Hallo!

'Sup guys?

52 reviews! I'm so exited!

Thank U all so much, really, that is what gives me strength to write this story :)

Well, there was a little problem with the last chapter – so, I'm telling you now (and sorry about that) that it's name was CHAPTER 11 – NIGHTMARE

L U ALL GUYS!

Keep on R&R plz! XPXP

Chapter 12 – without tears

"What do you mean by that?" Edward whispered at me.

I acted like I didn't hear him and turn the volume up to max. Edward got quite at the minute he understood which movie I put in.

At the end of the movie, I wanted to cry.

Not because of Julia, that killed her self because of a stupid misunderstanding, nor because Romeo killed himself full with guilt and torment. I wanted to cry because I understood I never, ever had, have or will have anyone like that.

I have no one.

But you already knew that! I started to yell at myself mentally. "It's so sad." I choked on my words. "But… I envy them -Romeo especially."

"And why is that?" Edward asked me, and I noticed his hand was too close to my lifted leg – I set it on the floor, and looked at the empty screen as I talked.

I don't know what came into me – I spoke from a dark corner of my brain. But I talked, and talked quietly and genuinely. "It's so easy for him to kill himself – a little Herbal Pharmacy, a few drops from a strong poison – and his dead." Edward looked at me wide-eyed, I saw him from my peripheral vision. "I'm familiar with the feeling of not having anyone, feel like a suicide can solve all of your problems – but in his case, suicide was the right move to do; because he lost his life. I lost mine before I even…" I stopped talking, afraid I might start to sob in front of him. I was not willing to be the little-pity-pet of Edward Cullen.

"Why would you even think of something like that?" Edward asked me with his big, dazzling eyes. But something in his voice told me he considered it as well.

"I already told you," I tried to sound strong, but it didn't worked so well – and by that, I mean didn't worked at all. "I… I have no one." Before I even understood what's happening, Edward held me in a tight embrace, and I buried my face into his chest.

He had this smell, this fucking dazzling smell, that torturous, amazing, mouthwatering smell….

Every breath I took in made me burn inside with longing, yearning, pain, anger and… desire.

Delete, Lizzy! Delete this last one, right one! The voice in my head scream as loud as it could.

But I just couldn't.

I missed him so much…

He patted on my back reassuringly, whispering sweet words in my ear;

"It's Ok, Lizzy. It's Ok. Everything will be alright, Lizzy. It'll all be alright."

I moved and tried to get out of his embrace, trying to put myself together. I was so not going to tell him who I am… right?

Righ!t

I'd kill myself before I'd tell him anything !

Dance on his guilt, Lizzy, dance on his conscience!

What should I say?

Say what you want – say that you're dead.

WHAT?!

Say it! Come on, baby Bells, say it!

I can't hurt him that much…

Bella Swan, do it. C'mon, do it!

"She's dead," my voice came out lifeless, and before I even knew what I was doing, I said. "She looked so young, so powerful – always too cold, not eating anything… I thought she was anorectic, but she was so… so essential." My voice cracked and Edward became immobile as a stone. He understood who I was talking about.

I started to sob. "Wh-what happened next?" he asked in a small voice, and it looked like he's afraid to hear the answer for his question.

Under the belt, Bella! Kick him in his most tender place!

"Everything in my life was fine – ya know, fine without my dad," I whiffed. "Until one day she was gone, just like that. In the day after her disappearance, an officer came to our home and said that… that they found her, up the mountains. She was… found in pieces. Someone tore her into shreds, and burned them afterwards. Someone turn her into a freaking pile of ash!" I screamed.

Man, I should be an actress.

I think that-that was the moment in which Edward started crying without tears.

But...

Why?

Hope u guys like it!

L ya all 3

Till the next time –

Keep chuckle!