A/N: Thank you to stanleydoodles, anothercupofcoffee and the ever awesome naturerocs for your reviews and support. There might be a slight delay in updates from now on as life is taking over a little and I've nearly posted everything written so far! So stay with me! Also hello to all the other readers out there giving this story a go!

Chapter 18 - Falling Apart

"Hello, do you think you could come and stay over? The house is big and lonely." I texted Angie. I was so glad her reply was so quick.

"Sure, I'll pack a bag and be right over."

Half an hour later I heard the doorbell ring, I went to the door and there stood Angie.

"Thank you. I really need to company at the moment." I greeted.

"No problem. Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, it's just Jim's away and I don't want to be alone, we had a break in recently." I wasn't ready to tell her about Moran and how I lost the baby, it had only been three days ago, but it felt like minutes.

"Alright, that's fine.

"Did they take anything?"

"Some of Jim's files, nothing big, he interrupted him before he could get too far."

"Oh, okay. Did Jim call the police or...take care of it himself?" Asked Angie wearily.

"The man was masked, pistol whipped Jim and ran. I came home after we'd been to my appointment to find Jim semi conscious and bleeding. We never got round to calling the police."

"Okay, but you don't know who it was?" Angie asked. I paused before speaking.

"I wasn't sure at first, but I think it was Moran." Angie didn't react to my answer as I'd expected. She was annoyed, annoyed at me.

"So because of that, you decided to go and confront him? Despite knowing how dangerous he is?"

"What do you mean?" I had to play dumb.

"You dropped your gun."

"I don't have a gun."

"Moriarty...sorry, Jim's gun. I saw it fall from the roof at Bart's. I recognise it at his. Unfortunately, I've seen it before. And I saw you up there, and a few minutes later, I saw Moran leaving the hospital."

"Oh, right. So you know then. Ang, I failed, he got away and I...I lost the baby." My voice cracking as I got the last few words out. Admitting it, saying it out loud was always harder than it should be.

Yeah, I know; and I am so, so sorry, Percy. I know how much it hurts; but you didn't fail, don't think like that." I couldn't stop the tears as she spoke.

"I never told him, Jim never even got to know he was going to be a father. I'm a useless wife. Do you know who found me?"

"No, you're not a useless wife. Don't think that." She replied firmly, her tone of voice was telling me to believe her words. He voice and body language relaxed. "Yeah, I know who found you. It was me." I looked up to meet her eyes.

"When I saw you up there and then saw Moran leaving...I got worried, so I headed up to the roof and found you."

I'm so sorry Angie, and thank you, I think, no, I know you saved my life."

"Just promise me you'll never do that again. Go to face Moran on your own like that."

"I promise." We sat silently together for a while, both sniffing. I had been thinking it over for the last couple of days. So I asked the hardest question I could ask Angie.

"How did you cope with losing a baby? I don't know what to do."

"Do you want the false hope or the hurtful truth?"

"Both?"

"Alright, false hope: yeah, sure. Like that old saying, wounds heal with time. It might take a while, but yeah, you'll get over it. The hurtful truth: you never get over it. It never gets better. It always hurts. It's been five years for me, it's not one bit better. I still blame myself, tell myself there were things I could have done different. I still feel horrible that I couldn't do anything to save my baby. Eventually, you learn to hide it, you manage; but it's still always there, in the back of your mind. It never goes away." Such an emotional and sensitive topic made us both dissolve into tears; we clung to each other crying. Mourning the loss of our children and thankful that we were both safe.

"Oh, look at me. I'm supposed to be helping you, now I'm crying." Said Angie with a weak laugh.

"At least we can cry together. You really are the most wonderful friend Angie; I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you for being honest with me. Can we keep this between us, I don't think I could face the disappointment of Sherlock and Mycroft. I can't even think what Jim would do. He can't know. Does John know?"

"I won't tell anyone. Sherlock would probably be a heartless machine about it anyway. Yeah, John knows, but I'll tell him to just keep it between us."

After a long pause and we slowly stopped crying, I got up and fetched a set of keys. I sat back next to Angie and handed the keys to her.

"Angie, I want you to have a key, so you can come over anytime, day or night and stay, whether I'm here or not, to be able to get away from Sherlock. You'll have your own room and space, Jim will leave you alone. Think of it as your London tree house. I don't think I can ever thank you enough."

"Thanks. I don't think I'd be able to come over when Jim's here, but let me know when he's on...'business' trips. It'll be a nice getaway. I can't exactly explain that whole problem to John; and don't mention it. I know exactly what you're going through, and I'm just glad you have somebody who understands. Other people mean well, but they just can't comprehend it."

"I will, I understand I know Jim causes a lot of problems. We can have regular sleepovers like when we were kids. You and John were the only people who knew, I tried to call Mum, but she was busy.

"Well, we won't tell anyone, and if there's a time that you really need me to come over, even if he's home, I'll come over if you ask me to."

"Thank you! Now, how about a Doctor Who marathon and some hot chocolate? I think we both need cheering up."

"Yeah, sounds great! Don't worry about it, I'll take care of everything."

"You are an amazing woman Angie Watson, and never let anyone tell you any different."

"Thanks. The same goes for you, no matter what you think!"

"So, which doctor to start with, 9, 10 or 11?

"You know my favourite's 10."

"Oh, ok, if we have too."

"Like you were gonna argue. "

"Nope! Oh a trip in the TARDIS sounds so good right now!"

"Yeah, we can go to the planet Barcelona. Or Raxicoricofallipatorious."

"Or Felspoon! Maybe the Lost Moon of Poosh?"

"Or Klom! Or Midnight. Oh wait, probably not a good idea. The Library, before the Vasta Narada."

"Oh yes the library! It would be wonderful."

"We'd have to be careful, though. Spoilers!"

"No peeking to the end! How about New New York?!"

"Oh yeah! Although, strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York?! Goodness, that's a mouthful!"

"It is, can you imagine having to say that every time you wanted to go there, the sat-nav would get confused!

"Haha, just make sure it's not Atmos."

"Never ATMOS! Although, I'd like to try a vortex manipulator...oh and Captain Jack!" I said with a wink.

"Oh, don't get me started on him again. Although I would love to see River and Jack meet."

"What can I say, I love a bad boy! Jack and River meeting would be hilarious!"

"Well, he's not exactly bad... Can you imagine the 11th Doctor dealing with those two?" Laughed Angie, which caused me to start laughing again too.

"I think 11's hearts would stop. Jack can be very bad, but also very courageous.

"It's the Doctor's fault, well, the courageous part. Although, it helps that he can't die; and he gets better, considering he's the Face of Boe. I'm still blown away by that!"

"I know I couldn't believe it either! Doctor Who really is the best!"

"Yep!"

We spent the rest of the night, laughing and swooning over the Doctor. It didn't make the hurt go away, but it helped. I really was so lucky to have Angie in my life.

A few days later, I was sat flicking through the different programmes on TV, not really paying attention. It was dull, all of it so boring. Jim had gone away for the second time this week and I was lonely and bored. Although, Jim had hardly been home, he'd been distant of late and distracted. My phone buzzing broke my thoughts; it was a text from Angie.

"Can I come over for a bit? Sherlock's being a prat. Again. Still. I need to escape."

"Of course, Jim's away for a couple of nights. We can have a girly night in!" I text back, the company would be nice,

"Great! I'll be there in ten." Texts back Angie. I wine t into the kitchen and put the kettle on. We would need tea. I stoked the fire and made the living room all cosy.

I let Angie in, and could see she looked stressed. My idiot brother had obviously done something stupid. How he could mess up so badly I'd never know. I told him everything he needed to do but he ignored me. Typical.

"Thank you so much! I just can't deal with Sherlock anymore for tonight." Greeted Angie, sounding fed up.

"What's Sherlock done now?" I asked, exasperation filling my voice as we sat in the living room.

"I was trying to talk to him, I was gonna explain about Moran, and he just brushed me off. I tried to do what you suggested and follow him and make him listen to me, and he just walks out of the house, gets in a cab and leaves! I was so angry with him; I almost started throwing things at the wall! I was hoping he'd stay away the rest of the night, and then a few hours later, he waltzes in like nothing ever happened! I just couldn't stay there. I walked around Hyde Park, trying to calm down before I called you."

"He's an idiot, I even told him what to do, I told him to talk to you to, to let you in. I'm going to kick him next time I see him."

"Really? He probably phased it out. Or 'deleted' it from his 'hard drive'." She sneered, obviously a victim of his deletions.

"He's so infuriating. I had lunch with Mycroft yesterday and he said he's ready to kill Sherlock too. It's not just us!"

"That's another thing. Sherlock's been seeing Mycroft a lot lately. Or at least, he says he is, he could be lying. But he comes home with these files that he instantly hides from me, or pretends he doesn't know what I 'm talking about when I ask. Or Mycroft comes over and leaves them, but when I ask him, he won't tell me. And lately, the way he's been looking at me, it's like he feels sorry for me. Although, that might be because I have to put up with Sherlock more than he does now." If Sherlock were plotting something, I would stop him, especially if it hurt Angie. It wasn't fair to her. Jim had been distant too recently.

"Mycroft didn't mention anything, but Jim has been working more lately, he keeps getting phone calls at odd times and he's been a bit tense. I don't know what's going on either."

"Men. And then they think they have to keep things from us because 'we need protection'. After everything me and Sherlock have been through, between that Black Lotus gang and the Golem and everything, and he still thinks I can't protect myself?! I've helped him out of a few messes!" I understood her completely.

"I know, same here, I have swooped in and talked Jim out of some delightful situations with clients who decided they didn't like his way of doing things. I haven't told Jim yet, about anything recently, I keep trying, but I chicken out every-time."

"Yeah, same with me and Sherlock. I just can't bring myself to say it, or he just doesn't listen, goes off somewhere else, or changes the subject. Maybe I should write it out and give it to him?"

"Its best to say it, its just so hard. I keep having dreams about our little family; Jim, a baby girl and myself playing at the beach, it's crippling now I know it can't happen." I admitted to Angie. The recurring dream I had been having was starting to haunt me. I craved the image of our little family happy and carefree so badly, but through my own inadequacy I had ruined the possibility ever happening.

"I'm so sorry about what happened, Percy. I wish we could go back in time and stop it." She said gently.

"It's my own fault, I need to be less impulsive, and if I hadn't gone after Moran, what's worse is he got away." I was still so angry with myself and I felt so guilty.

"Don't think like that. You can't blame yourself for what he did. He's been on full force lately, with the stalking. I've been carrying Sherlock's gun around just in case. Shows you how bad it is." Consoled Angie. I nodded in response, words caught in my throat as Jim stormed into the living room.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" He yelled. I stood, a little apprehensive as I took in his angered state.

"Jim, you're back early?! How long have you..." I was shocked, he was a day early, my mind clocked why he was so angry, he'd heard everything. Jim cut me off mid-sentence.

"Long enough. How could you take on Seb? On your own? Are you really that stupid?" Jim was angry, very angry and hurt.

"I'm sorry, it had to be done." I admitted openly.

"Maybe I should go?" Suggested Angie, I didn't want her go, but it may be safer, Jim was in a foul mood.

"Yes, I think you've done enough. Run back to your detective and stay out of things that don't concern you." He didn't need to take his anger out on Angie.

"Jim, seriously, what is wrong with you? Angie hasn't done anything. You're being cruel."

"Cruel? So you going off and attempting to kill a man who's a trained killer and then you lose our baby. You didn't think I'd want to know that you were pregnant?! What the hell is wrong with you? You'd know all about cruel Percy, you're the mistress of deception." His words hurt, they priced my heart, I was starting to believe Sherlock might be right.

"I didn't tell you because I knew how you'd react."

"How is that exactly?!" Jim asked incredulous that I'd question him.

"Look in the mirror." muttered Angie under her breath, then adding. "On second thought, I think I'll stay and give my side of the story. Don't give me that look. I don't care if you are married to my best friend. I haven't forgiven you for anything you've done to me."

"I don't need your forgiveness or opinion. This is between me and my wife." Jim was holding back, he was trying to retain a semblance of calm.

"Actually, it involves me, too. Believe it or not, you don't actually know everything, especially while you were off gallivanting around the world playing your little games." Angie said, coming to my defence. I gave her a weak smile.

"I didn't tell you because when I found out I was pregnant, only the day before you'd bemoaned the idea of fatherhood. You've never wanted to be a father. I was terrified of what you'd do. I love you Jim, I really do, but your propensity to over react is astounding. The Moran situation, you still can't be rational about him, understandably so, but I was trying to protect my best friend and my brothers sadly, through my own fault, it didn't work. Angie, who you seem so keen to blame, she saved my life." I was almost pleading with him.

"I'm your husband Percy, you need to tell me these life altering events." There was almost a soft tone in his voice, it gave me a spark of hop, but it was dashed as Jim turned to Angie.

"You have five minutes, tell me everything fast, don't make me regret my decision." Threatened Jim, a darkness seeping into his voice.

"Don't give me a time limit, Moriarty." Barked Angie, her anger rising, she wasn't letting Jim get to her.

"I'll do what I please." Bit back Jim.

"Angie, don't bate him, just tell him." I could see Jim's ire rise at her challenge. I had to defend her the best I could. Angie took a deep breath and spoke.

"Moran started stalking me a couple months ago, took me a while to realise who it was. Of course, I told Percy, she confronted him because of what he did. I know it wasn't the best thing to do, but it's not her fault Moran beat her. I saw a bit of the struggle on the roof at Barts and found her after Moran had pushed her down two flights of stairs and beaten her, and I called the doctors."

"So, your at the heart of this, fantastic. At least you have some uses. You need to keep your problems to yourself, and stop endangering those around you. You profess to care for Percy, yet you let her get into situations that could kill her. For your information, I wasn't gallivanting, I was dealing with problems caused by your little detective and the arse Moran."

"Don't blame Sherlock for your mistakes. Angie has saved my life more times than you have. Don't make me choose." If he wanted me to choose, then I would and he wouldn't like the outcome.

"Stop behaving like a spoiled child Percy." Sneered Jim.

"Don't patronise me James." I spat at him using his full name.

"I'm not patronising you, I'm simply asking you behave like an adult and not some simpering school girl, plotting and scheming with her friends in the playground. This is real and dangerous." He shouted back. Angie did something so brave and stupid, she stepped between Jim and I, protecting me, she faced up to him and told him the truth of the situation.

"You listen to me, James Moriarty. I'm not the one at the heart of this. I hadn't seen Moran for ten years until either Percy, or more likely YOU, mentioned me to him. He was YOUR best pal, if I heard correctly. If YOU cared so much about her, why would you let her near someone that you knew was that dangerous?! I'm not the one who starts the situations. I'm the one trying to resolve it. YOU are the one who starts the situations, Mr. Consulting Criminal. And most likely, your 'problems' have to do with something illegal, so I don't want to hear about it!" Her defiant tone almost seemed to fuel Jim's manic anger he smiled evilly.

"Angie so filled with fire. He was an associate, HE was the one introduced me to Percy, I've kept her safe, safe until you and her idiot brothers got involved, nothing had harmed her. You lecture me about my illegal activities, do you have any idea what the Holmes family has been involved with over the years. What innocent little Percy has done? Your morals blind you." Bated Jim, he was trying to hurt Angie and me with his words, getting crueler by the second.

"I'm not blind to them. I've looked past them. The only reason I don't look past yours is because you make a living of it, you have fun with messing with people's minds and killing people. Face it, Moriarty. It was just a coincidence that your life caught up with Percy at the same time that I came back in her life." His cold and accusing words had finally pushed my anger and hurt over the edge, I stepped in front of Angie, his attacks were too personal.

"Shut up James, just shut up. You heartless bastard. I've been grieving for three weeks and you didn't even notice, you've hardly been home. Angie is the only person I've had to talk to and I am the one who has been cleaning up your messes for the last eight years." I rushed out, finally at my limit.

"Well now I have to clean up your mess." He yelled; he turned to Angie a menacing tone in his voice.

"Whether it was coincidence or not, I will and do hold you personally accountable to anything happens to Percy." He looked at me one ore time, disgust written across his face.

"I will be away. I'll be back when I'm back." He stormed out of the room slamming the living room door and then the front door hard enough that the windows shook.

"Run away, just like you always do. Don't expect a warm welcome when you return." I yelled back as the door slammed. I was so angry with him. I couldn't really think straight. The tears fell and fell. I slumped back onto the sofa and curled up. I felt Angie flop down next to me.

"God, I hate him." Said Angie, at that moment, I hated him too.

"Right now, so do I. Oh he's so bloody stubborn, he always has to have the last word and be right. He's so much like Sherlock, I want to knock their heads together and see if some sense enters their minds. Men!" I said exasperated and upset.

"I'll stay here tonight. I'm not gonna abandon you, unlike someone else, and I can't deal with Sherlock right now." There was a hard line in her tone, but a reassuring tone too.

"Thanks Angie. I'm so sorry about Jim and Sherlock." I gave Angie a weak smile.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." Replied Angie, I nodded in understanding.