Sunday evening Louisa was watching some dreadful show on the telly; at least, Martin thought it dreadful… some sort of romantic rubbish. But he was trying to change, be more considerate of her needs, so he settled next to her on the sofa with is BMJ, content to read while she watched. Soon she was leaning against him, her head resting on his shoulder and he thought that perhaps this wasn't so bad after all. He felt her shift and heard a soft sigh from her and looked up from his article. Her eyes were glued to the set as some tall blonde fellow eased up behind the woman in the show. She was engaged in some concentrated effort over a work table and viewers were expected to believe she didn't hear him behind her.

Martin watched Louisa out of the corner of his eye, wondering if this was a murder mystery instead of something romantic. He caught her smiling as she watched the scene unfold. Perplexed, he looked back at the telly. The man was directly behind the woman now but instead of killing her, he had wrapped his arms around her waist and was nuzzling into her neck, kissing her. She turned and the scene ended with them in a full embrace, kissing. Apparently it was left to the viewer as to what came next.

The scene was puzzling to Martin. Why would anyone welcome such a thing? He didn't think he would like it if someone came behind him unawares and attacked him like that. But Louisa clearly had found it enjoyable to watch. And apparently the actress had enjoyed the attention as well; but then, she was paid to do so. Very bewildering…

The show ended and Louisa turned off the set. She turned and smiled at him, making Martin wonder what she was thinking. If she was feeling romantic, it was still too soon, he thought. "Thank you," she said softly.

"What for?" Her gratitude surprised him.

"You didn't make a fuss when I said I wanted to watch this show. I've heard others talking about it and have wanted to know what is what with it. But I thought it might…"

"You thought it would upset me?" He asked with a dull ache in the pit of his stomach.

"Well…not upset exactly but…I thought you would disapprove."

"Louisa, I don't have much interest in television, except for an occasional documentary or perhaps some news. But if you find it entertaining..." He really was trying not to let his disdain show.

She smiled at him again. It must be working, he thought. "Well, I think I'll have some tea," she said as she stood.

"I can make it," he volunteered.

"No, no…that's alright. Finish your article. I need to get up and move a little anyway," she said as she walked to the kitchen. "Do you want some?"

"No, I'm fine." Martin watched her…or rather her bum as it swayed with her to the kitchen. A soft groan escaped him as he reacted to the sight. Far more entertaining than anything on the telly, he thought. He looked from her backside to the telly as a thought struck him.

She was busy pouring water into the kettle when he stepped up behind her. He supposed the running water disguised the sound he made as he approached. As she reached to turn off the tap, his arms made their way around her waist and she dropped the kettle. It clattered into the sink. "Martin?" she gasped. He nuzzled into her neck trailing little kisses to her ear and he felt her go limp in his grasp. When she turned, her eyes were wide but her entire face shone with the delight of him doing such a thing. Her right arm went up to his shoulder as he pulled her closer to him. "Oh Martin…" she breathed.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured just before he kissed her. "… so very beautiful," he whispered into her ear as he snuggled against her. "I love you so very much."

"Martin, upstairs…" she grabbed his hand and tugged.

"Louisa, it is still too soon," he insisted.

"No it is not!" And she tugged at him again.

Following her up the stairs, Martin wondered how he could resolve this. It was his fault he knew. If he hadn't …well, approached her that way, she wouldn't be insisting on…well, what she was insisting on. Safely behind the bedroom door where James wouldn't be awakened, he voiced his worry. "Louisa, it really is too soon. I just…I wanted to show you… I…" He was lost; how could he explain.

"Show me what Martin?" she asked softly, her face bright with happiness.

He swallowed. God, she was so beautiful standing there, her face alight with happiness, her eyes glowing in the soft lamp light. "I wanted to… well, I am trying to change. I thought…" Oh why had he done that ridiculous thing?

Her smile grew. "I see that," she replied. "That was very unexpected… at the sink."

"Yes, well…"

"Maybe you should remember that for when my doctor says I can properly respond."

Martin relaxed. "Yes, I think it has possibilities," he replied, pleased with himself. Maybe he could change after all. It was a small thing, surprising her like that. But the potential rewards… oh yes, definite possibilities.

He stood there, still flustered, staring at his wife and drinking in her exquisiteness. "Right," she said as she looked at him with unmasked desire. "Perhaps bed then? We could just…cuddle?"

"Yes, fine. That would be good," he agreed as he stepped forward to help her with her arm. He wanted to hold her; having her in his arms calmed him as nothing else ever had, except perhaps holding James.

He was nearly asleep when Louisa stirred. "Martin?"

"Hmmmm…"

I was thinking….Ruth was telling me earlier that I shouldn't expect too much from you…your therapy, I mean. She said you might change the way you respond to me but I shouldn't look for too much change."

"Erm…what?" He mumbled, confused.

"She said you'll always be Martin; that I shouldn't expect that to change. And I was thinking… should I try to change? I mean, is there anything about me that you would like to change?"

Martin stayed very still for a moment as he tried to process it all. Why the hell did Ruth meddle, he wondered. And what did she mean, he would always be Martin? Of course he would. "I er…I… did you believe I would become someone else? You are confusing me, Louisa."

"No, no I …I just think Ruth was warning me not to expect too much and she…" Louisa chewed her lip nervously. "She suggested that I might have married you thinking I would change you, save you or some nonsense as that."

Martin sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. He looked down at her, trying to ascertain how much of this was Ruth's speculation and how much of it was Louisa actually worrying. "I think I am making changes," he said softly. "I'm trying."

"You are, I know you are and I've seen the changes. You've been so much more talkative, more open with me. And I'm glad. But am I expecting too much? I don't want you to change, not fundamentally. I like this new side of you that I am seeing; I think it is more of the real you, the man underneath that gruff exterior. But I don't want to push you."

Martin reached to touch her cheek, a gesture that Louisa had come to recognize as an intimate one from him. "Louisa, I must change if we are to … to continue on together. It is difficult to talk to you about some things, yes; but I haven't regretted it. I was afraid to tell you some things, afraid of how you might respond but it has been alright."

"Alright?"

"Yes…good."

"And is there something I need to change?"

"No." Then he thought about it a moment. "Er…there is one thing perhaps."

She looked up at him inquisitively and he didn't sense any animosity so he voiced his wish. "Could you… not make fun of me please?"

"What?"

"Sometimes when you are upset with me, you do that; when I found you working at my desk, for instance… or on that awful night of our wedding when we were in the wood. You made fun of me trying to protect you from that creature, the horse. There have been a few other times."

"Oh Martin, I'm sorry. I do that, don't I? It isn't very nice of me, especially with your childhood, being teased and all."

"It … hurts, Louisa. I try not to let it and honestly I was teased so much, I don't listen… just ignore it usually. But coming from you… "

"You're right. And I'm glad you've told me. I won't do it again, Martin. But if I do, I want you to stop me, remind me that it's out of limits."

Martin swallowed. "Thank you."

"I love you, Martin. I don't want to hurt you."

"Me too. Um, I mean… I love you too."