I love how her hot plump breasts feel when pressed upon my back and when her soft but firm arm around my waist pulls me closer. She always has to touch me when we sleep together like she is afraid I will leave. I feel at ease..calm...loved.
She tosses and turns tonight. The weight of the Templar problem is troubling her. She feels responsible for protecting everyone. She holds the world on her shoulders but to me she is more than the world. And it breaks my heart that I will never be able to tell her how much I love her. She is meant for great things and...and...I am not.
Don't get me wrong I don't feel sorry for myself I just know what I want in life and that's freedom. No matter what happens to Amber she is meant for greatness. We all know it. It's just a matter of time. But until then at least, I will share her bed.
"Ummm" she wakes with a cute whimper.
"Shhhh... Go back to sleep love I am still here." I say to reassure her.
"Oh good...please stay tonight..." she replies as she falls back to sleep.
I've never stayed the whole night. It's too symbolic. It's too meaningful. It's too confining. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just give myself to this one? There is something way back, hidden in my self-consciousness that just knows it's not right but damn it! Why not?
Right before dawn I leave with a quick kiss and snuggle. It was the latest I ever stayed. Perhaps...perhaps...if I take this slowly I will be able to give in and stay till morning. I hope so. I really do.
On my way back to Lowtown the sun rises and Kirkwall starts to rise. The sweet, scent of bread cooking in the bakeries make my stomach growl. I should have ate at Ambers but I wasn't in the mood for Orana.
As I am walking down the stairs into Lowtown I see Merrill at a merchant stall. She is arguing with the purveyor. Despite my misgivings about Merrill I decide to investigate.
"Hey Kitten, what's going on?" I say to Merrill.
Frustrated and nearly crying she replies, "This human won't give me my change."
Glaring at the grain merchant with one of my most un-amused looks he quickly says, "You know what? Why don't we make it on the house today?" Then he quickly gave back Merrill all her money.
Merrill smiles at me in return and I find my heart fluttering a bit. She has a lovely smile. She really is someone you want to take care of and tell them it will all be ok. And then right there I knew what I had to do.
"So Kitten anytime you have a problem like that just come tell me or Varric and we will get it all sorted out. Don't let it stress you, all the merchants down here are crooks anyway." I say smiling back.
"Thank you. You seem to be up early today?" Merrill asks.
"Oh I am just coming from Amber's. I usually sleep there." I answer.
"Oh...ok." Merrill replies and looks down at the ground in embarrassment.
I can't but help giggle at her awkwardness.
As we stroll around Lowtown we make small talk but I decide to get more personal.
"So have you ever had a lover Merrill?" I ask.
Her face goes beet red. I do my best not to laugh.
Surprisingly she answers, "Well there was this one woman named Gallia but it didn't work out. But it was nice while it lasted."
I stopped in my tracks. "Wait! You don't mean Gallia the Mage Elf, the Hero of Ferelden do you?"
Merrill blushes even deeper.
"Yes that was her but to be fair I didn't know that's who she was. She was travelling covertly on a mission. I didn't find out until near the end of the relationship." she answers.
Holy mother! This unassuming, creepy elf slept with the Hero of Ferelden? Son of a bitch!
It took me a few moments to find my voice again.
"So what do you think of Amber?" I ask.
Confused she looks up at me and answers, "Aren't you two seeing each other?"
"Well yea...though I am just curious as you, as a woman who likes other women, what you think of Amber, that's all." I reply.
Trying to read my real intentions she remains quiet.
"Honestly Kitten, I'm just curious." I reassure here.
"Well...she is rather pretty and brave and well..AMAZING." Merrill finally answers with wide eyed enthusiasm.
I smile to myself. Yes she is, yes she is.
"Why don't you ever visit her?" I ask.
"Two reasons, one she visits me now and again and I can't find her house in Hightown." she answers in a near whisper.
This was news to me. Amber has never once mentioned visiting her... hmm.
We continued to make small talk for the rest of the morning until she finally had to go home and water her plants or some other faffy Elf thing she had to do.
I found myself back at the Hanged Man. I was in search of Varric who I found in his suite.
After I quick hug I ask, "We still got that job tonight?"
"Yes ma'am! A whole chest of gold just waiting to be dug up." He cheerfully answers.
"Who else is going?"
"Just you and I sweetheart...oh and Bianca of course." he says referring to the name of his auto firing crossbow. Honestly, who calls a cross bow Bianca? Men..phht...wouldn't surprise me if they named their sex after women. Bunch of testosterone filled, hairy dolts who try to fuck anything with a hole. Why I am suddenly randy?
"I am still spitting sand out, VARRIC!. I still have sand in my crotch, VARRIC!" I mercilessly yell at him as we walk back from out night out treasure hunting.
"How was I supposed to know it was buried that deep?" he replied trying not to laugh at my predicament.
"It was YOUR bloody treasure map!" I quickly answer.
"Ahh..just think of it as a shallow cave then?" he quips back. He also managed to duck out of the way of my fist that was about to impart itself on his pointy head. ARRRGGGG! I hate sand!
"That's not god damn funny Varric. I didn't see you down there!" I bark
"Well I had to hold the rope, remember?" he immediately comes back with.
"There was a fucking tree three feet away VARRIC! You could have tied the rope to the tree and came down to help me?" I reply as snarky as possible.
"Naw that never would have worked." He replied as if it was written in stone.
"What? Why would it not have worked? The rope was plenty strong enough." I ask.
Without hesitating an instant he comes back with, "Well...because if I did go with you, I'd now be covered in sand too! I really hate the stuff."
I scream out of frustration!
"That's it you smug, knee-high, nug-humper! I am going to kick your arse!" I yell as I start to chase him. The little bugger runs fast, even when he is belly laughing, and is soon out of my reach. Albeit with sand trying to force itself up every orifice that I have, running wasn't a smart idea anyway.
I really needed a bath so I make my way to Amber's house and am soon neck high in bubbly, sweet smelling, hot water.
Perched on the edge of the tub Amber looks down at me.
"Do I even want to know how you got so covered in sand?" she asks as politely as possible.
I remain steadfast in my silence.
"Perhaps another one of Varric's treasure hunts?" she asks.
"I really hate that man sometimes." I pout.
"Oh sweetie you just keep falling for those. He is probably down at the pub bragging about it right now." Amber replied.
I glared at her. It didn't work she just giggled. I suppose glaring at someone while submerged in a bubble bath isn't too threatening.
"I tell you what lover, take your time getting all clean and sorted and I will give you a nice massage when you're done?" Amber sweetly asks.
I finally smile. A massage would be heaven especially with those hot and cold hand of hers.
As I get out of the tub I notice all the sand on the floor. There was also a little path of sand from the tub to Amber's bedroom door. Orana is going to be glaring at me for a month non-stop.
The soft rug in Amber's room felt great on my feet and the instant I got to the bed I fell face forward in one big plop right in the middle of the giant mattress. I was so looking forward to a massage.
Within seconds, Amber was straddling my back with her bare thighs and I felt some hot oil land in the middle of my shoulder blades. She slowly started with my neck and gradually worked down to each arm including each finger.
She now was focusing on my back in general and her hot hands felt so good. It was all I could do to stay awake. By the time she got to my lower back, sleep was bitch slapping me in the face. By the time she got to my legs I was barely conscious. However, when she got to my feet I was wide awake because she knows damn well they are ticklish but she did them away, even between me screaming like a wild banshee for her to stop. Bitch!
She gently flipped me over to do the my front but...well let's just say once she got view of my front things got serious and sensuous for a few hours and then we were both soon sleeping like the dead.
Ah...life is good!