First a disclaimer! (we haven't seen one of these in a while): This chapter has a verse from "Empty Chairs and Empty Tables" a song from Les Miserables, I did not come up with it but its poignant so don't go saying I wrote that verse m'kay?
Author's note: I told myself "self you will never use song lyrics in your stories, they are overused, over done….but oh this is a perfect spot for her to sing a verse!...won't do it! Won't do it!
Damn….screw it I'm doing it….hokey be damned, my story deal with it!
Thanks go out to my reviewers: DAK, Arrow, EWD and JB
Chapter 59
Return to the Ruins
The hunting jaunt gave me energy and I spend the rest of the day in the communication lab with Ziggy. We break apart the taped Peeta and Makenzie and I go over what we do know. We list what injuries we know of, in case we can save him the treatments should be ready to go.
Maverick goes to talk with a Dr. Aurelius, he's a specialist in neurology and psychology to watch the recording and explain the tremor and his lack of focus.
Poor Peeta! I mean he's innocent in this whole show of power he's being used and abused and-
What am I doing?!
"Why am I sitting like some tin soldier?" I mutter as we head for supper, I look at Maverick, "he's in trouble! I should be going to help him" I look concerned and in no mood to eat rabbit stew.
"Into the lion's den on your own?" Ziggy shakes her head, "don't worry he's bound to return then we get to meet this famous baker's son"
Maverick walks me to my apartment and Gale is waiting for me at the door. "try and sleep okay?" Maverick looks at Gale warily, "see you at breakfast" he kisses my cheek when I bend down then wheels off.
"How did it go?" he asks
"Bagged a deer" I tell him and shake my head
"Want some fresh air, as a special op and a commander we could just go outside the complex, just not outside the fence" he says and I nod
When we finally get out he sighs, "so didn't go well?"
"It went as well as I could hope, she isn't a bad kid" I pause, "she didn't know who I was until today" I explain
"How do you mean?" he looks at me
"I'm her two years later in a way" I say, "she's in the same position I was in when I was sixteen Gale, the only difference is her job is with a camera on her and mine is behind the camera"
"And she has someone as a guide" Gale says, "her and I aren't on speaking terms" he shuffles his feet, "everyone is covering up the interview, even Coin won't speak of it"
"Except my team and I" I say and he looks at me confused, "we recorded it, we've made a list of potential injuries and have a psych specialist to help with what we are certain is shell shock or bordering on it"
"You don't let anything slide by" he smirks, "always into the details"
"When it comes to people I care about Gale I make it my business to know what's going on" I reply, "how is the side that got peppered with metal?"
"Better" he says, "how's the head?"
"Still on my shoulders" I tease and he chuckles
We head in and he kisses me goodnight.
I get a message that we are filming again, I would give anything to skip this and play hooky in the woods, heck I would take a bout with Charring than listen to Fulvia Cardew or Plutarch.
But down I go to get a clean uniform and realize someone has changed my color from grey to a dusty blue. It has my name on the shoulder, it is mine. When Katniss comes out she smirks at my shocked expression.
"You said you liked blue" she says, "Plutarch said it will bring the grey in your eyes out and Fulvia said the colour would suit you better than the bland grey plus you're on my staff I want you to be comfortable."
"You're alright kid" I say and dawn my new uniform.
Then I get a disappointing jar.
We're going back to Twelve.
"No" I look at Plutarch, "no way, I'll wear grey I will do anything but go back there Plutarch no way!"
"But we have to show what the Capitol did" Fulvia says, "it will be fine!"
"It won't be fine!" I glare at her, I can feel myself get nauseous and get upset when Katniss comes on the aircraft. "did you know?" I look at her in disbelief when she looks guiltily at me.
I am about to run off but Gale catches me, "I talked to them, you won't be filmed" he says trying to reassure me.
"I can't Gale" I say and I feel my tears build and I want to collapse in his arms but Katniss is here and our relationship is all about her and I trusting each other, kissing Gale could disrupt that trust, even having him comfort me might cause problems.
"Why is she so upset?!" Fulvia huffs, "not like she was there"
"She was there" Plutarch says, "didn't you read the notes I sent you?"
"I was busy" she says bashfully
Plutarch comes over and Gale hands me over, as much as I hate Heavensbee I think back to when I started this wild journey and his face is exactly how I remember, solemn and accepting, "I know it's hard"
"You have no idea" I say to him, "please Plutarch as much as I am sure you want me to talk I can't okay? I just-"
"It's alright I know your duty is to Katniss. Maybe we can make it easier"
We land and we don't go anywhere near the market quarter this morning. They show Katniss at her old home which is only a roof that is balancing precariously on two of three walls. She doesn't say anything but we don't bother to get her to talk. Gale on the other hand gets an earful of questions.
He digs a poker out of the ashes, it been twisted by heat and force so now it looks like a really messed up corkscrew.
On the way we make a new story to tell that he had rescued the seam and how someone had evacuated the market as best they could, we follow him down the seam to the meadow and he describes the heat and chaos. The screaming of citizens who didn't know their own government would kill them as soon as look at them. We end up near the pond, he had taken some men and they had gotten some game. He can't continue because that's when he returned to his unconscious girlfriend hoping she would come round.
I sit by the lake with Plutarch.
"It would have been a better story if you were in it y'know" he says, but I roll me eyes, "what was it like?" I look around when he asks, "off record Ariana"
I sigh, "the power went off and I remember reading in a history book in the Capitol the order of things happening for Thirteen, power outage and then it being blown up. I went with Buck Mellark, that's the middle son of Peeta's family and we find the fence down. We race back since we were using my motorbike"
"A motorcycle that should be in a museum if we win" he smirks and nudges me, it was my tool, but I like my motorbike.
"We race back and Ryen, the Mellark's eldest heads for the mayoral office while Buck ran for the market, Gale and I raced to the seam just as the first bombs hit. It was chaos Pluatrch, people falling left and right dying from the smoke, or being shot" I say
"Shot?" he looks confused
"Peacekeepers shot Ryen and Buck" I say, "I held Ryen as he died" I throw a stone into the lake, "that's why I can't do it, its not just the games that plague my dreams now, I see their faces, Buck with a sniper shot in the back of his head. Ryen urging me to run with his last breath" I sigh, "I appreciate Katniss' gesture though, not being in grey makes me feel more like me"
"Blue suits you, Cressida says red would be better though" he teases me
We listen to a haunting song that Katniss is singing to some mokingjays, and then we finish lunch. They have Gale and her under a rock outcropping talking of hunting. Then we head into town, I lag behind as we round to the market and finally to the bakery, now just a pile of rubble and ash with a steal lump that was the oven. Nothing is left of the family I called my own. The fires have destroyed them and their home. Katniss says that plainly to Peeta thru the camera, the camera cuts and I go to the border of the foundation.
Gale stands outside at where the apple tree would have been.
"You remember what happened here, just you and I?" he asks me
How can I forget, I walk over to him avoiding the larger debris, "I had sprained my wrist by Buck and you ran me here and just took me and kissed me in plain sight of the window" I say, I look up at him and he looks down at me. Katniss has left, she had to do some stuff and the crew follows her not Gale and I. He bends down and kisses me, when we separate he holds me close.
"I know this is hard for you" he says, "I'm sorry we headed here, but I'm here okay? I'm here for you"
"You have to be there for her" I say to him, "only to me when no one is watching"
"And when this is done to you alone" he says gently as he steps away.
He heads off, I stay behind.
As he leaves I go into the bakery or what's left of it. I sing but only to myself and the ghosts of the fallen:
'oh my friends my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone
There's a grief that can't be spoken
There's a pain goes on and on
Phantom faces at the window
Phantom shadows on the floor
Empty chairs and empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more'
I find some stones and make a cross in the ashes. One day I will have a monument to those who died, I don't care if I have to erect it myself but I will.
We have to remember.
"I didn't know you could sing" Massala, Cressida's right hand man says, "you're no Everdeen but you are in key"
"I don't perform" I tell him and walk past him to the ship.
The ride back we are all stuck in our own worlds except of course those who didn't experience the bombing.
No they are all excited about the footage taken.