AN: hey sorry it's been so long but life kinda got in the way anyway her's the new chapter WARNING: lots of whump it's not a happy chapter but i think it works please let me know what you think it helps me write also this was written late so let me know if you spot any mistakes thanks enjoy :)

Fights and friendship

The rest of the afternoon was spent discussing the particulars of Morgana's army and Merlin arguing with the young dragons about fighting alongside the knights. The group now knew that Morgana would attack in about two weeks' time with an army of at least 7000 soldiers and a dozen sorcerers. The thought alone was enough to make Arthur feel sick.

It was just as the sun was starting to set that the knights and Merlin headed back to the village they had agreed to meet up with the dragons when they returned to Camelot to further discuss their preparations.

On the ride back Merlin kept noticing the looks he was getting from the other knights, he noted, thankfully, that they were mostly just curious however he didn't miss the look of pure hurt and betrayal in Arthur's eyes and it was enough to make him wish the ground would swallow him whole just so he didn't have to see it.

When they reached the village Arthur informed them that the beasts had been taken care of and they were in fact a type of wyvern which could easily have been mistaken for a dragon. This was a story they had all previously agreed on to avoid question that they didn't want to have to answer just yet.

As the group settled down for the night Arthur, for what felt like the millionth time that day, lost himself in his thought. He thought about Morgana and how the news of her attack so soon after the last one, scared him even if he would never show it, he thought of his father and wondered how he would react if he knew Arthur was considering working with dragons. He would probably have him thrown in the dungeons yelling enchantment. And finally he thought of Merlin and all the anger he'd kept in all day rose to the surface, Merlin had lied to him for four years, how much did he truly know about Merlin.

Realising he wasn't going to get any sleep he left the small room and crept out into the night air simple walking with no destination in mind, but one thing kept plaguing him and it wasn't the lying it was that Merlin hadn't trusted him. That hurt more than anything.

"I'm so sorry Arthur"

Arthur was jolted out of his thoughts by the very person he'd been thinking of and suddenly the dam broke. "SORRY! You lied to me Merlin for four years, FOUR YEARS. I trusted you completely you know me better than anyone and all you can say is SORRY!" at the end of his tirade Arthur visually deflated, he was angry yes but mostly he was upset and he felt like yet another person had betrayed him.

"Why?" he had meant for it to come across as demanding but even he could not deny the desperation in his tone. "Why did you lie to me, not tell me."

When he looked up he saw his own sadness mirrored in Merlin's eyes but he also saw guilt. So much guilt. He was glad for the late hour as it meant no one was witness to something so personal.

"I was scared." And there it was an answer so honest so Merlin that had this been any other situation Arthur would have laughed and told him to stop being such a girl, but instead he was almost offended.

"Did you think I would kill you Merlin? Do you really think so low of me?" the anger was gone, only sadness and betrayal left.

"NO! not now at least." To Arthur Merlin's tone sounded as desperate and as lost as he felt.

"At first it was fear for my life, yes. Back when I didn't know you but now…" Merlin trailed of unsure how to finish.

For a few moments they just stared at each other both afraid to make the next move, as if breaking the silence would shatter them both, but finally Arthur had, had enough he needed answers and if Morgana was going to attack he didn't have the luxury of time. "But now what Merlin?"

"But now… I didn't want …this." At Arthur's confused expression he continued "I didn't want you to hate me and I didn't want you to choose. I saw you back there. I know you're worried about what your father would think and your first reaction when you figured out I had magic, it was anger Arthur. I didn't want that, to be the reason for that."

Finally Arthur understood, he certainly didn't like it but he could understand. Everyone in Camelot is taught to hate, despise and fear magic from a young age, their told it's evil and those that practice it should be killed, Arthur himself had voiced his prejudice for magic several time to Merlin, said to him that sorcerers were evil and on many times had supported his father's decisions. So no he didn't like this, any of it but he could understand.

Arthur looked at Merlin in a new regard wondering how much the young man had gone through how much fear he had felt b simple being in the same room as him and his father, then a question entered his mind, magic users hated the Pendragons' so why had Merlin saved him why did he not hate them?

"You're going to tell me everything Merlin, no more secrets no more lies, if I am to ever trust you as I did before I need to know, even if I don't like what you have to say I need to know, to understand." It wasn't harsh but it wasn't kind either it just sounded tired.

And so Merlin told his story. He told Arthur of being born with magic, growing up in fear always keeping it a secret. He told him how Will had found out and his mother got scared so sent him Guise to learn how to control his gift. He explained everything from when the great dragon told him of his destiny, all the times he saved Arthur, he even spoke of the questing beast and the complicated problem dealing his life away had caused. He spoke of Freya, how he felt responsible for Morgana's fall into darkness and even releasing the dragon. At this Arthur's face contorted into an expression Merlin couldn't quite decipher but to his immense credit Arthur didn't interrupt. Merlin told Arthur about his father and all the trouble Morgana's return had brought. He did as Arthur asked and left nothing out.

The two sat there for hours as Merlin told his story, Arthur never once interrupting of asking one of the thousands of questions the tale had left him with and to be quite honest even with all these questions when Merlin finished he didn't know what to say he was horrified, for the secrets Merlin had lived with, awed by what his scrawny manservant had done and was capable of doing and shocked by everything he simply hadn't know.

Eventually he stood up, looked at Merlin and said the only thing he could at that moment "I don't hate you Merlin and I would never hand you over to my father if not because of all you've done but because despite not knowing a lot I know you're not evil. I don't hate you, but I need some time to think."

Merlin nodded, a sad smile on his lips he could give him time and simply knowing he wasn't hated relived some of his worry, made him feel a little better. He still hoped that Arthur would forgive him entirely one day and that they could regain their friendship but for now he would give him space and would use the time to find a way to thwart Morgana and do what he's always done protect his friends and his home.

AN: Hope you enjoyed please Review remember I do take suggestions Thanks :)