Author's Note:

Hi! Here comes Chapter 6. Thank you so much for your reviews, I'm glad you liked the last chapter and hope you're going to like this one, too. Let me know ;)

Thank you, shoppe69, for your incredible help and the time you invest in this story!

xoxo Giuna

Chapter 6

"Elena, what's wrong?" he inquired softly and without the slightest hint of pressure in his voice.

"Wha... what do you mean?" she stuttered insecure, having a clue what he was referring to, but she wasn't able to admit it yet.

"I think that you seem to be afraid of asking me something, as if you're expecting something terrible to happen if you do," he pointed out. Elena started to bite her fingernails nervously. What was she supposed to do? He was right; she was afraid, so afraid! Not only of the reason for her fear, but also of what he was going to think of her when he found out.

"Elena?" he pushed a little and suddenly he wanted to be near her. Not quite sure whether it was a good or a bad idea, he walked over to her to support her, to let her know that he was there for her no matter what. Elena looked up wide-eyed, not understanding why he was coming closer, but before she could take a step backwards he reached for her and took her shaking hands in his strong ones.

"Please open up to me, I really want to help you," Damon whispered down to her, smiling encouragingly. Elena swallowed around the lump in her throat as she gazed into his eyes, searching them for a proof that he was telling the truth. There was nothing but concern in his eyes… maybe he honestly cared.

At this very moment she sensed that it was time to give up her defenses; more so, she really wanted to trust him. She took a deep breath, searching for the right words to express what she had buried deep within her for so long.

"I had to pay, Damon. I hate to ask for anything, because no matter how small my need had been, I always had to pay for it," she explained, not able to hide the disgust in her voice.

"How?" he asked with a blank expression on his face, desperately trying to hide the rage that was boiling up inside him. She stared at him in shock, grinding her teeth.

"I'm sure you know how." Her voice wasn't more than a faint whisper.

"I guess I do, but maybe it's time you say it out loud…," he managed to say calmly.

"I can't, Damon!" she pleaded; louder then.

"Yes, you can, Elena! Say it!"

"NO!"

"Say it!" he screamed at her.

"He raped me! Okay?" she screamed in return as loud as she could, with tears in her brown doe eyes. "For every fucking sip of water he raped me! And it hurt so much, Damon! He just wouldn't stop! He never stopped…" Her voice broke during the last sentence as she cried and sobbed in pain, disgust and embarrassment. Overwhelmed by her emotions, it took some time until she realized that Damon had wrapped his strong arms around her, steadying her shaking body.

"It's okay Elena. Let it out. Let it all out," he soothed her and held her tight to his chest, stroking her back all along.

Hysterically she cried into his chest, fighting for air in-between sobs. Being clueless what to do to calm down, she hugged him back desperately and pulled him even closer against her. But the flood of emotions wouldn't stop crashing down on her; she had said it out loud! For the first time in years she had finally said the words which made it even more real. And it was all her fault! She had been so damn stupid to trust Mason. How the hell could someone be so stupid and naïve? The shame inside of her kept her from breathing and within seconds she needed space; the proximity to Damon not bearable any longer. Crying and screaming she punched against his arms and chest as hard as she could to free herself, but he wouldn't let her go.

"It's all my fault!" she wept for dear life.

"What?" he asked in disbelief.

"It's all my fault!" she breathed out again in despair as her legs collapsed under her from exhaustion.

"I got you!" Damon kept her from falling. He lifted her up into his arms, walked over to his bed and sat down there with Elena on his lap. She was quiet then; staring blankly into the air while her head rested limply against the crook of his neck.

Damon encircled her waist with his arms and gave her some time to collect herself, not least because he needed some time, too. He had expected that it would be horrible, but what just happened boggled his mind outright. Why the hell did she blame herself?

"Elena? How could you even think that?" he dared to ask, feeling her cringing in his embrace. She didn't answer him. She felt so pathetic and definitely not worth his time.

"Elena… answer me, please?" he begged in a soft voice. He was sure that she was wrong. It couldn't be her fault. How could something like that be the victims fault? He didn't get it. And he wanted to convince her of that. She had never spoken to anyone about that before; God knows what had bottled-up in her mind during those two years of living hell. Damon could feel her fresh tears running down his collarbone and soaking his shirt, but she had stopped sobbing. She lay in his arms completely immobile. He opened his mouth to beg her again when she finally spoke again.

"I'm so ashamed of myself, Damon," she admitted in a whisper against his neck. "I'm afraid what you might think of me," she added honestly, wiping away her tears.

"Don't be. I won't judge you," he promised her, crooking his neck aside to get a glimpse on her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, but her face was white as a blanket. Damon swallowed at her sight, unsure what might come next.

It cost her a great effort to give in to him, and it took some time until she was ready to reveal her dark secret. At least it would be out in the open and maybe less painful than it had been during the times she had tortured herself, she thought.

"After my parents died two years ago, I met Mason and granted him willingly access to my life, my house and even my heart. I was too stupid to see through him. Or maybe I just didn't want to. I was so glad that I had someone to lean on. And then it was too late to take action. He isolated me from my friends, kept me hostage in the basement of my own place and started to rip apart my body and soul." Elena stopped at that point, not able to add more details. She could feel Damon's heavy breathing against her side and thought that he was shocked at her stupidity and that he finally understood why she was to blame.

"I still don't get why this should be your fault, Elena," he informed her, just having a hard time to keep his rage under control. He was so extremely mad at this guy Mason.

"Have you listened to me at all?" she asked, but went on anyway. "I allowed him to creep into my life without hesitation. I practically welcomed him with open arms, without realizing what kind of an asshole he was. Of course it was my fault!" she hissed at him, angry that he didn't want to understand her. Damon tried to gather himself before he answered. It wasn't easy for him to control the emotions running high inside him and he didn't want to let his rage at Mason hit Elena.

"Elena, you felt alone. You had just lost the anchor of your life, your parents. Of course you were happy that there was somebody and sure as hell you didn't hesitate to welcome him into your life. You had been in pain, grieving and in despair and he took full advantage of that. He must be completely fucked up!" he ranted and wasn't able to stop himself from cursing during his last sentence. He just hoped that he finally got through to her.

Elena remained quiet; letting his words sink in to her wounded soul, but she still wasn't fully convinced. Could it really be that simple? Could this really be a way out of the guilt which had consumed her so badly?

"I'm not sure if I can use the loss of my parents as an excuse for my naivity," she told him quietly and avoided to look into his eyes. "What would they think of me? That's not how they raised me," she finished, not able to suppress new tears while she thought of her parents whom she still missed so much.

"Maybe not, but I'm pretty sure they didn't prepare you for their early death either. Besides, nobody acts rationally after losing beloved family members or friends for that matter. And I know what I'm talking about. I lost pretty much everybody I had. So yes, Elena, you can absolutely take the loss of your parents as an excuse for your behaviour. And to answer your other question; I assume that they would feel very sorry for what happened to you and that they would wish nothing on you but to find the happiness which you definitely deserve," he finished his speech, wiping the tears off her soaked face.

"You really think so?" she wept once more and finally she felt something like redemption flowing into her shattered soul.

"Yes Elena, I really do. And so should you. It wasn't your fault!"

"It's so hard to believe, I felt it for so long," she admitted silently, not sure what else to say. She had truly believed that she was the one to blame. How was she supposed to just give up on that conviction?

"I understand, but Elena, if you ever want to recover you have to believe that it is true," he stressed the last words to reassure her one more time. "Otherwise I'm not sure if you will ever be able to move on," he added with sadness in his voice and a pained expression on his face.

"You're right Damon. I wouldn't be able to recover or to move on, but so far the thought never crossed my mind." Her words and the crestfallen expression on her face made his still heart ache in a way he hadn't experienced ever before.

"Don't say that, Elena. You will be able to live your life again. It may take some time, but one day you will notice that you have just stopped thinking about it. We will find a way. I promise!" His tender words sounded heavenly and she wanted to believe them so badly, but it was too soon.

"Can't you just make me forget?" she wanted to know, her words filled with hope as she remembered his ability to mess with her mind. He gave her an ironic smirk, but she couldn't grasp the reason.

"I'm sorry Elena, I can't. The side effect of being my blood-slave is that you may consider yourself lucky to be out of my reach when it comes to compulsion," he updated her unhappily.

"That sucks!" she whined, feeling deprived of an easy way to escape her memories.

"Besides, I'm not sure if I would have been successful. Even when I tried before the blood exchange, you have accomplished to resist my compulsion, remember? That was pretty impressive!" he complimented her, trying to lead their conversation into another direction.

"Yeah, that's all me!" she joked and smiled at him, thankful that he changed the subject.

"Look who is all cocky now," he teased her; genuinely happy to see her smile again.

"I'm not and you know it," she said casually. "But guess what I still am?"

"Um, hungry?" he assumed while he listened to the angry growl of her stomach.

"Exactly! Actually, I'm starving. I didn't eat anything since we met," she realized just then.

"Damn it Elena. I'm sorry! I'm a total douche. I should have thought about it the night before! C'mon, get ready and then we'll leave to get you something to eat and to wear," he suggested and shoved her off his lap.

Already packed with lots of bags and still sated from the breakfast at Starbucks, Damon and Elena strolled through the crowded streets of New York. The noise and the rush of the vivid city was something Elena wasn't used to. She had never experienced something like that before, since Waterville was nothing but a sleepy little town. Just after a short while, she had to admit that she really started to like the colorful city, which seemed to be full of fantastic opportunities. Wherever she turned her head, her wide eyes couldn't stop staring. Especially the giant skyscrapers rising up into the clear blue sky caught her gaze over and over again. Standing by a red traffic light, she once again tilted her head back to take in the impressive view when she suddenly got dizzy due to the illusion that the building was shaking. Unintentionally, she stumbled against Damon's chest and faced him.

"Whoa, there!" he grinned at her, glad that she had loosened up for the last couple of hours. He enjoyed seeing the excitement sparkling in her eyes.

"Oops. I'm sorry," she shrugged and smiled brightly at him, their faces only inches away from one another In a fraction of a second, their eyes locked and although the traffic light changed to green and the flood of people continued its way, they stood there, immobile. Elena's smile faded slowly as she dived into Damon's blueness that was his eyes, not capable of looking away. She could feel the intense tension between them increasing, together with the heat that radiated from their bodies.

Damon felt her hands digging into his hard chest and her warm breath, which caressed his face, let him swallow hard. He was mesmerized by the way she invaded his eyes and how the expression on her face slowly changed from just smiling into longing. If he hadn't been packed with all the bags, he gladly would have pulled her even closer to him.

Elena wasn't thinking straight anymore, captured in this moment and… in his eyes… she turned off her mind which had screamed at her to back off. She blocked out their surroundings, she was only capable of sensing his body close to hers and that it felt good… and… right. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand to stroke the crook of his neck softly, closing the remaining distance between them inch by inch.

Damon's lips parted slightly while he relished the way Elena's warm hand slide over his cool skin as his own desire washed over him. He needed her lips on his and it cost him all his willpower to stay put. He knew he had to wait until she was ready to kiss him.

Elena closed her eyes when their lips where only apart by a hairbreadth. She parted her lips, getting lost in the feeling of excitement and lust which danced deep inside her belly. But then... everything stopped. Another feeling dislodged the wonderful sensation she had just experienced for the first time in her life. A feeling that send cold and piercing shivers up and down her spine.

She froze in the motion, tilting her head away from Damon only to press her body as close against him as possible.

"Wha…What's wrong Elena?" Damon asked dumbfounded at the abrupt end of their almost kiss.

"I think he's here!" she said terrified as a rush of adrenaline chased through her system.

"Wait, who are you talking about?" he asked confused while his body still attempted to process the massiv change of the situation.

"Mason! I'm talking about Mason!" she whispered against his chest, trying frantically to shield her body from the eyes she still felt piercing her back like a sharp razor.

"What? Where is he?" Damon asked eagerly, searching their vicinity for a conspicuous looking guy, letting the bags drop onto the ground.

Oh yeah, he would love to meet this bastard!

"I don't know, I haven't seen him, but I can sense that he is observing me. How did he find me so quickly? He wasn't supposed to find me at all! And he is furious, Damon. He saw us, he saw I was about to ki…," she bit her lip to stop herself from finishing the sentence.

"Elena, please calm down…," Damon started, holding her at her shoulders as her voice reached an insane pitch, but Elena didn't hear him.

"He is going to kill me, Damon!" She screeched and started to hyperventilate. "He is so jealous. And seeing me with another guy right after I escaped him...Oh no, no, no… Please! That can't happen. He will get me…Oh my God he will get me and then he will rip me apart, right after ra…"

"ELENA!" Damon thundered while he shook her shoulders. She gasped erratically as she gazed at him wide-eyed, angst written all over her face. He stared back at her, holding her gaze to get through to her.

"Please calm down. Believe me; he isn't going to hurt you ever again! I'm here and I'm not letting him anywhere near you. Don't forget that I'm a vampire, Elena. I might behave civilized around you, but that doesn't mean that I really am. If anybody will be ripped apart, then it is definitely going to be him," Damon promised her and witnessed her eyes grew even wider as his harsh words sank in.

She felt intimidated by his threat, even though it wasn't directed at her; actually quite the opposite was the case. However, seeing his rage on his face reminded her all too well of their encounter two days ago. She realized that it was happening again.

All over again she trusted an obviously dangerous man! And not only trusted him but kind of fell for him, too! She would never learn her lesson, would she? But then she shook her head in disbelief. Her mind was messing with her heart once more. Damon had proven to her that he could be trusted and his murderous expression was another proof to her. He might be dangerous, but he would use his strength to protect her and not only to save his own life, as she had thought at first, but also to make hers worth living again. It would have been more than easy for him to throw her in a basement and to feed from her whenever he needed to. But he hadn't and that meant everything to her.

"Elena?" Damon interrupted her thoughts, desperately trying to interpret the flood of emotions flickering over her face.

"Yes?" she asked, not knowing what else to say while she still dealt with her previous realization.

"Are you okay?" he wanted to know, still not able to figure her out.

"Yes, I think so." She nodded to emphasize her words.

"Can you still sense him?" Damon was panting for her answer. He had no objections to rip Mason apart right now.

"No, I can't. I guess he's gone," she said after concentrating on sensing the creepy feeling once more.

"Too bad," he declared disappointed. "Well, I think we should go home then, how do you feel about it?"

"Yeah, let's go… home," she tried the word on her tongue. It didn't feel too bad. "But not before looting a grocery store, ok?" she joked, surprised about herself. It was totally unlike her, but in Damon's company she was able to make a full recovery from a mature panic attack within minutes. She even managed to stand the knowledge that Mason might be less than 200 feet away from her. How odd was that?

Back in the apartment, Elena unpacked the bags and put all her new clothes on top of the giant bed while Damon prepared dinner for them. He had also eaten breakfast with her. Actually, she had thought that vampires didn't do human food… Huh?

She realized that she didn't know much about him and planned to ask him during dinner. While she looked down on all the beautiful clothes he had bought for her, her thoughts drifted back to their shopping trip.

Damon had been very kind and understanding, so it had been out of question that he would pay for all the things they had chosen. And that had been a lot. They had started with the "basics" as he had called it, like a couple of skinny jeans, shorts, shirts, tops, cardigans, blouses, dresses and some light jackets. She had been stunned while Damon hadn't stopped picking more and more clothes for her. Hello? Two outfits would have been totally fine with her. But he had insisted on buying it all.

"Don't worry about the money. I don't!" he had winked at her with a grin all over his face. The problem was that her parents had taught her to be modest and to not take prosperity for granted. Therefore she had hesitated to just grab whatever she had liked while roaming the first boutique they had entered.

"It appears to me that you kinda need a fast healing of brooding over the money," he had blurted out from right behind her as he had watched her gazing shocked at the price label of a beautiful midnight blue strapless dress, before he had took it off the clothing rail.

"C'mon," he had pushed her gently to the cash desk, his hand never leaving the small of her back. She had swallowed while his touch had caused a tingle running in circles round and round her body, like the effect of a tiny explosion.

She pinpointed this moment to be the first time her body had responded to him without the gene's influence.

At first she had been tempted to fight the feeling when her mind told her that she couldn't be ready to let another man anywhere near her, touching her, making her feel this way. Only that Damon's hand on her back felt nothing like she had experienced so far and her mind lost its cause instantly. She gave in to the sensation of his soft touch. She hadn't been sure if Damon had noticed the shift in her caused by the longing, but when they reached the cash desk, he had smiled at her with shining eyes. She had looked away quickly, too shy to let him know for sure what had been going on inside her.

She really must be a total mess in his eyes, she thought. A minute ago she had been sitting on his lap, crying out her eyes over the way she had been raped and suddenly the slightest touch of him made her lady parts act up. Something must be totally wrong with her, or maybe she desperately craved to feel something that could fix her violated soul, she thought.

Their next destination had been Manolo Blahniks and yes, Damon had been successful in healing her money issue. She had totally fallen for a pair of midnight blue high heels and some black, skinny knee-high boots and Damon had gladly paid $2,000 without even blinking.

Holding said high heels in her hands she still couldn't believe that she now owned two pairs of Manolo Blahniks. She removed the price labels from her new clothes, folded them tidily and arranged them in her part of Damon's closet, which was luckily big enough for the two of them. When she reached the heaps of her new underwear, she froze in the motion.

Before she and Damon had entered Victoria's Secrets, she had felt a lump down in her stomach. Victoria's Secrets? Seriously? But she had been too much of a coward to voice her doubts. Besides, Damon had behaved like the perfect gentleman, staying in the background and letting her chose what she wanted to buy.

Only once he had said something to her and unfortunately, it had been the absolutely worst thing he could've said.

"Those with the front clasps are right over there," he had informed her, tilting his head mischievously in the direction of the bras. When he saw the shattered expression on her face, he had instantly regretted opening his mouth.

"I have said something wrong, haven't I?" he had asked carefully, trying to catch her gaze. She had sighed heavily before she had been able to answer.

"Mason loved those bras and therefore I hate them," she had said sharply, the loathing in her voice almost palpable.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry Elena. It wasn't my intention to remind you of that," he had sincerely apologized.

"It's okay, I guess. He has always brought me stuff which made me feel like a cheap whore. Just like these," she pointed at her shorts and tank top she had been forced to wear again since she hadn't had an alternative. "I'm just glad that I can choose all by myself now." She had smiled at him, probably more thankful than he could ever imagine.

"Well, why don't you change now?" he had suggested with a smile on his face.

"You're right! I could do that, couldn't I?" she had asked excited.

"Absolutely. May I suggest the pretty blue dress?" His smile still plastered on his face.

"Don't you think that would be too much? I mean, we're just on a shopping trip…"

"Nope, because we're on a shopping trip in New York City. The words "too much" don't exist here, believe me," he had reassured her, already fumbling for the bag with the dress in it.

"Ok. But not without my new high heels." She had beamed at him like a little girl on Christmas Eve.

"No question. There you go," he had replied, handing her the dress and the shoes.

After she had found a beautiful strapless bra and the matching panties, which had the exact same colour like the dress, she had entered one of the changing cubicles to try all the new bras and panties on. She hadn't picked out the ultra seductive garments, but the lingerie she had chosen for herself made her feel a little prettier nonetheless.

When she had finished trying on everything, she had kept the strapless bra and slipped into the dress and the Manolo´s. Examining her own appearance in the floor-length mirror, she had gasped in disbelief. She really looked different; somehow graceful, more grown-up and definitely not cheap anymore. She had smiled brightly at herself in the mirror before she had left the changing cubicle to find Damon. Although she wasn't used to those high heels, she had accomplished to walk quite comfortably and stable. She moved around the shelving of the store over to where Damon had been standing with his back to her.

"Hey there, I'm ready," she had informed him, tipping his shoulder with her fingertip.

He had turned around while putting his Iphone back into the pocket of his jeans and had frozen at her sight.

"Elena, wow… you look… stunning," he had complimented her with his mouth hanging open.

"Thank you, Damon," she had managed to answer shyly to the first compliment she had received in a very, very long time.

After the lingerie shopping, she had tossed all of her old clothes forcefully into a nearby trashcan. It was a simple act, but for her it had felt like the first step towards her inner freedom.