Jennifer looked up from tying her shoe lace as the curtains around her bed were pulled aside by Nicky. "I have good news and I have bad news." she said holding the results of her final medical test.

"Good news please."

"Well, all your tests are clear, your arm is a little weak but functional, your back is progressing as expected and your bloods are clean. I now pronounce you fit for light active duty."

Jennifer grinned before remembering "And what's the bad news?"

"I've just dumped a whole load of files on your computer that need to be checked and signed off on before tomorrow." she grinned "Welcome back Doctor Keller."

Jennifer struck her tongue out as she hopped off the bed "Gee, thanks, I'll get right on that."

"Jen before you step out of the curtains and become my boss again I need to make sure, you are going to take it easy right? You went through a hell of-"

"I'm fine" Jennifer said with more force than she had meant to "Really, I am and work will keep me busy enough to keep my head on straight." She just smiled when Nicky tried to make her promise to take it slow and stepped out of the curtains.

Things were going to get better now.

It took Jennifer until the end of her shift to realise something of great (wonderful, fantastic, joyful) importance and it was only discovered after she had agreed to take the rest of the night off.

Coffee! Coffee that she was now allowed to drink, coffee that could wake her up in the mornings, make her happy in the afternoons and be tasty and relaxing in the evening (She was still in denial about her addiction).

It took a bit of speed walking and a sweet smile followed by a plea to get coffee at this time from the cafeteria but Jennifer managed to have a steaming mug in front of her when she sat down to meet her new therapist.

"Today isn't really about digging deep or making you face any fears, it takes a while for trust to be earned. I was hoping that we could do a very calm, basic walk through of the days you were held captive to give me a base line." Dr Grant was a kind looking older man with glasses and greying hair but all Jennifer wanted to do was hit him. How was reliving the worst days of her life going to be basic and calm?

"Sure." she said with a smile, all I want to do is run away from my memories screaming and hide in a small corner where reality will never find me again, "Where would you like to start?" shut up mouth, shut up, shut up, shut up! "I was at the village in their medical hut when I heard…"

The session went relatively well, Jennifer managed to keep the descriptions detailed enough for the doctor while crushing any emotions that tried to rise. Dr Grant watched her as she walked him through her pain and frustration, asked few questions and merely thanked her and scheduled another appointment before letting her leave. Jennifer had had to leave her half full cup of coffee on the table because she couldn't pick it up without revealing the tremor in her hands. She held Dr Grant personally responsible for her loss.

With her head in the clouds from a successful session and the knowledge that she was free for the rest of the night Jennifer missed Joe The Scientist with his head bent over his tablet working to the deadline Zelenka had set him.

The collision was spectacular; Joe had raised his tablet to read a particularly small number string and Jennifer was walking with something akin to a skip in her step. Neither saw the other, neither knew what had hit them and neither could work out what the probability was that the corner of the raised tablet was at the exact height of Jennifer's left eye.

Observed by only one military personnel and a nurse they looked on in horror as Jennifer flattened herself against the wall and hunched up in defense or an unseen foe, fear written across her face.

One minute Jennifer was walking down the corridor of Atlantis and the next moment she was sprawled on her back, pressed against a dank rock wall with pain bursting from her eye.

Where were they? She couldn't see the Brutes in the dark of the cave but they had to be near, their laughter still echoed around her.

"Dr Keller?" a voice in the distance called her.

"Now, now, wildcat, don't just sit there." a foot swung out of the dark and she scrambled out of the way just before it connected with her head "RUN!" one of them bellowed and she whimpered in fear.

"Dr Keller? Why don't-" a gentle hand landed on her shoulder and she shrieked.

"Please no, no, no, nonononononono." Lieutenant Samuels watched as the doctor covered her head with her arms and shrank even further into the corner of the corridor.

"Ok, ok, Dr Keller." he said, hands combing through his cropped hair as his mind raced, this was so not what he was trained for. Trying to sound authoritative and gentle (trying to sound like Colonel Sheppard if he was honest) "I need you to look at me Jennifer." he held up his hands and knelt in front of her, ignoring nurse Nicky who was clearing the crowd with harsh words and open threats of violence at the gawkers during their next physical "Jennifer, you're on Atlantis, you're safe." the arms lost some of their tension "That's it, you're safe, can you look at me?"

Jennifer sat huddled into the dark, her panicked breath coming fast enough to force little whimpers from her, please not again, I can't do this again, I'm not strong enough, I'm going to die.

"Jennifer, please look at me."

"No." she manages to whisper. Talking to the voices in the shadows is never a good idea and the men with fists and heavy boots might come back. Deep laughter echoes from the darkness again and Jennifer sobs, bracing for the onslaught that doesn't arrive "Where are you?" she managed to ask.

"Right in front of you."

Jennifer uncurled cautiously and peered into the darkness waiting for the steel capped boots to come at her. Kneeling in the darkness, blurry around the edges, was lieutenant Samuels with his hands raised and a worried frown on his face "What are you doing here?"

"Dr Keller you're-" he cut off when she grabbed him by the shoulders

"Get out! Run before they find you!"

"No Dr Keller, you don't understand you're-" Jennifer tried to shove him towards the cave entrance but he spun her and wrapped his arms around her middle trapping her arms at her sides

"What are you doing?! Lieutenant, you need to get out of here, they'll find you and they'll-" her voice was choked off when her struggling caused the arms to tighten

"Dr Keller, you're in Atlantis, you're safe and you're home. We got you back."

Jennifer caught a memory of seeing Ronon and Sheppard, Teyla and Rodney standing around her grave "Atlantis?" the cave walls blurred and the damp smell receded.

"Yes." a strained voice came from behind her "Dr Keller if I let go will you freak out?"

"No." she whispered as the corridor swam into view. The arms around her relaxed and she caught herself against the wall as her legs threatened to give out. "I'm sorry lieutenant." she said in a small voice as she turned around "and Nicky." she said noting detachedly the death stares Nicky was giving to every passerby, "I'm fine." they both looked at her in disbelief "Please." she said, pulling away from the Lieutenant when he reached out a steadying hand as she shuffled past "Really I'm ok, I just had a flashback because." she touched her swelling eye, remembering the cause of it all "Where did he go?"

"I sent him to the infirmary." Nicky spoke up, her voice firm and soft, never was Jennifer more grateful for her than at this moment, "He got a bloody nose and seems terrified someone's going to exact revenge on your behalf."

"That's redic…" Jennifer paused and rethought "Please assure him that he is safe, I will make certain those two understand the situation and how I would feel about him being punished." she sighed tiredly and wrapped her shaking arms around her middle "I'm… I'm going to go now. Thank you for… this." Jennifer walked away with her head low, trying (and failing) to not make it look like she was fleeing.

Nicky silenced Lieutenant Samuels' protests and watched her boss shuffle away as if she hadn't had weeks of healing. She remembered the first week Jennifer was back and how she constantly had her arms wrapped around her middle and head down looking as submissive as she could without actually kneeling at your feet. Turning back to the slightly stunned looking lieutenant she squared her shoulders "If you use this to gossip around the dining table tonight you'll never receive pain meds from any of the medical team. For anything. Ever. Again. Do you understand?"

The man nodded, fully aware she had the power and faithful staff to follow through "Yes ma'am."

"Smart boy, off you go."

Jennifer reached her quarters and locked the door before crumpling in a heap on the floor, her palms flat against the cool ground as she sucked in huge lungful's of air that made her head spin.

Today was not what she had hoped it would be.