At precisely twenty-seven minutes past midnight, the knob to their door turned, and Aya came in, looking winded and flushed. She shut the door loudly behind her and tried to look sober.
Aki continued to sit on the futon, his shoulders tight, and his attention seemingly absorbed with the TV.
"I wasn't sure you'd be back tonight," he muttered disgruntledly. She frowned prettily at him, dropping her shoes and coat at the door. There were tiny splotches of wetness on her hair, indicating that it was raining, or given the dropping temperature outside, even snowing.
He didn't say a word about her messiness and had she been in full-possession of her wits, she would've seen the clear signs that he was in a mood.
Alcohol, however, is notorious for dulling senses. Or sense.
She shook out her damp hair, and swayed over to the futon, throwing herself down beside him. He stilled even further, staring hard at the TV.
"It was kinda boring. Rei kept following me around, like a lost little puppy." She shrugged, feeling so loose and warm, despite the snow falling outside. The party sucked, but the jello-shots were lovely. Fruity and sweet, and numbing everything inside her but the present moment. She wanted to sway, so she did just that, humming softly to herself.
"Rei," he said slowly, "I thought we agreed it'd be better if you didn't see him. I thought you said you didn't even like him."
"I don't," she nodded, while still swaying, but Aki was far too upset to be amused by her antics.
There's a quaint phrase: In Vino Veritas. It essentially means, in wine there is truth. Alcohol gets a seriously bad rep. People seemingly change when they drink. But the truth is, all it does is lowers ones inhibitions. So, in essence, it reveals the truth behind all the masks. It makes one act on their thoughts. Their emotions.
It will make you temporarily forget your problems, as Aya was learning. But it will also lower your guard, spill your secrets...make you speak words that you think, but should never say out-loud. Hence, the truth part of the phrase.
"He reminds me of Keitou," she said suddenly, and Aki looked at her in concern, momentarily forgetting to sulk.
'Keitou' was a name that still made him flinch, still flushed rage though his system until he shook with it. A brother of one of their friends, at their fifteenth birthday party, he tried to manipulate them into some suggestive act. Then he had cornered Aya and tried to molest her.
To be honest, that had been the true moment that something in Aki began to suspect a less...familial turn to his emotions. But he had been fifteen, and nowhere near being ready to deal with such realities.
A full year before Ceres emerged. Before the truth about their shared past had been revealed-and something in him had felt smugly justified.
If he let himself, he found an easy scapegoat in fate. That's why he chose not to believe in it, because he knew such belief would poison his actions. What else was one to think when you and your wife of long ago were re-born as twins? An old myth said that twins were reincarnated soulmates. He didn't examine such ideas too closely, because it was all just more fodder for his desires.
"Why do you say that," he demanded, "Aya. Did he do something to you?" His fists clenched at his sides, torn between reaching out to hold her, and reaching out to shake her.
She blinked at that in seeming confusion, then she grinned, lunging forward to cuddle against his arm. "Aki is so sweet!"
He didn't feel 'sweet'. He felt angry and scared, and very uncomfortable with being faced with a happy, cuddly, drunk Aya.
"Aya," he insisted. If that bastard touched her, he was going to kill him. Whether Aya was willing or not, he decided.
She rolled her head back on his shoulder to peer up at him with bright eyes. "Aki?" she mock-intoned.
"Rei," he prompted inflexibly.
She frowned, and there was more than puzzlement swimming in her alcohol-drenched eyes. He just couldn't tell what it was.
She dropped her head, her hair brushing soft against his throat and making him shudder.
"Do you know," she muttered.
His eyebrows slanted, the conversation was shifting again. "Do I know what?" Clearly she was worse when drunk. He didn't think that was possible.
"That is," she struggled, her hand tightening slightly in his sleeve. "Do we..."
Another long moment, and he was still yet to figure out what she was saying. Why was she hesitating? That wasn't like Aya at all. She never hesitated to speak her mind to him.
Until recently, he added dismally, then slowly relaxed. It was no secret that alcohol loosened the tongue, maybe he could finally get her to talk about what was bothering her.
"Aya," a deep breath as he forcefully calmed himself, as he forcefully pushed the business of 'Rei' aside for the moment. "Aya," a gentle, soothing voice. "What has been bothering you lately?"
He saw her head twitch faintly to the left when she heard him, then she sighed. Again, her fingers tightened in his sleeve, this time pulling it down slightly as she drew back.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you..." she murmured.
It was? Because from his side, it had seemed she, herself, had no idea what she was trying to say.
She pulled back enough to tilt her chin up and give him a direct look. She seemed particularly set on holding his eyes. Not understanding her sudden seriousness, but also having never really felt the need to hide his eyes from her, he held her gaze back. Waiting.
"Are you in love with me?"
He blinked. Stared. Felt his breath just stop in his throat.
"I...what?"
"Are you in love with me," she repeated slowly.
He gave her a weak, confused smile. "I love you?"
"No," she suddenly snapped, pushing up to her knees. She swayed slightly, but fisted her hand in his sleeve, steadying herself. "Are you IN LOVE with ME, Aki?"
He opened his mouth and...nothing. Nothing came out, because there was nothing in his head at that moment, but buzzing shock. His skewed collar was biting into the side of his neck, the usually soft material rubbing his skin raw.
Her hand tightened and he flinched, slowly bringing his eyes up to hers. Her face was flushed, her hair damp but wind-blown, tumbling in gold tangles around her shoulders. Snowflakes had melted into darker shades on the edges of her skirt.
"Where are you getting this," he whispered, not able to confirm or deny, or really think beyond reactive thoughts.
She shook her head. "You," she said firmly, but at the same time she wavered on her knees once more. She had to grasp his shoulder to steady herself, and he flinched again, slightly leaning away from her without even thinking about it.
"Do you know? I was at that party, but I couldn't relax. Rei asked if it was because I missed you. did you know? He thinks you're my boyfriend. He said that to me, more than once, and I didn't stop him..."
His breath passed his lips. Hard. And harder.
"I didn't stop him, because I didn't know. You're my brother, Aki. But sometimes...sometimes there's something else there..."
"Aya..." Her name. Not a question. Not an answer. It almost had the taste of something inevitable. It echoed through his body as if it were hollow, as if every last bit of him had been drained away.
Her eyes closed and she took a sharp breath, a tiny shudder passing through her hand as she clumsily gripped his shoulder. "That," she whispered, "That's it." She licked her lower lip, then slowly opened her eyes. "I can still taste it. Every time you say my name."
He swallowed hard, so very confused, but feeling a strange fluttering heat in his stomach. "Taste what?" A hoarse whisper, his fingers at his sides twitched, curving into loose fists , though the part of him that noticed was somehow outside of this moment.
"You," she repeated softly now, with that same destructive honesty. "I thought you were dreaming, and you were. You called for me. I...I shouldn't have looked. A sister wouldn't have looked. Wouldn't have touched. But I wanted to understand you, I wanted to see what you see..."
What was she talking about? He didn't understand.
"And...you taste like Aki. And salt." Her free hand rose, and he noted that it was shaking. She brushed it in strange lines across her cheek, her chin. "I still feel you on me," she whispered, her breath nearly swallowing it.
But his eyes still widened. He slowly turned his head, looked away. Stared into a distant, dark corner, and wondered if this was a dream.
"Aki, are you..."
Because the things she said...it didn't mean what it sounded like...
"In love with...?"
She didn't mean what she was saying...
"...Me?"
Did she? His fingers flexed.
"Aki...Aki?"
[ I would make her mine. ]
His eyes widened further, it was a strangely slow-moved sensation. Strangely numb. Everything around him seemed to be moving at a slower speed, while her words came to him from a great distance, as if they were passing through stone. As if sound had wrapped a wall around him.
Then something happened. Some sort of...gathering inside him, and on his next breath the wall shattered. It didn't fall or break, but seemingly just burst from the inside out. His thoughts were swelling and rushing like a river through his mind, too fast for him to damn, too fast for him to catch. A chattering static of noise that washed over him, dragged him under.
He snapped around, his right hand shooting out to snatch her wrist. He jerked, sending her stumbling with a startled breath and dragged her half-over his thighs. His left hand grasped the back of her neck, and in the next second he was kissing her. Hard and deep, and not at all like he had imagined their first kiss to be. But imaginings were not in his mind, neither were thoughts. All that was, was emotions. And desire, both washing in and out of him in pulses, and sweeping away logic and recriminations, and anything that wasn't the taste and feel of her.
TBC...