After his return from Ireland two days later, Tom was quick to reassure Sybil that Josh harboured no hard feelings.
"He'd almost forgotten about it by the time we got back to Swansea. Honestly, he told me all about your time in the park – he was full of it! Don't fret, he's not one to hold a grudge, he was just upset at the time that's all."
His explanation of the subsequent conversation with Eddie was less expressive, but he made no suggestion of ill-will and Sybil didn't want to appear paranoid by probing further. She still felt guilty that she had allowed Josh to be unobserved with Samson and wished that their time together had not ended on such a sour note. However Tom wryly informed her that parenthood was filled with incidents of self-reproach and suggested with a cheeky grin that she had given herself the best possible preparation.
Weeks passed and winter made its slow encroach. As the days shortened and temperatures fell, Sybil felt more subdued than usual and could not raise her customary excitement for the festive period. Her father's poor health weighed heavily on her mind and she continued to harbour intermittent doubts about the longevity of her relationship with Tom. With her fortnightly visits to Yorkshire and Tom's regular journeys to Ireland, their time together was in short supply – snatched hours after her shift or the occasional weekend morning before she left for work. She felt exhausted by frequent travelling, long and often emotionally charged shifts, as well as the usual pre-Christmas activities and purchases to be fitted in.
Robert was released from hospital in early December. His condition had improved but the long-term future remained precarious. His consultant emphasised how important it was to remain worry-free during his long recuperation. Fearful that he would not be able to resist interfering in the work undertaken by the temporary Events Manager at the estate, his family conspired against him. If he was found involved with any aspects of the business, he would be immediately transferred to the Dower House under the watchful eye of his mother. The threat of the Dowager Countess's undeviating maternal care was sufficient to ensure that Robert remained mainly upstairs, allowed only to take short walks in the park or an occasional game of billiards with Carson, who mostly ensured that his employer won.
Sybil did not broach the subject of their earlier differences, but her father frequently asked after both Tom and Josh and she made the decision to reconcile the matter in her mind. She spent as much time as possible with him during her visits and although they talked of mostly inconsequential matters, it served to close the gulf between them.
Cora proposed that they should avoid their customary large family gathering at Christmas. The three sisters were usually all at home for the festive period. Matthew's mother was always invited and so far Michael had not been able to persuade Edith to depart from tradition and visit his own parents on the day itself. With two young children now included into the mix, as well as their grandmother and aunt, Christmases at Downton were always lively - circumstances Robert was under strict orders to avoid.
Sybil was disappointed, but supported her mother's decision and arranged a brief visit to Yorkshire a week beforehand in order to deposit her presents to the family. With no other immediate family of her own, she quickly volunteered to work at the hospital over the Christmas period, requesting three days off at New Year in compromise. As a student, she had once worked on Christmas Day, but generally the wards were staffed by those whose families were abroad or who did not celebrate. She knew that a jolly atmosphere would prevail and soon received an offer to subsequently spend the evening with Gwen and her family. It conspired to be one of the most fun Christmases she had ever experienced, incomparable to the usual indulgence of food and family at Downton. Although she missed her parents and sisters, the pleasure she gained from making the day special for those forced to spend Christmas in hospital, far outweighed any wistfulness. Adorned with a tinselled halo for the first time since her Junior School nativity play, she and her colleagues distributed mince pies alongside drugs and sang carols at the bedside of those unwell enough to rise. Sybil wisely kept her vocal contribution to a minimum, compensating instead with over-gesticulation and a broad smile. The aside she had made months earlier to Tom had been correct, she really did struggle to hold a tune.
After her shift ended, she spent an hour with Eleri, who cheerfully brushed aside any concern that she was spending the majority of the day without company. The day-care centre she visited didn't open on Christmas Day and although volunteers had distributed cooked dinners earlier in the day, she had eaten alone. Sybil left her eagerly awaiting a Skype call from her son in Canada and drove to Pontypridd for Gwen's extended family gathering, an evening which proved entertainingly raucous.
Tom travelled to Ireland to spend Christmas Day with Josh, Eddie and her parents before taking his son to Dublin on Boxing Day, with the plan to then bring him to Swansea for New Year. Sybil swiftly rebuffed his polite suggestion that she enjoy a lively evening elsewhere with friends on the 31st - although she received two separate invitations - and was looking forward to their own private celebration, albeit with Josh sleeping in his bedroom next door. It would be her first overnight stay at Tom's flat with Josh in residence, something which felt like another significant hurdle in their relationship. They hadn't discussed the logistics in detail but she suspected that Tom would rise and transfer to the sofa before Josh woke, making it appear as if he had selflessly given up his bed for her.
The day before New Year's Eve, she was shopping in Cardiff city centre and battling with the sales crowds when Tom telephoned her.
"I can't really talk…" she bellowed from the queue in TK Maxx, holding three hangers underneath her arm as she dipped her head in an effort to try and hear him. "…it's a bit mad in here. Is everything alright? Have you left yet?" He was booked on the afternoon ferry and Sybil was planning to leave them to have some time alone before she went over to Swansea the following morning. She was anxious to spend some time with Josh during the day and reassure herself that he truly had forgiven her for his injury.
Tom was mainly inaudible, offering a jumble of consonants which made no sense.
"Say it again?" she said, closing her eyes in an attempt to concentrate. Finally she heard the words ill and in bed.
"You're ill?" she asked, battling concern against disappointment. "How ill, what's the matter?"
"No, Josh is ill" he shouted.
"Again?" The word emerged before she could prevent it. How petty she sounded, making her celebration with the two of them her priority instead of his son's health. Yet she couldn't help but feel wary at the repetition of the previous year's events.
She heard further garbled words of indistinct clarity, but Tom's apologetic tone made the sentiment clear.
"You're not coming, are you?" she said icily, standing erect and staring unseeing at the wall behind the row of tills ahead. The blow of disappointment was two-fold; the cancellation of their New Year's Eve together and the realisation that once again she would be side-lined in favour of his son.
"I'm really sorry, I'm so disappointed" she heard him say and rolled her eyes at his platitudes.
"Does he need to go to hospital?" she asked calmly, trying to assess the level of danger involved before she made her dissatisfaction clear.
Tom's reply was inaudible and she expelled a heavy sigh. "I can't hear you!"
"NO!"
An electronic voice sounded ahead. 'Cashier number 4 please' and a split second later, Sybil felt a solid push at her waist and an impatient Welsh voice behind her.
"Go on, it's your turn"
She turned to give the woman a steely smile before walking towards the counter and placing her items on the desk. She didn't like being on the telephone while served, it felt both belittling and rude so she mouthed a silent apology at the harassed looking cashier who raised a half-hearted grimace and shrugged.
"I have to go" she snapped into the hand-set. "I'm very sorry to hear that Josh is unwell but I'm afraid it sounds a very familiar story. Eddie doesn't want him to come over to Wales and you're going to cave in to her request once again."
"Sybil, that's not fair. He's really not…"
She could feel her distress rising against Tom's attempt at diplomacy. The mass of bodies within the shop was making her sweat, not helped by wearing a thick winter coat for the temperatures outside. The cashier repeated the amount due, wearing a fixed smile which indicated her growing impatience and Sybil began to fumble for her purse. She could feel tears beginning to brew and furious with herself at succumbing to a battle for Tom's care and attention, felt her patience suddenly snap.
"Do what you want. I expect nothing less." Without waiting for his reply, she ended the call, handing over her credit card and blinking through watery eyes to type her pin number.
After that, her desire to shop was quashed. She marched furiously to the bus depot, not certain whether she should feel indignant or bereft, but realising that their relationship could not now continue in the same manner as before. He was beholden to Eddie and her opinions and while she appreciated Edith's earlier warning that she should not try to compete with his son, the idea of losing out repeatedly to Josh's mother was unsurmountable. It felt as if she was faced with two options – issue Tom with an ultimatum or end their relationship. The thought of either left her feeling desperately sad.
As she was walking towards the departing bay for buses to Roath, she passed one which travelled in the opposite direction through Eleri's suburb and as she glanced to her side, a vehicle began to turn in. A long, lonely afternoon stretched ahead of her, with two subsequent days now lying unexpectedly empty. She thought of her elderly friend and the positive attitude she held - never seeming to dwell on the absences from her life, but taking enjoyment from the lives of others and focussing on what little she had. On impulse Sybil joined the queue and boarded the bus, telephoning Eleri from her seat so as not to alarm her. She disembarked two streets early to buy a packet of biscuits from a local shop. Eleri was certain to lament the fact that she had not been given an opportunity to bake before the visit and she wouldn't be able to disguise her dissatisfaction at a shop-bought cake. Shortbread provided an adequate compromise.
The visit offered morale boosting qualities as well as comfort. Sybil was guaranteed an enthusiastic welcome, her company was always desired. However, she also knew that Eleri was perceptive enough to recognise when Sybil was troubled and that she could be certain of a sympathetic yet honest opinion.
"Well this is a lovely surprise Sybil" her friend repeated for the fourth time as she carefully placed a tray of tea and biscuits beside her. "I wasn't expecting to see you again until 2014." Eleri tapped a hand on the wooden armrest of her chair. "Another year to have been blessed with in full, God willing."
"You've got plenty more still to come, Eleri." Sybil said with a smile.
Eleri bestowed a benevolent gaze in her direction. "I'm very lucky. I've seen a fair few off, but for some reason I'm still here and I'm grateful." She shook her head and diverted the conversation. "Have you been in town, lovely?"
"Yes, I got a couple of things in the sales, but it's madness there. I can't stand all the pushing and shoving. And it gets so hot!"
Eleri nodded. "I know, I can't bear it myself. Always avoid it."
The idea of Eleri pushing her way through the throng of people along Queen's Street on her Zimmer frame was inconceivable, not to mention the idea of how she would get there in the first place. But it suited her to believe that she chose not to go, rather than could not.
"Let's see what you got then, give me a fashion show!"
So Sybil indulged her by using the kitchen as a changing room and displaying her newly purchased top, trousers and skirt. Parading the length of Eleri's living room, she gave exaggerated hip thrusts to match any catwalk model and left her friend wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.
Once she had re-dressed, she sat back on an adjacent sofa with a heavy thump. Catching her eye, Eleri's concern was evident.
"Is everything else okay, Sybil? Are Tom and Josh still coming over tomorrow?"
With a weary sigh, Sybil explained their earlier conversation.
"He's never going to put me first, Eleri. He's so worried about Eddie's poor opinion and how it'll transfer to Josh, that she just gets her own way every time."
Eleri stroked her fingers along the armrest and looked thoughtful. "Did he actually say that Eddie had asked him not to come?"
Sybil tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Well I couldn't really hear him properly, but that was the impression I got. It's exactly what happened last year. Josh sneezes and she doesn't want him to travel." She expelled a loud snort. "Doesn't want him to spend New Year with me and Tom, more like!"
"But you don't know that for sure?"
"No"
"And Tom said that Josh is in bed? That sounds a little more than a sneeze and a sniffle."
Sybil felt the first seeds of self-doubt. "Well, yes but he's probably just got a temperature or something. I expect he'll be much better by the morning, but Eddie's had her say and Tom's capitulated as usual."
"He's worried for his son, love" Eleri said gently and with a start, Sybil remembered her friend's own separation from her children. With a growing sense of unease, she cleared her throat.
"Well I'll hear what he's got to say later. I know you probably think I'm just being selfish…"
"Of course not dear, you're disappointed. That's understandable. You were looking forward to being a little family together for the next couple of days."
Sybil sat still as her friend's words sank in. It was quite true that Sybil was looking forward to spending time with both of them. She wanted to see the New Year in with Tom for the first time, but equally she relished the opportunity to get her relationship with Josh back on track. There were times when she conjured up an image of the three of them out and about together. On the campsite the previous summer, a child had offered Josh some sweets but as he stretched out his hand, the child's father had glanced in her direction and warned. "You'd better just check with your Mum first." Josh hadn't been thrown by the suggestion, he had simply corrected the man. "That's not my Mam, that's Sybil. Sybil, am I allowed to have a sweet?" She had never mentioned the conversation to Tom, who had been retrieving something from the car at the time, but she was attracted by the idea that to observers, they appeared a family unit of three.
"Yes I suppose I was" she admitted.
"But you're a family of four really. Three adults and one child. Everyone's jostling for their place. You've just got to find a way to all find your feet."
Sybil leant forward, her elbow on her knee and rested her chin on a hand. "But what if mine are the ones which always get trampled on?"
"Then you have to decide either to walk away or buy some steel toe caps, dear."
ooOoo
Sybil was already on her second glass of wine by 7.45 when Tom rang again. She was half-watching EastEnders, trying not to brood about what had taken place, browsing aimlessly on Facebook.
She only had a chance to say "Hello" before he made his announcement.
"I'm coming over on the morning ferry."
She threw her head back with surprise. "Is he better, then?"
"Well he's no worse, but I'm coming without him."
She screwed up her face in puzzlement. "I don't understand, how come?"
There was a brief pause before his voice softened. "Because I want to see in the New Year with you, Sybil."
"But…" Before she could question him any further, he interrupted her.
"The doctor's been round to see him and she's put my mind at rest a little. It's some kind of virus but it's not dangerous. Eddie's already cancelled her New Year plans so there's no need for me to stay. I'll come back over after for a day or two so I can see he's on the mend."
For a short while, Sybil was dumbstruck. The speech she had mentally rehearsed – a combination of self-righteous indignation and blatant disappointment – had been instantly blown away by his proposal.
"I love you" he added quietly. "I want to be with you tomorrow night and I hope we can start the New Year afresh." There was a pause before he pointedly added. "The first of many together."
His voice was tinged with anxiety; she could sense he had prepared himself for a rebuff. Although her heart swelled at the gesture he was making and its significance for their future, there was still one subject left unspoken.
"What does Eddie think about you coming over?"
There was only a moment's silence, but it told her everything she needed to know. "I don't need her permission, Sybil. I make my own decisions."
"Has she asked you to stay?"
"She would prefer me to, yes. But I'm satisfied that he's safe and it's only going to be a couple of days. Obviously if he were to deteriorate overnight…"
"…of course!" Sybil placed a hand over her heart. The idea of Josh being dangerously ill was terrifying. If that were the case, she wouldn't even entertain the idea of Tom travelling over to Wales, regardless of any point he was trying to make to restore their relationship. In fact, she would be on the first ferry over to Ireland to see Josh herself.
As soon as the thought passed through her mind, it felt obvious what she should do. The very fact that Tom was prepared to defy Eddie and leave Josh behind, was proof enough of his commitment to her. His son was unwell and she knew that the decision to leave him would weigh heavily on his mind. He wouldn't voice it out loud, but he would carry a burden of guilt nonetheless. Sybil didn't want him to suffer with self-rebuke, a belief that he was letting Josh down, not when it was unavoidable.
"No" she said firmly and in her mind could picture Tom placing a hand over his face in anguish. She cleared her throat, anxious to put him out of his misery.
"There's no need to leave him. I'll come to you."
"What?" He sounded astonished.
"I know what you're trying to do, Tom and the offer was enough. It's okay."
"But…"
"I know deep down you don't want to leave Josh and I don't blame you. If I come to Kilkenny then he'll have both of his parents there and we'll get to let the New Year in together as planned." An unwelcome vision flashed before her. "I mean, I'm not sure we should actually be in Eddie's house at midnight. The three of us there together, it might be a bit…" She searched for a diplomatic conclusion.
"Claustrophobic" he suggested. "I agree. Christ Sybil, are you sure? I'm just…" She could hear the emotion in his voice as he battled with relief and delight.
"I'm sure. Well provided I can get on a ferry, that is. I hope it's not fully booked."
"You'll get on by foot. If you can't drive on, I'll come and get you." He sounded ecstatic now, half laughing as he came up with alternative plans, his enthusiasm infectious. She found herself grinning, adjusting her position on the sofa, tucking her feet beneath her.
"I'll have to come back on New Year's Day though, I've got to work the next day."
"I can take you back to the port if needs be. God, it's going to be a flying visit isn't it, are you certain you want to make the effort?"
"You were going to make it for me" she pointed out.
"Ach, well you're worth it."
A wide beam broke across her face. "So are you." And she meant it.
ooOoo
It felt wrong to benefit from the disappointment of others, but as Sybil rang Eddie's doorbell, she couldn't help but feel grateful to the anonymous family whose car had broken down on the outskirts of Gloucester. Their failure to reach the ferry in time meant that Sybil had been able to embark in their place on a busy New Year's Eve. She had spent much of the journey mentally rehearsing innocuous conversations with Eddie, anxious not to create any more tension than her presence itself would provide.
Having expected that Tom would open the door, she smiled broadly with anticipation and was therefore wholly unprepared to face Eddie so soon. Hollow eyed and pale, Eddie stared at her without expression.
"Oh" she finally said and with it came an element of surprise.
Sybil felt her stomach muscles clench with foreboding. "Did Tom not tell you that I was coming?" she asked. If he hadn't, she thought that her newly restored feeling of good-will towards him might come to an abrupt end.
Eddie gave a fleeting shake of her head, still offering an air of distraction. "Yes…yes he did." She remained immobile and Sybil swallowed hard in an effort not to show her frustration.
"May I come in?" she asked politely. Her request seemed to finally sink in and Eddie stepped back into her hallway.
"Of course" she said quietly and Sybil went inside, wiping her feet carefully on the mat. She watched Eddie carefully tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and shift her weight awkwardly from one foot to another. She bore little resemblance to the pretty, well-groomed woman at Josh's birthday party - her hair was limp and without shine, she didn't appear to be wearing any make-up and had a prominent spot on the side of her chin. Sybil wasn't sure whether anxiety over Josh's condition was behind her haunted expression, or the unanticipated arrival of Tom's girlfriend. She offered a silent hope that it was not the latter; she had no desire to be the provider of anyone's misery.
"How's Josh doing today?" she asked and watched Eddie's impenetrable mask shift a little, providing a glimpse of fragility.
"He's not really improved at all" she replied and her mouth twisted with what Sybil could see was anxiety. "The doctor came yesterday morning and said to just keep him hydrated and comfortable, but just let him see it out. He's not actually got any worse, but…" She trailed off, her worst fears left unspoken and Sybil instinctively wanted to try and reassure her.
"Well some of these winter viruses can last a few days, they're nasty. I'd expect you to see some improvement in a day or two, but it could be a week or more before he's fully back on his feet."
Eddie turned her head and observed Sybil through narrowed eyes. "I'd forgotten you're a nurse" she said and Sybil nodded with an awkward smile. "Would you take a look at him, give me a second opinion do you think?" Eddie watched her intently, chewing on a nail. "Just help me put my mind at rest?"
"You know I'm a cancer nurse, right?" Sybil said.
Eddie's discomfort was visible. "Yes I know but I thought…"
"But obviously I did a general nursing degree and I do see various viruses in my patients, their immune systems are very damaged. But I'm not a paediatric expert. I'm happy to take a look but if there's anything I'm not comfortable with, I'd have to refer you back to a doctor."
"I understand" Eddie bowed her head, but before she did so, stole another fleeting glance in Sybil's direction.
"Lead the way" Sybil said as brightly as she could muster, appreciating that the request had probably come at a cost to Eddie's pride.
Eddie guided her up the staircase and pointed rather unnecessarily at a door adorned with Josh's name. Inside the light was dimmed and Sybil tentatively pushed the door ajar, stepping back with a start as a shadowy figure ahead unexpectedly leapt out of a chair. Tom began to tug at earphones and pulled a face of apology.
"Sorry" he whispered. "I didn't realise you were here already." He craned his neck to look behind her. "Did you…?"
"Eddie let me in" Sybil said firmly, nodding her head and smiling to put him at his ease. A glance to her right provided the sight of a sleeping Josh, curled on his side under a Spiderman duvet, his face flushed and hair damp with sweat. "She's asked me to have a look at him, let her know what I think."
"Oh…" Tom was clearly startled and once again peered out onto the landing. Eddie had disappeared through another door, withdrawing from their reunion. He leant forward and gently kissed her lips. "Okay?" he whispered.
"Fine, yes." She squeezed his hand, fighting back the desire to wrap her arms around him. "I can't do much while he's asleep really. I can take his temperature but I really need him awake to have a better idea."
Tom nodded. "Shall I make you a cup of tea first?" He took a step towards the door before Josh's voice emerged from the gloom.
"Daddy…" he croaked and Sybil's heart ached at such audible frailty.
"Yes Josh, I'm here darlin'."
"Is that Sybil in here?" Josh asked, sounding incredulous and attempting to raise himself up on shaky arms. "Is she in my bedroom?"
"Hi Josh" Sybil replied, filled with trepidation at her welcome. "I've come over to see you and Daddy. I'm sorry you're not feeling very well." She walked over and knelt on the floor beside his bed. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm not very well" he replied mournfully, dropping his head back on to the pillow and Sybil pulled a sympathetic face. "But I think I might get better quickly now you're here." He turned back on his side and gave a smile of such earnest pleasure, that Sybil felt a lump take position at the back of her throat and for a short while found herself unable to speak.
ooOoo
Once Sybil was satisfied that there was nothing of substantial concern within Josh's condition, she went downstairs. Tom and Eddie were standing in the kitchen, leaning on opposite counters, their faces mirroring a shared unease.
"I think the doctor's right" Sybil said with a confident smile. "It's just a virus and you're doing all the right things. It's going to take a while to fight off and he's going to be weak for a few days. I'd hazard a guess that we'll see a slight improvement tomorrow and then he'll gradually build back up."
As she spoke, her head moved from one to the other as if she was watching a tennis match. Tom was smiling while Eddie nodded thoughtfully, a fingernail permanently between her teeth.
"And he said he'd like a glass of squash please." Sybil added. "Which is also a good sign. He's after something more tasty than just water."
"I'll get it" Tom leapt forward and began to open cupboard doors, pouring the drink and adding water from the tap. "I'll just take it up to him."
As he mounted the stairs, Sybil took a step towards Eddie, anxious to make it clear that she could not pass the ultimate judgement. "Obviously, if there's any sign of deterioration, then you should take him straight to hospital. But I really don't think there will be."
"And the rash on his chest?"
"It's part of the viral infection. It doesn't appear to be irritating him, it'll disappear as quickly as it came, I should think."
Eddie stared intently at the floor. "Thank you" she said softly.
"No problem. I'm glad I can help." Silence prevailed once again and Sybil listened intently for an indication that Tom was returning to help break the awkward atmosphere.
Eddie took a deep breath and finally met Sybil's gaze. "I was just really worried, you know…"
"Of course you were, that's understandable."
"I was scared at first that it might be…." She cleared her throat and stared forcefully over Sybil's shoulder. "…meningitis." As she uttered the final word, her voice cracked with emotion and without thinking, Sybil took another step closer to place a hand on Eddie's arm.
"I can't see anything that makes me think it could be, I promise." For a few seconds they stood conjoined, neither making any effort to move before Eddie turned her head towards her and tried her best to smile.
"Thank you. It's a relief to hear that."
Sybil removed her hand and stepped sideways, occupying Tom's previous position. Torn between wanting to meet Eddie's eye and a fear of causing further discomfort, she found herself staring at the stainless steel kettle and watching their distorted reflections – one blonde, one dark, each pre-occupied with thoughts and emotions they felt unable to share.
"Well…" Eddie ran a hand through her hair and stood up straight. "I think I'll go and have a shower, if you'll excuse me? Tom's trying to persuade me to go to my friend's house for a couple of hours tonight. I'd cancelled but now you're here with him…" She scratched the back of her neck and looked away. "Anyway I'll see how Josh is later on before I decide but I'd best freshen up anyway." She began to walk away but then hesitated, placing a hand on the fridge before half-turning her head.
"He's very fond of you by the way."
"Oh…" Sybil wasn't certain who she meant and the ambiguity appeared to simultaneously strike Eddie, who uttered a nervous laugh. "I meant Josh, but obviously they both are. He talked a lot about you taking him out on the lake near your flat, he obviously had a great time."
"I'm very sorry about my cat biting him" Sybil said hastily and Eddie nodded, still avoiding Sybil's gaze.
"Well he won't grab a cat's tail again in a hurry, I think."
Sybil waited for further comment but none came. With the realisation that she had been holding her breath, she quietly exhaled and Eddie turned fully around to face her.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked, her indecipherable mask back in place. Sybil felt her stomach give a violent lurch.
"Of course." She spoke evenly, determined not to display evidence of her rising anxiety.
Eddie gazed down towards Sybil's feet. "Do you love Tom as much as he seems to love you?"
It wasn't the question she had expected, but she didn't need to hesitate with her reply.
"Yes I do. Absolutely."
Eddie slowly nodded her head and Sybil spotted signs of tension etched across her jaw. "Good" she said finally. "I don't want him to get hurt."
Lost for words, Sybil reached behind her to grasp the kitchen counter with shaking hands, while Eddie turned and made her way towards the stairs.
ooOoo
Sybil had enjoyed many memorable New Year's Eves during her lifetime – huddled around a fire on a freezing Yorkshire beach, battling the crowds alongside the Thames in London, a jazz club in New York, a country house in Western Scotland, parties with her family at Downton, harried nights on a hospital ward. She had spent one occasion drinking champagne in bed with her former boyfriend Theo, another gazing across the table at Damian in an upmarket hotel near Bath. Yet none would ever leave as indelible a mark in her heart as the one she spent with Tom at the Travelodge on a small industrial estate at the edge of Kilkenny.* Beggars can't be choosers, Sybil mused. Hotel availability was in short supply when she had searched the internet the previous evening.
Eddie eventually agreed to spend a couple of hours at a friend's dinner party, but declared that she was too exhausted to stay up until midnight and would return home after the meal came to an end.
Over the course of the evening they agreed a plan for midnight, hoping to find the fine line between neither snubbing Eddie, nor rubbing her nose in their happiness together. Sybil was anxious not to betray any confidences, but after some deliberation, told Tom about the question Eddie had earlier posed. Such unexpected concession from a woman she believed disliked her, had left her feeling puzzled and unsettled. She had built Eddie up to be a fairy-tale villain, a reputation served by hearsay, implication and one conversation not intended for her ears. Today's evidence showed her to be a diligent and anxious mother, frightened for her son's health and unexpectedly resigned to his father's mounting contentment with somebody else.
"She's had six months to get used to the idea of us" Tom explained gently, stroking a finger along the back of Sybil's hand as they watched Love Actually. Eddie didn't have On Demand TV and had a very limited selection of DVDs to hand in her living room. It was otherwise a toss-up between Titanic ("please God, no" Tom had declared), Knocked up ("How ironic" he muttered) or Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders.
"I think she's realised it's not a passing thing, that we're serious." And then he looked at her with such unexpected alarm that Sybil felt her heart begin to race with anticipation of what he might say. "It is serious, isn't it?" he said earnestly. "I mean, you came over here…"
She silenced him with a long kiss, the strength of which she hoped would satisfy any doubts he still harboured. "And you were prepared to come over to me. So yes, I'd say we're pretty serious."
Threading his fingers through hers, he brought her hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips gently against her knuckles. "Obviously if we formalise anything, then we'll all have to talk. Define our boundaries with Josh and all that…" She saw his eyes flicker in her direction as if gauging her reaction to his implication and she felt a further wave of happiness.
"Well, let's worry about that when it happens" she said smiling and he nodded, breaking into a wide grin. No declarations had been made, no particulars established, but their mutual intentions were laid bare.
They were contentedly snuggled together on the sofa when they heard Eddie's key in the door at 10.40pm and abruptly leaped apart like a broken spring. However, she didn't enter the living room and was pouring herself a glass of water in the kitchen when they emerged shortly afterwards.
"There's lots going on in town, I hear" she said flatly, setting the glass down on the counter and turning to face them. "But you can stay here for midnight if you prefer. I'm going to check on Josh and go to bed."
"I'll go with Sybil to her hotel" Tom replied, keeping his tone light but free of anything which could be construed as apologetic. "But thank you for the offer, Eddie. I'll come back in the early hours and keep an eye on Josh. You get some decent sleep."
Neither of them wanted to push the boundaries of Eddie's unexpected hospitality any further so they drove to the hotel. Rooms in even the most basic of establishments are in short supply on New Year's Eve so they were allocated a room at the very top, negotiating a narrow staircase after the lift reached its summit. Sybil felt sure that it was mostly used by staff staying overnight – small and poky with mismatched furniture and bathroom grout which had seen better days. Both of them had been pre-occupied in the run up to the evening so neither had thought to buy anything to drink, but they raided the mini-bar and opened two beers, a small bottle of Prosecco and the obligatory mini box of Pringles. The only window was a velux in the sloping roof, which offered a view of nothing but a dark and overcast sky and a recent deposit by a passing bird. But as midnight passed and they toasted the New Year and one another, a rapid crackle of fireworks across the town was heard and they looked up to see a miscellany of colour exploding in the night above.
"Happy New Year, Tom" Sybil whispered, craning her neck to observe the fountain of bright lights rise above the glass before she turned to meet his lips. "I love you very much."
His hand curled around her waist as he drew her closer and his tongue teased the inside of her mouth. "Oh I love you too, Sybil."
Drawing his head back, he gazed at her in silence for a moment as if trying to memorise every feature. "I give thanks every day that you found me again, you know?" he said and traced his finger along her cheek.
Sybil flashed a grin before she stole another fleeting kiss. "I give thanks for the internet!" She thought for a moment and remembered her friend's initial urging. "And for Gwen!"
"And so where will we be next New Year, do you think Sybil?" he asked silkily but she heard enough self-doubt to know that reassurance would be welcome.
"Well…" she paused, unable to resist an opportunity to tease. "I'm kind of hoping that we won't be in the Travelodge in Kilkenny, welcoming though they are." They exchanged grins before leaping in unison at another explosion of noise and colour above. She leant slowly towards him until their noses sat only a hair width apart and she could feel the heat from his gentle breaths. "But wherever it is, we'll be together."
A/N: So, did Eddie surprise you? I'm sorry if you were hoping for a big row or dramatic confrontation, but I decided from the start that it would be too predictable. I know we all hate Edna's character in the show, but in this story she's a woman who Tom voluntarily dated and who he still likes and admires. She's got more positive qualities than the one dimensional woman we saw on screen. This story has deliberately been written from Sybil's POV only – Tom rarely gives much detail of his conversations with Eddie and comments can be misconstrued or exaggerated in one's mind, particularly when Sybil is feeling insecure. As I've mentioned already to some, I also believe that Tom's mother suffers from a little bit of competitive grandparenting with Eddie's parents. And as Tom explained, by this point in time Eddie has had six months to get used to the idea, she's seen how Tom and Sybil were each prepared to travel across the Irish Sea to spend 24 hours together at New Year and so that will have given her a firm indication that their relationship is solid and long-lasting. Added to which, her biggest concern in the run up to the evening was undoubtedly Josh's health, about which Sybil was able to help ease her concerns. Her gratitude outweighed her resentment and led her to be more gracious than she might otherwise have felt. I'm quite sure it won't be all moonlight and roses from this point onwards – it's going to be difficult for Eddie to accept a third significant adult in Josh's life and their lives will be a constant balancing act. Anyway, I'm sure you can gather that I am heading towards a conclusion – one more chapter and then an epilogue to follow.
*There isn't actually a Travelodge in Kilkenny. In fact there doesn't appear to be a budget hotel chain anywhere in its immediate vicinity. But Travelodge is a familiar chain in both the UK and Ireland so I have used artistic licence to provide the atmosphere I was looking for!