Oooohhh I am a bad, bad person, I forgot to post this last week. Wish I had a good excuse but I don't. Many sorry's.
Rodney dropped his tray on the table and fell into his seat "Long afternoon?" Sheppard asked.
"Yeah"
Sheppard raised an eyebrow at the unusually succinct answer from the scientist but let it lie. No need to provoke a long-winded and ultimately pointless response. "Chatty bunch aren't we." Ronon grunted and Teyla smiled.
"I think the hike back from the last village this morning has worn us all out John." Teyla offered "And Ronon did carry the rock samples back." Ronon glared at Rodney who had his mouth too full to retort.
Why people feel the need to place stargates on the top of mountains was beyond Sheppard "Has anyone seen Jennifer?"
Rodney held up his hand and took a moment to swallow "I stopped by her quarters to see if she wanted to eat but no reply, I had assumed she was working."
"No, no shift tonight." Ronon supplied, "I stopped by the infirmary on my way here, she hasn't been in since lunch."
The team glanced at each other "I'm sure she is fine. She has probably just gone for a walk to enjoy the beautiful day." Teyla's reassurance did little to help the growing unease in the pit of Sheppard's stomach.
The table subsided into silence again as they returned to their plates, each of them trying to unwind from a long day by soaking in the familiar chatter around them. Conversations about the day gone, plans for the week, gossip, someone bemoaning the pile of paperwork they just couldn't seem to fob off to someone else.
"Did you hear? He's sleeping with Cora from bio and her wife found out. You should have seen his face when she threw the coffee at him!" the table roared with laughter and started taking bets on how long the poor sod would stay.
"But that's not what Im saying-" ... "Yes it is, you're questioning her ability to lead the..."
"No, no his son is Gabriel, his daughter is named Maxine" … "I know, it doesn't help that Gabby and Max are twins"
"She freaked out in the middle of the corridor, I heard she tried to shoot him." Sheppard frowned and tried to focus on who they were talking about. He glanced at Ronon who had stopped eating to focus as well, both sharing a look; it seemed there was drama outside of their unlucky little group for once.
"Surely they can't expect us to be happy working with her? What if it happens again?"
"Karen" said a crisp voice from the table behind "You keep that blade of a tongue in your mouth and if I hear you speaking ill of our chief again you'll be on bedpan duty for a month." Sheppard had a bad feeling about this and glanced up to see Ronon gripping his knife with white knuckles. He caught Ronon's eye and shook his head slightly.
"Yes Nicky… but what if she tried to shoot someone else? I don't want to die because Dr Keller decides she-" Teyla laid a restraining hand on Ronon's arm as he tried to stand, violent intent in his eyes.
"You're new here so I will allow you this doubt - but only once. Dr Keller has had to deal with a lot recently and this gossiping is an insult to her and everyone who has been getting her through it. If our chief has a flashback in the corridor because of an idiot scientist whose inobservance causes her to be bowled over then you will have enough respect to NOT use it as fodder for gossip." Karen opened her mouth to say something but Nicky cut her off "You will never do this again." she caught sight of Ronon, still half raised from his chair "Or you will not just have me to deal with." the young nurse followed Nicky's gaze and nodded with wide eyes.
The room, silent as the medical staff had a domestic, burst back into life and Ronon stood up
"I'm going to find her."
"I don't think that's a good idea Chewie" Ronon looked furious. Sheppard glanced at Teyla for help.
"Do you think you can keep that anger hidden?" she asked her hand sliding down his arm to tap the back of the hand that still clutched the knife "Because the moment Jennifer sees even a hint of it you're going to make things so much worse."
Ronon's hand clenched the knife tighter and his other hand balled into a fist as he struggled to think past his instincts "I'm going to the training mats, find me when you've talked to her." the words were rough as he forced them past the protective fury blooming in his chest, the tension eased in Sheppard's shoulders only once Ronon passed a terrified Nurse Karen without reaction.
One down.
Knock knock knock "Jennifer?"
Silence
Knock knock knock "Jennifer."
Silence
"I know you're in there, I search everywhere in the populated sections of Atlantis and couldn't find you."
Jennifer leant against the door and stayed resolutely silent.
"And then I checked the life signs detector. You're in your room… Open up Jennifer."
The door slid open and revealed a pale Jennifer with a glass of red wine in hand, "That's cheating."
"Can I come in?" Jennifer stepped aside and let him enter. John relaxed when he saw the bottle of wine still mostly full "Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be drinking?"
She raised an eyebrow but kept her head down, not have the heart to remind him who the doctor was "It's going to help me sleep. Calm down." she exclaimed at the expression she caught on Johns face in the reflection of the window "I usually just use sleeping pills but do you know how addictive those things are? A couple of glasses of wine will let me get to sleep tonight and to be honest," she sat on the bed and John noticed her shoulders droop "I could do with some peace in my head." Jennifer looked at him and he swore as he finally saw what she had been hiding from him. The swelling was starting to go down around her left eye and the bright purple bruise had begun forming under it.
John swallowed his first comment and took a deep breath "That's quite a shiner you've got there." Jennifer's hand fluttered halfway to her face before she could control the instinct that told her to hide it.
"Yeah, I bumped into someone in the corridor today, caught the corner of his tablet with my face. Some luck huh?" she tried to laugh but it sounded hollow.
"I heard." was all John said but Jennifer looked at him closely.
"What did you hear?"
John sat on the couch across from her "That your PTSD is not as sorted as you would have us believe."
"Damn it!" Jennifer Jumped up and John rose to stand in front of her "I don't have PTSD!"
"You do." he held her by her shoulders and looked at her with sad understanding "I don't know how you've kept it from your therapists but they're idiots to not see it."
Jennifer tried to twist out of his grip but he held her still "Stop it Sheppard, Dr Grant is a good man and we're working on things."
"Have you lied to him?"
"What?" she said confused "Of course I haven't."
"Would you lie to me?"
Jennifer stopped struggling and looked at him "No."
"How did you break your wrist?"
Jennifer ground her teeth and forced her voice to remain steady "I tripped."
John looked disappointed and let go of her, sitting on the couch with his forearms on his knees, avoiding eye contact, "Carson was worried about you." Jennifer sat back on the bed and tried to work out where this turn of conversation was going "And before he left he talked briefly to us about you."
"Us?" Jennifer asked in a small voice.
"Me, Ronon, Teyla and Rodney." John looked at her then. "He told us that you've been lying to your therapist. That your wrist showed signs of a stressed fracture and the way it was broken meant your body weight was hanging fully from your wrists." his expression was sad "But none of that was in your report. What else have you kept from us Jennifer? What else are you trying to deal with yourself?"
"I… I can't" Jennifer took a shaky breath "I'm sorry but I just can't open that box yet. It full of dark and scary things and I'm afraid." her voice broke and tears slipped down her cheeks, John moved to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders "I'm afraid if I open it all the darkness will infect me and I'll never get it out. I don't want to be this broken person John, I just want to go back to the person I was." Jennifer twisted and buried her face in his shoulder so he had to strain to hear her muffled words "I can't seem to have fun anymore, I jump at every loud noise and I haven't slept a full night in weeks. But the worst is that things in Atlantis remind me of it; the smell of dirt on the geologists, any male laughter and poorly lit corners. I'm afraid of the dark John, I am already dealing with too much. Please don't make me relive the rest of it."
"Ok, ok" John's hand on her back rubbed lazy circles "But when you're ready" he left the offer hanging.
Jennifer pulled away and smiled sheepishly "I'll go to your team first." she stood and wiped her eyes "Thank you John, I know you're just looking out for me." he stood, patted her on the shoulder and opened the door "Umm," Sheppard turned back to watch Jennifer bite her lip "how did you know what had happened?"
John winced internally and decided 'gossip' wasn't a good answer "Nicky told me. Don't look like that." he said quickly as Jennifer's face clouded over "She has your back, it's a shame you can't give her a raise." Jennifer nodded and backed down "Sleep well Doc."
Ronon's fury burnt through him, his every action a little faster, a little stronger, a little fiercer than was usual. There was nothing that seemed to be able to calm him, the terrified and sweat drenched man trying to keep up with him couldn't penetrate the crushing sense of hopelessness. A particularly vicious strike sent the man to the floor again, now with a bleeding nose.
He was soon hauled off the floor by his mates and another cocky guy took his place. Ronon watched him with a blank face, the furnace in him burning away everything else as they circled, fists curled around batons and eyes watching for any weakness.
Ronon would be the first to admit he didn't do well when the problem couldn't be solved physically and the protective instincts he had for the doctor demanded he fix it. The new victim crossed one foot in front of the other for a moment and Ronon pounced, a strike to the ribs and a foot behind the knees has him on the floor in a second and it took a moment for Ronon to remember not to follow through with a crippling strike. The man scrambled up from the floor eyeing Ronon warily and they circled again.
Poor Jen, everyone around her is so nosy.