Disclaimer: Mine mine mine… nope, just kidding. Wren, though, she's mine, so back off!

Anij: You know, I sure hope the hardcore JxS fans won't hate me… though, yeah, they probably do hate that chapter! XD

Sanoru: I really have no idea where that rant came from! But I'm glad it turned out well.

DanikaLareyna: Ah, Pablo Picasso just makes me laugh! And, yes, we'll have to chat it up sometime soon!

Sarahbella: Likewise, you cannot imagine how happy your review made me! I'm a lot like Wren, too, which I think is why I love writing this fic so much. Here's what I say: Imperfection is Divine! This chapter is for you, and all the MarySue's that we hate so much!

Song recommendations:

Rebel Rebel by David Bowie – This has got to be my favorite song, like, ever. Did I recommend it before? Maybe. I dunno. If so, fine, I am recommending it again.

The Promise by InsideOut – these guys rock. If you've never heard them, go listen to them. Yes, they are A Cappella, but… well, you'd never know it.

I Try by Macy Gray – not much of a Macy Gray fan, but I really love this song.

In Dreams by Roy Orbison – oh, do go listen to this one! It's great, I promise!

I looked up from the book I was reading when he gave an indignant snort. I sighed, closed the book, and made my way cross my room to stand behind him.

See, I had been finishing up my online homework when Jareth had come by to talk. Well, I was mostly on the finished side of things, and was actually rummaging around with my computer, doing two of the things that annoyed him the most: listening (and singing along to) the Labyrinth Soundtrack, and reading online fan stories. That's when it started.

Earlier that evening...

"Wren," he said, making a disgusted noise in his throat, "Why do you bother with that…" he fumbled with a word for it, "That… barbaric plagiarism and those silly songs when you could be spending quality time with me? The actual Goblin King?"

I frowned at him, "Is it that hard to believe that some of these stories, fan written as they are, are done really well? I like them. This one here… well, it's quite good."

He heaved a dramatic sigh, flopping into the beanbag chair next to my computer desk (yes, I know, a beanbag chair… not the most regal of furniture for a king, but for whatever reason you can imagine, he said it was great fun to sit in) and pouting. "Oh, yes, let me guess, Sarah has come back to my Labyrinth and I'm falling for her, all over again, while simultaneously saving the entire Underground from utter destruction that has spurred from giving Sarah my heart?" he snorted and leaned back in the chair, "How trite."

I turned my nose up at him, "You've never even given fan-fiction a chance, you know that?"

Jareth looked at me with his, you've-got-to-be-joking look. "Dearling, if you haven't noticed, I am the Goblin King, in the flesh. Why waste your time fantasizing when," he spread his arms wide, "I am right here."

"Gosh, as if I could forget it! But… well, c'mon Jareth, look at this one! Yeah, Sarah's back – she's back in most of them, mind you – but this time you're out for revenge… until your heart gets in the way…"

He closed his eyes and sighed, "And how, pray tell, is my heart supposed to get in the way?"

I shrugged, "I don't know yet. I think the basis idea is that Sarah is feeling incomplete without you, and she's out to win your heart…"

He snorted, somehow still managing to still sound regal, "Oh, and do I sing to her about the world falling down and pitiful valentine endings? We mustn't forget the valentine endings…"

I gave him a pointed look, "Fine, be a jerk face about it. But there are other kinds of fan fictions, too, you know."

"Oh, are there ones where I'm a monster? Or how about where I really am the terrible villain that Sarah thought I was? Do I dip her in the bog?"

I threw a wad of paper at him. He jumped, startled, and swatted away the offending wad as if it were a bug.

"It's not all about you, you know," I said, pulling up some of my favorites.

"More Portly Hooper stories?"

"How can you possibly be so bad with names?" I wadded another paper and threw it at his head. He gave an indignant harrumph, snatched the paper from where it had tangled in his hair and threw it back at me.

"Ouch!" I said. He threw harder than I could, "It's Harry Potter! Not… whatever it was you said."

He waved a hand at me, "Harry Potter, Portly Hooper, Hotty Popper, does it really matter?"

I grabbed the hand he waved at me and pulled him upward. He protested, but I sat him down in front of my computer screen and instructed him to read the story I selected.

"Just try it, okay? This is one of my absolute favorites, a song fic, about a few other characters, who are trying to ignore their feelings for each other…"

He looked at me skeptically, and pointed at my monitor, "That' barely two hundred words. How can that be a decent story?"

I rolled my eyes, walked around my office chair, doing my best not to laugh at how out of place he looked in it, and explained to him how to use the mouse and scroll down to the rest of the story. "Just roll this knob here,"

"Wren," he said, almost childlike, "I don't like to roll."

"Then click and drag with the mouse, okay?"

"Why is it called a mouse?"

"Just read the story, okay?"

Back to where the chapter started...

I moved up behind him to see what had made him snort. An hour and a half later, he'd seemed to master the click and drag of the mouse, and was currently reading some of my other favorite fan fiction stories.

"What's the matter?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and stifling a yawn.

He didn't look up from the screen. "This person… this BlinkiFeind796516345, is pure evil. Cutting my hair, putting me in sneakers, and writing that I would change my name – my name! – from Jareth to Jared, just to fit in better? How ludicrous!" he turned and gave me a mortified look, "How could this ever be in your favorite list, Wren?"

I giggled, "Don't take it personally. You forget, these people don't know you, as I do. I like that fic because Blinki has several excellent descriptions of you in there. And, it's funny. Did you read the disco scene yet?"

His eyes widened and he drew back, "Disco?"

I shook my head, "Okay, that's enough fan fiction for you, mister. We're now turning the computer off…" I reached for the switch.

"Ooh, but I want to know what happens when Sarah sees the dress I made for her!"

I paused, mid reach, slowly turning to glare at him, "You made for her?"

"Yes," he nodded, his eyes wide, "In the story. I specially create a dress for her – which really was very inaccurate in it's descriptions, but was touching all the same…"

I flicked the switch, and my screen went blank. "Forget about the story, GK."

He pouted (as only he can) as I pulled him from my chair and pushed him onto the beanbag chair again. He still frowned at me, "You know, you did want me to read those. And I did. Now, you don't like my reaction? I thought you wanted me to like them."

I knelt down and squished into the chair with him, laying my head on his shoulder and looking up in his face, "Like them, sure. Obsess over them? Start referring to yourself as the Jareth in the stories? No."

He looked at me, a sly glance lighting his face as he did so. "Jealous, Wren?" he purred.

I shrugged and edged closer to his mouth. "Maybe a little… you're so cute when you pout…"

He grinned, "Why else do you think I do that in your presence?" he leaned over and kissed me. I let him for just a second, but then pulled back to glare at him again. "Now, now, now," he warned, "If you start playing hard to get, I may just go back to reading more of those silly stories,"

I stood up and stretched, "Well, if you think they're so silly, maybe I should write some of my own-"

"You wouldn't dare!" like a wild cat, he lunged at me, his gloved fingers out stretched at my midsection. I squealed and fell backward onto my bed, where he began to tickle me mercilessly.

Man, those fingers can be so cruel! He doesn't let up! I could barely breathe!

He paused in his assault on my sides (he was standing over me, next to my bed while I was on it) and looked down at me, his long hair brushing me slightly. "Give up?"

Still giggling, tiredly, I met his gaze. "The girl was unlike any other he'd ever seen… chubby and in a jade colored dress," I said in a highly mocking accent, "Not at all his type, but yet he couldn't deny that she was so sexy… Ahhh! Hee, oh, stop! Jareth, stop!"

He growled and continued to tickle my sides… I was laughing so hard, I couldn't stop him. "Now will you cease?" he said at length, a cruel smile playing on his lips.

"Never!" I cried out, like a maniac, "And the chubby girl said he was a sexy beast! And the King wanted to make-out with her like a monkey on a cupcake! Ahhhh! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!"

We were both laughing very hard. Jareth's shoulders were shaking. He'd given up on tickling me, but, though he was still standing, he had halfway collapsed on my stomach and was laughing heartily. His laughter on my stomach still tickled, so I was still giggling, too.

"That," he said after a long moment, "Was the most ridiculous… absurd…"

"Face it," I sighed, "You can't fight the fan fic. It's too overpowering."

He chuckled, "Like a… what was that last bit? A monkey on a cupcake?"

"Heh, yeah… oh, crap!" footsteps could be heard outside my door.

Jareth, quite used to dashing away when being nearly discovered, puffed away in a cloud of glitter. Thinking quickly, I grabbed my cell phone from my headboard and flipped it open, laughing into it as though I was talking into it.

My father stuck his head inside my door, just then, looking extremely bleary-eyed.

"Ah, that was the best, uh… Allie," I said, loudly, to my phone, which wasn't even on. But, Dad didn't know that. Hee.

He looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. I gulped.

"Wren… you're an adult. Go to bed like one. And," he glanced at the glitter mess on my floor, "For heavens sake, child, clean up that mess!" He said with a yawn, shutting my door and heading back to bed.

"Phew!" I clicked my phone shut and fell against my bed with a sigh, "That was close… per usual, though. It's always close."

Jareth reappeared, looking relieved, "Too true. But, ah, it is late. I shall bid you goodnight, my Wren."

I hopped off the bed and hugged him, "'Night, GK. See you later." I let go and started to reach for my pajamas, when he suddenly grabbed me around the waist and spun me back into his arms. He arched his eyebrows with a mockingly serious look.

"The absolutely stunning Goblin King took the girl in his arms," he said in a deep, sexy voice, "Kissing her heatedly, ravishing her mouth against his own, showing her just how much a sexy beast he could be," He turned, dipping me backwards and giving me a very dramatic, showy kiss. When he stood me back up, with a wink, he gave me a sweeter kiss, a goodnight kiss. (I, for one, prefer his softer, sweeter kisses. I mean, he's a King. Everyone knows he can be glamorous and showy and possessive… but it just melts me when he shows me his softer side).

He turned away from me, strutting as he faded back to the Underground, his voice growing more distant as he said, "Ah, with such a searing, earth shattering kiss, the girl promptly fainted, the knowledge that no man would ever be able to satisfy her lips again being simply too much for her to bear!"

I shook my head to the empty room, gathering my pajamas with a resigned laugh.

"I've created a monster. Good thing he doesn't wear a crown, since his head is going to get so friggin' big…"

A/N: Ah, this was too fun not to pass up writing! So fun! I hope no authors are offended at my fanfic jabs… I just couldn't resist pitting Jareth against them! Ahahahaha!

Well, as usual, please review. A special thanks to those select few who regularly do review, I seriously appreciate it.

Love ya!

Marti