Stage Ten: Venom
I woke up on the exam table where I was studying the effects of mitochondria-less muscle cells. Orochimaru was reading over some paperwork, but noticed when I woke up.
"How long was I asleep?" I asked.
"Three hours. The venom is gone."
I have always wanted to ask this question. "Why do you inflict the curse marks, if you know the venom fades?"
"To study you," he answered.
That explains why I always woke up on a table with him reading the same notes. "I'm just an experiment?" I asked.
"Yes and no," he replied, "you are a mystery that I need to solve, but you have far more uses than just being an experiment."
"I have been here for nearly ten years and you still haven't figured out why the venom fades?"
"If I had, I would have altered it to keep you under control."
"I am under control," I answered.
He gripped my wrist again, and forced my hand over his. I felt the wounds that I inflicted. Under my palm I felt him healing himself. "It was a reaction."
"You have gotten weak," he whispered. "You can't even fight me."
"When I was gone, I realized that I don't want to fight you." The answer slipped from my lips before I could get a hold of what I had just said.
He looked me in the eyes, confusion etched into his face. "I taught you to be a fighter. Why would you go against that?" His tone was curious, versus the anger that I thought he would have had toward me.
"You're not angry?" I asked.
"When injected with venom, I have noted that its only effect alters your state of mind. It acts as a drug to you. It calms you down, then brings you into a sleep that doesn't render your chakura pressure out of control. One of the many things I desire to understand is how it effects you thinking."
"I feel more alert when I wake up, not really rested. My mind feels like it was freed from some restriction."
Orochimaru wrote quickly while I spoke, making note of these things. "And during the infliction?"
"I can't think; I can barely move. It doesn't really hurt, beyond the initial bite."
He wrote some more notes. "Anything else that you feel?"
"A bond, I guess." That was a stupid remark and I knew it. I could only hope he would treat it like a reaction to a drug: not my real thinking.
"A bond as in how?" he asked.
"I don't know how to describe it."
"Affection?" he asked, almost leading me into a corner.
I felt trapped. "I really don't know what that's like," I answered.
"Trust?" he asked, trying for another direction.
"My Lord, do you remember when you forced me to undergo that experiment with the snake venom?"
"Quite clearly," he answered.
"I distinctly remember that, every time you bite me I relive the snakes, the feeling of their various venoms coursing through my hand and arm. I remember you extracting the venom from me. That lesson wasn't just about snakes for me, it was a lesson in trust. Every time you ask me to do something I think is dangerous, or even stupidly suicidal, I remember those days when I would be subjected to bite after bite, only to trust your better judgement."
"So you do feel trust."
"I always trust you, my Lord. I just feel that trust strengthen every time you grant me the mark."
"How do you rest?" he asked, shifting the subject.
"I don't know if I dream," I answered, "and I don't feel sorrow or anger. I don't know if I'm rested, but I feel peaceful when I wake up."
For a moment I heard scratching on the paper and nothing more. I could hear his breathing, and then his heart beat. I could smell the faint smell of his skin: a musky smell. I could see the rising and falling of his chest, the subtle movement of his hair stirring over his shoulder as he looked at me.
"Is there anything else?" he asked me.
"Nothing else," I answered.
"Is there something bothering you?"
"No, I'm just gathering my senses."
"Your senses, is something off?" he asked, concerned.
"No, I just feel strange. I don't sleep, and I'm not adjusted to waking up. It's disorienting for me. I know that you don't wake up all the way alert, but for me, it's unbearable."
"You said that you feel more alert when you wake up."
"I feel more alert when the drowsiness wears off. I don't know if that's because I am comparing it to the sleepy feeling or if I am more alert because of the venom, but that's my reaction."
"How do you feel now?" he asked.
"I feel normal now."
"The high has worn off?"
"Yes, if that's what you want to call it."
"Do you think it would help your insomnia?" Orochimaru asked abruptly.
"It forces me to sleep, but I'm not sure I would give up my insomnia. It keeps me alert and allows me to make use of eight hours that I feel would be wasted."
"You don't feel that the lack of sleep harms your health?"
"I haven't slept regularly in ten years. I am doing fine now."
"Then how do you know that you can't benefit from it?"
"Are you saying that you want to start an experiment on me?"
"I want to observe your performance under the influence of sleep, and under the influence of my venom."
"Couldn't that spark a dependency on the intoxication? An addiction is the last thing that I need. You rely on me to be alert. I don't want to be worried about when I can get my next dose."
"It will be controlled. You won't be leaving my sight for the next three months, Child. Why not use it to better my understanding of you?"
"I am concerned about the addiction that may stem from this."
"If one forms, I'll slowly step you down. You will be in no danger my Child."
"I still am not sure about this. It's not you that I don't trust, my Lord. It's my reaction and the change in behaviour."
"You won't leave my sight. No matter what your reaction, you will be safe." He walked out of the room, finalizing his decision. I was there when he bit Anko, Kimimaro, and Tayuya. None of them could sustain the pain of the venom. I would be subjected to it once a week for the first month, every other day for the second, and every night for the third, just to have the process reversed after the testing was done.
I followed him out of the small experimental room, questioning all the possible outcomes of this testing. None of it seemed like something I would do, but then again, no one seems to be themselves when on a drug.
That Night:
I found myself in Orochimaru's chambers with him sitting on the floor with two cups and a bottle of sake in front of him. He was quite coherent, so I had figured that he hadn't touched the alcohol yet.
"Kabuto said you summoned me, my Lord," I stated as I stepped through the door.
"I did. You and I need to discuss your terms of the experiment."
"And the sake?" I asked, out of curiosity.
"Part of the terms," he answered. "I need to know how much you can consume."
"Why are there two saucers?"
"One should never drink alone," he grinned.
I sat across from him, and watched him pour our first round. The milky white liquid was a bitter relief. I watched Orochimaru sip his serving in silence. He watched me without saying a word. I was watching him with equal reserve.
Within three drinks, the space between us had closed and we were laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. His cold laughter seemed to warm me up. I rolled on my side and looked at him. Somehow his yukata opened to reveal the pale skin of his chest. His muscles were defined.
Not knowing what would stop me, as he seemed to be in a good mood and neither of us would remember this in the morning, I placed my hand on his chest. He looked me in the eyes and sat up.
I pulled my hand away, but he covered it with his, holding it to his chest. He wrapped an arm under me, leaning forward. I moved my hand from his chest to his neck as he used his arm to support himself over me. I ran my fingers through his hair and found out why he had grabbed my wrist so tightly the first time.
His eyes closed and a look of bliss washed over his face as I gently pulled through the silky raven strands. Once free of my grasp he looked at me with calmness in his eyes. He clutched my side as I ran my fingers through his hair once more, the same look of pleasure came from him as well as a sigh.
With his arm under me, he pulled me beside him, sitting up. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling my body to his. Before I knew it, I was sitting on his lap. I could feel him beneath me, pulsating steadily, rapidly. Sasori had underestimated him. He was buried in my neck, biting and sucking gently. I couldn't take it anymore. The longing had become too powerful to bear.
His hands pushed up my shirt, just enough to expose my abdomen. He caressed my skin lightly, sending shivers through me. Everywhere he touched seemed to be on fire. His skin smelled like pure, undiluted lust. I could see the rage in his eyes. I could feel his hunger.
My mouth became dry as I studied him. I licked my lips, igniting some trigger in his mind. I felt his lips pressed to mine, so soft and gentle. He tasted of the alcohol, but also a sweet underlying flavour met my senses. He bit my lower lip lightly. I felt a cascade of shivers flow through me. No man had such power over me, not even when Sasori tried to fool me.
He parted my lips and flicked his tongue against mine and I erupted with desire. With each movement I needed him, wanted nothing more for him to flip me over and command me, all of me.
Even though I knew his need was great, he was slow and methodical. I was at his disposal, all he had to do was shift under me ever so slightly and he could take me right there. He didn't. He would rest his hand on my thigh and push my skirt up slightly, rubbing the flesh, or skim up my shirt and massage the bud of my breast. I wanted to be moved by him, to feel his longing.
He took a hold of me by the waist and moved me to the wooden floor. He placed his hand above my knee and slid up, toward the heart of my passion. He didn't stop until he was under my skirt, caressing my inner core. Each stroke of his finger shot through me, every slide of his hand brought more need.
I pushed the pale fabric over his shoulders and watched it slide down to his forearms. He leaned over me, ceasing his gentle touches and looked me over. He pressed his lips to mine with rough desire, sending my mind into a frenzy.
My mind was clouded by the sake. I could hear Sasori's taunting. "Orochimaru is still a man, and any man who looks at you and doesn't want you beneath him isn't a man at all." I was sickened at the thought of Sasori's manipulation. Orochimaru wasn't that kind of fool, although here he was, slowly seducing me out of my mind.
He lifted my chin to meet his kiss. Without breaking away, he slowly began to stand, guiding me to my feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and locked lips with him, licking his lower lip. He backed me to the wall, pinning me in place with the weight of his body.
The Next Morning:
I woke to find myself alone and hooked up to machines in the medical wing. I could hear faint breathing next to me, and found Kimimaro beside me. It was just a dream. Nothing happened between Orochimaru-Sensei and myself. It was so real, I could really feel him.
"You're awake?" Kimimaro asked. His voice was bored, weak, and monotonous.
"I am," I answered. "How did you know?"
"Your eyes were open," he stated. "It's been a while since I've seen you."
"Orochimaru has kept me busy," I answered.
"Last I heard, you went back to Suna."
"Kabuto told you, didn't he?" I asked.
"He did." Kimimaro looked at the monitors he was hooked up to and sighed.
He and I were never close. We nearly hated each other. Ever since he was diagnosed with his disease, he always had me pegged as his replacement in Orochimaru's eyes. Orochimaru had a grand plan for our future. With Kimimaro's physical perfection and my unique chakura, our children were supposed to be the ultimate warrior. Now that his body was disintegrating before all of our eyes, Orochimaru gave up on that hope.
"Tsuki," Kimimaro sighed, "Have you ever thought about death?"
"Nearly every day I have thought about dying, and what happens after we die."
"Why do you think about death?"
"I wonder what happened to my family, or what would happen if I had died along side them." I wouldn't tell him that I knew Orochimaru was going to kill me.
"You wouldn't be here if you had."
"I don't know if that would be a blessing or a curse," I sighed.
"Sometimes I wish I had never fallen for his lies. I feel as though I was discarded, and replaced," he spat.
I pulled the wires off of my body and got up. "I could never replace you. I'm not you, I don't have your kekigenkai."
"You have my strength."
"Only my chakura is stronger. My body is weaker than yours."
"Not now it isn't," he sighed.
I took his hand, not knowing what else I should say.
He looked at me. "You didn't have to do that. You don't have to stay here. I'm sure Orochimaru has need of you."
"Not for a while, he doesn't."
He closed his eyes. I felt his fingers thread through mine, though only the monitors broke the silence. I sat on the bed beside him and stroked his hand softly. He was the only person I could trust when I had first met him. Even though we never got along, we always had a respect for each other. Things truly aren't the same without him. I couldn't imagine what life would be like with him gone.