Stage Nine:

I left Gaara lying on the floor. I didn't care if I did damage to him. I didn't care if he tracked me down. I wasn't going to put up with him. Why I did in the first place, I may never understand. Perhaps I was just too upset with myself for caring about Orochimaru. Maybe it was the spinning chaos of my memory that weakened my mind. I never tried to figure out.

I found myself sitting on the mountain ridge that I had climbed on my trip back to Sunagakure. I was looking into the desert night when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Running away from me, Child?"

"No, my Lord, I'm not running from you. I'm sorry, I just wanted answers."

"I have all of the answers. I am your past, Child."

"Not to that, my Lord. I wanted to know about my parents."

Orochimaru sat by me. I noticed that he was wearing his chunin exam disguise. The standard jounin garb enclosed his muscular form. "How did it end for you, my Dear?" he asked.

"I didn't find anything," I lied. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't show him weakness. "I'm not disappointed. I'm just, unsettled. I thought there would be more for me to know, but everything has disappeared."

"I understand," he whispered.

I rested my head on his shoulder. He was stiff, ridged. "Has something else happened to you, Child?" he asked.

I realized that I had made an error. I sat up, pulling away from him. Being away from him had made me softer, more vulnerable than I should be. "I'm sorry, my Lord, I'm just tired. I want to go home. This journey has been long."

"You're far from home," he replied.

I looked at him. He was softer than he had ever been toward me. If anything, he was stricter with me than with anyone else in Otogakure. I just didn't understand. "My Lord, something is different."

"Something is different, Little One." He looked up at the stars. "I knew that one day you'd go back to Sunagakure. Natural curiosity, it gets to us all."

"I thought you'd be angrier."

"You're a woman, Tsuki. You have a right to know. I was angry at first, but it's been a month since you've left, and I realized that I did the same thing."

"If I was Kin, would you be angry?" I asked.

"Kin perished."

I looked at him in shock. "What?"

"She didn't make it through the Chunin Exams. I knew that you and she were close."

"I'm surprised. I wasn't close to her. I don't get attached."

"You do, under the right circumstances."

"Anyone does, my Lord." I looked into his eyes. Either I could take a chance and jeopardize his trust in me, or I just let it pass and live with my own what ifs. Kakuzu had found a few bruises along my neck and jaw. Would that be all that would be found if I revealed what Gaara forced me to realize?

"Something is on your mind, Child."

"Yes, my Lord, there is. However, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it."

"Is there a reason you're not ready? You know you can tell me anything."

"I do know; I just don't know how I feel about it yet. It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust myself to say the right thing."

"How would you say the wrong thing?" he asked.

"I don't talk to people for a reason."

"Why not?"

"The same reason you don't."

"People just don't understand what's going on?"

"That's how I feel anyway. I just don't want to say the wrong thing and offend you." I looked down at the desert below us.

"Is it about me?" he asked.

"No. I just know how relentless you are about hiding things from you. I don't want to do the wrong thing."

"All your life you have done everything for me. I couldn't ask for more," he whispered.

I was confused about him. He wouldn't look at me when he spoke. He was saying things that he would never say. He was being someone I never thought Orochimaru to be. "My Lord, are you upset?" I asked, softly.

"Well, if you're asking if my shinobi are disappointing, if the only one who shows any promise ran away from me and is hiding something, or if you're asking if the container that I so desire has been delayed, then yes." He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "I've tracked you across the River Country, found that you were kidnapped by the Akatsuki, then taken by Gaara. You're hard to find, it was as though you were hiding from me. What happened child."

"I don't understand his use for me. The Akatsuki leader never told me anything. Gaara was just upset when he found out that I was only using him. He was even angrier when he realized that I didn't even care."

Orochimaru's strike came fast. I found myself face up on the rock, looking into his angered eyes from under the mountainous stars. My heart raced, and not because he was mad at me, but because he was beautiful. Every emotion was an extreme with him: anger, frustration, sadness. Would passion be the same?

"You're running from me."

"My Lord," I whispered.

"Don't ever run from me again."

"And if I ran to you?"

He looked into my eyes. "Stand," he commanded.

I did what I was told, only to be pushed against a cliff. "If you wanted to run to me, you'd have come home."

"I should have come home," I answered.

"You will come home."

"I have to, my Lord."

He leaned in toward me. It was something he normally did when he was mad at me and had me pinned. It emphasized his fury. "You disappointed me, child. Why should I let you come back with me? I should kill you for double crossing me."

"I would understand if you did, my Lord. To be honest, I've been expecting it."

"Then you will get what you deserve," he growled.

I reached under his grasp for the gift he gave me long ago. "Well, my Lord, I thought I'd fight you when the time came for you to kill me. I knew then that I wouldn't stand a chance against you, I just didn't want to go without a fight." I sighed and threw the katana and it skidded across the rock. "But now I know that I can't."

"You're weak," he breathed.

"Maybe I'm just strong enough to realize that I don't want to fight you."

"You're something else, Child."

"You're not the first to tell me that." I reached up and placed a hand on his chest. "Kill me if you desire, my Lord."

"You're hiding something from me," he growled. He grabbed my hand and dropped it. "I want to know what it is."

"You know, I don't think it matters," I told him.

He slapped me. "It matters. Don't ever think it doesn't. If I ask for information, never hold back. I want to know what it is."

It was a direct order. I placed my hand back on his chest and looked into his honey golden eyes. "Sensei," I whispered.

His lips met mine. I don't know if he knew, or if he was just drunk that night. His arms enclosed around me, pulling me to him. It was tantalizing bliss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his silky hair cascade around us as he leaned forward. He bit my bottom lip, sending a waterfall of chills throughout my body.

I parted his lips and his tongue met mine. I felt every breath he took, every pulse of his heart. I had twisted my back handed slap of reality into a fantasy that I never wanted to escape. Normally I would be afraid of the future, but I figured that I would worry later.

He had such hunger. I never thought of Orochimaru as one to have physical needs. He was more of a man than I had realized. He's been violent to me many times before, but I never understood why he was so quick to fight. Now I realized that it was his pleasure. It was his passion.

"Tsuki," he whispered, "how long?"

"I don't know," I answered.

He quickly flicked his tongue against mine once more. "I can make you a woman," he breathed. His hand traced the hem line of my skirt as be buried his head at the nape of my neck, nicking and sucking with expertise.

"My Lord," I whispered.

He thrust me against the rock wall and whispered, "You would be a wonderful woman to have." He pressed his body to mine, and god was he hard. I groaned against his pressure. He was torture; pure, aggressive, beautiful torture that even Gaara would be ashamed of.

"Orochimaru," I sighed. I was no novice at seduction. He had ordered it many times when he thought it was the way to get what he wanted from others. I slid my hand down from his neck to the zipper of his vest, pulling it down until it unlatched. I pushed it over his broad shoulders, hearing it drop to the ground.

"Damn you Child, look at what you have done to me. I should have known that someday you would turn on me," he growled. He kissed me roughly, gathering the fullness of my breasts in his hands.

I traced my nails down his chest, feeling him flex below my touch as so many had done before. They didn't taste like he did, they didn't command me like he has, and they couldn't hope to have me like he does. I slid my tongue between his lips. He met me with hunger once more, squeezing my chest.

"My Lord, this isn't like you," I whispered. Something was wrong, and I couldn't just accept his reaction.

"I'm not sorry," he breathed.

It clicked for me. I slid my hand down his thigh, scratching through the fabric of his pants. His lips touched mine once more, though they didn't render the same reaction from me as before. I opened the kunai pouch and pulled out one of the knives. His tongue pressed against mine as I rested my hand on his shoulder, still holding the weapon.

I flicked my wrist and stabbed the impostor. I heard the splinter of wood before he screamed and knew that my accusations were correct: this wasn't Orochimaru at all. I spun and kicked him in the chest, knocking Sasori backwards. He looked up at me and spat, "You saw through me."

"Orochimaru would never say that he isn't sorry. You almost had me fooled."

Sasori grinned. "I've known him for years. He isn't hard to impersonate. You almost had me convinced that you thought he was a bastard. Turns out that you loved the monster all along." He grabbed my katana and laughed softly. "This is a beautiful weapon. No doubt, he gave it to you. Why shouldn't he? Orochimaru is still a man, and any man who looks at you and doesn't want you beneath him isn't a man at all."

I summoned the sword out of his hands, disgusted by his words. "A man can control himself, unlike you." I quickly pulled hand signs that were instinct for me, summoning Fire Release: Flame Flower. Instantly three balls of fire came down upon Sasori, engulfing him in an inferno.

I quickly ran from the scene, feeling violated and quite dirty. Having met Sasori opened my eyes about what I was doing, even if it was him who said it. I had to go home, and my home didn't lie with Sunagakure.

I was sitting against a bookshelf when Kabuto walked in, going over the notes of what happened at the Chunin exams.

"My Lord, The River Country is requesting payment."

"Payment for what," Orochimaru asked.

"Invasion of the Akatsuki, and from what their letters said, the Akatsuki is looking for her." He pointed to me, thinking that Sensei would think they were talking about Tayuya or someone else around here.

"I am aware of their interest in her. However, I am not providing funds. I am not at fault for their quest to find her."

"Should I reply?" Kabuto asked.

"No, let them hire someone else to handle it. They are of little concern to me."

"I would just hand them the girl."

"Out of the question." Orochimaru looked at him with annoyance.

Kabuto walked out of the room. "Are you sure that ignoring the River Country is the best idea?" I asked. "They could be a good ally to have."

"Potentially, yes," he answered, "but they are not a ninja country, nor do they have any military power. They are nestled between the Leaf and the Sand, with no valuable resources that I could use. They are a peaceful country, and not of my interest. Don't question my decision again."

"I won't, my Lord."

I was thankful that it wasn't Orochimaru who met me in the mountains, but knowing that the entire Akatsuki was looking for me, I then knew that Sasori was being used for what he truly is: a puppet. Pein sent him to me, and only Pein knows why. I don't understand why I am so damn important, but I can't ask Orochimaru for answers without making up a complete lie. I will never lie to him, but I will hide from his wrath.

My only punishment for running turned out to be a mild one: I couldn't leave his sight. I was bored, which turned out to be the whole punishment in itself. He would work in his study, going over paperwork, scrolls, and books. If he wasn't there, he dragged me to the lower levels to over see his endless experiments. They were gruesome, but I didn't mind. I passed my time reliving Sasori's invasion, only imagining that it was really Orochimaru who kissed me so wildly.

"Tsuki," Orochimaru hissed.

I was snapped back into reality when I stupidly replied, "What?" Having realized my error before he got angry, I quickly added, "My Lord, I was lost in thought."

He beckoned for me to come forward. "What do you see child?"

I peered into the microscope. I saw little red cells dividing rapidly beneath the lense. "I see increased cell turnover, rapid cell decomposition, and loss of mitochondria activity," I answered. "What am I looking at, my Lord?"

"It is a complex jutsu on muscle cells, causing them to break down and spread their genes to their daughter cells. Within twenty-four hours, the entire body will diminish and die, due to loss of protein."

"Could this jutsu be altered for medical purposes to allow for the growth of muscle mass, instead of losing it?" I asked, looking up from the eye piece.

"Absolutely, if you have the power to do so."

"So it would be likely that only you could reverse the effects of this jutsu?" I asked.

"Highly," he answered. He rested one hand beside me and leaned over my shoulder to look at the sample.

His hair brushed my shoulder, sending shivers through me. It was just as silky, if not more than Sasori's portrayal of him. I absent mindedly ran my fingers through it, to find his hand at my wrist, gripping it with enough pressure to make it go numb. I knew that it was a mistake. It was careless.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

"I don't know what came over me."

His golden eyes glared into mine, reflecting back my own astonishment at my mistakes. I am careless. My eyes were forced open, and I couldn't shut the images out.

I shifted away from him, looking away from his eyes, focusing on his markings. I could feel his stare burn into me, searching for my reason. Not even I could find it.

He brought my body close to him, pressing me to his chest. He lowered his head to my neck, I could feel his breath on my skin. I felt the goose bumps rise all over me. I tried to move away, and he let go of my wrist to hold my neck in place. I closed my eyes, watching my memories of Sasori play through my head, but I tried to press them out.

His lips brushed my skin. I could feel my pulse against him. My head was clouded; I couldn't predict what he was about to do until he did it.

I felt the sharp stinging pressure of my skin puncturing. I didn't utter a sound. Every three months this would happen, and every three months I would stand and take the pain. His venom coursed through my veins, searing my nerves with the burning of a thousand flames.

His venom always intoxicated my mind. I felt his flesh underneath my palm, I felt my nails digging into his hand, still holding my neck. I was trapped in his bite, and he refused to let go.

One of the first things that I learned from Orochimaru was the growth of snakes. A young snake is the most dangerous, because if it is venomous, it has no control of the amount that is transferred into the bite. However, a fully adult snake can control the amount it produces and gives. It is even possible to get bitten without any venom being delivered.

I had gotten bitten over twenty times by various pit vipers and cobras. Three of those bites were registered as having no venom. I remember him holding my hand out, forcing me to become a victim of life threatening paralysis, but in the end, he proved that I could trust him to make sure that nothing came of it.

Every time I receive one of his curse marks, I relive those days. I understand that, even though it will be gone in two hours, he is only doing this for my good.