out of her bedroom and called back, "Yeah. I'm leaving New York."

"Kind of a sudden move, isn't it?" Piz asked as he carefully stepped around the bags and moved cautiously toward her, hoping he wouldn't find that he needed to have her committed.

"Yes, but not soon enough," she replied breathlessly as he neared her door. Finally, she stopped what she was doing long enough to explain, "Logan called. He needs my help."

Everything became instantly clear to him and he nodded knowingly. It actually didn't matter what she would have said after the words 'Logan called'. The result, he knew, would have inevitably been the same.

"Need me to box up and ship the rest of your things?" he asked helpfully.

His reward was a warm smile of gratitude and an impulsive kiss on the cheek as she said, "Yes. That would be wonderful." Then she teased, "See? I knew there was a reason I liked having you around."

"Yeah, just not enough to stay here and marry me," he quipped in a bittersweet tone of acceptance.

"Did you just propose, Piznarski?" Veronica demanded, stopping a moment to narrow her eyes at him before adding, "Because if you did, your timing seriously sucks."

He chuckled in a self-deprecating manner and agreed with a nod, "I know, I know. It's been a blessing and a curse." Seeing she was done with what she'd be able to pack for now, he asked, "What time is your flight?"

"It leaves JFK at 8:45pm," she answered, looking over her belongings and making mental checklists of everything she had and everything she'd need.

"I'll hail you a cab and help get your bags down the stairs," he said, turning to go do just that. Before he reached the door, though, he turned and said sincerely, "It's been a pleasure, Mars. And always a bumpy ride."

With that, he disappeared. When he came back, he said he had a cabbie waiting. Together, they maneuvered her bags down the stairs and into the trunk of the taxi. Then, hugging like the friends they were, they said their goodbyes and she slipped into the front seat beside the driver.

Watching out the window as the now familiar sights and sounds of New York passed her by, Veronica silently bid them farewell. At the same time, a small but excited smile played at the corners of her lips as she thought to herself, 'Hope you're ready for me, California. Veronica Mars is coming home!'