"Please Jennifer, help me" Lilly whimpered from her pain ridden position, strung to the ceiling of the cave by the chain wrapped around her wrists.

Jennifer dragged her arms under her and pushed herself off the ground but moments later she crashed back in a cloud of dust, panting with the effort. The dust tickled the back of her throat as she lay discarded on the dirt floor but her mouth was already so dry she couldn't swallow it away. Her eyes fluttered shut in defeat, a tear escaping as she listened to the pain-filled moans from her maimed friend.

Lilly screamed and Jennifer raised her head enough to see as a delicate hand reached around her and drew a ribbon of red across her chest

"No, please don't hurt her!" Keller cried from the floor, knowing any pleas would go unheeded but was too broken to do anything more. She watched as Lilly writhed and tugged against her chains pointlessly. The woman-child finally skipped off, apparently finished for the day and the two men bracketing the exit stepped forward with wide grins.

Her eyes never left the Boss's face as he yelled questions while his two lackeys beat her, and then, when it finally seemed like this round was over and they were to be left in peace he looked at Jennifer and with a vicious glint in his eye said "you've already listened to her being fed to my dogs once" her stomach dropped and she fought not to be sick "do you really think you're-"

"Don't do it Jennifer" a wavering voice spoke from behind him

"Shut Up!" he spun and shouted before turning back to Jennifer.

"Do you really think you're strong enough to make the same choice again?"

"please Jennifer, just let him"

"Listen to her scream as the teeth-"

"Please stop" Lilly begged

"tear into her? It took longer that even I expected the first time-" nausea swirled through Jennifer

"just kill me you bastard" Lilly growled

"and there was so much blood" he closed his eyes as if remembering a particularly fond moment "You're a doctor-"

"Jennifer, don't!"

"you can imagine how much blood was spilt over the dirt"

"stop it!" but Lilly's voice was all but drowned out by the roaring in her ears

"but the noise, oh the noise" he licked his lips

"no!"

"She cried like a-"

"don't you-"

"bitch, ironic"

"I'll do it!" Jennifer screamed "I'll tell you what you want!" and everything went silent

Jennifer woke curled up in a ball, sheets bunched around her feet and her hands pressed against her ears but moments later she flew out of bed, took the handful of steps to her bathroom and was promptly and violently sick.

Once Jennifer had emptied her stomach of her dinner and then some she shakily made her way back to her room and stared at her bed with trepidation "maybe I should take a walk" it took her a few minutes to dig out her trainers but soon she was on the other side of her door and walking aimlessly down the corridors, for once not rushing anywhere or caught up in a discussion and nearly oblivious to her surroundings.

The city was actually pretty... in a linear, green, metallic sort of way but there was only so much green wall and glowing control panel that she could see before her mind started to drift

"Jennifer?" A soft voice spoke from the corridor to her left "I do not usually see you at this hour"

Jennifer turned and smiled at Teyla "I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep" Keller ignored Teyla's expression of knowing sympathy, she couldn't handle a heart to heart right now "thought a walk to clear my head would be wise" she looked around her a little lost "but now that I'm out here I don't really know what to do with myself"

Teyla stepped forward and linked arms with her, every movement slow and gentle. Jennifer's eyes filled ever so slightly at her thoughtfulness, her skittishness was the most difficult thing to deal with "I will join you for a walk to the eastern pier and then we can grab an early breakfast at the canteen" she looked over at Jennifer's grateful expression "you are better company than the others, the men tend to be too talkative unless its Ronon, he's just tense, particularly at the moment" she finished with a murmur.

Jennifer opened her mouth to ask why they would be awake at this hour to join Teyla in her pre-dawn stroll "you are not the only one whose sleep is affected by what they experience off world"

With that revelation the two woman wound their way through the quiet city, nodding greetings when they happened across another soul, usually heading to their beds rather than from them but the two women moved in silence, both trying to draw calm strength from the other, from the city its self, from the knowledge that they were in the company of friends.

Eventually they found themselves in the cafeteria, both lost in their own thoughts as they lent against the wall, table between them and cups of tea cooling on its surface.

This was how Ronon and Sheppard found them at 0800 when they joined them for breakfast who struck up a light conversation and allowed Jennifer to relax in the company of her friends and be lulled into a feeling of security. Everything would be alright, she could deal with this. She was a doctor after all, who better to know if there was something wrong with her?

"Jennifer?" Rodney asked from the seat opposite her "have you heard a word I've said?" she looked startled and her rolled his eyes "I ran into Nicky, your head nurse? She said to tell you you're about to be late for a meeting"

Jennifer looked at her watch to find it not there "Damn" she exclaimed and jumped up "sorry guys I'll see you all later"

"Sure" Sheppard called after her, exchanging a glance with Ronon "I'll swing by the infirmary and pick you up at 1"

She rolled her eyes at the doors in front of her and waved her hand in acknowledgement.

Stupid boys don't think I can look after myself

Darkness swirled in her dreams, unclaimed voices and soft giggles that set her teeth on edge but nothing threatened her, nothing jumped out, no dogs or fists or knives and yet Jennifer could help tensing at every new sensation-

A hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her dark dreams in into reality, her head flying up to look wildly around

"woah woah woah, sorry doc" her eyes flew to Sheppard wheeling back trying to give her space as she readjusted

"Sheppard" she croaked, noticing that she was in her office at her desk, her face, until moments ago, pressed against the paperwork she was filling out. She cleared her throat "what are you doing here?"

He raised an eyebrow "lunch remember? How long have you been asleep?" his concern annoyed Jennifer and she stood up so she didn't have to look up at him

"we've just had breakfast john, why are you bugging me?"

"Jen it's 1pm" he looked her up and down, noticing the draw expression under her fading bruises "are you all right?"

Jen sighed and turned to get her jacket from the back of her chair "yes john I'm fine" only a tiny twinge of guilt at the lie "I just didn't get much sleep last night. Shall we?"

John stepped back and allowed her to go first, Jen wondered if he was aware that he walked a step behind her when he felt protective and from the reaction of the people who walked towards them she guessed his expression was what cause then to give nothing more than a quick greeting.

Lunch was loud, even with Ronon scaring away some researchers so they could have the table in the corner. It took Jennifer a couple of minutes to realise that Ronon and John had worked together to get her the table with her back to the wall and although she was grateful for the added security she now felt, the fact that they knew she needed it meant her mask was slipping. Damn it. Rodney kindly confirmed this when he sat down across from her with his laden tray "you look like hell, been up all night again doing paperwork?"

Jennifer glared at him "thank you Rodney, no" damn, she thought, that would have been a good excuse "I just couldn't seem to get comfortable so I didn't sleep well" Liiiiie, time for a change of topic "how is the cooling system going?"

Rodney turned an odd shade of pink and she looked at Sheppard when he laughed/choked on his coffee "did you hear?" he asked her "it turns out the monkeys with wrenches weren't the problem" he grinned at her "Rodney here had messed with a couple of the systems and accidentally altered the climate control units from 18 degrees Celsius to negative 18 degree Celsius"

"It was an easy mistake to make" Rodney said trying to save his pride "and for the record those monkeys made a 10 minute job into a 2 day one"

"Damn those monkeys" Jennifer managed to exclaim before joining the rest of the table in howling with laughter. Ooh that felt good.

Once the mirth died down and Rodney stopped blushing and stammering Teyla patted him on the arm and turned to Jennifer "Ronon tells me you've accepted his offer to teach you how to use his hand to hand fighting to protect yourself"

Jennifer's smile dropped as she remembered that yes, she had actually agreed to that "err I guess, I'm still not sure I could umm fight like that" she realised her excuse sounded lame but telling them she didn't want to have someone she liked try to hit her because she was afraid of her own reactions was a little too personal "it just goes against everything I've been taught as a doctor" that at least, sounded believable

Teyla's offers to assist her in transition from their light sparing sessions with a evening of hand to hand to help her confidence was politely declined as she rose and explained that she had an appointment with one of the doctors.

That each of them bid her farewell and caught her eye before she left raised her spirits, those people back there were her family, they bickered amongst themselves, teased and insulted but the moment one of them was threatened the rest were at their back and willing to do anything to protect them and it seemed that she had been adopted by them, her fear of being an outsider now seeming a little silly however with her recent dramas old fears were beginning to resurface and she struggled to remain confident in her friends acceptance of her.

She sighed and turned the corner into the infirmary smiles as a few of the staff greet and wave at her from across the room "Jennifer" Nicky, the head nurse beckons her over to one of the few private rooms "Here's your gown" she hands over a bundle of green fabric "I'll be right back, we'll have a look at you and get you away from here as soon as possible" she winked and sashayed over to the doctor she's been trying to chat up for the past couple of months whose eyes widened in something akin to fear. The weekly med girls coffee group know every sordid detail of this chase. Poor man.

It takes all of 5 minutes to strip and change while she tried to ignore the fact that she hated wearing a gown and hadn't in fact, for over 10 years

"oh good" Nicky exclaimed when she peeked to see if she was ready "lets check over your arm first, have you been having any problems with it?" she asked as she checked the strength of the fingers and for any pain with movement

"nothing too bad, I now get an ache when it's cold but other than that its been fine" she tried not to react when Nicky's cool fingers tickled the inside of her elbow "I can't exactly complain though, that machine is amazing, the breaks healed twice as fast as it should have and all I have to deal with is a little less energy and bruises that last langer than they should"

Nicky pursed her lips at the mention of the medical equipment in use that had been discovered throughout Atlantis, her dislike for it had been obvious from the start but with no ill effects from any of the previous patients Jennifer had had no problem with using it. She accepted the silent disapproval with a smile "everything seems to be going well" Nicky said cheerfully "you know not to lift anything too heavy, no over doing it..." she looked sceptical "then again you are a doctor"

Jennifer stuck out her tongue and lay down as Nicky moved to check her hip, luckily there seemed to be no complications and she was prompted to lie on her stomach "so how's your pursuit of Mark going?" Jennifer asked trying to take her mind off the injuries her friend had to inspect "he doesn't seem to be warming to you"

"Yet" Nicky said with obvious intent and parted her robe so she could inspect her back. If there was one thing she liked about Nicky it was that she didn't hiss in sympathetic pain or comment on how horrible it must have been. She was cool and calm and clinical about it

"Well love, everything seems to be healing nicely, there's a patch over here" she placed her hand lightly over Jennifer's left kidney "which still has a little way to go"

the jolt of pain as the woman-child's tongue ran across the open wounds on her lower back Jennifer flinched at the sharp memory

"But over all things are looking good. When you pop into work tomorrow I'll run a strength test on your arm, a final nerve conduction and then you'll be clear for physical duty" Nicky patted her shoulder and asked her to sit up

Jennifer groaned and dragged herself upright "in the weeks I've been off duty we haven't found a machine to remove scar tissue have we?" she asked jokingly

Nicky frowned "no" she said in a clipped voice and stepped forward to stand directly in front of Jennifer, one hand holding her chin as she checked over her fractured cheekbone, a probe and a couple of questions proved that, aside from the still fading bruises, it was healed.

She stepped back and handed Jennifer her clothes "you coming to coffee tomorrow? Marie's shouting us all a cuppa this week" Nicky's grin was evident

"So, you won the bet did you?" Jennifer chuckled and wiggled into her dress pants "Doctor Ellis has agreed to a date?"

"He has" she said, grin growing to painful proportions "they're having dinner together on Friday. I knew she'd get him eventually"

Jennifer shook her head "he didn't really have a choice did he"

"Nope" she said with obvious glee.