A/N: I know, I'm getting pretty liberal with these, when I said it was usually a one time thing. I want to let you know, that even though you think I'll get into grotesque detail with this, I won't. I can't bear to do it, simply because I don't condone the acts that will be done. It's VITAL to the story that you read this.

Stage Thirty One: Show of Force

We entered that pattern for a week and a half, the three of us. Orochimaru and I would end up fighting for dominance, he would get increasingly less lax in his defences with every bout of violence, always showing he was still stronger, and Sasuke coming to heal me and staying for a little chatter. Sasuke seemed a little more at ease with me now that I was becoming defiant. I guess it puts to rest the chance that I was faking being his genuine friend. I've come to see it as an apology.

Orochimaru started drinking on the second day in. It started with a shot every night before he went to bed, but cascaded into two or three by the fourth day. Eventually it got to an entire bottle while he was working, not even waiting to finish his day. His temper was hell, volatile against anyone who walked in while he was downing sake. I would watch him when I was forced to work in his study, which was increasing as time went on. It was his way of keeping me on a short leash.

I was right; the first time we fought, he had let me unleash my fury to see just how far I would go. I restrained myself some, but not a whole lot. It was just at the end, when I came to terms with my actions. If I continued, I was just as unforgiving and relentless as he was. Could I live with myself, knowing I was on the same level as the monster that holds me?

It came to me eventually that love can be shattered so easily. What many see as the strongest bond really is as fragile as glass. I feel nothing but hatred for that man. I can't bring myself to want to touch him without feeling his blood on my fingers. What a horror story this has become; I can't bring myself to tell you all the gory details of this dark hour in my journey. I can't even force myself to remember.

The violence had a pattern to it, as it became a regular thing for Orochimaru to disable my left hand. It irritated me, not because my right was any less powerful; I had become ambidextrous over the years to prevent profiling in my enemies. Every time I punched him with enough force with my right hand, the outline of Deidara's ring shone crimson. There was one time when I could even read the backward symbol, "ao," clear as day. I was always afraid he would discover my secret.

Deidara was the only thing I clung to, other than Sasuke's newly forged companionship. I constantly twisted the ring around my finger, feeling its warm pressure there. It never left my body, not even when I showered. I couldn't depart from it. I knew in my mind that I should leave it somewhere safe, somewhere Orochimaru would never find it. Surely he would destroy me if he knew the truth. Not only was Deidara the man who infiltrated my room with no reason, he was Orochimaru's replacement. That just added insult to injury.

I didn't ever intend for it to be that way. It just happened. I despised the entire Akatsuki save for those two men: Itachi and Deidara; both of which could equate to the same animosity in Orochimaru. He wouldn't give a damn if it were Hidan, Sasori, or even Pein himself; but those two… They were the darkest sin I could commit, and yet, the only ones I could trust.

By the end of that week and a half, Orochimaru was so drunk he was deadly, and I had given up on fighting him. I knew that if I continued, I would die. He no longer cared for me the same way he once did. Our relationship would never be the same. Sometimes, I wanted to forget all of this and go back to the way things were between us: Sensei and student. I knew it couldn't ever be that way. If it did, we'd just end up where we are now, regardless of circumstance. I was too free, and he was too controlling. He would never be satisfied relying on loyalty alone after this, because I showed him what power it had over me: it didn't have any. I still fought back. I still rebelled. I destroyed any trust he had in me. I was useless now; or so I thought.

A few nights after the violence died down, Orochimaru approached me. He had a syringe full of what appeared to be blood, and I could smell the sake on his breath. There was evil in his eyes that night. It terrified me.

Sasuke was away on a mission he didn't want to perform. He knew being away from me might get me killed. I hated being so dependant on him, but after relying on only me for so long, it felt nice to have someone I could count on. He left me with worry in his eyes, and fear in his heart.

Orochimaru didn't say a word to me. He just took my hand forcefully in his and dragged me out of his study. I didn't resist. I followed him throughout the compound and remained as silent as the grave. Thoughts of death ran through my mind; I knew my days were numbered, but I wasn't ready for it to be over so soon. There were things I had never done, people I wanted to see one more time before I went. Would Deidara have to pry his ring from my cold, dead finger? I wanted to burst into fearful tears.

Instead of ending up in some cold, dark execution chamber, I was staring at a familiar bed in a familiar room with two familiar screens. "I'm afraid I don't understand what's going on, Orochimaru-sama."

He regarded me for a moment. "It is time for your purpose with me to be fulfilled, Tsuki." He took my arm in one of his hands, injecting the syringe into a vein with another. I felt a rush of dizziness come over me as Sasuke's blood entered mine. Understanding hit me in a wave of panic. There was no way I could go through with this, not with him.

As though he heard my very thoughts, he produced his sword from nowhere. "Go change, Child, and if you dare try to escape me, I will pin you to the bed by blade."

He had been plotting this for some time, as my usual robe had been replaced with something lacy and entirely too sheer to be of any practical purpose. I felt uncomfortable with the garment on; exposed and vulnerable. My fingers shook as I fumbled with the sleeves of the negligee. The lace caught on Deidara's ring several times, pulling the delicate threads out of their pattern, and I wondered where I could hide the piece until this hell was over. My kunai pouch seemed suitable.

I looked in the mirror, and instead of feeling beautiful and sexy beyond any shadow of a doubt as I would if it were any other man asking me to wear this, I felt small and ashamed. I still had a bruise or two that blended in with the black lace all too well, invisible unless you looked for it. Then again, I figured that's why he wanted the lace. He didn't want to see the damage he had done. He never cared for lace before.

I could tell by the grunts he was emitting that he was getting pretty impatient with waiting for me. 'To prolong this is only making it worse,' I had to tell myself. 'I am a shinobi; a konoichi. I can handle this. It won't be as bad as watching my parents die.' A tear escaped from my eyes as I put one foot in front of the other, taking the first step to my condemnation.

His eyes grazed on my image for a moment that lasted forever. They moved slowly across my shoulders, chest, and downward. I looked away from him. His hand brushed under my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. I flinched.

He flung me onto his bed with rage that flickered to life in one minuscule moment, reacting to the fear and insecurity I had displayed. Knowing what was about to come, I forced my body to do something extremely dangerous; something I had never done with someone else in the room before. I slipped into unconsciousness.

I woke up what had to be hours later. Orochimaru was slouched against the farthest wall, body riddled with shrapnel. The negligee clung to my body with sweat, both mine and his, and I could smell his release in the air. I was disgusted, and disappointed that my chakura didn't explode until after he had finished. My mind would eat away at myself for weeks until the result of his 'experiment' was either confirmed or denied. I felt dirty, and cold.

A quick check confirmed that his heart was beating and he was still breathing, barely. He had taken the direct shock to the chest, so his ribs were shattered, but beyond that, he would be fine. The shrapnel was just cosmetic damage for him. He could heal it all in no time.

The room was riddled with broken glass, splintered wood, and dust from the walls and ceiling. Both the screens were knocked over, the nightstands upended. I contemplated moving him for a brief moment, but decided against it. With my clothing and belongings gathered, I fled the scene quickly and silently; I didn't want to be around when he woke up.

Once inside my own wing, I assessed the damage. I was sore in all the expected areas, plus I had welts the exact size and shape of his hands on both of my hips. Those would bruise over rather quickly, and be very dark. There was no hiding that through the mesh shirt. It also felt as though he gripped my shoulders through part of it. They were sore, and one of the collar bones felt snapped. There were bite marks on my neck, and what looked like a poorly placed hicky. No doubt he didn't notice I wasn't awake.

I pulled my knees in under my chin and wept for a moment, allowing me to wallow in my own grief. I always pictured this assignment to be one of glory and happiness; in truth, if Kimimaro were still alive, it would have been. He would have been gentle, soft, and loving, if loving were possible. It would have been beautiful, and our children would be perfect.

Looking in the mirror, I was displaced by the red eyes that stared back at me. Somehow, the third stage of the Sharingan was activated, even though I have had no time to advance and perfect it.

The shoji slid open and I tensed for the worse. When I saw the silhouette, I eased. Sasuke had returned. "Tsuki?" he called to me.

"I'm here, Sasuke," I answered. I tried my best to keep my voice calm, though I could still hear the hurt I tried to hide.

He walked over to me, closing the shoji behind him. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw the damage through the sheer, lacy veil that poorly covered me. "What has he done to you?" he whispered. Instead of healing me, he pulled me into his arms. I saw his every movement before he made it, which made me nauseous.

"How do you use this without getting sick?" I asked, curling against him.

He looked into my eyes and understanding hit him; he knew what happened. "You get used after a while," he answered, "but by then, you'll revert back to your normal self. You don't keep foreign blood very well."

"That's probably a good thing," I answered.

He rested his chin on the top of my head. "You really are strong, Tsuki."

I released a sob. "I don't think so. He got to me, didn't he?"

"He can get to us all," Sasuke answered. He started rocking back and forth, doing his best to comfort me. "You did more than any of us could have. You lasted a week and a half, which is a monumental feat."

"You're really bad at this, Sasuke." I turned into his chest, smelling the raw Uchiha smell that both brothers share. Sasuke's was less musky; sweeter. The shared base smell comforted me, though.

"I'm sorry, Tsuki. I didn't want to leave you. I was afraid you wouldn't be here when I got back. I don't know how to comfort you; this is new to me."

I tried to laugh, but a muffled huff was all my body would allow. "I would hope this is new to you, Sasuke."

He looked down at me. "I shouldn't have been angry at you for all this time. I was stupid. Now I'm all you have left," he sighed. "I'll kill him for this, Tsuki. It'll take time, but he will fall. When he does, know it was for you." He pressed his lips against my forehead. "Now we're even for the Gaara thing," he whispered.

"Sasuke, I-"

He pressed a finger to my lips. "No, listen to me. I know there's no chance. I've screwed that up pretty damn well. Besides, I have my priorities." He smiled at me. "Doesn't mean I can't get even with you, does it?"

"As long as that's clear," I stated.

Once it became apparent that I wasn't going to destroy anything else, including myself, Sasuke deemed it time to heal me. I aided him in using chakura to heal the bones, infusing his energies with mine at half the cost to both of us. Beyond that, the bruises, which brought a blush to his face when he applied the gel cream to it, were left to heal on their own, as well as the cuts and scratches. The hicky was removed without me even asking, or aiding. It may have angered him on a scale similar to the violent act itself. It was a mark of possession.

He looked at my hip suspiciously. "There's a hickey here, too. It looks old." He met my eyes. "Should I take care of that one, too?"

"No, leave it," I quickly answered.

His eyebrows furrowed. "It isn't Orochimaru's, is it?"

"No, it isn't."

He shook his head at me. "Was it Itachi's?" he asked me.

"No, Sasuke," I sighed. "I've told you where I stand with your brother."

"Then it has to be Deidara's," he muttered.

"Ne; why do you assume it's his?" I asked.

"Orochimaru speculates things."

I looked down, angry and upset again. That man will be the death of me, even if Sasuke is going to kill him in my name. Orochimaru was going to get to me first.

"Is it his?" Sasuke asked, seeing his error.

"Yes, it is. Are you happy?"

"Not Deidara, too," Sasuke sighed. "How many men do I have to kill for hurting you, damn it?"

"He didn't hurt me, Sasuke. It was consensual."

He just sighed in response. "Better him than some, I suppose. If he does hurt you, I swear," he stated, trailing off to imply his intentions.

"I think I can manage Deidara on my own, thanks. I'm not that pathetic, boy. I can kick your ass, after all." I punched him lightly in the shoulder.

He smiled at me. "Good to have you back, Tsuki. I've missed you so much more than you could ever know."

"Sasuke, can I ask you a favour?" I asked softly.

He looked at me. "Sure, ask anything you want."

"Can you stay with me tonight?"

He wrapped his arms around me once more and answered, "Sure. Sleep all you can, Tsuki. I'll be here for you. He won't come back for you with me here."