Chapter 29 – Fear and Loathing

Angie,

You will remember this day for sad reasons, but I wanted you to know why Sherlock was with me. By now you will know of my plans, but Sherlock's help made them a success, don't be angry with him, he was working under my instructions. I made him promise not to tell anyone.

Percy x

Chapter 28 - Fear and Loathing

Since my recent trip into hospital and through my rehabilitation and recovery, I had felt my mind drifting to my unfinished plans. I needed to tie up my lose ends. It may be paranoia and an after effect of the drugs, but I just had a bad feeling, it had been growing over the recent months. The only person I knew who could help me with my plans was Sherlock, he'd disappeared successfully, most of the world thinking him dead or they'd forgotten him. I needed the same anonymity. I sent a text to Sherlock.

Could you help me with something?! Percy.

I'll be right over. SH

His reply came before I could out my phone down. We has become quite close recently, he saved my life, he understood the pull of the drugs, he didn't chastise me, he just quietly understood. Minutes later I heard a curt knock on the door. I answered.

"Thank you for coming over, I didn't know who else to ask."

"Is there a problem?" Enquired Sherlock, looking around trying to spot trouble. I think he was looking for Jim. They had such an odd relationship.

"Not a problem, I need to sort out some plans," I paused, took a deep breath and asked the hardest question of him; "and I'd like you to look over my will."

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?" Asked Sherlock, looking me in the eye, searching for the answer. I turned back to the desk before answering.

"No, not wrong, it's just something that needs sorting. When Jim and I started dating I made a back up plan, I knew there was always a chance that I might need to disappear or that something got me killed. Recently, I've just had a feeling that maybe these plans need to be watertight. You've had to vanish, even if for a short time, I need your help to do the same."

"Of course. However, I hope it's not anything like my 'death'. That was tedious." Replied Sherlock, I gave him a wry smile.

"It might be, if needs must. I will do anything to protect Jim, I know you don't understand how I can love him but I do. Something huge is coming, I just want to be prepared."

"I suppose Angie knows about this?" He asked, a slightly bitter tone in his voice. Angie's name pulled at my heart, if she knew she'd try and stop me. My death might be the key to saving my loved ones.

"No, she can't know. I have done everything I can to keep it from her. If she knows it'll be too dangerous. Mycroft doesn't know either." Sherlock nodded in response.

"I understand."

"My will in particular, I want you to be the executer, I can trust you to do the right thing."

"I'm honoured. I'll see to it. Although hopefully it won't be for some time."

"Hopefully not, I'd like to see my first wedding anniversary at least. I need you to do something else, I have a house ready, I can't tell you where it is, but if you ever get a phone call from an Arnold Rogers, just say yes to anything he asks. He knows to contact you and only you."

"Understood." I gave Sherlock a small smile. In so many ways Sherlock was very difficult to deal with, but on an occasion such as this, he was perfect, he didn't ask too many questions and just accepted what needed to be done. He picked up the will and began reading.

After a short pause, I asked:

"Do you know of a trust worthy morgue?" Too many this would seem an odd question, but not to Sherlock. Also if one is to die, one needs a mortuary.

"Molly Hooper does excellent work, and can keep quiet." Said Sherlock.

"Brilliant thank you, I've been looking for a quiet mortician, they are surprisingly and to find. She has to be good if you regard her so."

"Yes, she helped me with my...plans." I nodded in understanding at Sherlock's words.

"It worked, almost too well. I hope I never have to go through with these plans, but such is the price of the life I chose."

"It is hard, but it's for everyone else's well being." Replied Sherlock, he gave me a small smile; he was showing me he understood.

"What is?" Said Angie, without either of us noticing her entering the room.

"Hi, Ang. When did you get here?" I asked smiling, hoping my surprise wasn't too obvious.

I decided not to let her know what I had heard. "Uh, just now. What are you two up to?"

"Just having a friendly chat." Sherlock just looked at Angie. His vague words were not his finest choice.

"Really, Sherlock?" Bristled Angie, as she gave him the Watson glare.

"You're the one who said I need to get to know my sister better." Smirked Sherlock. His sarcasm wasn't going to make matters any better. I gave him a look, which he returned.

"Sherlock was helping me with some stuff." I turned to face Angie. "Are you alright, Ang? You seem a bit put out."

"Uh, yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something. But, uh..." She glanced at Sherlock. "Before I forget, Sherlock, I think we're out of milk. Could you go by the store and pick some up?"

"Mrs. Hudson probably just got back from the shops." He rolled his eyes, obviously thinking it trivial. I will admit I was a bit confused by Angie's random request.

"I don't think she had milk on her list." Angie was trying to get rid of him, but he was either unaware or blatantly ignoring her, I couldn't tell which.

"I don't think it's the end of the world if it waits an hour. You're obviously worried about something. What's happened?" He asked, oh so he was aware of what Angie was trying to do, I realised. I looked at them both.

"What is it? Take some milk from the fridge. Jim bought way too much. I don't drink it."

"Uh, thanks. Sherlock, could you take it home now before we forget?" Angie sighed.

"I'll remember." Said Sherlock coldly.

"Angie, what is it? What's happened?" I asked confused. Angie paused before she spoke, obviously trying to work out how to explain but not give away the reason for her upset.

"It's, uh...about that problem after the funeral. The person who sent the roses." Angie looked at me, hoping I'd understand. I did, and the waterfall of fear that washed trough me nearly floored me.

"Oh...right. I...I...I need to c...c...call Jim, give me a minute."

"Sure." Nodded Angie. There was sympathy shining in her eyes. I left the room I was having trouble unlocking my phone. I called Jim, he would be home in minutes, I just had to control the fear, Jim would home soon, and he'd keep me safe. I re-entered the room, hoping my panic wasn't too obvious.

"Jim's on his way home. Can you stay for a bit until he gets home? Angie, tell Jim what's going on, please. He can help." I asked quietly, I couldn't raise the volume of my voice. Angie looked at me, shock on her features.

"Tell Jim? I suppose, yeah." She nodded.

"It might help. Anything to stop it." Sherlock looked at us both, confused.

"What could possibly be so bad that you need to talk to Moriarty?"

"Just the flowers, Sherlock." Replied Angie curtly. He looked at Angie unbelievingly.

"You said it was a girl thing, so what does that have to do with him?"

"Look, you're not gonna want to be here when he gets here, so just take the milk home." Sighed Angie. I looked at Sherlock and stepped towards him.

"Please, Sherlock, I need him here. After..." I paused, all the heartache and pain coming back, the anguish that drove me to relapsing. I shuddered. Angie stood up and brought me to sit next to her, she rubbed my arm comfortingly, trying to help me calm down. Sherlock frowned.

"Does this have to do with that Moran?" He asked. He'd clocked more than we'd given him credit for. I frowned hearing that bastard's name. Before I could let the panic rise, Jim came in.

"Percy, is everything okay?" Jim glanced Sherlock and Angie he looked concerned. "What's happened?"

"It's S...Seb." I stuttered. I started to shake. Jim pulled me close as the tears began to fall. I may have recovered physically, but mentally, I was still shaky. Feeling Jim's arm round holding me tight, made the real world melt away.

"It's okay, he's not here. Take a deep breath." He said soothingly. He looked at Angie. "Angie, what's happening?"

"He's back. He, um...it's not really clear, he keeps skirting around it, but he keeps hinting that he's going to do something to you, and that Percy might get caught in the cross fire. I don't know." Replied Angie, her voice quiet, but determined.

"Why would he tell you this?" Asked Sherlock indignantly.

"How many times has he done this? I told him to back off." Said Jim, anger tainting his voice. He rubbed my back, keeping me calm. "It's okay, Percy, you're safe."

"Uh...he's done it a few times since Percy's parents' funeral." Replied Angie. At the mention of the funeral, I found my voice.

"Please make him stop, I can't take it. He's upsetting Angie, and if he does anything to you..." My voice tailed, my mind not able to cope with the idea that Jim could die. Jim gently held my face in his hand, made eye contact with me. He kissed my fore head before saying:

"I'll deal with him."

"Just how many times have you spoken to this man?!" Asked Sherlock, anger no lacing his voice.

"Not now, Sherlock." Snapped Angie.

"Well, if not now, when?! You'll just keep avoiding the subject." Argued Sherlock.

"Sherlock, please don't be angry." I pleaded, hoping that he'd listen to me.

"Don't worry about me, Percy. He wouldn't dare hurt me." Said Angie as she came over and sat next to me.

"Why not?! Do you know him?! Stay out of this Percy." Snapped Sherlock, losing his temper.

"Watch your tone, Sherlock." Said Jim coldly, standing, and squaring up to Sherlock. I turned to Angie, and said worriedly:

"What if he does? I can't lose anyone else, he took my parents, he wants to take my husband, steal you...I don't want to be alone again."

"What are you talking about?" Asked Sherlock, his voice worried, he calmed as he met my scared gaze. Jim sat next to me, holding me close, letting me know I was protected.

"You won't lose anyone else. You've got a huge circle of people who adore you." Said Jim to me quietly. I gave him a small smile.

"Percy, I swear I will not let you lose anyone else." Reassured Angie. I couldn't help the tears that fell.

"He knows things, he knows how to take everything." I sniffed.

"Yeah, well I know enough about him, too. I promise, Percy, you'll be fine. I won't let him do anything." Said Angie defiantly.

"What are you talking about? How do you know him?" Asked Sherlock, still confused and worried. He told me in the hospital he hated seeing me cry.

"Not now, Sherlock!" Demanded Angie.

"Jim, make him stop, please." I begged my husband. The fear of losing anymore of my loved ones was just too much. I wiped my eyes and looked at Sherlock.

"Sherlock, be vigilant, you'll understand then."

"I will, I'll do everything I can to stop him. He's gone too far. We have to be strong, though, Love. He can't believe we're worried." Jim kept a tight embrace round my body, knowing he surrounded my senses oddly calmed me. He looked at Angie. "Angie, where have you seen him?"

"Um, a couple times in Brecon, he was outside my parents' house, and then outside Percy's rental, and then I just ran into him in Hyde Park. He's following me, so..." Said Angie, but Sherlock interrupted her.

"How long has he been following you?! Is this the man who's stalking you? You said he was an old boyfriend."

"Sherlock, I am dead serious, not now." Angie said darkly. She was not to be argued with. I glanced at Angie before saying:

"Angie, maybe you should just tell him. I think Moran is too big for any of us to handle alone."

"Yes, I think that's a good idea." Sherlock nodded in agreement, looking a little too pleased with himself.

"Fine. Yes, he's the one who's been stalking me. Yes, we were serious, but it was ten years ago." Said Angie resolutely.

"Be nice, Sherlock, this isn't easy. He's harder to get rid of than you'd think." Sherlock's expression irked me.

"Angie, why did you keep this from me? Are you hiding something?" Sherlock seemed hurt.

"No, I'm not hiding anything! You already don't like hearing about my old boyfriends. And for your information, I did try to tell you, actually, but you just walked out!" Replied Angie, not liking the accusatory tone of Sherlock's voice. "He's got a way of manipulating people to get what he wants." I shook my head. "I should never have done that stupid job for Mycroft." I said, feelings of regret flooding my system.

"It's not your fault, Percy." Soothed Angie. Then Jim asked the worst question possible.

"What job? When?"

"How do you think I met Seb? I was Mycroft's little spy. I had to get information out of him any way I could. It was just before I met you." I replied, my voice bitter.

"Any way you could, what does that mean?" Jim asked sounding wary. I really wasn't looking forward to explaining how Seb and I got to know each other.

"What do you think it means? Use your brain, Jim." I said sharply. The memories flooding back. I knew this would spark off Jim's jealous side. His anger flared, he stood up and started to pace. He seemed so much like Sherlock in that second.

"Seriously, with him?! How could you? What, is he your backup for when things get tough?" His angry words stung.

"No, he isn't some backup. I did what I had to do, I broke it off once I had what I wanted, but we sort of stayed friends. I met you not long after." I said, my anger now flaring. I turned to Sherlock, who was just staring at Angie. "Sherlock, come on, be a little forgiving. It's not Angie's fault she's being stalked." Sherlock just ignored me and walked over to Angie.

"And how exactly did you come to fall in love with a killer, Angie?"

"I didn't know he was a murderer when we started dating. I just happened to meet him at Cambridge. He seemed perfectly normal." Frowned Angie.

"When you started dating? So you found out later? Is that when you broke up with him?" Probed Sherlock keeping his hawk like gaze upon her.

"Uh...well...not exactly." Replied Angie, looking a little guilty.

"Sherlock, people can't help who they fall in love with. Let's not have this argument again." I countered, knowing Sherlock would bring up the good verses evil argument again. He kept ignoring me.

"You kept dating him after you found out he was a criminal? Well, this is interesting. Do all young women from Brecon fall in love with criminals?"

"Sherlock, please, don't." I begged. Starting this argument with Jim in the room was really not a good idea.

"Maybe if you actually had a heart, you'd understand better. And you're one to talk. Irene Adler doesn't exactly have the cleanest record." Retorted Angie, finally losing her temper. He glared at Angie and turned to me with a dark sneer.

"What, is it some sort of love triangle between the three of you?"

"How could you say something like that?! We're trying to get away from him!" Yelled back Angie.

"No. I hate him. For god's sake, Sherlock, he wants to harm my husband, break you, steal Angie, and torment me. What is there to like about him?! He killed my parents." He just gave me a look of disdain and turned back to Angie

"And what about you, Angie? Just how serious did this get after you found out that he's a murderer?"

"I don't have to tell you anything about my past. You don't tell me anything about your past, why should I tell you anything about mine?" She frowned. Angie's body language turned defensive.

"You do realise that by not answering, you're providing an answer." Sniped Sherlock. Both Angie and I glared at Sherlock.

"What about before we got married? What was that, reliving an old flame? What is this control he has over you?" Jim had been quiet; this question shattered any calm that I'd regained. I stared at him for second, shocked.

"I was drunk and angry, it was a mistake. Like you haven't done stupid things when we argue? Control over me? What about you, Mr. Seb Can Do No Wrong. You keep him round, not me, I asked you to get rid of him years ago."

"I have my reasons, you know this." He countered darkly.

"I'm starting to think he has the same hold over Angie." Agreed Sherlock.

"Sherlock just shut up! You have no idea what you are talking about." I shouted.

"Well, Angie?" He asked, ignoring me and focusing on Angie.

"It was a long time ago." Angie stared back, but kept her voice quiet. He stepped closer to Angie.

"You know I can see every emotion in your eyes. You still have strong feelings for this man." His eyes showed the depth of his hurt. He really did care about Angie. I couldn't stand the tension anymore. I grabbed Angie's hand.

"Come on, Angie, we're going out. Boys, do what you want. I've had enough."

Angie just stared at Sherlock as I led her towards the door.

"Fine, leave, take the easy option like you always do." Sniped Jim. His voice cold. I stopped, and turned to face him.

"Easy option? Wow, Jim, you weren't the easy option. Oh, I get it; you're saying because I relapsed, I want the easy option to be out of my skull all the time, not deal with my life? Thank you so much for your faith in me, I'm glad it all means so much to you."

"When it gets too much, you go AWOL or get off your face. You react like a spoilt child. It's ridiculous. I try and help, but it's always my fault."

"Oh, for pity's sake, Jim, shut up." I yelled back. He just looked at me and stormed out, slamming ht door. I winced. Neither Angie nor Sherlock seemed to have noticed our loud altercation.

"You know, Angie, I may not know a lot about relationships, but I do know that you need to trust each other and tell each other things like this. You can't keep hiding secrets from me like this." I rolled my eyes at Sherlock's words.

"Sherlock, you wouldn't know a relationship if it slapped you in the face. You have enough secrets to fill a book." I said. Sherlock glance at me, his gaze maxed with hurt and anger. I hoped that Sherlock wasn't about to do what I thought he was. Angie frowned; she seemed to have understood too.

"What are you saying, Sherlock?" His demeanour changed, he looked dark and aloof. The air of emotionless statue radiated off him.

"I believe the term is 'break up'." Angie started at him. I did too. "What? Sh...Sherlock..." The front door slammed. Angie looked at me. "Did he really just do that?"

I frowned at the doorway; I couldn't believe he did that.

Angie leaned against a sofa, feeling my strength disappear.

"I can't believe he just did that. Please tell me I'm the only one who heard that." She asked, her eyes welling with tears.

"Angie, are you alright?" I asked sympathetically.

"He couldn't have really just done that. Percy, please tell me he didn't mean it." She sounded desperate. I felt so sorry for her, I shook my head.

"I don't know, sweetie. Do you want me to go after him?" I asked. Angie shook her head, to say no.

"No, I don't want to be left alone right now. God, I hate Moran! He just has to ruin everything, doesn't he?!" She put a hand over her mouth, trying desperately not to start crying. I could see the desperation in her. I was going to punch Sherlock the next time I saw him.

"Yes, he does. Why don't you stay here for a bit, you have your own space. Let Sherlock sulk for a couple days and then see how everything is."

"Thank you. I really, really hope he's just being overdramatic." She nodded, she then frowned. "I don't think I could stand to lose him, not again."

"You haven't lost him, his pride is hurt. It might take a while, but it will all work out."

"I hope so." I rubbed Angie's arm comfortingly.

"Go and relax. I need to sort out stuff down here. If you want fresh clothes, raid my wardrobe. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

"Thank you so much, for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you." Angie gave me a small smile.

"It's nothing. You've done so much for me recently. Go relax, I need to fix my marriage." I smiled back.

"Good luck." She nodded.

"Thanks. I think I need it."

I showed Angie to her room and left her in piece. I took a deep breath leaning against the wall before I headed to Jim's study, he could always be found there when he was annoyed. I knocked on the door as I opened it.

"Jim, can I come in?"

"I guess." Replied Jim quietly. I was a little nervous, his quiet anger was far worse than shouting. He was sat in his desk chair. I knelt in front of him I took one of his hands in mine.

"I'm sorry. I know I've not been the easiest person to deal with lately. I over-reacted. I'm scared; it's making me a little irrational. Also, Sherlock and I don't get on around other people." I said, keeping my voice apologetic and calm.

"I know you're scared. But I promise, Seb won't do anything to you. He's just...a bit lovesick. And as for Sherlock...well, you know my feelings about him." Said Jim, he wouldn't look me in the eye, but I knew he was willing to talk, that was something.

"Love sick is one way to put it." I stopped myself saying anything more about Moran. "I'm scared because he threatened you, I can't let that happen, you're too important. Angie is so confused and hurt by it all, I don't want anything to happen to her. Sherlock annoys everyone, it's in his nature, but yes I know." I looked up at Jim, with a small smile.

"He's been acting perfectly normal around me. Maybe this is just a tactic to get her back? Make her think you're in danger, or someone you care about is in danger, get her desperate enough that she'd be willing to do anything, tear her away from Sherlock, and then he's got her back? But I am positive that we're in no real danger." There was a tone of finality and defiance in his voice. I wasn't going to convince him or win this argument.

"I really hope your right. Please keep him away from me though, where possible, I can't forgive him. I don't think Angie will go back to him, she's really confused and if Sherlock's left her, well she'll be heart broken."

'Well, I'll just let you take care of that. It's not any of my concern, and I'm sure Angie wouldn't want my help.'

'I'll look after her, I wish you both got on, but understand why you don't. Do you remember when life got this complicated? I swear it used to be much simpler. I really am sorry; can you forgive me?"

"Of course I can."

"I really scared you when I overdosed didn't I?" We hadn't really talked about my overdose; we'd gone through rehab and avoided a lot of the issues around it. The cracks were beginning to appear; I wasn't sleeping and kept having nightmares. The whole issue of Moran was really freaking me out, but Jim just didn't see it. There had been this odd period of calm, but I think the storm was brewing. I wanted to keep things from Jim, hide away and compartmentalise my life.

"Yes. But it's over now, and it's not going to happen again. I promise I won't leave you for so long like that again.

"I love you James Moriarty, never forget that." I really did love him, but I had to hear it to believe it was real.

"I won't. I love you, too, Persephone Moriarty." He replied. Jim pulled me into his lap and kissed me. His touch made me forget every fear and worry that had been floating through my mind in seconds, but for that night I let myself revel in the love and touch of my husband.

In the immediate aftermath of Sherlock leaving, Angie stayed with Jim and I for a couple more days. She mostly kept to her room I didn't blame her.

"Does Seb have a spare key?" Asked Angie.

"No, why?" I asked back, very confused.

"He got into my room. He left a note and another damn rose." I felt my fists clench in anger at that foul man.

"What did the note say?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.

"'I'm here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on.' He knows. Oh god, he had to have had something to do with Sherlock doing that. What if he's done something to Sherlock?! Sherlock's not answering any of my texts or anything..." Angie's words tripped over themselves as her panic rose. I couldn't stop the shudder creeping down my own spine.

"He is so creepy, this is ridiculous. I'm sure Sherlock's fine, I'll try and get hold of him. The real question is how did he get into our room? We were out all day."

"Was Jim home? I mean, they're still friends, aren't they?" Asked Angie.

"Yeah he was. I can't stop him letting Seb in the house." I replied, Angie nodded.

"Oh, god, I don't know how much longer I can put up with this." She exclaimed.

"I'll talk to Jim, it might get tense, Seb is causing some dissonance. You're doing amazingly well living with Jim." I said with a smile.

"I've actually got worse problems to deal with now." Admitted Angie. IT was s sobering comment.

"That's a scary thought." I agreed.

"Yeah." Nodded Angie. We feel into a tense silence. I was worried about Angie she was filled with anxiety and stress.

"Are you alright sweetie?" I asked.

"Honestly, no. I'm just sick of all of this."

"We'll sort it. I promise."

"I hope so." She pleaded quietly. Her quiet voice fortified my resolve, I was going to sort this out.

"I know so. I'm sorry that Moran's tormenting you. I'm going to talk to Jim, I need to sort this. There are other guest rooms, choose a different one if you need to."

"Okay, thanks." Said Angie, still quiet. I closed the door behind me and went in search of Jim. I found him in his office.

"Jim, did Seb come over today?" I asked. I wasn't going to beat around the bush.

"Uh, yeah. You were out. Oh, and by the way, I spoke to him about this recent problem, and he's not going to do anything else. And before you say anything, he wasn't lying, either. He's a good liar, but not so good that he can keep it from me. Angie's just overreacting a bit." His words were the spark that started the wildfire. I had had enough of Seb's stalking and odd ability to get away with every nasty thing he did.

"She's just overreacting?! He got into her room and left her some creepy love note and one of his stupid roses. It's gone too far. Why do you believe him over me?" I asked.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Percy, but women tend to be emotional and irrational. Angie is especially emotional. Of course, I suppose being married to a spy, and then living with Sherlock, she's grown accustomed to the overdramatic." Replied Jim, an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"What?! Are you actually insane? You over react about the most ridiculous things and then kill someone or blow up a building. You are the king of the over dramatic. What is wrong with you at the moment?" I asked. Truly bemused at his disbelief that Seb could do anything wrong. We had had a wonderful time over Christmas, but something had flipped recently, our marriage was coming apart at the seams. Every argument was about Seb.

"Come on, Percy, you know that's all just part of the game. It's people like Sherlock who make it seem overdramatic they overreact. I just don't like the fact that you're accusing my best friend of wanting to kill me or hurt my wife. I know you and Angie both have an...emotional past with him. And you've always overreacted to things." He said.

"You are unbelievable. So it my brother's fault you like to be the centre of attention, and Angie and I are delusional because we want to protect our loved ones and not be stalked."

"I didn't say you were delusional. I told you, Moran's not really planning any of that stuff. Why don't you just let him and Angie solve their own problems themselves? Stop trying to take care of everything." Both of us were now angry, our voices rising with every word.

"Angie asked me for help. I care about her; she's been my best friend since I was five."

"She's a big girl, she can handle this on her own. Getting you involved, you both start overreacting, and then you get stressed out, and then look what happened a couple weeks ago with the relapse!" Shouted Jim. Oh that was a slow blow, he was bring up my relapse every chance he got recently.

"That was a culmination of many things, Moran was the cherry on top to make it all worth it." I replied darkly.

"Stop blaming Seb. I've noticed you use him as an excuse a lot." He sniped.

"At least when I'm high I don't care." I spat back I was hurt.

"I don't like what I'm hearing, Percy. Don't even think about going back to those damn drugs." Yelled Jim.

"Like you care or listen to anything I say." I shouted back.

"At least I put some effort into this relationship instead of just running away or getting high to deal with problems." His words were cold they stabbed my heart.

"What you mean like leaving for months on end and letting me deal with stalkers, my parents being murdered, and various other crap?!" I screamed at him.

"I've already told you, that's my job. That's my career. That's how we can afford all of this junk that I let you spoil yourself with. And I told you; you already knew what my work was like before we got married. It's not my fault if you're having a problem with it now." He didn't shout these words, his voice was low and quiet, I should've stopped then, but I was so angry.

"Before you never left me for months, maybe a couple of weeks, but we made a point of being together as much as possible. I know what your job entails, you think I only value money, I do work as well, I do have my own money, but we've always shared everything. Oh wait you threw a tantrum and blew up our last home. I lost a child trying to protect you." My rage turned to angry tears.

"Don't blame me for that. I didn't even know because you didn't tell me! It was your own stupid fault! Stop blaming everyone else! How about you grow up and actually take some responsibility for your actions?!" I felt like Jim had punched me; his words were so spiteful.

"I didn't tell you because you didn't want children. I was too scared to tell you. I feel guilty every day." I admitted as tears continued to fall.

"You should. I just can't believe how immature you've been a acting lately, between that and the relapse, it's like you've reverted back to a stupid teenager!" Jim looked at me with disgust. He turned towards the door to leave.

"A stupid teenager, who you dated for eight years, fell in love with and married. You knew I had a drug problem. It's part of who I am. I have apologised, I have done and am doing everything I can to stay clean again. Or now you have what you want, it's not fun anymore?" I confessed. I was trying so hard. Jim turned back to me; he squared his shoulders and said:

"No, I'm just questioning the point in staying married to you because this is not what I expected. I expected you to actually grow up. I didn't think I'd become a baby-sitter." He left, slamming the front door. I wasn't aware of falling to floor crying, till I felt my knees hit the wood. I sobbed. I was hurt and angry.

I don't know how long I sat there, I couldn't hear the world around me, I just let time pass. Slowly everything came back into focus, I tore out of the house, and started searching for Jim, I had to get him back and fix everything. I would become anything; do whatever I was asked as long as I didn't lose him.

Later that night, Angie came downstairs, she looked how I felt, deflated, tired, heart broken. I had made us some dinner, cooking took my mind off everything, but it all felt futile.

"Are you hungry Angie, I've made some dinner." I asked.

"No, not really. Sorry."

"Its fine, I'm not hungry either. I'll put it in the fridge. Are you all right, you're a bit pale?"

"Am I? Uh, yeah. Not really. Um...it's just...it's Moran again." Said Angie dejectedly.

"What's he done now?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to her the answer.

"He, um...I don't know. He...he still wants to get back together, and...just with all this stuff...I mean, I know I can't believe him, but...I don't know, I just...I don't know." Admitted Angie, sounding distant.

"You've had an emotional day, take some time and think about it. Maybe we've been imagining it all; maybe he's not as bad as we think. He probably does still love you." I had to believe Jim; we could've made this all up in our heads?

"No, I've got to stop this. I can't let these feelings come back up. I mean, what about Sherlock?" Said Angie nervously.

"Is it so wrong to love him? Do what your heart tells you. Sherlock can survive on his own, he's a grown man." I said passively.

"I thought you hated Seb, after everything he's done?" Asked Angie, confused by my change in attitude.

"Well sometimes I make mistakes. It was my own fault for being so reckless. Maybe I got what I deserved." I said bitterly.

"Don't say that. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault." Defend Angie.

"It doesn't matter. As long as you're okay?" I shook her words off.

"Okay, so what if I said that I am going to get back together with Seb and that we were going to get married, and who cares about Sherlock?" She asked, hoping I'd rise to the occasion. I just shrugged at her words.

"If you wanted to Marry Seb, then I'd be happy for you." I would, I couldn't judge, I'd married the king of criminals.

Percy, that girl you told me about that dated Seb, Sally, did the man she married have anything to do with Jim?"

"I don't know, probably. I'd keep out of Jim's way if he comes home, he won't be in the best of moods. Sorry."

"Percy, what's happened, what's wrong? You're not acting like yourself, this isn't you." Accused Angie. I just looked at her.

"I just realised a few things, that's all. I'm fine." I said quitly.

"Percy, please don't lie to me. I've got enough people lying to me. What happened?" Pushed Angie.

"I was told a few home truths, and they were right. I need to grow up and stop acting like a spoilt teenager." I spat back, my tone more aggressive than I had anticipated.

"That doesn't mean you have to go into complete submission, going along with everything." Countered Angie.

"I have to save my marriage, sometimes that means making sacrifices." I replied.

"Alright, if that's what you feel like you have to do. But please act normal around me? I've probably already lost my boyfriend, I don't need to lose my best friend, too." Her words pulled at something inside me, but I couldn't break the decision I had made.

"You'll never lose me Ang, I just need some time to revaluate my life." I said with slightly more energy.

"Okay. But please don't act like this around me. I love your normal rebellious self. And if anyone else has a problem with the real you, that's their problem, not yours." I gave her a half smile.

"Thanks sweetie, but maybe its time I grew up a bit. I'm nearly 26, I'm not a child anymore."

"I know that. But it's just part of your personality, and that's not going to change no matter how much you mature. But you can't change who you are just because Jim might have a problem with it." I nodded at her words.

"I can't lose Jim, I will do anything to stay with him and if that means being more mature and less childish then it's a small change to make." I said glumly.

"I understand. But this isn't the real you, and if he really does love you, then he knows that and he'll accept you for who you really are, strong-minded and all, and if he isn't willing to do that, then he doesn't deserve you, and you don't need him. I know how much you love him, but you shouldn't have to change yourself like this, even for him." I gave Angie a half hearted smile.

"I don't know, he's done so much for me, I feel I need to give something back. When I say I'd do anything, I mean it. If I had to sacrifice my own life to save him, I would." I was being honest, if I had to die to keep him alive, I wouldn't hesitate, worryingly, Seb knew this too.

"I know, but he married you and he knew you were like that, so obviously he didn't have a problem with it before. I'm starting to get the feeling that this is Moran that he's the one trying to pull us all apart. He's just playing mind games with all of us. He's making you think that Jim wants you to become complacent, he's making Jim think I'm an emotional wreck, making Sherlock think that I'm...betraying him, and then making me think that I don't need Sherlock and that Jim's trying to kill all of you." Deduced Angie, it sounded plausible, but my mind was filled with so much doubt, Jim was all I could focus on.

"Maybe, maybe not. I just want to salvage what's left of my relationship. I can't worry about Moran. Angie, Jim said he wondered why we bothered to stay married. I have to fight for him." I said desperately.

"He was just...upset, and people say things they don't mean when they're upset. Just let him cool down and talk to him again, I'm sure you'll work it all out, without you having to change who you are. You told me you didn't want a marriage full of secrets. If you do this and act like something you're not, you're not going to have an honest marriage." Said Angie gently, I knew she was right, but my rational mind wasn't listening.

"I 'spose you're right, but I've never seen him so angry. Well I have, but the person who made him that angry died a very painful death." I confided.

"Percy, I can tell that you two both really love each other. It'll work out." Soothed Angie, I wanted to believe her. I wasn't certain.

"I hope so. It will work out for you too. Sherlock is just stubborn and Seb sees you as the one that got away. You've got two obsessive men who love you." I observed.

"Well, I don't know what to do about that. Especially since right now, Sherlock's pushing me away, and Seb's trying to pull me back, but I don't think I want to...I don't know." Angie exclaimed, frustrated.

"I'll love you regardless of who you choose." I said hugging her.

"Thanks." Replied Angie. I left her to go to bed. I went up to my room, grabbed a spare blanket and put my pyjamas on. I went into the library, picked up my book and read. I was too awake to sleep, my mind in overdrive. Hiding away in the library meant not having to face Jim until the morning.