"So, what should we do now?" Sokka was sprawled out on the couch comfortably as he was joined by his fellow Team Avatar members in the upstairs lounge of the Jasmine Dragon, having just enjoyed a hearty meal thanks to the former General Iroh.
"I don't know, but it sure is nice to have nothing to do for a change. We don't seem to have had many days off after the war ended, huh?" Aang settled himself into a reclining position next to Katara as they sat on the couch beside Sokka's, which was mostly taken up by the Water Tribe warrior.
"Well, I like it. For once, I can actually relax without having to worry about the lily livers – I mean, my students trashing the academy while I'm not around." Toph leaned backwards on her couch while picking her nose casually.
"I have to admit, taking a break with no meetings to go to or important duties to take care of is pretty nice." Zuko suddenly noticed The Gaang's Companion lying on the side table on his left and picked it up. "Hey, isn't this the book we received before? The one with the stories about us?"
"Don't bother about it. I'd like to indulge in a nice afternoon nose-picking session without having to think about the crazy stuff in there." Toph propped her feet up on the low table in front of the couch while licking away a booger from the tip of her finger.
"It's like almost everything in the book is about two of us in a romance, isn't it?" Katara sent a wary glance at the book while resting her head on Aang's shoulder.
"Actually, I recall coming across something that isn't a romance story in there." Sokka grabbed the book from Zuko's hands and flipped through the pages before finally stopping at a certain spot. "Ah, here it is! Revenge of the Green Bomb. Sounds interesting, no?"
Toph sat up excitedly. "That's the one with the serial killers after Aang, isn't it?"
"Actually, I think I might like another romance story over serial killers after me, thank you." Aang squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.
"Oh come on, we could all use a break from sappy love stories. This should be fun!" And with that, Sokka started reading.
The Avatar and his friends have saved the world. They have restored peace to the four nations. They have stopped the Fire Lord from burning down the whole earth in his wicked fury. Now everyone thinks they're heroes. Everyone loves them, right?
"Is that a metaphorical question?" Sokka scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Like it says here, we have saved the world, restored peace to the four nations, and stopped the Fire Lord from burning down the whole earth in his 'wicked fury', although to be honest it was more of an insanity streak. I mean, after getting saved from being roasted alive, everyone should love us, right?"
Toph snorted derisively. "With what's happened so far, I'd say there has to be someone who's bucked the trend. You just wait and see."
Wrong. I don't.
"Told you."
They may not remember what they have done to me, but I do. I know what they have done to my life, how they ruined my whole existence. But worst of all, they defiled the one thing I cared about the most, and they just walked away without so much as an apology. They think they can get away with it, but they can't. They can't hide from me forever.
Aang's eyes widened. "Wow. Who is that guy anyway? I don't think we've ever ruined anyone's existence or anything like that."
"Well, except for Fire Lord Ozai, who went from living in a nice flashy palace to rotting in a prison cell." Sokka held out his fingers and started counting them off one by one. "There's also Zhao, whose entire reputation at least was ruined when Momo pulled his sideburns; Combustion Man, who got blasted off a cliff, and…"
"Okay Sokka, we get it. We've ruined a lot of people's existence," Katara said.
"Not that I mind though," Toph piped up.
Ah, there he goes. The bald monk, the last of his kind. He thinks that makes him special. I don't. To me, whoever is at fault with me is no better than the dung of a platypus-bear. He will pay for his crimes against me, and the punishment will be fitting.
"Definitely Ozai. Who else is such an egotistical jerk?"
In response to Sokka's question, four pairs of eyes (one pair sightless) strayed towards Zuko, who raised his hands in self-defense. "Hey, I've changed already, okay?"
"Okay, maybe you don't think of Aang as platypus-bear dung after all," Sokka concluded after a pause.
"Considering he was my one ticket to getting back my honor, I'd agree with you."
I slowly take a bundle from the storing compartment of my stall. I have been nurturing this deadly weapon for quite some time, not letting so much as a speck of dirt land on its surface. I have used all the best tools money can buy in producing this, and now it will serve its purpose well, like it should.
"A… stall? Ozai doesn't have a stall." Aang wrinkled his nose in confusion.
"Maybe it's his part-time job, selling fire-flakes on some street corner when the royal coffers are running short," Sokka speculated.
"Not a chance," Zuko deadpanned.
I can see him stop in front of a stall across the road, admiring the little trinkets on display. He plans to buy one for his girlfriend, I can see. Yes, I know about her. She follows him just about everywhere, and she is as bad as he is. Unfortunately she is not here with him today, otherwise I could have killed two birds with one stone.
"He really hates us a lot, doesn't he?" Sokka turned from the book to his sister and airbending friend, who had just been identified as murder targets in the story.
"Yeah, imagine someone wanting to kill Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen at the same time. Why do that when you can pick them off one by one in leisure?" Toph grinned.
Sokka stared at the blind earthbender. "Sometimes I worry about you, Toph."
No matter, I will get her eventually, her and her brother, the idiot with the ridiculous ponytail. I'm not an expert on fashion sense, but even a three-year-old could tell him his hairstyle is terrible.
"Hey, it's not that bad! It's a warrior's wolftail, not a fashion hairpiece!" Sokka screamed at the book indignantly. "This isn't fair! Zuko's been sporting that bald-egg hairdo since we first met him and he's described as 'ravishing', while I end up with a 'ridiculous ponytail'?!"
"Who're you're calling a bald egg?" Zuko glared at Sokka.
"Guys, we don't have to fight over a story. Settle down." Aang got between his two friends while trying to ease things over.
This is not the time to be musing on my enemy's hairdos, however, for I can see the target preparing to leave the stall. I quickly unwrap the bundle, revealing a mass of green leaves. I call thisgreenus bombilis, otherwise known as the Green Bomb. With this I shall unleash my revenge on anyone who looks down on this humble vegetable, and no one shall dare utter a word against it again.
"Ozai sure loves his veggies," Sokka observed.
"Wouldn't he be more likely to just burn his enemies alive instead of setting killer green plants on them?" Aang asked.
"Besides, I've got a feeling the Fire Lord doesn't do much gardening." Toph crossed her arms across her chest and turned her head to Zuko. "Right?"
"Um, yeah."
"Maybe this isn't Ozai after all," Katara concluded.
The time is right. With all my strength (which is not really a lot for a man my age) I release the beast. I can see it soar through the air in slow motion, flying straight towards the boy's head. This revenge will be sweet.
"Okay, let's do a recap on what we know about this serial killer out to get Aang." Sokka held up his fingers one by one. "One: we've destroyed his existence. Two: he hates me, Aang and Katara, with no mention of Toph or Zuko yet, so we could have run into him while getting to the Northern Water Tribe."
"Or maybe he just doesn't hate me and Zuko as much as he hates you three. You have to admit Sokka, I'm way more likable than you."
"Don't interrupt me Toph, and in terms of likeability I'd say we're pretty much even. Three: he's crazy about vegetables. Four: he must be a fair age, since that's what the story says."
"Five: Aang's about to get his head knocked out by a mass of murderous green leaves," Toph added.
"Thanks, Toph. I'm not sure if I wanna hear the rest of this story." Aang glanced at the book in Sokka's hands warily.
"Relax Aang, I'm sure you'll get saved by someone in the end. Wouldn't want to kill off the last airbender, now do we?" And with those words of reassurance, Sokka continued with the story.
What's this? A giant shadow has blocked out the sun! What's going on? I see the young Airbender look up – not in fear, but delight. "Appa!" he cried.
Aang looked bewildered. "Appa's gonna save me?"
"Hey, he's a ten-ton six-footed flying bison – there must be something he can do. Besides, the big furry guy likes you a lot," Sokka said.
Appa? The furry behemoth has a name? It is too late now, for I can see the Green Bomb bouncing off the creature's hairy body. It comes flying straight at me, but doesn't hit me. Rather, I am knocked down by the giant's huge tail, which almost crashes every bone in my body.
"I feel for you, unknown serial killer out to get Aang. I know all too well the dangers of the great hairy behemoth's rear end." Sokka ended his testimony with a mock solemn hand over his heart.
"On top of that, the big guy turns out to be surprisingly bouncy." Toph grinned as she sat back and crossed her arms behind her head. "Wonder what would happen if I chuck a few boulders at him? They just might bounce back, and then I can play rock-squash without endangering some random wall."
"Appa's not for playing rock-squash," Aang huffed.
I finally manage to get up, which is already a miracle in itself. I don't know how anyone could survive being around this beast.
"Don't worry, I don't understand either," Sokka shrugged.
Katara raised a wry eyebrow. "Well, for someone who's spent almost a year flying around the world on said 'beast' and coming out of it very much alive and well, I'd say you're pretty dense."
"True." Toph nodded her agreement.
However, a horrible sight awaits me. I see my beloved stall, the pride and joy of my life, crushed to pieces, its wares smashed into bits. In the middle of the debris lies a lone ball of green mash, half-destroyed as well.
"And now we have Appa, the Green-Bomb Slayer." Sokka raised his arms dramatically above his head to provide the needed effect. "The one-of-a-kind killer-vegetable shield that also makes a fine pet and a great means of transport, as long as you steer clear of his behind."
"We still don't know who's the person that wants me dead, though," Aang pointed out.
A memory suddenly flashed through Katara's mind: a wild roller-coaster ride along a mail chute in Omashu, ending with a crash and bits of cabbage everywhere with an outraged stall owner jumping about and yelling in fury for them to pay for the damage with their heads, one for each cabbage. "Hey wait, I think I know who it is…"
No! They have done it again! They have destroyed all I have worked for, and all in the blink of an eye! How dare them! This was supposed to be my revenge! My moment of glory where I wield punishment on those who have defied me! It should not have come to this! Anger and frustration boil up inside my body, and I let it all out in a scream.
"MY CABBAGES!"
"THE CABBAGE MERCHANT!" the three original members of Team Avatar said together at the last sentence.
"The cabbage who-now?" Toph repeated in confusion.
"We ruined his stall back when we were in Omashu riding the mail chutes," Sokka explained.
"I know about Omashu's mail chutes. I didn't know you could ride them though," Zuko spoke up.
"It was my idea, actually. But we only met him that one time, and that's not reason enough to want to kill us, right?" Aang looked around at his friends.
Sokka shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe we did run into him a few other times, only we forgot what with having the fate of the world on our minds at the time. Or maybe that one crash was enough to send him out of business."
"And who minds anyway? Cabbages are yucky." Toph stuck out her tongue in disgust.
"Not to mention half the stuff in this book, although I guess this is pretty decent." Sokka ran his hand over the page's surface.
"Compared to the other stories that put me with Zuko, yes this is definitely better," Katara agreed. "We might have just gotten lucky though."
"Well, maybe we'll just get lucky again. Who's up for another story?" And Sokka began flipping through the pages once again.
This is the first time I've actually used something published before - Revenge of the Green Bomb was published last year. Reviews are welcome, and I've already gotten one request for a story to be put here, so if you want to see your own story here as well just tell me! Till next time, folks!