I am still in awe of the support this little group of Martin followers provides. All the comments and reviews are wonderful and I really, really appreciate them.

During his break for lunch on Tuesday, Martin stepped into the kitchen and found Louisa there, feeding James and singing. Martin cringed when he recognized the song; it was that awful tune from that horrid play time at the library Louisa had made him attend with James. "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I'm gonna eat worms," Louisa sang.

James seemed to be happy with it but Martin was not. "Don't," he said as he walked up behind Louisa. "Don't sing that to him."

Louisa looked up surprised and Martin could see the storm gathering on her face. "But why? He likes it," she explained.

"It's a horrible song," Martin insisted.

"It's just a little children's song, nonsensical really. And James likes it."

"James doesn't understand the words," Martin shot back. "It's a horrid thing for him to learn."

Louisa's expression changed to inquisitiveness. "Martin?"

"Have you listened to the words?" He demanded. "Think about it Louisa; what lesson are you teaching our child?"

"You don't think he would really eat worms because of the song, do you?" she fired back.

"No, of course not! James will be far too intelligent for that. But the rest of the words…"

He could see understanding dawn in her eyes. "You think… Martin, James won't take it seriously; it isn't meant to be taken seriously."

Martin drew up to his full height and glared at her. "It will put the idea in his head. Everyone says he looks like me…well, except for the ears perhaps. I was teased constantly in school and I don't want James start out believing that no one likes him. It'll only make the teasing harder to take. I don't want him to ever feel the way I felt…" All the old feelings of hurt and rejection seared through him.

"Teased for your appearance? Martin, children will find anything to tease the others with."

"Yes, I know that."

She looked at him critically, trying to comprehend what exactly was bothering him. "Martin, it's true you're not a pretty man, but you aren't ugly. And when you aren't scowling, when you allow your face to relax, you look quite nice; at least, I think so."

Blinking, he glanced away. After a deep sigh, he turned back to her. "Louisa, I know what I look like; I look funny, big head, big ears, big lips…" He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I was awkward as a child, all arms and legs and uncoordinated. Between that and my funny looks, well… I just don't want James to feel like I did."

"Oh Martin," she sighed sympathetically. "You really didn't have a happy childhood at all, did you?"

"It was… alright," he muttered unconvincingly.

"But like you said at the castle that day, James isn't you and you're not your father. He'll have you there to help him if he gets teased. You won't make him feel even worse like your father made you feel."

"No, I won't… if he gets teased. I hope he will grow to look more like you, more…normal."

Louisa stepped closer to him and took his hand in hers. "I wouldn't mind it at all if he turns out like you…well, mostly. You're a good man, Martin; a gentle one when you're not on the defensive. You're very protective of the people you care about; and so very intelligent. And no matter how confused things have been, I've known I could count on you to look after James and me. You are the only person I've ever had in my life that I could depend on, Martin. While your ears are a tad big, it's more that they stick out sort of. You do have wonderful eyes, and when you're not scowling and frowning, your lips beg to be kissed. As much as I'd like to see you wear something besides your suits all the time, you do look very nice in them. There are a lot of nice things about you, really. No, I don't think it would be a bad thing if James was like you, not at all. Remember Martin, I chose you to be the father of my baby…well, not that I intended to have one just then, but…"

"Louisa…" he whispered as he felt something crumbling inside of him.

"No Martin, let me explain." She took a deep breath and frowned. "When I realized I was pregnant, I did think about an abortion, briefly. But I realized it might be my only chance to be a mother and even though I didn't think you would…well, that you wanted children, I did. But I didn't want just anyone's babies, Martin. I had other opportunities, other men who wanted to marry me; not many but…some. But I never loved them, not the way I love you, so I didn't want to have their babies. I choose to keep the baby because it was your baby, Martin; yours and mine. Even if we never worked out, I wanted that part of us."

Martin stood frozen, tears gathering in his eyes. "You wanted my child?" he asked with incredulity.

"Yes Martin, I did. I do."

Standing mutely before her, Martin couldn't believe what she was telling him. Why would any woman want his child? He looked from her to James, to their sweet little boy, and felt a tear slide down his cheek. James was such a beautiful gift, he thought, the most precious gift anyone had ever given him. He turned his gaze back to Louisa. "Thank you…for not…getting rid of him, for saying what you just said." He reached for her, his hands trembling and shaking from too much contained emotion. Touching her cheek with his left hand, he marveled at how much he needed her.

Then he remembered the reason for the conversation. "But I still don't want him to learn that song," he said gruffly.

Louisa looked up into his eyes, her eyes dark with emotion. "Alright Martin, I won't sing it anymore."

He dipped his head as if it were a handshake, sealing their agreement. Then looking into her eyes, part of what she had said hit him. "Louisa," he said softly, "I didn't ever think about having children. I thought…well, there didn't seem much point to thinking about it. But when you showed up at my back door that evening, when I saw you…" He swallowed, the emotions of that encounter flooding through him.

"Yes Martin?"

"I was surprised. It took me a few moments to … to…take it in. And then you were leaving and I didn't have a chance…that is to say, everything got all muddled and I said all the wrong things. It frightened me, that I would be a father but…" He took a deep breath, his emotions running much faster than his mind.

"But?"

"I…you were having my child and it made me feel…" How did he feel? Everything had been so mixed up. He had been happy to see her again; it was like he could breathe again. But there was this baby thing, a huge thing if her belly was any indication. And she'd said it was his…but she didn't want to get married. Why else would she be there then, if not for him take responsibility and marry her? And before he could come to terms with all the emotions that were racing through him, she was walking away. "I wanted you to stay… to talk about it, us. Everything was so confusing but," his eyes dropped to her abdomen, "you were carrying my child and it felt…good." He looked back up to see her reaction, to see if what he said was making any sense to her.

Her eyes were glistening and she looked like she might be fighting back tears. He hadn't intended to make her cry. What had he said that made her cry? Then she all but fell into him hugging him, "Oh Martin…"

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "I was still so in love with you, Louisa; and then you said it wasn't my problem and you walked away. I can't tell you how much that hurt…for you to walk away like that. I deserved it, I knew; but it hurt anyway."

She straightened up and looked at him. "I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. I shouldn't have said what I did. It just upset me, seeing another woman here with you. I thought…I thought you had moved on and that hurt."

"I was helping Edith with a paper… an article. It was a mental exercise, a relief; something to concentrate on instead of thinking about you, how much I missed just seeing you. I thought about you all the time, you know, while you were away. Later, I realized there was more to Edith's agenda. She wanted to pick up from twenty years ago. But I didn't. How could I want her when all I could think about was you?"

She hugged him again. "That's one of the sweetest things you've said to me ever, Martin."

"Oh, I don't know…it's just…how I feel."

Louisa tilted her head and looked at him mischievously. "I don't suppose you could cancel your appointments for the afternoon, could you? We could go upstairs and I could make you feel some other things too."

She spoke in a serious tone but Martin realized she was teasing him because of her eyes. "Mrs. Ellingham, you are going to make trouble for your husband. He won't be able to concentrate on his patients this afternoon if you continue to talk like that."

"Oh really?" she asked playfully. "Oh dear, can't have that now, can we?" As she turned to pick up James, she reached behind him and pinched his bum, shocking him. "Louisa!"

"Oh, sorry; did I hurt you?"

Martin stared at her, trying to decide on a response. "Just wait, Mrs. Ellingham; your turn will come."

He heard her chuckle as she carried James through the sitting room to go upstairs. Then a thought came to him and he hurried after her catching up to her in the bedroom. She turned when she heard him and smiled. "Change your mind?"

"Er…um…no… But, I just wanted to say, about that song and James and how he will get along …He um…he'll have an advantage that I didn't. He has you as his mother." Before she could respond, he was out of the room and headed downstairs.