One fine day when Team Avatar was once again gathered in the upstairs lounge of the Jasmine Dragon hanging out, Sokka suddenly sat up straight after reclining on the couch browsing lazily through the Companion. He pointed to a certain page. "Hey, this one's called Musings of a Sofa!" He looked around at the others. "What's a sofa?"
"It's a name the Earth Kingdom merchants give to the plush couches they sell," Toph explained. "I heard my dad talking about them before."
"They call them that to make them sound exotic and attract more customers, I suppose?" Katara guessed.
"Meh, who knows?" Toph shrugged. "I'm not into furniture much. I just like destroying them," she grinned while cracking her knuckles.
Aang peered over Sokka's shoulder at the page. "I've never heard of stories told from a piece of furniture's point of view before. It does sound interesting, though."
"Then we'll check this out now!" And with that, Sokka began the story.
I am a sofa.
"That's pretty straightforward," Toph remarked. "I like it."
Now that we've got that out of the way, I will tell you that I have occupied this beach house for a very, very long time. I've cushioned the bums of some of the world's most powerful men–Fire Lord Azulon, Prince Iroh, Prince Ozai; I've dutifully acted as a buffer between their hindquarters and the less noble floor for as long as I have existed on this earth.
Sokka burst out laughing. "I love that last line! This sofa's got a good sense of humor!"
"Considering your idea of good humor tends to be different from the rest of us, I wouldn't pass judgement just yet," Toph said. "At least we know this sofa can handle human language."
"That's good," Aang agreed, "although I don't think a lot of furniture know how to speak."
"If they did, I'm sure Sokka's bed must have complained a thousand times by now, what with him always leaving it in a state of disaster every time he wakes up in the morning," Katara smirked, while her brother shot her a look of irritation.
So you can understand why I would feel a trifle miffed when suddenly my cushions are being torn off me and hurled back and forth across the room by a clutch of mad hoodlums. Never have I been witness to such unbridled chaos as wrought by these children; not even when little Princess Azula spat up on my good friend, the loveseat, so many years ago.
"Does Azula hate furniture a lot?" Sokka asked Zuko, who shrugged.
"She never liked sitting still in one place for long when we were little, so I guess she might have had an animosity to couches."
"Add that to the list of things she hates then," Toph said, "and put that right below our names. And I'm pretty sure the 'loveseat' in the story ties with Zuko here."
"That's rough, buddy," Sokka said, while Zuko nodded sadly.
They just barge right in and lay waste to everything in their path. I cannot but sit here in my dignity as they run about the place, terrorizing my fellow furniture. I can merely look on as they tear through the house, each trying to claim the best rooms, best beds, best bathrooms.
A grubby foot, the most filthy I've ever felt, stomps one of my cushions into the dusty hardwood as its owner, a young, dark-haired girl, marches toward the kitchen. "This place got any grub?" she calls out, but to whom, I am not certain. I fear for the kitchenware.
"Poor kitchenware," Sokka said fervently.
Toph shrugged. "Hey, it's just kitchenware."
"Of course you'd say that; you're the girl in the story!"
"Who says I am?"
"Who else has filthy feet like yours? The rest of us do wear shoes and have the sense not to stomp on couches, you know!"
"Well, in the case of filthy feet, I'd say you're pretty high up the list yourself!"
"Sokka, just continue the story," Kataar interjected before Sokka could retort at Toph. The Water Tribe teen huffed and picked up the book, pointedly ignoring Toph's stuck-out tongue.
It is not long before I learn the identities–and the posteriors–of these ungovernable rogues. They are the Avatar's group, and Prince Zuko is the one who has brought them here.
"So this sofa is from your family's house on Ember Island?" Aang asked Zuko.
"Of course it is - what other sofa did Azulon, Iroh and Ozai all sit on before?" Sokka answered. "It did say it had been in a beach house for a very long time."
"Also, since the sofa referred to my father as a prince, it must have been from Ember Island," Zuko added. "My family never visited the beach house after my father became Fire Lord, so the sofa wouldn't know that my father's status had changed."
"It's kinda weird; we're talking about a sofa as if it had actual feelings. Almost like it's human," Katara commented.
Toph shrugged. "Hey, this whole story is told by the sofa. It's understandable."
I always liked Prince Zuko. He was such a well-behaved child. He and Princess Ursa would sit upon me and read stories together when the heat became too great to play outside. As a sofa, it is not my place to judge my master's guests, but I do wonder how in the mortal realm such a well-to-do boy took up with such slovenly raff.
Sokka frowned at the book. "Are we really that bad company? Zuko, your sofa seems to have a rather bad impression of us., although I guess that's because Toph went and stomped on it."
"You sure it's not because the sofa couldn't stand the stench of the previous meal's smoked meat coming from you?" Toph smirked.
"At least the sofa likes Zuko," Aang said hastily, trying to prevent another quarrel between the two.
"Yeah, that's nice. A sofa likes me," Zuko said drily.
"Quite an achievement, eh Zuko?" Toph grinned.
"Indeed."
To be fair, it is really only the young girl with the black feet and the dark-skinned boy who engage in such distasteful behavior, but the two of them more than make up for their comrades.
"Well, that's that matter taken care of then," Katara said. "You two don't need to fight it out any more, because you're both equally bad."
"Hey, I -" Sokka started to protest, but he was cut off by Toph.
"I'll accept that explanation, Sugar Queen. Snoozles, just continue reading." Sokka gave a huff of indignation before returning to the story.
I am subject to all manner of mistreatment during the course of their stay. The dark-skinned boy lies backward atop me, defiling my pristine armrests with his rank–although admittedly not quite as rank as the young earthbender's–feet;
"Hah! I told you you're the one with the dirtier feet!" Sokka exclaimed as he pointed a triumphant finger at Toph.
"Yeah, but the point is, your feet are still filthy," the earthbender retorted, and the Water Tribe teen shot her a look of annoyance.
"Everyone's happy then," Aang concluded.
"Except for the sofa," Zuko added.
the Avatar sprawls convex over my back with his head on my seat; the lemur hides half-eaten bugs and berries under my belly;
"I knew that lemur was no good," Sokka muttered. "In fact, I'm not surprised if that bump under me that I've been bearing with for the last hour turns out to be one of Momo's stolen nuts."
"Or it could be just a dust bunny," Aang suggested.
Sokka stared at the airbender. "Dust bunny?"
"Hey, I like them."
The self-appointed narrator simply groaned in disbelief.
the earthbender tracks dirt over my handsome burgundy cushions. The short-haired, sweet-faced girl partakes in less than savory activities with the dark-skinned boy upon my springy surface–although they do have the decency to lay a blanket down first.
"Hey, if that crazy couch's talking about me and Suki -"
"... then that means it knows what it's talking about," Toph finished for Sokka. "Don't deny it Snoozles, we all know you've been getting up to all kinds of weird stuff with Suki back then."
"And to think you still 'get the ooglies' when I'm with Aang," Katara smirked. "Guess you're not so innocent after all."
"I hate you all," Sokka grumbled before continuing to read.
Really, the only two who use me properly are Prince Zuko and the waterbending girl.
"Nice to know there's still people who know how to use furniture in a proper way," Katara smirked.
"Hey, don't get too high and mighty just because a sofa likes you," Sokka warned. "A couch's opinion doesn't count as much in the real world."
"Well, it still gives Sugar Queen an edge over you, since you don't have anyone's favor, whether human or furniture," Toph pointed out.
"But Suki likes me -"
"... because she likes playing with human dolls and dressing them up in girl's clothes," Toph finished with a grin.
Sokka glared at the whole room at large. "Now I really hate you all."
I have noticed that Prince Zuko and the waterbender often sit together, and they always pick me to sit upon. I am glad for this, as it keeps the other four off me during those times when they all inhabit the living room together. When the others aren't there, they just sit quietly together. Sometimes they talk about the Avatar's training, every so often they'll share stories from their pasts–many of Prince Zuko's I was witness to myself–, but mostly they just lounge in silence. I imagine they too require a reprieve from the... energy of their friends.
Toph shrugged. "So we're more energetic than pieces of furniture. Big deal."
"The sofa has a point though - you guys can be quite a handful sometimes," Katara stated.
"Well, no one asked you to be our mother."
"I'm not mothering you! I thought we've already been through this before!"
"Yes, Mother Sugar Queen."
Katara groaned, and Sokka shrugged. "Welcome to my world."
The day the dark-skinned boy discovers the liquor cabinet, a shudder runs through the whole house. We fear what is in store for us.
"You have a liquor cabinet in your house?" Sokka asked Zuko.
"I don't remember; at least, I never saw it when I was there as a kid. But I guess that's because my parents made sure to keep it well hidden from me and Azula."
"Of course they would; imagine what Azula would be like when she's drunk," Toph said, and everyone had a momentary mental image of a berserk princess shooting lightning at anything within a ten-metre radius.
"That... won't be good," Sokka concluded.
"Neither would you getting drunk be any better," Katara said. "Judging from what you were like back in the desert when you drank that cactus juice, if you actually got drunk you'd probably try seducing the cupboard."
"Or making friends with the coconut tree outside the house," Aang added with a grin.
"I trust you all already have my sincere hate? Good." Sokka returned to the story with a dark cloud over his head.
Luckily, their drunken antics take place mostly outside, however they carry on long into the night. When the group finally begins to trickle in, the poor loveseat is run into no less than seven times. Four of which the dark-skinned boy can be held accountable for.
"So now you're wrestling a chair?" Toph smirked.
"I would choose not to respond to that."
"Suit yourself."
I hear the groans of the beds upstairs and think that all of them have settled in for the night. I was mistaken.
I am enjoying a relaxing moment of peace with the loveseat
"Hah!" Sokka pointed a triumphant finger at the book. "Now the sofa itself is engaging in unsavory activities! It's accusations towards me are invalid!"
His four friends just stared at him, and Toph raised an eyebrow. "Sokka, pieces of furniture do not do that kind of stuff. You're overreacting."
"Hey, my good name has just been blemished by a couch."
"Still, I think you've had enough narrating already Snoozles." Toph reached out and snatched the book from Sokka before plonking it on Katara's lap. "Here Sugar Queen, you read."
"Uh, okay." Katara picked up the book obediently while her brother attempted to murder the blind earthbender by glaring at her, without much success since she didn't seem to be in any discomfort.
when a loud giggle comes from the direction of the door. An equally loud Shhh follows it, accompanied by more giggles. Then Prince Zuko and the waterbender are staggering into the room, holding on to each other and shhh-ing each other and giggling like a couple of hyena-dogs.
"I don't like where this is going," Aang said, a sense of dread creeping over him.
"It's alright Aang, nothing bad's happened yet, and even if it does, it's just a story," Katara reassured her boyfriend, who relaxed after seeing her warm smile.
They stumble around the place, bumping into things and whirling around in sloppy circles. I soon realize that they are attempting to dance, although they've removed all measures of grace from the activity. Never in all of my days have I seen something so whimsical from a male of the royal family. Prince Lu Ten came close with his hooligan tendencies, and perhaps if he'd had a lady friend his antics might have come to this, but I never expected it from Prince Zuko.
"Lu Ten's your uncle's son, right?" Toph asked Zuko. "Iroh once mentioned him before."
Zuko frowned thoughtfully. "That's strange. My uncle rarely talks about Lu Ten anymore."
"Yeah well, your uncle and I are on pretty good terms," Toph grinned. "He did invite me to have tea with him after I attacked him, after all."
"I never knew your cousin had, er, 'hooligan tendencies'," Aang remarked.
Zuko smiled. "Oh, Cousin Lu Ten always had a fun idea or activity to do. I remember how he would play with me and Azula back when we were little."
"You mean back before Azula went crazy?" Sokka asked.
"Yes, back then. I never recalled him having a girlfriend, though."
"A pity. I'm sure he loves drinking tea like his old man. Maybe we could've hung out together," Toph grinned.
"As long as you two aren't trying to dance while spinning around in circles, like Zuko and Katara here," Sokka smirked.
"For the record, I dance pretty well. I had a great time dancing with Aang back then," Katara said before returning to the story, while beside her Aang's cheeks blushed faintly.
They continue to twirl and giggle, nearly displacing a lamp. I send my silent condolence to the poor abused loveseat. Luckily, in all their uncoordinated rollicking they manage to avoid my friend. Instead, they head straight for me. Prince Zuko attempts to dip the waterbender, but he is clumsy in his inebriation and ends up dropping her upon me. She squeals and he is pulled down after her. I feel a shift in weight and he is stroking her face, gazing down at her with a tender expression as he settles his weight more fully over her.
Aang began to squirm uncomfortably. Noticing this, Katara put an arm around him, and he settled down, a hand reaching out to brush Katara's hair as it swung over part of his face.
From the couch beside them, Sokka groaned softly. "Remind me to sit between them and separate them next time we're reading a story," he told Toph.
"I'll try to remember."
I know where this is going.
Prince Zuko whispers words of adoration and longing that have the waterbender pulling his face down to hers. Their lips come together in an eager mesh of lust and sentiment, and when they part, Prince Zuko lays his forehead against hers and they breathe together, the rapid expansion and contraction of their chests pressing against my seat. They make hushed promises to each other. Promises that they will win the war and come back alive and well; that they will never leave each other's side. Right as the girl falls asleep, Prince Zuko whispers that he would die for her.
Zuko looked towards the Avatar. "Aang, I just want you to know that Katara and I are just friends, okay?"
"It's okay, Zuko. I trust you."
"Besides, this is only the second time we've read a story with you and Katara together, right?" Toph pointed out.
"One was more than enough. Still though, I'll just hear the rest of the story, for the sofa's sake." Zuko sat back and said no more.
As an inanimate object, I have heard many confessions not meant for prying ears, but none spoken so resolutely as this one. It is not my place to want or hope, but I will that it never comes to that.
"Actually sofa, your species normally doesn't want or hope at all," Sokka told the book.
"The sofa must be really fond of you Zuko; it doesn't even want you to die for your true love," Toph smirked.
Zuko shrugged. "Always nice to know someone - or something - cares for me."
"I wonder what confessions the sofa had heard before, though?" Sokka thought aloud. "The Fire Nation royal family aren't generally romantically inclined, are they?"
"Who knows?" Zuko replied. "The beach house was built some time after my grandfather became Fire Lord. He could've been sitting together with my grandmother on that sofa, or it might be Uncle and his wife, or even my father and mother, though I don't think that's very likely, or it must have happened a long time ago -"
"Yeah well, compared to listening to you speculating about your family's romantic history, I'd rather listen to the sofa," Toph interjected.
Prince Zuko tumbles off me at some point in the night, and the next morning when they wake, they vocally wonder how it was that they came to be here. They shrug it off with laughter that makes them hold their heads and wince, and after several hours of rest, they return to training the Avatar the same as any other day. They are none the wiser to their midnight engagement. The dark-skinned boy continues to prop his feet on my armrests, the earthbender continues to track dirt onto my cushions, the Avatar continues to bend over my back like a limp fire gummy, the lemur continues to stash paraphernalia under my belly, and the sweet-faced girl continues to partake in less than savory activities with the dark-skinned boy upon my springy surface.
"I'm starting to wonder why the sofa describes Suki as sweet-faced," Toph remarked. "Her face isn't really that sweet."
"My Suki's face is very beautiful, thank you very much."
"Okay, okay, no need to get so worked up about your girlfriend's looks Snoozles. We all know you love her as much as Aang loves Katara, and that's a lot."
"I guess we have another standard for love then: as much as Aang loves Katara," Zuko concluded while the two lovers mentioned blushed furiously.
The next time Prince Zuko and the waterbender sit together, an odd look crosses Prince Zuko's face and he begins to ask, "Did we...?" but then he breaks off and shakes his head, uttering a quick "never mind."
"Ah, the hesitation of first love," Toph grinned. "Nice."
"Not that it'll actually happen, right Zuko?" Katara said as she turned to the scarred teen, who nodded fervently.
"Good, because I don't want to be defending my sis from two guys. One goofy airbender is enough," Sokka deadpanned, while Aang simply smiled sheepishly for his goofiness.
When they finally leave, the house lets out a sigh of relief.
"Never knew a house could sigh," Toph commented.
"But then again, we never knew sofas were capable of musing on their occupants either," Sokka pointed out.
"True."
At last, we can return to our undisturbed state of existence. I do wonder, though, if upon Prince Zuko's next visit the waterbender will be along as well.
"Well, if Zuko's returning to Ember Island any time soon, he'd better bring all of us as well," Toph stated. "I'd love to meet the sofa who thinks my feet are the filthiest thing it's ever met."
"I don't mind hanging out on the beach for a day," Aang said thoughtfully. "We've been so busy after the war, we never really had the chance too go for a vacation."
"That'll be nice," Katara agreed. "A day by the sea with nothing to worry about..."
"No incoming comet, no certain doom for the whole world..." Sokka continued in a dreamy tone.
"It would be perfect," Zuko finished, and Team Avatar all let out a contented sigh.
After a moment of peacefulness, Sokka snapped back to reality. "But in the meantime, who wants another story?" he asked as he picked up the book and started flipping through the pages again.
Ah, a day at the seaside, with nothing but sun and sand and sea and Sekaiichi Hatsukoi manga (never mind if you don't know what that is) - it'd be bliss. Oh well, the Chinese New Year holidays are coming up soon anyway. Thanks to Advocaat for allowing me to feature her sofa friend in the Companion! See you soon!