Chapter 23 – Losing Faith

Angie came storming into the kitchen; she made me jump as she yelled.

"I swear I am going to KILL him!"

"What's happened? Kill who?" I asked.

"Sherlock. He...come on, I shouldn't be crying! It's his own damn fault!" She sobbed, hot angry tears pouring down her face. I was going to kick my idiot brother for whatever he'd done to upset Angie.

"Angie, calm down sweetie. Take a deep breath. What has Sherlock done?!"

"He relapsed." She whispered, still crying. I was silent for a minute, letting her words sink.

"What?! After the promise he made me?! Oh Angie, I'm so sorry." I said, trying to soothe her.

"I don't know what to do. Although; I don't want to do anything to help him. He can deal with this himself." She was angry, and understandably so. I was angry too.

"I'll help him. You need to have some space and time. It's going to be hard."

"Tell me about it." She said quietly, her sarcasm showing how annoyed she still was. Her crying had clamed, to the odd sniffle.

"Can you get Harry out of the house, I'll go over and deal with Sherlock." She nodded, there was a brief pause. I re-boiled the kettle and both made us tea. She smiled in thanks as I handed her the mug. Angie took a deep breath.

"He called me Irene. And that kind of thing doesn't just come out of nowhere. He must have been thinking about her lately. What if that's what he's been hiding? What if he's been seeing her?!" Another shocking revelation, lately Angie had been filled with them.

"I understand how angry you are, I do, but give it some time, he needs to readjust as much as you do. He wouldn't have an affair." Sherlock may be many annoying things; by an adulterer was not one of them.

"But I know how he thinks, all technical. And technically, we're not married, our dating relationship isn't even doing that well, and Irene Adler can seduce the most heartless man. I saw her get what she wants out of men you would never believe would betray their wives." I thought about Irene Adler, it was funny her trying to seduce Jim, he just looked uncomfortable; she was all show.

"It didn't work with my husband! No, Sherlock is loyal to the hilt; he wouldn't betray you like that. He's very old fashioned in some respects."

"But he did fall in love with her, I can tell, no matter how much he denies it. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have bothered saving her life." Sherlock was odd in that respect, I reckon it was her intelligence and blatant disregard for the rules he liked, not her personality.

"Let me find out why he did it. I don't know how anyone could love that woman, but whether or not he did, he loves you, and I know he does." I tried to reassure her, but her confidence was knocked.

"Sometimes, and I hate myself for it, but sometimes I wish I'd never met that man."

"It'll work eventually Angie." I said patting her shoulder.

"Yeah, that's what I thought about Moran, and that's what I thought about Jesse, and those both turned out great!" She was so desolate I wanted to fix it. Then the solution popped into my head. Mycroft, he'd be able to explain Sherlock much better than I could.

"I don't know what to do to make it better, the best person to talk to now would be Mycroft."

"Mycroft?! I suppose. He has had to deal with that idiot before."

"Mycroft might surprise you." I said with a gentle smile.

"I guess I'd better go over there now. It's already late. Do you mind if I stay here tonight?" She asked.

"Of course, I made up the bed for you earlier, I had a feeling you might need it."

"Thanks." Said Angie with a weak smile. She was still a bit shaken after Sherlock's behaviour.

"Anytime. I'll go and sort out my brother." I said consolingly.

"Good luck." Whished Angie.

"You too." I smiled.

I went to change into my running clothes, I heard Angie speaking to Harry on the phone, getting her out of Baker Street. I waited a little, called out goodbye and headed over to 221b.

"You broke your promise, you promised me that you'd never take drugs again. Why, Sherlock, just tell me why?"

"What?" Asked Sherlock blearily.

"Look at you, your already starting feel the withdrawal, what did you take last night?!" I demanded, I was hurt and angry with Sherlock.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The audacity! He looked me in the eye and lied.

"Sherlock, I can see the track mark on your arm." I said bluntly. He had enough humility to look ashamed.

"Honestly, it was all a bit of a blur." He replied quietly, looking at the floor. My anger melted away as I saw the broken expression on his face.

"Sherlock what happened? What upset you that much?" I asked gently. Sherlock stood up suddenly pacing, his voice rising as he spoke.

"I've had a lot on my mind. It was a bit of an overload. I thought I could handle it, I didn't want to hurt Angie...but being back at Duke's...it was too much. I wasn't strong enough. There, are you happy now? No cold, emotionless facade. I've just bared my soul to you." He was so upset and scared. I slowly stood up, keeping eye contact. I took his hand, surprised when he didn't flinch.

"Sherlock I care about you. I understand, and I forgive you." My words caused him to pull away from me and flop back in his chair like a defiant child.

"No offense, but you're not the one I need forgiveness from." I knew it was the come down, making him more irritable than normal, but his words stung.

"If you don't want someone fighting your corner don't have it Sherlock. You broke your promise to me, it hurt a lot. I understand why you did, but it doesn't erase the action. I think Angie may forgive you eventually." I said passionately, letting the hurt spill through into my words. I wiped away a stray tear.

"No she won't. I've done enough to her. She'll be better off without me." Sherlock sighed he was defeated. I knelt in front of him.

"You know that's not true. Sherlock, as much as you like to deny it, we all love you, we want you in our lives."

"Ha. I know how much she's been through. This is the final breaking point, and if it isn't, my...upcoming absence will be." He said darkly, meeting my eyes, I knew him leaving would break Angie, but if he left on good terms then maybe she'd forgive him.

"Sherlock, Angie is an intelligent woman, she'll know that you've left for a reason. When you do go, you need to let her know you're alright, even if she says she doesn't want to speak to you. Give her a sign you're alive."

"That's actually not a bad idea." I smiled at his words.

"Thank you. I won't sugar coat it, Angie is furious, and hurt, and she'll be more so when you leave, but she'll be looked after whilst your gone, I'll watch over her, so will Mycroft." Sherlock nodded. I stood up.

"Now we're going to get you cleaned up and the go for a run. I do hope you can keep up Sherlock."

"The only time I run is when I have to, which is usually only when I'm on a case." He said sounding completely disinterested.

"Tough, right now, I'm in charge. Go change, we are going for a run and don't argue. We'll start with 5 miles. For the next three weeks you and I are going to run every morning, it helps." It did, it focused the mind and expelled the excess energy.

"Oh, dull."

"Do it. Think of it as penance. Go change. Now." I said in clipped phrases, they were instructions not requests.

"I'm finding more and more similarities between you and Angie." I looked at him and nodded. He came out of his room, in some form of relaxed clothing, which I was surprised he owned, but it would do.

"Whatever motivates you? Just don't irritate me, or you get the Moriarty in me, except I'm less playful. Oh and Sherlock..." I said playfully.

"Hmm"

"Try and keep up." I said with a grin and started to run.

I flew down the stairs and waited by the front door, I pulled up my running playlist and could feel the excitement of a competition and a runs ourselves through me. Sherlock followed me down the stairs looking a little disgruntled; at least he'd listened. He locked the door and I immediately started running. To begin with he kept pace, a determination not to be shown up keeping him going, but by mile 3 he was starting to lag, he was now five laces behind me.

Sherlock POV

I had always privately prided myself on being relatively fit, I spent a lot of time running, chasing suspects on cases and quickly exiting situations, but trying to keep up with Percy was hard. She'd barely broken a sweat. Se mad ethics look so easy and kept a fast even pace all the way, never slowing. I had underestimated her level of fitness.

I was loathed to admit it, but it was helping, my brainwashing occupied with what I was doing that the nagging craving had dissipated and I felt less anxious, less restless. When I'd first come off the drugs, I'd gone cold turkey and done it the hard way, I shunned all support. I am Sherlock Holmes; I don't need anybody or anyone's help. Then I met John, then Angie and then Percy. Each of them working their way into my life and finding a way to stay there.

I heard her voice call back to me.

"Come on Sherlock, only one mile left, then you'll be home."

I gave her a withering look, but pushed myself on. I'd never admit to Percy how much her help meant, how could I?

Percy POV

Before long we rounding the corner to Baker Street and I saw Anthea waiting by the car, her customary pose of Blackberry in hand and casual disinterest. She looked up and saw me; she opened the door and gestured for me to get in the car. I was confused; Mycroft never whisked me off anywhere. I got into the car; Sherlock just nodded and went into the flat. Anthea handed me an envelope adorned with Mycroft's signature cursive script. I opened the envelope addressed to me.

Dear Percy,

I only got the call minutes ago; your parents have been murdered. The car will take you straight to Brecon; Anthea will sort everything and anything you need. You have my deepest sympathies. I'm sorry I can't be there I am stuck in Russia.

M

I felt my stomach lurch, I had to re-read the not a hundred times before I could understand the words. I felt a party f me shut down and switch to survival mode. Basic human functions, emotions can come later, deal with the task in hand.

We stopped by the house so I could collect my phone and leave a note in case Angie came over or maybe Jim came home.

We arrived in Brecon quicker than I thought possible. Pulling up in front of my parents house felt strange. I hadn't seen them in months, then no sooner do the arrive home are the killed. It was too early for any alarm to be raised, I opened the front door and tentatively stepped into the house, it was so quiet, the veil of death permeating every brick. I searched upstairs first, and found nothing untoward and slowly made my way downstairs, I kept avoiding the kitchen, I knew, deep down I knew that's where they would be. I can just picture Mum sat at the table with the paper, making comments about which politician had done wrong and Dad making tea. I pushed the door open and fell to my knees, blood slacked the floor, bullet holes in both their heads.

I couldn't stop myself, I wretched, throwing up. Every time I blinked I would see their pale lifeless bodies. I was shaking. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I pulled my phone out and dialled 999. The police were there before I knew any time had passed. I still felt like a zombie. I couldn't stand to stay in their house, I stayed I our rental cottage, empty since Sherlock and Angie had gone back to London.

I stepped into the house and curled up on the sofa. I felt hollow. I sat in the dark staring into space; slowly I felt the tears begin to fall. Soon I was screaming with the pain of losing the two humans who'd taken me in and loved me like their own. I sobbed till I could hardly breathe. I felt desperate and alone.

The next morning, I woke to the cold light of a November morning in my tired eyes. I went back not automatic. I showered, dressed and waited. Eventually a knock on the door broke my reverie, the police liaison wanted to speak to me. I told them all I could remember and what I'd found. I was told I could go back at the end of the day, as everything would've been cleaned.

That night I was informed the post mortems would be completed by Saturday night and that the bodies we to be released on the Monday. I informed Anthea of what I, what they would have, wanted and she organised the service for the Wednesday afternoon.

On Saturday I got a call from Angie.

"Is everything alright? I got your note." It was so kind of her to ring, but I just wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Can we talk when I get back?"

"Sure. I hope everything's all right. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks." I said putting the phone down tears falling again as I cried myself to sleep.

Two days of mind numbing pain and the phone rings again, it's Angie, this time it's a relief to hear her voice.

"Hey, my mum just told me what happened. Are you alright?!" Asked Angie kindly.

"Not really." I sighed. I wasn't going to lie.

"I am so sorry, Percy. Do you need me to come down?" I really did, but I couldn't ask her of that, she'd done so much already.

"It's alright, I'm coming back after the funeral. Thanks though."

"Alright. When is the funeral? I'll at least come down for that." Angie asked.

"Wednesday at 3. St. David's Church." I replied, my voice dull, I'd said it so many times in the last two days.

"Alright, I'll probably come down tomorrow to help Mum and Dad. I'll tell John, too."

"Okay. Mycroft knows, but he can't come. I can't get hold of Jim, he's not replying to anything."

"If John goes, I probably won't be able to convince Sherlock to go. Besides, you've got enough stress right now; you don't need those two dealing with that problem."

"It's okay, I'll see Sherlock when I get back." I said quietly, I really wanted my brothers round me at the moment. I'd love for them to have met Sherlock. He and Mum would've got on in an odd way. Silent tears began to fall, I wiped them away with my sleeves.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Will do. I'll be at the church all morning."

"Okay." Before she could go, I blurted out my other fear.

"Ang, why do think Jim is ignoring me?"

"I don't know. I hope this isn't bad timing, but do you have any idea who did it? Because if it's Moran, and Jim's pals with him again, maybe he doesn't want to face you."

"No idea, the coroner's report hasn't come back yet. How do you know they're friends again?! Jim wouldn't do that?!" I said shocked, Seb was back?! It all clicked into place at her words, the bullets, the assassination style killing, that stupid bloody rose.

"When I stayed at your house the other night, when I woke up in the morning, you had left already, I overheard them talking. And it wasn't like they had only agreed to work together, it would have been more awkward, but they were actually getting along."

"Oh...right." I said quietly, I felt betrayed and broken.

"John and I will be there as soon as we can." Consoled Angie.

"Thank you." I said automatically.

"No problem."

The phone clicked off and I just sat there, again shocked into motionless anguish.