Steps
Aya + Aki
By: L 0 K I
Hold
She crawled to the edge of the bed, looking blearily back as her brother shifted position, curling on his side and hugging his arms close to his body. She smiled through a yawn, thinking that he always looked sweet...when his eyes were closed. He glared at her too much for her to give him that distinction when he was awake.
Okay, she was lying there.
She shrugged slightly, then shifted the motion smoothly into a full body stretch, linking her fingers behind her back and arching slightly. Previous experience taught her that it was damn near impossible to sleep in a bed not her own. These past few weeks had taught her it was nearly impossible to sleep period.
She must have been exhausted, because she didn't even recall going to sleep. And she hadn't even woke up once, how unusual for her. The ward definitely worked, and she took a long moment to revel in the silence. Feeling a shard of pity, but at the same time, not missing the Tennyo's presence at all.
I'm sorry, Ceres, she thought, but this is my life. I won't be an instrument for your wrath, and definitely not against my family.
Turning from the bed, she quickly stumbled her way into the bathroom. Grace in the morning was not one of her strong suits, that was more Aki's thing, how strange then that he was still asleep.
I'm glad. He probably needs it more than I do.
She smiled gently at her reflection in the mirror, thinking that she looked like something that had been dragged backwards through a rose bush. She began picking at her hair, combing her fingers through the tangles. A few seconds later she decided it was completely hopeless, and that only a hefty dose of conditioner would tame her lions mane.
Feeling suddenly giddy (and not naming the fact that it was because she saw herself in the mirror, and only herself), she went to the bag that Aki had packed, knowing that he, being the practical twin, would have packed the necessary supplies for this vacation.
It was your standard black bag, with your standard clasp in the standard place. With a little hum and clumsy fingers, she undid it, pushing the flap back. As expected, everything was neat and tidy, and in its perfect place. With pure mischief she began digging recklessly through his things, moving them around and disrupting the order in the way only a devoted sister could.
No toiletries in the main pocket, they must be in one of the smaller ones. Her fingers flew to the closest one, unzipping it with a hiss. Digging in, her hand clasped around something incongruous to anything she had expected. It was cool and flat, smooth like glass, with raised edges. It felt a lot like...
She pulled said item free...
...a picture frame.
She frowned curiously as she turned it over and came face to face with---
Herself? A photo of her and Aki. She remembered when this was taken. It was only weeks ago, though it felt like another life entirely. She touched the glass gently, her mind at a complete standstill at how happy she looked. How happy they both looked.
It was right after that disastrous fortune was told, and she had dragged everybody with her to the Karaoke box to unwind. Aki rarely ever sang, but he loved music, and usually enjoyed himself just as much as she did. Though he would never admit it to her.
There was this popular song, and she liked it, but everyone else thought that it was being played into the ground. It never failed to pick up her spirits though, so she didnt pay any attention to their moans and groans when the first recognizable notes broke the semi-quiet air.
She smiled fondly as she recalled exactly how much she had thrown herself into the song, but it had felt good. To sing, to move, to just spill all her tension out.
"Aya," Aki had said, "You shouldn't dance! It's definitely not your thing!"
She snorted slightly in self-directed amusement, admitting to herself that he was mostly right. She just didn't care. Not what others thought of her, not how she looked. What did it matter if she never moved in the proper rhythm? She was having fun!
Apparently, the others had cared, because they attacked as one, pouncing on her and holding her still while Aki pried the microphone out of her hand.
She hadn't realized it at the time, but Kaede had brought along her digital camera. Obviously, she thought Aya was very photogenic. Or very likely to cause a spectacle. Aya smirked at that, not caring which it was, only that she had.
She blinked when she realized the photo was missing a few people. Mainly...everybody but them.
Well, no, she tilted her head, there was a part of Ami's head. But the rest of them had been carefully trimmed away, leaving only her and Aki, struggling over possession of the microphone, but clearly having the time of their lives as well.
All our pictures, she thought forlornly, of each other. Our friends. Mom...Dad...she slowly laid the picture over her stomach, sliding her arms just as slowly around it, and holding herself, tighter and tighter. The metal protested slightly, the glass shifting in the frame. All our pictures are gone.
It was as if that life had only been a dream and now she was awake, and the real world was a dark, cold place, full of tragic twists. It was a world completely out of her hands, dragging her along like a marionette on a string.
She glanced up into the mirror and froze, her eyes widening slightly.
She looked so...so...
Broken.
No! Aya Mikage, that's not who you are at all!
She shook her head fiercely, swiping at her eyes with jerky movements. You're only as broken as you think you are.
Which is not at all, she told herself firmly.
You are you, Aya. And no one can take that away from you if you don't let them. Not the Mikages. Not some Tennyo. No one.
She watched the face in the mirror light up with defiance and determination, then turned her eyes back down to the photo. Someday Ill be that happy again. And so will Aki. She traced her finger over Aki's face. Someday we both will.
Smiling at the picture as if an old friend, she turned it back over and slid it back into the bag exactly as it had been.
Someday...
( ) *
Aki listened to the water turn on in the bathroom, having woke up when Aya did. He was shocked to realize that he had allowed himself to fall asleep in such a...suggestive tangle.
More surprising was the fact that she didn't react. Didn't even seem to realize. She had gently pushed off his arm, instantly waking him, and stumbled from the bed. He had watched her with slitted eyes, waiting for the realization to catch up with her, but it never happened. She gazed back at him for several seconds, clearly still half-asleep, then she seemed to decide something and shrugged, segueing right into a stretch that had his eyes widening before he could stop them.
His sister, she was...
He took a deep breath, and then slowly brought up his left hand. He could still feel the warmth and softness of her skin, and he slowly closed his fingers over his palm, as if trying to hold onto those sensations for as long as possible. Strong emotion made everything easier---he didn't have to think if the feelings were strong enough.
I've never felt anything this strong before.
The water continued to run. He knew from experience that Aya's showers were actually more like events. He turned over slowly onto his back and stared blankly up at the ceiling. He lifted up the pillow in his hand and pulled it over his face.
It smelled like her.
He was startled as a low groan fleeted through the room. He was even more startled to realize that it had come from him. He flung the pillow away, and rolled suddenly, coming to a stop on his side, far away from her side of the bed as possible. He stared at the plain standard motel desk and felt helpless tears sting his eyes.
Aya...
I don't know whats wrong with me, Aya.
Hold
vt 1 a : to maintain possession of : possess b : to retain by force c : to keep control of or authority over d : to keep as a threat or means of coercion 2 : to impose restraint upon a : to restrain from producing b (1) : to keep back (2) stay, arrest (3) delay (4) to stop the action of temporarily c : to keep from advancing or succeeding in attack d : to restrict or limit by acting to control or oppose e : to bind legally or morally : constrain f : to tense muscles in order to brace oneself 3 a : to have or keep in the grasp b : to cause to be or remain in a particular situation, position, or relation c : support, sustain d : to keep in custody e : to have in ones keeping : store, reserve 4 : bear, carry, comport 5 a : to maintain in being or action : keep up without interruption, diminution, or flagging b : to keep the uninterrupted interest, attention, or devotion of 6 a : to receive and retain : contain, accommodate b : to have in reserve 7 a : harbor, entertain b : consider, regard, judge c : esteem, value 8 a : to engage in with someone or with others : do by concerted action b : convoke, convene 9 : to have earned or been appointed 10 : to handle so as to guide or manage
To cause to remain in a given situation, position, or relation, within certain limits, or the like; to prevent from falling or escaping; to sustain; to restrain; to keep in the grasp; to retain.
The act of holding, as in or with the hands or arms; the manner of holding, whether firm or loose; seizure; grasp; clasp; grip; possession; -- often used with the verbs take and lay.
Power by which something or someone is affected or dominated : to close within bounds, limit or hold back from movement : keep from exhaling or expelling.
vi 1 a : to maintain position : not retreat b (1) : to continue in the same way or state : last (2) to endure a test or trial 2 : to maintain a grasp on something : remain fastened to something 3 : to derive right or title 4 : to bear or carry oneself 5 : to be or remain valid : apply 6 : to go ahead as one has been going 7 : to forbear an intended or threatened action : halt, pause
n 1 : stronghold 2 a : confinement, custody b : prison 3 a : the act or manner of holding or grasping : grip b : a non-physical bond that attaches, restrains, or constrains or by which something is affected, controlled, or dominated c : full-comprehension 4 : something that may be grasped as a support
et cetera et cetera et cetera
Synonyms: Grasp. Clutch. Grip. Clasp. Seize. Cling to. Embrace. Cleave to. Possess. Have. Keep. Retain. Restrain. Confine. Bind. Connect. Unite. Enfold. Hold close. Sustain. Wait. Handle. Catch. Capture.
TBC...