Jasper Pov
"Okay, so Bella was nervous to go to Edward's house, she worried that his family wouldn't like her."
"She worried about being liked?" Edward interrupted Bella with disbelief and Bella smirked, which Jasper thought was an odd response to his attitude and question.
"Edward was stunned that she wasn't more afraid of the fact she was meeting a house full of vampires." Bella just continued as if he had said nothing, and Jasper chuckled just a little. "Esme and Carlisle were so cautious as they met her, making no sudden movements at all. Alice stunned them all by racing to Bella's side full vamp speed." Bella gave Alice a smile. "You hugged or kissed her and then commented on how good she smelled."
"Well, you do smell very good." Alice teased in that bedroom voice Jasper loved so, and got a light blush from Bella.
"Okay then," Bella grimaced at the amusement in their faces, before getting back to her story. "Jasper didn't come close, it turned out Edward told him to keep his distance." Bella's irritation was easy to see, it didn't take Jasper's gift. "Rosalie refused to meet Bella, she thought the entire thing was a disaster in the making, and wasn't willing to play nice with the 'human'." Bella looked over at Rosalie, who was receiving a few dark looks from Edward. "And it was a disaster in the making, it wasn't like she wasn't right. Emmett stayed away with Rosalie, but he had no problem meeting Bella, he just stuck with his mate. So the visit was with fewer vampires, and Bella found out Edward played piano, that Carlisle was older than dirt, and that you collect graduation caps."
"You do realize that Carlisle is merely a child in some circles?" Tanya laughed and Bella gave the phone a small smile that had Rosalie's back up again. Jasper wondered if this was how Rosalie was going to be around any single vampire being nice to Bella until she made her claim firm with Bella, and how long that might take. Edward gave out a quiet growl at Jasper's thoughts, and Jasper sent his irritation back as an emotion.
"Yes, I do. And you realize that once you reach a certain age, years don't matter anymore. Once I was twenty five, my life wasn't that much different from year to year after that. I would bet that is the same?"
"Good bet." Tanya spoke slower and Jasper wondered how the Denali's took the talk about Bella being older at one time. Edward was irritated and concerned at the twist in the topic, and Esme was strangely embarrassed by it.
"Okay then, where was I?" Bella frowned as she stared down at her notes.
"Carlisle is older than dirt." Emmett spoke up with a smile.
"Okay then, so Carlisle is older than dirt." Bella repeated with a mischievous smile and the Denali's were laughing loud enough for Bella to hear. "I don't think much else came from the meeting really, so I'll move on." Bella looked over her notes carefully. Her smile faded.
"Okay," Her voice was much more serious. "Edward pushed to be introduced to Charlie, because he claimed he needed incentive to not kill her and leave her body in the woods, and Charlie knowing it was him she was going out with would do that. I think that was stupid logic, but she finally caved and introduced him."
"Fuck man, way to woo a girl." Emmett spoke with some disgust.
"He said things like that and she still wanted to date him?" Rosalie asked with just as much disgust.
"I know, wasn't the smartest thing to do. I think people tend to feel invincible until they run into life hard." Bella sighed heavily. "But keep in mind that Bella read the old classics and the horrid doomed romances as if they were all that. Romeo and Juliet was among her favorites, so maybe she had a warped idea of love and death."
"And you love the Anita Blake series, what does that say about you?" Emmett teased.
"That I have a healthy obsession with love and death." Bella smirked.
"And sex," Alice teased.
"Who writes this Anita Blake series?" Irina asked. "Is it good?"
"It's a perverted fantasy novel with immoral relationships." Edward said in disgust and earned a few dark looks.
"So yes, it's good." Emmett added. They actually took the time out of the story to give the Denali's the author's name, like this was a book club. Jasper understood Edward's irritation at that moment. They'd worked hard to get Bella ready to share this story and they got sidetracked during it.
When they finally got back on track, Bella became resigned and tense. "So the big family date was a baseball game."
"She got to see us play? Man, I bet you'd love that." Emmett spoke up, but Bella didn't smile or react to him.
"In the middle of the game, some nomads dropped by, James, Victoria, and Laurent." Alice growled quietly at the news, and they all tensed up. "The thing with those three, is that everyone underestimated each of them. God." Bella sighed heavily and rubbed her eyes. "Okay, so James is a tracker and a sadist. Honestly, if this were going to happen, I'd be grateful that Bella was there to draw his attention, because otherwise I'm sure he would have gone after Alice again. Alice ruined his perfect kill record after all." Jasper snarled quietly and Alice's hand on his own was needed to help him calm down.
"Victoria is just as bad as him, but with her she has the added advantage of being delusional. She thought James loved her, that they were mates, but even though the story didn't say it, I'd bet he was just fascinated with her powers. She had the power to avoid danger, a super sense that made it possible for her to run through battles surrounded by her enemies and laugh and dodge every attack. She could always find the safe way out. She'd be fun for a tracker to track, she was good, really good. She was also smart and manipulative. Edward, in that ball field, didn't notice the real danger. He focused on James, and later you'll find that was a mistake."
Bella's eyes moved to the phone, and she talked right to it. "The third vampire, Laurent, he played the game well. He's the kind of guy that will appear to surrender if he thinks he'll lose, but he is just clever and a bit of a coward, he isn't one that you should turn your back on though. Carlisle made the mistake when after the first confrontation Laurent visited claiming to want no part of James plan to hunt Bella. He sent Laurent to Denali. Laurent claimed to be interested in your odd diet, lies, all lies." They could all hear Bella swallow hard. "Sometimes it's not good to believe the best in people."
"What did he do?" Tanya spoke coldly.
"I should take this in order, but," Bella glanced over at Alice, who nodded just a little. "He manipulated your family into telling him about the Cullens' gifts and shared that information. He," Her words trailed off.
Alice spoke up. "Laurent tricked Irina into thinking they were mates, and it set a series of events in motion that Bella will tell us about, but the end result is that Irina died." Shock filled the room and a few gasps were heard on both sides of the phone. "That's why Bella wanted your family to hear this. She felt you deserved to know what her being here did. I want you to know it saved you Irina, the fact that we have this Bella saved you."
"I think perhaps we should have come in person. I'm sorry that we didn't think of that." Tanya said after a tense moment.
"It's okay." Bella muttered and took several deep breaths. No one commented on the tear tracks on her face. It was something to know she was crying for a female she'd never met, and it made Jasper more concerned about if Bella had bad news for any of them, because clearly it was hard for her. Alice kept giving Bella supportive looks when she was looking and concerned looks when she wasn't.
"So Bella took off with Alice and Jasper to Phoenix to hide, while the others tried to trick James and Victoria into thinking Bella was with them." Bella was talking a bit faster than normal, but with little emotion in her voice. He pushed calm at her, but it didn't slow her down. "The nomads split up and Victoria got Bella's old address from the school, sending James there. Bella apparently did a classic prey move, heading back home and it was easy to figure out. Alice, Jasper, and Bella were hiding out in a hotel in Phoenix." Bella glanced over at him and then at Alice. "James found a way to trick you all. He convinced Bella that he had her mother, he didn't. He told her that she'd have to come to him if she wanted her mother to be okay, and he had Bella figure out how to get away from Alice and Jasper. When Edward was coming after them, after realizing that James was nearby, Bella used the airport as a way to escape. She ran right to what she expected to be her death to save Renee."
"Why wasn't I already there?" Edward growled.
"Because of how you acted in the field. The nomads assumed you wouldn't let anyone else watch over Bella, so you used that to keep them tracking you for a while. It doesn't matter, you'd have been just as helpless to stop her. You suck at trying to understand people when you don't have your gift." Bella's voice started to get a little louder at the end, but she calmed herself down.
"So James taunted her, filmed this and told her about how he'd been the one to try and kill Alice years ago. He tossed her around like a rag doll breaking bones. He also managed to make her bleed and at that point Bella was glad to bleed, because she knew it would all be over fast after that." Bella swallowed hard again, and Jasper upped his dose of calm on everyone. "Just before Edward, Jasper, Alice and Carlisle got there and killed him, he bit her hand."
Bella paused, frustratingly, and seemed to be collecting her thoughts. Everyone was silent and tensely waiting for her to speak again. "Edward really does not want a vampire mate. Bella was his singer and still when Carlisle said it might be possible to suck venom out, he tried it. He stopped the change, and then they took her to the hospital."
"Oh my god."
"Is that even possible?"
With a singer?"
Bella had stunned them all, and Jasper found himself staring at Edward with as much shock as Edward was staring at Bella with.
Bella stared back at Edward. "She'd just gone through an assault, and the certainty of her own death, and when she woke up in the hospital Edward was telling her how she'd be better off if he just left her, she'd be safer. His self loathing is disgusting and he had no sympathy left for her because he was feeling sorry for himself." Edward opened his mouth, but Bella glared at him and continued talking. "She was terrified at that moment that he'd leave her, and tried to get a promise that he wouldn't out of him. He worded it in a way that he could break it at any time, "I'll stay as long as it's good for you." He said, what a bullshit move. So that means he's taken all the power away from her right after an assault, and she knows, part of her knows, that the end is dangling over her and she is powerless to do anything about it. She tried to believe him, that he wouldn't be arbitrary about 'good for you', but she was never really the same after he said those words. There was a hint of desperation to her. James couldn't destroy her, but now it was Edward's turn to try."
"Is it really necessary to be this harsh?" Carlisle spoke up and Bella turned to look at him with eyes older than even her thirty six years.
"Powerlessness." Bella said to Carlisle, "Have you ever taken Psychology classes? Was that the right feeling to instill in Bella right after she came too?" She glanced at Edward. "Do you know what I'm talking about?"
"It was a mistake to do that." Edward managed weakly. "It was absolutely the wrong thing to do to a woman at that time."
"That's right." Rosalie spoke firmly, just those two words, but it kept anyone else from talking for a tense moment.
"That seemingly tiny scene stood out to me in the story and I could see what it did. Your self hatred, and willingness to blame everything on your being a vampire is not healthy for you and until you deal with it, and learn to love yourself, you will hurt, seriously hurt, anyone that tries to love you. Even if you think your soul is damned, it is not like you're going to die soon, so why let it haunt you?"
Edward was feeling confused and hurt. Jasper noted that Carlisle seemed to have decided to feel some guilt of his own. Bella just shook her head and sighed heavily. "Okay, so to make matters worse let's return to Renee and her lovely parenting skills. The story was that Bella was so upset about falling in love with anyone from a small town that she ran away, and Edward and his family raced after her. It would be a fear that Renee instilled her her, because she hated that she'd married young and had a child, and she didn't keep that a secret from Bella. You all claimed that Bella fell down the stairs and through a window to get all those cuts and broken bones. Once Bella was awake, Renee talked to her for a little bit, pointing out that she was concerned that it seemed like Edward loved her. She didn't address the apparent insanity that was Bella running away from love as if it would kill her. Renee didn't want Bella falling in love so young. Then Renee smiles, pats Bella on the head and says she has to go home and make dinner for Phil. I met Phil, he would have been the first to say Renee should be with her daughter at a time like that, but instead Renee left the Cullens in charge of taking care of her child, while she left the hospital. Fucking bitch. I don't know how Bella wasn't mortified that you would all see how little her mother cared, but she was used to it and didn't think a thing of it. Bella went to her death for that woman, she was hurt because she tried to save that woman, and Renee didn't stay an hour."
Bella swore openly and with anger, and Esme didn't even get irritated at it. That was a clear clue that Esme agreed with what Bella was saying. Jasper felt some anger all around the table, even from Edward, at that moment.
"That was her relationship with her mother, and her relationship with Charlie wasn't anywhere as good as mine is with him. Sure, they loved each other, but she could barely talk to him. You need to keep that in mind when you think about that Bella, because she latched onto your family so tight in her mind. It was what she imagined family should be, and it came with what she considered the perfect man for her. She put all her hopes and dreams into this house. That's about to prove to be a mistake she made." Jasper could hear and feel the pain in Bella's words and realized that Bella wasn't just talking about the girl from the story here. Whether or not Bella realized it, she'd also put her entire life into this family. Whatever they learned today, he was going to bring that up. Bella felt it was a mistake for the other Bella to put her heart on the line here, and yet she was doing it herself. How was that affecting her?
"Alice had visions of Bella becoming a vampire." Bella spoke up and Edward turned to glare at Alice, so Jasper turned to stare at him threateningly. "Edward was dead set against it. That didn't put Bella in a good place. He tried to keep information from her, and so in the two years that story I'm telling you spans I learned very little about what it means to be a vampire. If Bella learned it in the story, it wasn't from Edward. Alice explained how very painful being turned was, even though she doesn't remember it for herself."
"I think that I should have a say in if MY mate became a vampire." Edward hissed out. Jasper's eyes widened at the rage he felt coming from Bella at that moment.
Bella's eyes narrowed. "Oh, and should your mate decide what your diet should be? Would you switch to human if she asked?" He looked as appalled as all of them were at that moment. "Oh right, what you eat is your choice, because it's important, but what your potential mate IS is not her choice. I don't get it. Doesn't matter to me though, wait until the end of the story before you open your mouth and prove to be an ass, don't worry you sang that tune repeatedly throughout this story."
"Okay, there is no need for that language." Esme spoke up. "Bella, calm down."
Jasper watched Bella grit her teeth and she was taking deep breaths for a moment. "Okay, let me put it this way." Bella looked up and this time addressed Esme. "Bella knew Alice had a vision of her being a vampire, and she knew Edward was forever seventeen. She was seventeen, so it was okay. However, when her birthday started to get close and she was going to be eighteen she started having nightmares. She started getting nervous. How old of a woman can a seventeen year old boy date? You all live in towns, around humans, so the rules will appear to apply. How long can she have her mate before she's forced to give him up or lie? At what point is she facing jail time if people realize she's with him?" Bella stared at Esme. "If you pretended to date Edward, if you were using that as your cover instead of the parent, would you get away with it? You're only how many years older than him? Less than ten right?" Bella shook her head as Esme frowned at her. "Bella knew this, knew that if it wasn't addressed she'd be single before graduating college, she'd have to be, or she could be the dirty little secret for the rest of her life, that's nice. Problem was she saw Edward as her forever and she had nightmares about being old and grey while he looked the same. I know it would be hard for me to navigate those emotions, and I'm an adult, that teenager girl was a mess, and he wouldn't even talk to her about it, wouldn't explain his position in any detail, give real reasons why, he just issued a blanket no. He might as well of said she'd be a nice bit on the side, but he didn't see it going anywhere. In the back of her mind she knew he'd threatened to leave her, and now she has a limited time when she's appropriate for him before she's too old. That girl was in tears because she turned eighteen."
Bella glanced at Alice and there was some pain in her eyes. "She didn't want a party, it wasn't a good thing in her mind and she had a real problem accepting gifts. To be given something meant she owed something in return in her mind. It's screwed up, but I'm sure that's Renee's fault too. Alice bullied her into a party, and wouldn't listen to the fact Bella said no." Bella's voice went softer. "There was no way to know how horribly wrong it would go. I understand wanting to celebrate something you probably don't do yourselves anymore, I get it, and I don't want you to beat yourself up for more than just not listening." A sense of dread filled the room and Jasper reached out to take Alice's hand to support her.
"It's okay Bella. I know what happened, and I'm ready for this." Alice spoke softly, but it wasn't hard to see the pain in her face. Bella had some tears in her eyes again, and he felt her reluctance, her urge to just stop, but Bella forced herself on.
"Jasper, you ran into the ballet studio with everyone else and you helped kill James even as Bella was bleeding profusely on the floor. You never went after her there. You were able to be near her in the hotel with no problems that I could see." Bella swallowed hard. "But after that attack Edward issued a no contact rule for you. What would happen if Edward didn't practice with my scent and didn't get exposed to it at all and then I walked into the house and sliced a finger open good?"
"Oh my god." Rosalie whispered, her fear and dread growing. Jasper noticed Rosalie grasping at Emmett's hand hard.
"Limiting exposure made it worse and Bella sliced her finger open on a gift." Bella spoke with a flat tone. "Jasper started toward her and Edward moved to push her out of the way and block him, but he pushed hard and she flew across the room and into the glass bowl, slicing her entire arm opened." Bella shook her head. "You guys weren't ready and it was too much blood. Everyone but Carlisle had to leave while he tended to her."
"It was while Carlisle was tending to her that Bella finally learned why Edward said no to turning her. He believed in heaven and hell and thought vampires lost their souls. He'd been dating her for about 6 months at this point and he couldn't have told her something that core to his beliefs in that time? Instead he let her feel unwanted every time he dismissed the conversation." Bella shook her head and Jasper gave Edward a shake of his own head at the idiocy of his brother in this story. "It makes me wonder what the hell they ever talked about, if this never came up." Under her breath Bella muttered.
"Anyway," Bella glanced at the phone again, as if just remembering it. "Bella lived with an increasing feeling of dread for a few days as Edward distanced himself from her emotionally. She looked for Alice, for help, but Alice wasn't there. It was senior year so she had no idea that no one else was still there. Edward took her out into the woods, woods he'd told her never to wander into, and he ripped her soul away with his words. He didn't want her, he was tired of pretending to be human, she was a nice diversion but he'll find other things to occupy his time. Oh, please try to live, for Charlie's sake, but the family and I are leaving. They didn't stay to say goodbye, it's easier that way." Bella's voice was cold and angry. "What she heard was she wasn't good enough for him, and that Alice, Alice had left her behind. She could only mutter that in shock as he started to leave her there."
"Oh god." Alice let out a quiet pained whisper. "Never, I'll never do that Bella." Bella couldn't hear it, it was too quiet, but everyone else did and Jasper sent calm and peace into his distraught mate. Bella couldn't even look up from her paper, but with the tears hitting the page he doubted she was reading it.
"She ran after him when he left, further into the woods and got lost out there. Eventually Sam Uley, the first of the wolves, found her. Edward left her to keep her away from supernatural creatures and now Bella was about to learn about the shifters, the wolves, that were starting to change in La Push. It would take a while though, because she had a mental breakdown and lost months of her life moving around mechanically and hearing nothing. You all left in September, and I think she didn't even understand what was happening or notice time slipping by until February. I think she would have killed herself if he hadn't gotten that promise out of her, but the problem with promises," Bella looked up at Edward. "Who keeps promises to people who broke your heart and their own promises? You asked her to live to be safe, and once she got through a few stages of grief, she did what most girls her age would do, anything you wouldn't want her to."
Edward needed help and Jasper moved his focus to him, to try and calm him and remove some of the pain he was feeling.
"She discovered that if she put her life in danger her mind would fill in a hallucination of Edward's voice, angry at her for being in danger. It was warped, but Edward took everything she had, every picture, she had nothing to remember him by and so she took to putting her life in danger to hear him. She got closer to Jacob as she learned to ride motorcycles. Jacob wanted her, and he also was a fun guy to be around. Bella never smiled anymore and it was a surprise to her to find she was capable of it around him." Bella stared up at Edward with little compassion. "Jacob became a wolf. Turned out to be a good thing though, because you all killed James and Edward tried to track Victoria on his way out of town, but he's not a tracker and she's smart. Victoria decided to kill Bella, and the wolves were in the way without even realizing why she was coming to Forks."
"You mean we left her with a vampire after her?" Esme's voice cracked.
"And she was losing marbles fast." Emmett added.
"Yes she was, and yes, you did. Gets worse." Bella sighed and looked at the phone again. "Irina." Bella muttered so quietly it was probably to herself, but everyone heard it. "Bella was in the woods, because she was looking for the meadow, the last place she thought might make her happy, she'd spent time with Edward there. Edward wasn't the vampire she found there though." Bella took a shaky breath. "Bella was actually happy to see Laurent, the first vampire she'd seen in months. She'd heard he joined the Denali coven and expected he was safe. She asked how he liked Tanya, I think that might be the only name she remembered from your coven, and he said 'I like Tanya fine, but I really like her sister Irina.' Seemed innocent enough, even a good sign, but he followed it up with telling her he was there on a favor for Victoria and she should be grateful he found her, because Victoria was going to be ruthless and he'd kill her quickly. The wolves came, Bella saw them for the first time as they chased Laurent away and ripped him apart. She didn't know they won though, so she went home and laid in bed every night waiting to be killed for days. She was determined to take her death in silence so that maybe her dad wouldn't come and get killed too. Laurent just never came to do it, and Victoria was working on other plans at the moment."
"Oh god, that brave girl." Irina muttered loud enough for Bella to hear. Hearing it, Bella seemed to relax a little on her own, so Jasper didn't have to hold as much calm over her.
….
Esme pov
Esme had dreamed about Edward finally finding a mate, for him to no longer be the odd man out, but it was sounding more and more like a nightmare. All the problems he'd had that she'd assumed love would fix, like his self hatred, and his somewhat misogynistic views, actually caused problems and weren't resolved. She felt like a failure, not realizing that he'd need to work on himself first, that he wasn't ready for love. That poor girl from the story had suffered because they'd let Edward's emotional issues continue rather than upset him with asking him to work on dealing with them. They'd coddled him right into torturing his own mate with his issues and pain.
The thought that even as they watched that happen, they hadn't stopped him shamed her endlessly. If that Bella was even a fraction of what this Bella was, they should have stood up for her, but they didn't. Why didn't they? Should she ask Bella? Would she know?
"Bella," Esme spoke just as Bella was apparently getting ready to, but Bella didn't seem to mind. "Do you know why we didn't stand up for her? If all of this was happening we should have done something."
Bella sighed softly and looked thoughtful. "I'm not sure, but Edward was good about isolating her, controlling her, so perhaps you all never really got to know her much." Those words made Esme sick, because those were the actions of an abuser, she was very familiar with that. "It seemed to me that you loved her just because he loved her, it was just how she made him feel that earned her a place here." Bella frowned at that just as Esme did. "I think Alice was the only one that she really spent any time with other than Edward, and the story didn't talk about that much."
"So she didn't spend time with Rosalie?" Edward asked and Esme resisted giving him a glare, because she understood the cutting remark there.
"No, Rosalie didn't like her." Bella gave a small smile at Rosalie, so she was clearly not upset with the idea. "Bella didn't think things through and accepted a 'master', because Edward didn't treat her like an equal. She also wanted to be a vampire simply because Edward was one, she had no facts and didn't seem to care, she was willing to make up her mind without much to go on because Edward forbid anyone to talk about it. It didn't really seem like she thought about much and I know that had to grate on Rose." Bella's voice was softer, and her eyes stayed on Rosalie in a way that showed Edward had lost that little battle long before he thought to fight it. Esme wasn't sure how she'd missed this happening, and she wondered if Bella was even aware of how she looked at Rosalie.
Bella continued by looking back at Edward. "I don't like her myself, I just think she deserved better but she was a bit messed up too. She did some things to Edward I don't agree with either. And as for her constantly asking to be a vampire," Bella shook her head, "who makes a huge decision based strictly on emotions? I can't even imagine not researching something important. Hell, I researched my college major for two years before committing and I still screwed it up." That reminded Esme that she really needed to help Bella pick her major this time, because she was about to pick the wrong thing again, all because she wanted stability. If Rose got what she wanted, Bella would have stability, so she could pick a major that made her happy and not miss out on anything.
"Are you really going to support that?" Edward whispered angrily at her.
"I honestly don't see where it's any of my business." She answered just as quietly. Bella heard none of it and the family looked a bit confused, the few that had heard it. It shouldn't have been loud enough for the Denali's to catch. It wasn't Esme's business, but that didn't mean she wasn't apprehensive with the idea. It seemed so strange and wrong, but then she'd never met anyone in a relationship like that before and she couldn't say that it wouldn't work. She was doubtful, but still if the possibility existed she wasn't going to be the one to say no. She was going to, however, make sure this Bella was never under the impression she was accepted just because she was dating someone in the family if it did happen. No, this Bella was welcome to join their family at any time, no need to 'marry into it'.
Tanya spoke up. "What was it like waking up in a new body?"
"Terrifying." Bella spoke that one word that it encapsulated everything and Esme felt a pang of pain for her, knowing she'd just recently, finally, had someone she could talk to about that. "In the beginning I was really worried I'd be locked away. Then I was worried Renee would scramble my brains with experimental drugs. I'm also not a fan of the fact that I've lost all my adult privileges. I have a curfew now, and I just managed to get a job, but I can't use my real resume so it's a crappy job. Still, this life is starting to grow on me, and if I'm honest, I was dying and I'd have accepted a lot worse to keep living."
"Would you accept being a vampire, if that was what was required? If the Volturi learn about you there is a very large risk to all of us now." Tanya spoke and there was a hiss from both Edward and Rosalie, but Esme watched Bella just pause for a moment, clearly thinking about it.
"Well, yeah, between death and vampire, I'd prefer vampire, but I'm still learning what it is to be a vampire and if I had to choose between human and vampire I don't have the information to even start deciding that one. I do know I'd beat anyone's ass who turned me before I'm twenty if I wasn't a minute from dead already."
"Okay, good to know." Tanya sounded amused and somewhat relieved. Esme wasn't sure how she felt at all, but Bella was glancing at her notes again and there was doubtlessly more to share that would shake up Esme's world, so she pushed the thoughts of making Bella a vampire to the back of her mind for now, since it didn't seem like an immediate threat and Bella wasn't asking for anything more than information, if that.
"Okay, back to the story. When Bella found out Jake was a wolf, she became close to the pack and Jake started to push a bit harder for her to 'chose him'. He wanted her as a girlfriend and she was so desperate for someone to fill the hole in her chest that Edward left her with that she was considering it. She didn't think she'd ever fully love again, but she did really like Jacob and she could make HIM happy. She was giving up, and to a wolf which is stupid as can be. They imprint, which means any length of relationship can be tossed aside once the wolf imprints on their 'soulmate' and she would have just been left, again, and I really don't think she would have survived it again." Bella glanced at Esme and that had Esme tensing up, because Bella had done that every time she was about to say something that would hurt someone specifically, she'd look at them first, with those sad eyes.
"Bella still had her 'voice' in her head but it was getting harder for her to get him to talk. She'd seen the wolves diving from cliffs and she decided to do that." Esme quietly put a hand over her mouth, because for Bella to have looked at her before this meant that Bella knew Esme had tried to commit suicide once, by jumping off a cliff. Shame filled her, along with concern for a girl that no longer existed. "It was a bad day to cliff dive for several reasons. When she hit the water she found out that the storm also made the waters churn and she wasn't strong enough to swim in that. She also noticed something red in the water, which later I learned was Victoria's hair, that vampire was just moments away from capturing her, when the wolves came. Jacob swam her to shore and revived her. He took her home to recover and then drove her to her house."
There was a pause that took a while and they all watched Bella frown and consider her words. "Charlie's friend Harry died that day, heart trouble. There were other things going on, but I'm not sure they are important here. When Bella got to the house, Carlisle's car was outside. She was eager to see someone, anyone, and Jacob was pissed that she'd be willing to talk to any of you after all that happened. The wolves are very prejudiced, but also seeing the pain Bella constantly went through, well, Jacob was not going to be calm about this. He left her there, because with a Cullen in town he couldn't be in Forks, even though Victoria was hunting her. Fucked up treaty, but keeping the wolves out is probably better if we avoid the Victoria problem." Esme had not enjoyed the crafting of that treaty so she wasn't eager to approach the tribe and ask for changes. Bella's language left a bit to be desired, but with the tension coming off of her Esme didn't have the heart to say anything.
"Alice was stunned to see Bella was alive. She'd seen her jump and then nothing, because wolves don't show in her visions." Bella glanced over at Alice, who just reached out and took her hand, holding it. Esme braced herself, because something was coming. Bella's eyes were looking all over the room and it was hard to interpret that warning and not think a world of pain was on the way.