"I think we need to talk about the bantha in the room."
Both Sam and Obi-Wan jerked at Qui-Gon's words. As old as they were, they were still two young men who floundered under the glower of a father figure. Qui-Gon wondered what kind of person Dean's father was. What kind man trains his child in such a way, to be a soldier, but not a leader? Obi-Wan would have never flinched under Qui-Gon's voice.
"What's a bantha?" Sam whispered.
"Obi-Wan has told me much," Qui-Gon said, cutting off Obi-Wan's response. "Castiel has told me more. I want to trust you, Sam. But we cannot move forward until all the information lays bare before us."
"Yeah?" Sam said, frowning. "I told you everything I could."
"You said yes, Sam. And I want to know why."
Sam gaped, his eyes growing wide. Immediately Obi-Want to his feet. "Master, please-"
"Silence, Obi-Wan. Do not fear the answer, simply know it."
Obi-Wan bit his tongue, his jaw clenching as he struggled to keep his protest in. Qui-Gon was right. Of course he was right. Obi-Wan knew they needed to hear the answer. If Lucifer was to rise again, if he has already risen, then who's to say he won't try again with Sam?
But Dean didn't want to know the answer. Because he knew the answer will break his heart.
"I..." Sam swallowed. His eyes were begging for someone to stop him, to stop all of this. "I didn't want to say yes."
"But you did."
Sam bowed his head. "I tried to resist. I fought Lucifer off for three months. But how do you fight against something that is older than time itself? How do you run away from something that knows your every dirty secret, your every move, your every thought and feeling? I killed myself dozens of times trying to escape. He brought me back every time."
Obi-Wan clenched his eyes shut.
"At the end," Sam said. "I was exhausted. I knew he was never going to give up. No matter what I did, he would always be there. So I said yes."
He sobbed, shaking his head, utterly disgusted at himself. "How pathetic is that? I said yes because I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Because I was tired. So many people..."
He placed his head in his hands, his fingers clenched tightly in his hair. He was shaking, his shoulders almost heaving, as waves of distress and shame rolled off of him by folds. if Qui-Gon cut him down right then and there, Sam would not move to stop him.
"Look at me, Sam."
Sam didn't want to. He didn't want to see his face, didn't want to look past him to see Dean's face. But slowly, he unclenched his fingers from his hair and raised his head up.
Qui-Gon stared down at him, quiet, calm, stilled. "Your soul is old," he said. "Older than anything I felt in all my years."
He placed a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder. The Force bleed out through his fingertips, warming the skin, releasing the tension bounded in the muscles. Sam relaxed in his grip, confusion now overtaking shame.
He started to feel sleepy.
"I am in no position to forgive you," Qui-Gon continued. "I do not have that right. You can only forgive yourself."
Sam thought he was floating. He leaned back, eyes still trained on Qui-Gon. He was vaguely aware of the feel of the couch under his back but he was too far gone to care. A haze filled his mind as his eyelids slid shut.
"Face the future... with humility."
()
Qui-Gon stepped back from Sam. The sleep suggestion should keep Sam under for a few hours.
"Master...?" Obi-Wan asked, confused.
"Do you forgive him, Obi-Wan?"
"Yes," Obi-Wan said immediately. It didn't matter the reasons, Dean would always forgive Sam. Even now, over ten thousand years later.
"Then tell him that when he wakes up." Qui-Gon moved towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to get in contact with a few Knights I trust. I want to know what's going on back at the Temple since our absence. I'll be back in a few hours."
"All right," Obi-Wan said, still confused yet willing to obey. He took a seat in front of Sam, hands clasped in front of him. Qui-Gon left him like that, sitting quietly.
()
Qui-Gon was glad Obi-Wan had not asked him why he put Sam under a Force sleep. Qui-Gon didn't have an answer to give and probably would have awkwardly fished for a pathetic, obvious lie. Luckily, Obi-Wan did not ask.
Qui-Gon wanted to have this conversation alone. He didn't know how it'll trigger either boy.
He waited till he was at least a good two miles away from the hotel. He was half-afraid Castiel might pop out of nowhere again, but better him than Obi-Wan.
"We need to talk," Qui-Gon said to the sky. "Gabriel."
And like Castiel, first there was nothing, and then there he stood. A man, who was no taller than Qui-Gon's shoulder, faced him. Though short and stout, the way the light shined around him was brilliant to witness.
"Hey, buddy," Gabriel said. "You called?"