Author's Note: Here is another lengthy chappie folks! If you feel I am racing thru the games I am sorry, but mind you we are only a third of the way thru this story so some things had to be shortened.

Many thanks go to my reviewers: JB, EWD, Arrow and HL

Chapter 34

Glowing, Burning and Extinguished

Since Ryen wants to keep me away from the stocks as much as I can and Gale has forbid me chatting with his mother without him. I had buried myself in the district charters and any law books to find a reason to shorten my brother's stay in the stocks.

Yes I say brother, only someone that annoying can be considered family, Ryen will snub me bringing him breakfast and staying when Harry is with me. He will refuse to eat or drink unless I promise to get gone. I sometimes feel like giving him a paddling since that also is allowed, but I think better of it. Like Hazelle said they are protecting.

Peeta and Katniss arrive and we are forced to watch them in the parade.

Cinna has outdid himself, but I am concerned.

No smiles, no waving, they aren't trying to attract people; instead they are acting high and mighty. And in the costumes they look ethereal. Like fire nymphs (are there nymphs of fire? Or are they imps…I shake my head out of that thought…have to focus). Even their makeup is masking their faces. None of the tributes look happy to be there. Cashmere and Gloss, Brutus and Enobaria, Beetee and Wiress, oh no Mags? Why is Mags there?! And Finnick…well Finn looks happy to be there, Track and Trace are back to back on the chariot arms crossed defiantly, I think the two from six were married after Cord and Zila I think their names were, I only met them on my first run as victor (they are addicts, they were twitchy the whole time), then there are Johanna and Blight, all of them are miffed about being reaped a second time. Well except for Finnick but I think he's cracked or he's putting it on for the cameras, either way he's the only one waving to the crowd everyone else looks mutinous.

"They don't look all that happy" Gale says to me as we stand at the back of the crowd, we decided to stay there because Ryen's family couldn't sit with him, Mrs. Mellark insists that the bakery stay open even if they don't have patrons.

"I wouldn't blame them, I think I'd be murderous too having to go back" I whisper to him in reply.

When the crowds disperse Gale and I say good night to Ryen and head for the meadow. Now our usual haunt when we want to talk alone. We stroll thru the tall grass quietly when Gale finally asks something I don't really want to talk about.

"What was it like?" he asks, I know what he's going for, the experience of the games.

"Gale I really don't like…I mean it's not easy" I look at the grass

"Forget I said it" he quickly returns, but he is also staring at the grass as we near the fence line.

I sigh, it was an innocent question, "I guess from my standpoint I wasn't as afraid as I should have been at the time" I look past the fence, I can feel Gale's eyes on me, "Seneca made it sound like a camping trip, Farrow wanted me to look after myself, Hellen told me to think of it as an adventure. I knew that the chances of survival at my age were slim, so I kinda just accepted that I might not make it out. You enter a calm I guess when you accept it. Accept that you won't see loved ones again, I did train and I did study but I guess in the back of my mind I think I was just trying to last as long as I could. Then I got to the arena and realized it was going to be almost like a camping trip in district Five, just with really big and dangerous snakes. It's different for everyone Gale, Katniss and Peeta have nightmares, I have nightmares once in a while, it's not something you get over quickly if at all, but I also think it's your state of mind in the games that helps you deal with it. Older victors deal with it differently, they accept it was a fight or flight response. Katniss had to watch a young girl die, same age as her little sister, and the mutated wolves from the ex tributes, and Peeta fears for the safety of Katniss that's where their nightmares come from"

"What about you? What are your fears?" Gale asks softly

We walk in quiet for a while following the fence line back into town, "loosing loved ones" I say finally, "I think the first time I really felt it was in the arena seeing Maverick 'die', I felt a deep uncontrolled loss, then I found him again and he tried to commit suicide, then seeing Peeta reaped. I don't like loosing people I care about Gale, I lost my parents to a plant explosion-I couldn't have controlled that and I barely remember it now after everything else that has happened-, Farrow to the games and my brother last year after the 74th. I hate it and fear it because it's out of my control."

"And you like being in control" he nods appreciatively, "Ari I can't promise nothing bad will happen to me, but I can promise that I won't leave you of my own will okay?" he reaches out for my hand and I take it, "you won't loose me if you promise I won't loose you"

"I promise" I look at him, "though I hate saying that word Gale, I make promises and things get bad fast"

He kisses my hand, "if they do babe, then we will face it as a team right?"

The week passes; a week of making sure Ryen doesn't waste away. Where Hazelle and I giggle at Gale's red faced embarrassment as his mother tries to tell about him as a child. Of telling little Posy stories so she can sleep and teaching Prim the finer points in Capitol medicine. Harry taking me in arm when Gale and I race to the bakery in the morning, kissing the crown of my head like my real dad did when I was little. Family, in all its facets blinds me.

We get to the end of the week and hear the scores. I'm proud of Track and Trace getting matching tens but when Katniss and Peeta get twelves I know something is horribly wrong.

"No one gets twelve" I look at Gale across his mom's kitchen table, "it's like a holy grail, unobtainable, it's a red flag to the other tributes!"

"You think the game is rigged?" Hazelle pours tea

Oh if only I could tell you everything Hazelle, I think.

"In the sense that they want Katniss and Peeta taken out yes" I look at my mug of tea, "they pissed 'em off"

"How?" Gale asks, I raise an eyebrow at him, "I mean what could they have done?"

"It doesn't take much, show them up, let them know something you shouldn't, shock them, the twelve is the gamemakers way of telling the other tributes 'this is your biggest threat to survival', it's meant to take out someone the capitol doesn't like"

"How is Ryen taking this?" Hazelle asks, after the scores they released him to Harry.

"He's resting, and Mrs. Everdeen says he will be okay, he's just worn out" I reply, "but he's worried, I think everyone is"

"Well maybe the interviews tonight will help" Gale offers, "Flickerman usually finds a way to make everyone shine doesn't he?"

I think Flickerman is out of his depths as of tribute one. I feel sorry for the veteran reporter, he has to calm the mob of outraged capitol citizenry and allow the tribute-cum- victors have their say. The doctor in me can only imagine what's going on at St. Augustine's right now. When they get to Tracker and Tracer, who decide to go in a pair showing unity in the district, Flickerman asks them what they think. Tracer is the one to answer.

"What I think Caesar is I wish we had someone else with us" she says

"Who would that be? Your mentors?" he asks

Tracer shakes her blond curls, "no, someone a lot closer to home, if Crane was here you think she'd be okay with this? Having to endure another nightmare? I mean seriously, we lived thru it! And now they are shunting us back in for what? For entertainment? She was right! It is roman times, it is gladiators in the ring now because we have all gone thru this, we are skilled each and every one of us, this is to thin the herd, if we united as one just imagine"

"Tracker how do you feel about your sister saying this" Flickerman looks pleadingly at my ex-mentor but Track has none of it.

"Come now Caesar, you have to admit something is definitely fowl in this whole game. Victors are supposed to show the capitol's generosity and they are bringing us in to a death match? What does that say to you? To me it means the Capitol isn't generous at all, they are if anything selfish. If Ariana was here she would probably call it decadent" he replies.

Gale takes my hand as I have clenched them into fists, I can feel tears in my eyes and Gale then pulls me to lean my head on his shoulder, I feel so torn due to what they said. I should be there! I should be in that arena with them but they are using me as a rallying point. I can see Finnick nodding to them and shaking Tracker's hand as they sit. Brutus is nodding!

It goes on with the former victors now expressing more of their anger when it comes down to our two of twelve. I can't believe they have them in wedding garments! I feel sick. Katniss apologizes that the capitol citizens won't be able to see them marry, showing her dress. She begins to turn.

"Is that….smoke?" Hazelle asks. Because we are all looking at the screen confused.

Smoke is appearing from the dress, then a spark at the bottom that turns to golden flames consuming the white dress, turning it black. Black like a mokingjay plumage.

Mokingjays, the biggest snub to the capitol. Done is haute couture.

Cinna what did you do?! I feel my stomach drop to my feet, god Cinna just painted a target on himself.

"Feathers?" Flickerman stands with Katniss who has stopped smoking and is now in a feathered dress with white patches on her arms, the accents of the mokingjay's wing.

"It's the symbol of my district" Katniss replies

"Right that pin from your games, it's high fashion now, but then again you'd know being in the business"

"I guess my sketches will be worth more after the games" she says sadly, "I want to thank you Caesar, and also I want to say how much I will miss all of this"

Peeta is last, in tuxedo, he is using the cane again, showing his weakness is winning the crowd more than anything else. Caesar sits with him slowly and they banter after burning chickens and feathers. It's easy banter, something Peeta is so used to doing that it's natural, it's Caesar who brings up the get up.

"Well, Caesar y'think our friends can keep a secret?" Peeta leans forward

Caesar does likewise, "I'm sure they can"

"We are already married" Peeta smirks

"They wha-?" Gale looks confused because Peeta explains the toasting and I still don't understand what toast has to do with marriage but Hazelle tells me she will explain some other time when it's not so chaotic.

"I think this is like last year" I say quietly, "he's trying to keep attention on Katniss"

"How?" Gale asks and Hazelle shushes us

"Did he just say what I think he said?" Hazelle says because we missed something.

Exactly ten minutes after the end of the show where it was cut short when all the victors stood hand in hand do we have Mrs. Everdeen and Harry at the door.

"Is it true?" Harry asks

"What is? What did we miss?" Gale asks we had talked over Peeta unfortunately

"Is she pregnant?!" Mrs. Everdeen asks panic stricken

"Pregnant? Katniss?" Gale does a double take

"That's what he said, 'if it weren't for the baby'" Harry says angrily

"Wait wait wait" I slow everyone down, then I realize what Peeta is doing, "that damned boy! He's doing it again!" I cover my face

"Doing what?" Gale is clueless to the game dynamic

We all sit down at the well worn table, "Peeta wants to save Katniss, even with danger down on them he is making them seem weak, that's why he was using his cane, and saying Katniss is pregnant. He's downplaying the twelves they got, only explanation"

"So she isn't" Gale looks at me

"That I don't know for certain because I don't know what happened prior to my arrival here and after they left for the Capitol. I can say that under my watch they were too busy to worry about makeout sessions let alone…" I let that hang cuz I never really had intercourse before…ever.

Both parents breathe a sigh of relief.

"Well he's a brave one" Mrs. Everdeen says, "you brought him up well Harry"

"Well your daughter is no pushover" Harry replies, I can see their friendship a mile away, "I should get home, calm the missus and my other boys"

"Oh no! I completely forgot Prim, I dashed here and I think I left her worried about me again" Mrs. Everdeen says.

"I better head home" I say, since I am staying at the same house as Mrs. Everdeen I decide it's high time I turn down for the night.

"See you tomorrow?" Gale asks

"Count on it" I say as Harry and Mrs. Everdeen head out the door, Gale kisses me good night and I follow them out.