Chapter 24 – Broken

The arrangements had all been made and I posted on Facebook the time and venue of the memorial service. I had spent the morning at the church arranging the flowers and orders of service. Sorting the music had been excruciatingly painful. I decided I would play the piano, but not sing; I just didn't have the strength, as my parent's coffins were leaving the church. Both my parents loved Beethoven; I chose to play his Moonlight Sonata.

None of it felt real, it felt like I was living someone else's life. I refused to go into the village, I couldn't stand all the pitying stares and whispers. I had never fitted into this small rural town, I preferred London and my life with Jim, but at the moment I had neither and was lost and alone in rural Wales.

Over the last week I had spent every day trying to contact Jim, but I never got an answer. Every time my attempt failed I worried he'd been injured again or he had decided he'd had enough of me. This must have been my hundredth attempt at calling my husband. I heard the door open, just as Jim finally answered. I called him on Skype I missed seeing him. Also Angie's news that he and Moran were friends again scared me.

"Were you ever going to tell me that you and Moran had become friends again?" No hello, I just blurted out the most pressing thought on my mind.

"What are you talking about?" Asked Jim, he looked grumpy.

"You and dear old Seb being all friendly just like old times. Ring any bells?!" I asked sarcastically.

"Alright, we started working together, and we may have sorted a few things out. He is really, really sorry about everything he's done to you, and he's not faking, I can tell when he's sincere. I hadn't told you yet because I knew you were still mad at him." Said Jim, rolling his eyes at my annoyance. Sadly this only made my anger step up a notch.

"Jim, you haven't spoken to me in weeks. Seb is sorry?! Oh, well, that makes everything all right, then doesn't it? He left me for dead and killed our baby, how can you even look at him?" I shouted. I was really upset. I wiped an angry tear away.

"Whether I like to admit it or not, I need him. He's the only decent gunman I can tolerate. I know how horrible he's been to you, he just has a…bad temper, and he's been stressed out. I'm not condoning what he did to you, he will never live that down, but he is my best friend, and if it wasn't for him, you and I would have never met." It was such a pathetic excuse, even if it had some basis in truth; he used it every time argued about Sebastian.

"You give him too much credit. Jim, he killed my parents. He's destroying my life and taking you with him, he's always been jealous of us. Why can't you see it?" I said angrily, I saw the hurt and shock on Jim's face and added quietly:

"I'm stuck here on my own."

"What do you mean your parents? Why do you say that?" He asked, concern now washing over his emotions.

"Wow, you are so clueless. I'm burying my parents on Wednesday. They were shot in the head." I was fighting hard to not cry. Whenever I thought of my parents, I could see their bodies, lifeless and pale. I just wanted it all to stop.

"I'm so sorry about your parents, but just because they were shot doesn't mean Seb killed them." His voice was so soothing. I was craving his arms wrapped round me holding me close. His last comment took any sentiment away and just reignited my irritation.

"I know the gun he fires, I know what bullets he uses. He even left that stupid signature of his, the rose. It was him, why would anyone copy him? You're sorry about my parents, why aren't you making the effort to come home, I need you so much right now, I can't have my brothers round me because you 'killed' one of them and the other is dealing with the mess you left in Russia." As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I'd gone too far. A dark expression appeared on Jim's face, he was angry.

"You knew what you were getting into when you married me. You knew what my work would be like. If you're having a problem with it now, that's your problem. I would be there for you if I could, but I can't." He spat, his voice cold.

"Why are you being so cold, since we got married, I've seen you for the grand total of two weeks, we've been married two months. You've changed, you're so distant and dark." I hurled back.

"Maybe you're just now starting to see me for who I really am." He ground out.

"Eight years, Jim we've been together for eight years. Did it all mean nothing to you?" I said indignantly, hurt acing my voice.

"Of course it did. Listen if you still don't feel comfortable around Seb, I'll keep him away from you. Alright?" He asked, his tone more gentle now. I nodded.

"Thank you. Please just be careful around him, I don't trust him. I can't lose you." I said voicing my ultimate fear.

"You won't. I promise." Replied Jim with a small smile.

"I'm sorry, I shouted at you. I'm just so lonely without you and I can't get the image of my parents' bodies out of my head." I looked at him, memorising his face. I felt so alone, even with all the people in my life I felt separate without Jim.

"I'm sorry, Percy, I'm so, so sorry. I'll do my best to stay home more."

"It's not your fault, I can't wait to see you. Maybe I should come with you more?" I replied it wasn't his fault.

"I would love that, but it's too dangerous. You might get hurt."

"You were shot two weeks ago. I've never been hurt when I'm with you, only when we're apart."

"Alright, I'll think about it. I hate being apart from you too." He admitted, he looked a little sheepish, but I smiled.

"When are you coming home?" I asked.

"I don't know. I'll try to get home soon, though. I miss you."

"I miss you too. Be careful. I love you."

"I will. Love you too." He smiled.

I sighed and closed my eyes as I closed the laptop. I took a deep breath and let my thoughts gather. I heard a knock on the wall and turned towards the sound, it was Angie.

"Hey, you doing alright?" Asked Angie. I gave her a small smile.

"A little. I finally got to speak to Jim, it helped." I frowned. "I'm really scared about tomorrow, the funeral. It will mean it's all real." Angie sat next to me and put her arm around me.

"I'm so sorry. I still can't believe it. It's just…" She trailed off and sighed. After a minute of sitting in silence, I glanced at her, nervous to bring it up.

"Listen, I know it's an open memorial, but you might want to warn them not to let Moran in." My head snapped up, I looked at Angie; I was scared and started panicking.

"What?! He's here? He's supposed to be with Jim!" I started crying and I shook my head. "I can't, I just can't handle this. Why won't it stop?!" Angie held me tighter.

"Calm down, Percy. I think he's just on another stalking spree with me. I already warned him to stay away from you. And John will be here, and if he sees Moran, he'll deal with him."

"P…p…please keep h…hi…him away from me. Please." I stuttered through the sobs.

"I will, Percy. I promise. I'll do everything I can to make sure he keeps away from you." I nodded and took a couple deep breaths.

"Thank you. Sorry, I'm not sleeping well; I'm getting a bit over emotional about everything. I cried when I accidentally put milk in my tea yesterday, I have never had milk in my tea, but I cried for an hour. I'm such a mess. I miss Jim, I actually miss both Mycroft and Sherlock and their bickering when in the same room. I just want to disappear." Angie rubbed soothing circles on my back. I felt looked after for the first time in weeks.

"Don't apologise. You have every right to be upset. I'll stay here tonight, alright? I don't want you to be alone." I gave her a small smile.

"Thanks. Bring John; too, there is lots of room. It'll be like when we were kids."

"Alright, I'll go get my things and get him. I'll be back as soon as I can." Smiled Angie, she stood and went home to retrieve her things and her brother.

"Okay." I nodded.

That night Angie and John did everything they could to cheer me up, they both sat through the Little Mermaid without complaint. We all made a fort of duvets and cushions to sleep in the living room, and john brought a midnight feast. I was truly blessed with amazing friends. The next morning, they both let me get on. They allowed me to get dressed and build up my walls. I suppose an advantage of living with Sherlock, they know how to handle a Holmes. Angie brought me some breakfast, but I just couldn't stomach food, I'd hardly eaten in days, I'd picked at little during our midnight feast, but food felt like lead in my stomach, it slowed me down made me feel sick. I came downstairs at 2:30pm and we walked to the church together, John never letting go of my hand.

So many people came to the funeral, old colleagues of Dad's, teachers and school children that Mum had worked with. Many people from town joined us. I really felt the absence of Mycroft and Sherlock. Most of all I wanted Jim with me; he'd keep me strong. We weren't a religious family, but Mum and Dad were quite traditional, this was also the church that had got married in.

I tried so hard not to cry, everything in me fought showing any signs of weakness, I had to be strong, show the world I could cope on my own when secretly I was dying inside. The Mayor gave a lovely eulogy. When I was asked to say a few words, I could feel my entire being shake.

Rowland and Deborah Richter were two of the kindest and most amazing people I have ever met. Not my parents by birth, but parents in all the ways that matter. They took me in and unconditionally loved me as their own. They taught, guided and encouraged me in everything. I owe so much to such amazing people. Dad served many long years in the forces and lived up to his nickname of the Colonel. He always spoke fondly of his years in Service. Mum, she was my best friend and teacher. Her passion for reading transferred to me at an early age and together we devoured whole libraries of books. She taught for so long at our local school parting with her vast knowledge of history, literature and politics. She was inspirational in shaping who I am today. Mum and Dad were married in this church and spent thirty happy years together. They will forever be remembered with fondness and love.

I sat back down, the shakes not subsiding, if possible having grown worse. I sat between John and Angie.

After I'd spoken the rest of the service was a blur until I was asked to play. I nodded to the vicar and slowly made way over to the piano. I sat, took a deep breath and began to play. I poured all my pain and anguish into the piece, feeling the music swirl around me, reflecting everything it felt to lose a loved one. I could hear people crying. As the piece came to an end, John was ready to again take my hand and walk with me to the shared plot Mum and Dad had bought

Thus far I'd controlled the tears, but seeing the dirt and white roses thrown onto the coffins broke the barriers. I no longer could control the emotions. I cried into John's shoulder and he held me tight. I don't know what I would've done without John and Angie.

Angie's mum, Anne, had generously offered to hold the wake at their house. It was stifling; it was all so reserved and polite. The wake was lovely, and I was so grateful to Anne, she'd been a second Mum to me when we were growing up, but I just couldn't take another second of it.

Before I left I made sure to thank Angie's parents. They'd been so kind and were close to Mum and Dad. "Thank you, Anne and Danny. It really means a lot."

"Of course, dear! And let us know if you need anything else." Anne hugged me and smiled. I nodded in return giving her a watery smile.

"I think I need to go. I need some time to myself." Anne understood.

"Of course, dear." Danny hugged me goodbye and said:

"We'll be here if you need us. And you've got John and Angie in London, too."

"I know." I smiled.

John gave me a hug, and then it was Angie's turn.

"John and I will probably head back today. Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Okay. I'll see you soon." Said Angie.

The worst part of the day was all the town voyeurs and vultures circling for gossip and trying to catch a glimpse of me breaking down. After and hour, I excused myself and headed out the back door down through Angie's garden, over the wall and into the woods. I needed the space to think, I just needed to escape. I kept walking and walking, I came to a clearing and stopped, I just let myself stop and be for a minute. The piece was blissful, a sense of serenity and calm washed over me. The spell was quickly shattered.

"Hello, Princess. How are you doing?" Said a deep eerily familiar voice. Sebastian Moran came up close behind me, his lips close to my ear. I felt his arms wrap round my waist. I flinched and pulled away from him

"Stay away from me...please."

"We have something to settle, Princess." His words scared me; his tone of voice terrified me.

"What do you mean? Haven't you taken enough?" I asked hesitantly.

"Oh, Princess, I'm just getting started." He evaded my question with a dark smile.

"St-st-starting what? Why are you doing this? Do what you want to me, but please leave Jim out of this." I stuttered. Icy fear creeping down my spine.

"But I'm doing this to get to Jim." He whispered, his words breaking my heart.

"Why? What has he done to make you hate him? Please leave him alone, do anything to me, but, please, please leave him. I'm begging you Seb."

"My, my, Princess. Angie didn't even beg me this much." He sneered, obviously pleased with my fear.

"I'm not Angie. Please, I'll do anything; just leave Jim alone." I begged.

"Anything? Well, now, that's quite an offer. Let me think." His goading was so hard to hear. I felt myself willing to give into anything he said, as long as Jim was safe, I didn't care.

"Please Seb, please." I said falling to me knees, I looked up at him, tears silently falling. I wouldn't allow anything to happen to Jim. I would happily die for him.

"This is quite an accomplishment. Persephone Moriarty, begging on her knees." Smirked Moran.

"I'd do anything for the man I love." I paused. "Just, please, Seb after all we've been through, don't hurt him."

"I'm not making any promises, Princess. I won't do anything to him now. Besides, I've got my attentions focused on Angie right now." My heart sunk again, he was pursuing Angie again, worse than ever. I didn't know how to respond, but if he hurt her I'd never forgive myself.

"Be good to Angie." I said quietly, still on the ground, I couldn't move.

"Of course." He replied seriously.

"Jim doesn't know you're here, I won't tell him. Just tell me one thing, why did you kill my parents?" I asked, I had to know why they were killed. Moran just grinned at me evilly.

"Now, Princess, that would spoil everything." He said as he knelt down in front of me, he grabbed my chin and made me make eye contact with him.

"I know it was you, I'm not going to tell anyone, Jim doesn't believe that you would do that." I tried to be defiant, but my fear outweighed everything I felt.

"Now, Princess, that would spoil everything."

"It's all part of the plan." He lent closer and kissed me. He stood up and turned to leave.

"I'm sorry for whatever it is we've, I've done, I'm sorry, but please stop this. I'm begging you." I said to his retreating form, tears flowing faster. Moran turned and looked at me.

"You haven't done anything, Princess. It's all part of my master plan. Now I'd best be off back to London. Don't want Angie to think I've given up on her." He backed away watching me cry and after five paces turned on his heel and got into his car.

I sat on the ground and gave into my fear, I couldn't stop crying, the sobs wracked my body and I crumpled. I couldn't let anything happen to Jim, nothing would harm him, not whilst I was still breathing. I had to protect him. Minutes or hours could've passed. Slowly, I unfolded my body and started to run, I ran home, packed my bags as quickly as possible and headed back to London, I had to be ready for when Jim came home, I had to implement the plans I had put into place all those years ago. I was nervously tapping my fingers, my mind racing at a hundred miles a second. Somehow, Anthea was ready with the car to take me back to London, as we drove it started to rain.