AN: Song of the story: Once - Glen Hansard.
Standard disclaimers - love em, but don't own em. Story's mine though.
Strength and Frailty - Ch. 4
Late Fall 2002 - Sunnydale, CA
Hardly knowing how he got there, Giles found himself back in his hotel room, heartsick and emotionally drained. He threw his key on the nearest surface and dragged himself to the bed where he unceremoniously shoved his suitcase to the floor and collapsed tiredly, fully clothed, only pausing to toe off his shoes and place his glasses upon the nightstand. Between the jet lag and the alternately glorious and wretched reunion with Buffy, he fell deeply asleep in less than a minute.
When Giles woke, the sun was setting against the curtains and rolled, rumpled, sore, and groggy, out of bed. Now that he was back in Sunnydale and had at last spoken with Buffy, unsatisfactory as it was, the sense of urgency that had pulled him eased. He surprisingly found himself at loose ends. He hadn't really thought past seeing his Slayer with his own eyes. He'd had some sort of vague plan to offer assistance in whatever she needed, even if it made a hypocrite out of him. The critical words he had spoken in haste to Buffy echoed bitterly in his head. It seemed that he would have to rethink his approach - or, rather preferably, have an approach with any sort of forethought.
Giles rummaged through his suitcase for his toiletries and headed for a scalding hot shower to loosen the knots in his shoulders and back. Emerging from the steamy bathroom freshly shaven and refreshed with a clear, simple stratagem to reach out to Buffy and a checklist of things to do in order to get settled, he began to feel a little less dejected and more determined. Giles unpacked some of his clothes and chose the least creased of the bunch, a pair of grey slacks and a black long sleeved pullover. He ran a hand through his hair, replaced his glasses, filled his pockets with his keys and wallet, and grabbed his- damn. He'd left his jacket at Buffy's apartment.
After arranging for a rental car at the desk in the lobby he drove into town. The ride down Main was uneventful and the tinkle of the Magic Box's bell as he opened the door provoked a bittersweet stab of nostalgia.
"Welcome!" called a cheery voice. "How can I- Giles!" Multi colored candles tumbled to the floor when Anya, smiling broadly, rushed across the shop, nearly tackling him to the ground with her enthusiastic hug. "Giles! It's so good to see you! Why are you-" Her smile abruptly changed to suspicion as she held Giles' shoulders at arm's length. "You can't have the store back."
Giles chuckled. "Hello, Anya. It's good to see you, too. And the store is still yours, of course. I- uh- I'm actually here a-as a customer."
"Oh, good!" sighed Anya, immensely relieved that her source of income still remained safely under her control. Relatively un-phased by the sudden appearance of her old employer, she turned to pick up the spilled merchandise. "So, you came all the way from the U.K. to buy something?" She looked at him curiously, "You could have just called, Giles. I would have shipped you whatever you wanted-"
"That's very kind-"
"I wouldn't even charge for delivery!"
"Uh- Thank you? I- um, have other business in town, it so happens…"
"Business? Really? Not Magic Box, business I assume. I didn't think I'd ever see you again on American soil." Her eyes narrowed as she restocked the candles. "It's not the end of the world again, is it?"
"No, no! Nothing like that. I just-"
"That's good. Hey, when can I meet the new Mrs. Giles?"
"The new WHAT? Did-" He was interrupted by the chiming of the bell and a high squeal.
"Oh my god! Is that- It's Giles! GILES! IT'S GILES!"
"Giles!" He spun around at the familiar voices and was abruptly engulfed in four arms. Blinking, he saw Willow's bouncing red hair and Xander's giant grin. Giles' did his best to wrap his own arms around the both of them, his grin just as large as Xander's and a sudden stinging sensation behind his eyes. Good lord, he hadn't realized just how much he'd missed these two.
"I can't believe it! I can't believe it!" Willow stepped back in the circle of their arms, smiling widely. "What on Gaia's green earth are you doing here? I mean, I'm totally happy that you are, but- what the heck are you doing here?"
"I think what Will's trying to say is, 'We missed you very, very much,'" Xander said happily, still clasping Giles' shoulder tightly.
"I missed you, too. All of you," he said, still smiling.
"Really though, G-man, whatcha doing back on this side of the pond?"
"I thought a visit might be overdue and don't call me that again."
"Gosh, Buffy's gonna be so glad to see you!" Willow exclaimed.
"Actually, I went by her apartment to see her earlier today."
"That's good. If you went to her place now, you probably would've missed her. She patrols earlier nowadays," Xander explained. Giles wondered that they didn't seem concerned about Buffy's injuries and then realized at the same moment, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, that they knew nothing about it.
"Well, come on!" Willow tugged on his sleeve. "Sit down and tell us what you've been up to!" She pulled him into a chair at the Magic Box's round table and scooted another chair for herself close to his.
Xander sprawled himself in his own chair across from them. "Yah, how many scones didja eat while you were in England?"
"Please, Xander," replied Anya matter of factly, sitting on the other side of Giles. "That's like asking a whale how much plankton it ate." Xander stuck his tongue out at her.
Giles glared, but there was no heat behind it. "A fair few scones, Xander. Although, I do believe I ate more curry than might be considered healthy in the first while back. And as for your question, Willow, I've been keeping busy. Reunited with a few old friends and the like. I even took on an odd research job at my old museum here and there."
"That sounds great, Giles!" Willow enthused. "Musta been nice to be home."
"You forgot your wedding," Anya pointed out.
"I'm sorry - my what?!" Giles sputtered.
"Wedding. Man and wife? As in, 'I now pronounce you…?' I'm pretty offended that I wasn't invited. I mean, you were invited to my wedding," she glanced pointedly at Xander. "Even though it was a disaster."
Giles' brow furrowed, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly, trying to make sense of the turn in conversation.
"I gotta say," Willow added. "I'm more than a little miffed, too. Did you at least bring pictures?
"I… I… What?"
"C'mon, guys, give Giles a break." Xander said. "It's not like we could have made it up there anyway."
Willow sighed. "I know, I know. Between the air fare and taking shifts at the hospital after the shooting, we-"
"Shooting?" Willow broke off mid-sentence, catching her mistake a few words too late, while everyone else guiltily avoided eye contact with him, saying nothing. "Shooting?!" Giles exclaimed, thoroughly alarmed when no one elaborated. "SHOOTING? With guns and bullets? Someone was shot?"
"Well, I thought- I mean- if you're here, a-and you already saw Buffy I thought that you must know… I mean- that she would have said…" Willow trailed off uncertainly.
"Buffy was SHOT?!" The three's silence was telling and the sinking feeling in his stomach turned into a lead ball. "B-but I just saw her - she's fine."
"She is… well, mostly," Xander spoke quietly. "But she wasn't for a while and there was few days when we weren't sure…" his voice roughened and he had to clear his throat.
Anya stared hard at a speck of dust on the ground, worrying her bottom lip. She'd visited the hospital many times while Buffy was unconscious and the memory of seeing the seemingly indestructible Slayer laid so low still unsettled her. "She would've been fine if she'd've just saved herself," she mumbled. Xander heard her confusion and caught her eye for a moment - he understood what she meant.
Willow wrung her hands and seemed to debate with herself before she said, "Buffy was shot, um, in the head last summer." She tried to mutter the last bit, but Giles heard quite clearly.
He paled. "In the head?!"
Willow soldiered on with her explanation. "She spent more than a month in the hospital, mostly unconscious. It was touch and go for the first week before she stabilized. She developed a pretty nasty infection and all of her pain medications made her really out of it when she woke up now and then. Buffy, uh, kinda knocked out one of the nurses just after waking up from her surgery. It took a few male nurses and doctors to hold her down until she just went to sleep.
"The doctor said it had something to do with the anesthesia making her act strangely and aggressively," Xander added. "But Wesley said it was probably her Slayer instincts lashing out and trying to protect herself when she was vulnerable."
"Oh! And Wesley brought Dawn down from L.A. to visit Buffy, but we sent her back to school when Buffy stabilized and then we called her back here when the doctors were ready to take her off of the stronger pain meds. Wesley helped with patrols and warding Buffy's hospital room while he was here. Boy," Willow laughed nervously, "we had a hard time explaining the latin and garlic and crucifixes when her nurse walked in on us." Willow's tentative smile faded when saw that Giles was staring at her in disbelief, white as a ghost. She cleared her throat and hurried on with the rest of the story. "Dawn and Wes only stayed about a week after Buffy was discharged. Buffy healed, but she never went to her follow ups and didn't fill out any of her prescriptions. She should be in physical therapy now, but she refused."
"We've been taking turns trying to check on her and spend time with her and to make sure she's ok, but-" Xander shrugged. "It's like she doesn't want help."
Giles was shaking his head, "I- I don't understand. If Buffy was so badly wounded, why did no one call me? At least let me know what was happening?"
"Well, your wedding was the same weekend that Buffy got hurt," Anya answered as if it were obvious.
"Why the bloody hell do you all keep talking about my wedding?" He slammed his hand onto the table, causing the trio to flinch. "I was a groomsman at Olivia's wedding. I was never married! Why did no one call me?"
Xander and Willow traded confused glances. "We did call," said Xander.
"Your father answered and told us about your wedding," continued Willow. "We tried to explain that it was about the Slayer, but-"
"My father?! Good lord. And you liste- No, you wouldn't have known." All eyes were on Giles as comprehension dawned on his face. "My father and his companion were visiting for a week. He has Alzheimers. He- well, he must have remembered part of the conversation we had about my being in a wedding, but obviously not clearly enough to relate to you the actual facts."
Xander, Willow, and Anya gaped at him. "So…"
"Then you're not…?"
"There's no Mrs. Giles?"
"Not unless you are referring to my mother or grandmother."
A heavy silence settled over the store as each person considered the ramifications of the miscommunication. "But Roger and Olivia's wedding was ages ago," Giles spoke in confusion, "even if I had gotten married the same week Buffy was-" he cleared his throat, "was shot… Why am I still only hearing of this now?"
At this, Xander and Willow shared a look that made that horrible lead feeling in his stomach do an uncomfortable flop. "Buffy asked us not to tell you," Xander finally answered. "It was the first thing she said when she woke up. I'm sorry, Giles. She was still so weak - we just didn't want her getting worked up over it… and then when she was released from the hospital we asked her again if she wanted us to contact you, but…" Xander shrugged sadly.
"Ok, wait," Anya held up a hand. "Let me just get this straight so there's no more confusion. Buffy died, Giles left, we resurrected her. Giles came back, Buffy was getting better, Giles left. Buffy moved out and Dawn went to LA. Buffy got shot. We thought Giles was getting married, so we didn't call again. Then, Buffy woke up and asked us all not to tell Giles. Buffy is sort of better. Giles is back- again- and he only now found out about the shooting?" She looked around the table for confirmation.
Willow nodded, lips pursed thoughtfully. Xander shook his head in disbelief.
Giles cursed and stood abruptly from the table dragging his hands through his hair. "Buffy thinks that I- Christ! This is all some unbelievable misunderstanding. I need to go." He strode purposefully toward the exit.
"Giles, wait!" Willow called out. "Where are you going?"
"I'm sorry, all of you. I need to find Buffy," he announced impatiently as he reached for the door handle. "I'll come back tomorrow sometime."
"But, Giles, what about your purchases-" Anya called out. But he was gone. And in a few moments they heard the sound of his rental car speeding away and down the street.
That urgency to see Buffy, to shake some sense into her, that Giles had felt after hearing her taped message had returned tenfold and the bloody car couldn't go fast enough. He still didn't know the whole damned story, but he certainly wouldn't bloody well sit the Magic Box and listen to it second hand when he could just as well hear it from Buffy herself and just be near her.
A storm of emotions rolled over him- hot anger, inexplicable guilt, pain, and love, and loss- and the breath was knocked from his lungs as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. He'd nearly lost her and he hadn't even known. Would he have ever known if he hadn't hopped on that plane? If she had died - would he have heard? He sped toward Buffy's apartment building all plans and carefully thought out speeches flying out the window.
AN: SOooo… Regular updates are just not gonna happen. Apologies. This quick chapter took months of typing for 30 minutes every few weeks. I know where the story is headed and it should be done in 2-3 more shortish chapters. Forgive me and review? Thank you for reading! ~lovelielove
Once by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (Once OST)
Part of me
Has died
And won't return
And part of me
Wants to hide
The part that's burned
Once, once
Knew how to talk to you
Once, once
But not anymore
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Part of me
Has vied
To watch it burn
And the heart of me
Has tried
But look what it's become
Once, once
I knew how to look for you
Once, once
But that was before
Once, once
I would have laid down and died for you
Once, once
But not anymore.
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home
Hear the sirens call me home