All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.
No copyright infringement is intended.
HUGE thanks to my betas darcysmom and twimom817 as well as my pre-reader EdwardsMyObsession1971. Without them this wouldn't be readable.
A/N: Okay … y'all won out. How silly of me to attempt to leave ya on a cliffie ;) So … here's the deal – y'all get this now but there won't be an update on Monday. Chapter 20 will be EPOV and it's his side of things from 18 & 19 – so it's not new material - just his perspective on things. You can wait 2 weeks for that right? I'm as bad as a little kid, I'd love to update everyday but my poor beta's need time to catch up to where I've written. So the next update will be January 21st.
When You Least Expect It
Chapter Nineteen
Unwanted
"Are you sitting down?" Victoria asked.
"Should I be?"
"It probably won't be a bad idea, Bella."
"Victoria … just tell me. It's like ripping off a Band-aid."
"He didn't contest it. Mike agreed to every dime of the alimony."
"What about the custody?"
"I was getting there," Victoria laughed. "Mike Newton is a definite piece of work, Bella. He signed full custody over to you and requested to give up his parental rights."
"What?" I asked, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Kaden's all yours, Bella."
The gravity of Victoria's words tugged at my very soul. Mike really didn't want Kaden. I had to wonder if he ever did or just went through the motions to appease me.
"Bella?" Both Alice and Victoria asked.
"Yeah? Sorry …."
"I'm taking this over to the court house now. I'll be in touch when I know more."
I felt dumbstruck as I ended the call. I found a bench and sat down – my head falling to my hands and the tears flowing freely.
Alice sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me as I cried.
"What can I do for you, Bella?" Alice asked, panicked.
"I need to go home," I whispered.
The next thing I knew, Jasper was pulling up to the curb and hopped out, helping Alice into the car.
"Come on, B. Let's get you home," Jasper murmured as he picked me up in his arms and gently sat me in the backseat of his car.
I barely heard Alice call my dad and ask him to pick Kaden up from school.
"Ali, ask him to bring Kaden home, please."
I wanted to be with my son. I wanted him to know that he was wanted and so very loved. It hurt me deeply to know that Mike wanted nothing to do with our son.
Jasper and Alice stayed with me for the rest of the afternoon, and while Alice and I prepared dinner, Jasper played outside with Koda and Kaden.
"You guys are going to be just fine, Bella."
"I know," I nodded minutely.
"So now what?"
"We wait for the judge to sign off on it I guess. I had no idea it would be this simple. I thought for sure that Mike would fight me tooth and nail to get joint custody."
"Bella … I know it sucks but this is a good thing. Kaden won't be shuffled around and he won't be near Mike's girlfriend. The fact that you two aren't together anymore will be hard enough for him to understand without the suggestion that you've been replaced."
I couldn't deny that Alice's words stung no matter how much truth they held.
I watched as Jasper and Kaden horsed around in our backyard. Jasper pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled away from Kaden slightly as he spoke.
"Jazz will be a good dad," Alice mused.
"He's so good with Kaden. I'm so glad he's a part of Kaden's life." I sniffled.
Jasper and Alice didn't linger long after dinner. They left Kaden and me to have some quiet time together. We put on our pajamas and curled up on the couch to watch a movie. I relished in the feel of his little body snuggled up to mine – I knew the day would come all too soon that he'd be too old to curl up with me.
Once Kaden was tucked snugly into bed, I decided that I better try to get a couple loads of laundry done. I put in a movie while I waited and settled onto the couch with a warm cup of tea.
I was woken by Koda barking and someone banging on my front door. I had no idea how long I'd been asleep, but the TV screen was blue. Koda was going crazy with the insistent knocking on the door.
"Koda! Shh! Go to bed!" I said firmly, pointing to her bed.
I swung open the front door only to come face to face with Edward. He appeared disheveled – his clothes wrinkled, his hair in disarray – even messier than usual, and dark circles beneath his eyes.
"Edward … what are you doing here?"
"Bell … ahh … I … missed you," Edward slurred as he leaned heavily on the door jamb.
"Oh, Edward … you're drunk. How did you get here?"
"Took a cab … but shhhh … don't tell Jasper. He'd be pissed if he knew I was here."
"He's not the only one, Edward." I sighed. "Come on in."
I stood back as he stumbled through my front door and into my condo. He stopped short at the sight of Koda standing in the entrance to the hallway, growling at him.
"She won't hurt you – she just doesn't know you," I reassured him.
I glanced at Koda and pointed to her bed. She looked at me a moment before retreating to her corner.
"Bella … I've missed you … soooo much."
Edward attempted to close the distance between us but he was having trouble staying vertical. I grasped his arm and tried to steady him.
"Okay, big boy. Let's get you into bed and you can sleep it off, okay?"
"Bella …" Edward whined. "I don't want to lose you again."
"I'm not going anywhere, Edward. I'll still be here when you wake up."
I walked him down the hallway and into my bedroom. I could have let him sleep on the couch but that would raise questions with Kaden in the morning so I opted to put Edward to sleep in my bed and I'd take the couch.
"Sit down and I'll help you take off your shoes," I said softly.
"Bella …."
"Edward, we'll talk tomorrow. I'm tired and you're drunk. That could be a bad combination."
"Okay … but you're not going anywhere right?"
"No, Edward … I'll be right out in the living room if you need anything, okay? Now get comfy while I grab you a bottle of water and some aspirin, okay?"
I was only gone from the room for a few minutes at most, but when I came back, Edward was in bed fast asleep. He had shed his jeans and sweatshirt, opting to sleep in his boxer briefs and t-shirt. I pulled the blankets up over him and took a moment to take him in. It had been so long since I'd last seen him and even then with sadness all over his face, he was beautiful.
"Goodnight, Edward," I whispered as I brushed a stray hair from his face.
I turned off the light and left the room closing the door behind me. I peeked in on Kaden and was relieved that he'd slept through Koda barking and me getting Edward tucked into bed. I pulled a couple extra blankets out of the hall closet and settled myself in on the couch.
I fell asleep quickly – the events of the day swirling in my head and spurring on the strangest of dreams.
The next morning, I was up early. I knew Kaden would be up by seven and I had to get him ready for school. I phoned my dad to see if he would mind taking Kaden to school for me.
"I'm sorry, Dad. Something came up that I need to take care of this morning and I need you to take him to school for me."
"Sure thing, Bells. Though I hope picking him up won't be a problem for you. I have a doctor appointment this afternoon and I won't be able to pick him up."
"No, Dad that won't be a problem. Can you pick him up at nine?"
"Yep. I'll see you two then."
I managed to get Kaden up and dressed with fairly little resistance. I had plenty of time to make chocolate chip pancakes – Kaden's favorite. Dad came over with a few minutes to spare and I quickly told him about my phone call from Victoria the day before.
"That son-of-a ..."
"Dad …" I chastised.
"No, Bell. Who does that to their kid?"
"I know, Dad."
"Damn, baby girl," He said pulling me in to a hug. "I'm so sorry."
I walked Kaden out to dad's truck and buckled him in.
"Bye, Little Bear. Have a good day at school."
Kaden waved and I promised him I'd see him afterschool. I went back inside after they drove away and went on with my morning chores. I was sitting on the couch folding clothes when Edward emerged from the bedroom.
"Hey," he smiled sheepishly.
"Hey. Are you feeling better?"
"I'm not drunk anymore if that's what you're asking. Bella … are you mad that I came over last night?"
I thought about my response and struggled to keep my anger in check. Now in the light of day – I was beyond mad.
"What were you thinking coming over here like that? I mean, Jesus, Edward. It was late and you were drunk. You could have woken Kaden up …."
"I'm sorry, Bella. I completely forgot about the dog. It's just that … Jazz told me about the divorce and custody thing and I wanted to see you. Jazz asked me to wait, but I couldn't. I've missed you so much, Bella."
I finished the last of the clothes and placed them all back into the basket.
"Edward …" I sighed. "I'm angry that you came over without calling first and I'm even angrier that you came over drunk. Kaden could have seen you like that and that … is not okay. I don't want him exposed to that."
"Jesus, Bella … I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about it. I was worried about how upset you were after talking to your lawyer. Jasper said you were heartbroken when you found out."
"Edward, whenever a child is involved you have to think about your actions. I can't make choices on a whim … I have to think about Kaden."
Edward nodded.
"When you left that day, I was devastated. I missed you the moment you walked out the door. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until you weren't there anymore. Bella … you're an amazing person – you offered me comfort when I needed it most – expecting nothing in return. You listened to me with an open mind and without judgment. I needed that as much as I needed your quiet encouragement. You were the one person outside of my security and assistants I thought I could trust."
He looked completely broken in that moment – every last one of his walls down. He was being painfully honest with me and for a moment, I hated seeing the pained look on his handsome face.
"Bella … please, tell me why you left the way you did. Tell me what I did wrong to make you leave like that."
Edward was breaking my heart. We'd gotten to know each other since he'd gone to Australia and I knew it would be easy for me to fall for someone like him if I were given the opportunity to spend more time with him in person.
"It was wrong of me to tell you that I would have liked to pursue more with you, Edward. Until the judge signs those final papers, I'm married. Honestly, when it comes down to it – I'm scared. Scared of what happens when I can offer myself to you. What happens when you get bored with me? Because, if you want me that means you want my son. I'm scared of him getting close to you only to have you change your mind. We aren't accustomed to the lifestyle that you live. I don't know how we could possibly fit into it."
I bit my lip to keep from saying anymore and to mask the shakiness in my voice.
"Bella … how could you possibly think I would get bored with you?"
"Mike did," I whispered.
"Oh, Jesus … Bella," Edward sighed, raking his hands through his already unruly hair. "I'm not Mike. I've known you six months, and yet I can't imagine my life without you. Even if we only remain friends, I want you in my life."
As he spoke, Edward moved closer to me and I could tell by the way he clenched his fists that he was aching to reach out to me. I allowed him to draw closer until he took my hand in his.
"Edward," I whispered. "I need to think about it."
"Bella … if you allow me to get to know you and Kaden, I promise you won't regret it."
I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I watched as Edward retreated to the bedroom to get his sweatshirt, and I was still standing in the same spot when he returned.
"I apologize for barging in last night. It won't happen again. Will you … call me later?"
I nodded and Edward let himself out the door.
My mind reeled with the events from the morning and evening before. Edward had laid everything out for me, and I couldn't figure out what to do with it. My first instinct was to protect myself and my son, but Edward had been nothing but good to me since I met him. Flashes of moments he'd done something for me played in my mind and I knew my heart was telling me to give him a chance. I was just about to pick up my phone and call him when my phone buzzed on the table.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Bella. Have you by chance seen or heard from Edward?" Jasper asked worriedly.
"Yeah. He just left here a few minutes ago."
"When did he come over?"
"Late last night. Jazz … how long have you been keeping Edward up on what I've been doing?"
Jasper sighed.
"I'm sorry, Bella. You walked out on him that day and he went kinda crazy. He was absolutely beside himself with worry, and it got worse when you refused to talk to him. He cares about you so fucking much, B."
"Yeah … I got that that, Jazz. But why didn't you just call me and tell me he was asking about me. Shouldn't it have been MY decision whether or not to tell him anything? Especially the information that I found out yesterday?"
"Again, I'm sorry, B. I didn't think keeping Edward in the loop was hurting anyone. And when he found out that Mike had given up parental rights … he went off. He wants to get to know you and Kaden. I think he sorta loves Kaden, B. He wants to be there for the both of you but you need to stop being so stubborn and let him."
"Jazz … I don't know if I can do that. I know that things with Mike and I weren't good at the end, but we took vows, and he threw them and Kaden and I away like we were yesterday's garbage. How can I trust that Edward won't do the same?"
"You don't, Bella. You just have to suck it up and take a chance."
"Thanks, Jazz … you're a huge help," I said dryly.
"Sorry, B. If it's any consolation – I've gotten to know Ed pretty well over the last couple months, and I think I know him well enough to know that when he says he's in – he's in. He's not into games and messing around. He doesn't want to get hurt either, Bella. The whole Lauren thing – he's still healing from that and he knows that he can't just jump into a relationship with you because you're still healing too. With Mike sending those papers back uncontested – it's kinda like your wound has been ripped wide open again."
"Why can't you have a twin, Jazz? You understand me so well."
"Do you think it would be any different with my twin if I had one?" Jasper chuckled.
"No, probably not." I laughed.
"Give him a chance, B. Let him be your friend. That's the only thing he's asking of you right now."
Jasper and I chatted for a few more minutes. I asked about Alice and the baby – both of whom were doing well. I promised him that I'd get together with him and Alice soon, and we ended our call.
Instead of calling Edward, I decided to run my errands and get things taken care of that I wouldn't get to do otherwise because of my work schedule. I was only working in the evenings, usually from three to nine and during that time, my dad came over and sat with Kaden while I was at work. I didn't care much for the people I worked for, but the job paid my bills and I was doing what I loved.
Later that afternoon, as I was on my way to work, I called and left a message for Edward.
"Hey, Edward … it's umm … Bella. I was wondering if we could talk … later. I'm on my way to work right now, but I should be off by nine or so. So … call me. Bye."
Moments later, I pulled into the back alley where the hired help of my new employers were required to park and I pulled on the stiff white chef's coat they demanded I wear. My hairnet and hat sat on the seat next to me – mocking me with disgust. I missed Edward.
A/N: Finally! She gets it! Do we feel much better about Bella and her removing her head from her ass even a tiny little bit? Two weeks and we hear from Edward again! =D
Thanks for reading and all your wonderful reviews – I read and appreciate each and every one!