Aya stood in the bathroom, feeling both irritated and happy. She'd be lying if she said this life was easy, but it was getting easier every day. She just...wasn't used to this...living with Aki. Yes, they had lived together all their lives, but this was different somehow. This...sharing space. Sharing a small, limited amount of space.
It was disconcerting to realize that she was getting to know him better. Disconcerting because, prior to this situation, she had thought she knew him best. But...all the time she was learning new details, new facets that she just hadn't seen before.
Like...he was a whole lot neater than she had given him credit for. Nine chances out of ten that he had closed that drawer behind her. She did that sometimes, purposefully disrupted the order of things just to see if he'd come behind her and correct it. She didn't understand why, but it both amused and irritated her. While she was sure it just plain irritated him.
And there was the moodiness. She knew, with how things had fallen apart on them, that it was to be expected. And she really couldn't fault him for getting upset sometimes, but she just wasn't used to it.
Seeing her brother frazzled. She was the emotional twin, while he was always the more grown-up. It was their roles and she had gotten comfortable with them. But lately he had been a curious mix of worry and teasing and exasperation, tugging playfully on her hair one moment, only to turn around and throw a fit about something completely irrelevant the next.
People deal with change and stress in many different ways, she excused mentally.
While her coping mechanism had been some uncharacteristic clinging. Which was why she had suggested she start walking home now. It had to be wearing on his nerves, seeing her every moment they weren't at work. It had gotten to feel like they were the only real people in the world. She was still keeping her distance from the people at work, still wary of settling in, of letting people get to know her. She was still acting as if they were all potential enemies. All potential exposure. And outside of work, she was at home.
She hadn't even realized she was clinging so hard to his presence, not until Rei, one of her co-workers, had asked her to come with him to a nearby cake-shop on their lunch break.
She had been surprised, having thought that being so quiet nobody would notice her. And all she had been able to think was...Aki probably wouldn't like someone else coming along with them to lunch.
And when she mentioned she already had plans, Rei had said, 'With that blonde guy, right? If you're already seeing someone...'
She hadn't heard him after that. All she could think about was that she...didn't like this version of her. This Aya-lite, with half the personality and stubbornness, too afraid of the unknown to even venture beyond the protection of her brother's shadow.
It wasn't like her.
And what's more, it had to be driving him crazy. To constantly have her underfoot, to see her every day and every night, and not even have his books or music to give him the illusion of escape. No wonder he had been so...moody lately.
She frowned at the mirror, undoing her towel to wrap it around her hair instead, squeezing the excess moisture out to help it dry.
But when she had tried to pull back, to give him a little breathing room...well, he hadn't even wanted to consider her suggestion.
She didn't want to be a burden, but he just wouldn't compromise on this. She hated when he got in this stubborn mind-set, because, despite years of trying, she still hadn't figured out how to get around it.
She didn't understand defeat, so she had to concede that they were at yet another impasse, and then try again later.
Someday he was going to have to see things her way, though. It was only inevitable, if she kept trying.
He couldn't be stubborn forever, right?
TBC...