"Oh, how about this?" Sokka read the title aloud. "The title's The People Who Talk At The Theater - hmm, interesting name."

Aang scratched his head in thought. "Aren't people who talk at the theater called actors?"

Toph sighed. "Those are called people who work at the theater, Twinkletoes. Lots of other people talk at the theater - bored audiences, annoying little brats dragged there by their parents, oblivious lovers..."

"You sure know a lot about these things," Katara remarked.

"I learned a lot from Ember Island - I didn't know what was happening half the time, so I paid more attention to the surroundings, which at least I understood."

"Ah," was all Katara could say.

"So then - let's go for it!" And so speaking, Sokka began the story.

Creeping silently through the darkened streets of Ember Island, the Blue Spirit darted around the still area, blowing out the various candles used to light up the Main Street. Looking towards one corner, he waved another figure over. Unfortunately, this individual was not nearly as quiet, or discreet... or flexible or rugged - he didn't look nearly as good without a shirt on. He also had a ponytail, which girls didn't find appealing at all and- ahem, sorry. Sokka stumbled over to where the Avatar's one-time saviour-slash-enemy was passing the time by banging his head against the wall.

Sokka snorted. "Nice hobby, Zuko."

"The same to you, Mr Unappealing Ponytail," the scarred teen shot back.

"Hey, it's a wolf-tail! Why do people keep making that mistake?" Sokka complained.

"Because real wolves have more fashionable tails?" Katara suggested with a grin.

"And definitely more appealing," Toph added while Aang chuckled.

Sokka rounded on her. "And what would you know? You can't even see!"

"Well, in my 'point of view' (so to speak), you give me the impression of growing an inkbrush out of your head, so if you prefer that, suit yourself." Toph's comment was rewarded by Sokka's annoyed glare while the others laughed.

"Can't you be a little quieter!" he hissed through the mask.

"I'm sorry if I'm not as awesome as you!" came the hushed reply. "Why the hell do you have that stupid mask on anyway? Better yet, where the hell did you get it?"

"Shh. It was a street vendor - some weird chick had a whole shop filled with Blue Spirit memorabilia. It was pretty cheap, too." Zuko said thoughtfully under his mask.

Sokka tutted disapprovingly. "Zuko, you should know better than to buy cheap stuff from weird chicks. What if they're laced with love potion to manipulate you into returning their obsessive affections for you?"

"What, so you always have that worry?" Toph asked him.

"Of course! You never know who might want to take advantage of my good looks."

Katara shook her head in disbelief. "Only my brother would be deluded enough to suspect innocent people of wanting to take advantage of him."

"Only your brother," Aang agreed.

"Why are you wearing it now?!"

"It sets the mood, okay?"

"What mood?! Two teenagers sneaking around an island! Whoop-dee-do!"

Toph looked thoughtful. "Snoozles does have a point here..."

Sokka grinned. "Thanks, Toph."

"... although the same thing's a rare occurrence in real life," Toph finished with a satisfied smirk while the Water Tribe teen shot her a glare.

Without bothering to respond, the Blue Spirit turned and ran silently towards the obnoxious building in the centre of the island. This time, there was no huge line waiting to enter - unsurprising, seeing as how it was the middle of the night and the two boys weren't so stupid as to try and break in whilst there was a crowd. When he got to the front door, Zuko took the mask off.

"I can't kick down the door, that would be too noisy," he said, looking pointedly at the Water Tribe boy.

"Lemme have a look," was the response as Sokka leaned in to inspect the brass handle.

"Yep, just as I suspected," he said, nodding. "It's locked."

Zuko suppressed the urge to smack his head,

Toph nodded while grinning. "Yup, I know how you feel."

"Tell me about it," Katara agreed.

before asking through gritted teeth, "Can you get us in?"

"Oh, no problem-o, muchacho."

Taking out a lock-pick, Sokka went to work, occasionally muttering obscenities.

"Hurry up, will you?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm trying. This is a Master level lock, and I- oh, yeah!"

"What?" Zuko asked, excitement building in his throat.

"I leveled up," Sokka said simply, and for the second time in as many minutes Zuko had to suppress the urge to hit himself.

Aang frowned slightly. "I... didn't get that last part."

Toph shrugged. "There's nothing to get, Sokka just 'leveled up', whatever that means. It's not important anyway."

"Hey, any achievement of mine is important!" Sokka protested.

"Just keep telling yourself that, Snoozles."

Leaning against the door, it came as a surprise to both of them when it swung open noiselessly. Well, as noiselessly as possible when two teenage boys fell through at the same time, somehow managing to land on top of one another.

"Someone out there is enjoying this," Zuko muttered to himself as he pushed Sokka off him, his calloused hands coming into contact with the younger boys' muscular chest.

"And there we have a -" Toph started to say, but feeling Katara's pointed look directed at her she hastily finished with, "... certain unmentionable moment *cough cough*"

"Oh, totally locked, Sokka," he said as he brushed himself off. "Great job."

The tribesman just shrugged. "Come on, we have a job to do. Did you bring the document?"

Zuko gave a sharp nod and the two were on their way.

"I think it's down this hallway..."
"No, it's this one-"
"Is there anyway to pause this and turn the map back on?"

Once again Aang was frowning slightly. "How do you turn on a map?"

"Oh, that's easy, you just look for the glowing red button and..." Sokka trailed off as he caught his sister's eye. "Never mind, I'll just, um, continue with the story, yeah?"

Finally, the two boys were standing outside a wooden door, adorned with the numbers one-oh-one.

"No way."
"Not going in there."

They looked at each other and sighed.

"Look, it should be fine if we leave the door open. There's no-one else here. You didn't say anything, or think anything, or do anything to oppose The Party, did you?" Sokka asked.

"Well, I broke his grandmother's vase, but it was an ugly one," Zuko said thoughtfully.

"Don't ask; we didn't get that either," Sokka interjected as he saw Aang open his mouth presumably to ask another question. "Whose grandmother's vase did you break anyway, Zuko?"

"Dunno," was the reply, and Sokka nodded wisely as if he'd been expecting to hear this.

"Yeah, just as I thought. Moving on now."

The evidence that they were in fact alone, plus the memory of said ugly vase compelled Zuko to open the door. Walking in slowly, they felt it. The change was instantaneous.

"Sokka, this is-"

"I know. I can feel it. The Room. The room-temperature room. Oh, man, this is awesome! I wish Aang was here to see this!"

"See what?"

"Don't know."

"Oh." And that was the end of Sokka and Aang's brief exchange.

"I know... Irregardless of the mystic properties, we have to go before the pseudo-men catch us."

"Regardless."

"Ye- what?"

"You said irregardless. It isn't a word." Sokka beamed at Zuko, finally able to put his basic lessons to work.

Toph raised an eyebrow. "First Sokka starts to make sense, and now he's a grammar guru? Wow, this story sure knows how to paint him in a good light."

Sokka shrugged. "Nah, it just tells it like it is."

"If you say so, Snoozles."

"Whatever, gramma Nazi. We have to go." Zuko made to move when Sokka stopped him.

"What's a Nazi?"

"I dunno! A word. Let's go," Zuko hissed, annoyed.

"And there you have your answer, Aang." Sokka looked towards the young Avatar, who nodded in return.

Walking further into the remarkably small room, Zuko began rifling through a desk that they had just noticed.

"Who puts a desk in a room this small?" Sokka commented, earning a glare from Zuko.

"Desks are important!"

Pulling an apple from his lock-picking bag, Sokka began eating it nonchalantly.

"You finished yet?"

Glaring at the Water Tribe boy once again, Zuko shook his head.

"There's a padlock, and I don't know the code..."

Sokka sauntered over and took a look. It was a simple lock - only two digits were required to open it; however, they had only one shot. Thinking quickly, he typed in two numbers. With a strange hissing and clicks, the padlock dropped from the handle, and Sokka walked back over to his spot by the door.

"What did you do? How did you know the code?" Zuko asked incredulously.

"It was forty-two. Didn't you know that's always the answer?"

"Of course it is," the real Sokka muttered. "I should've known."

"Known what?" asked Aang.

"Oh, nothing of importance. Don't you worry about it."

Sokka raised an eyebrow as Zuko huffed and began rifling through the desk. He pulled out a crumpled document from his tight sweater and quickly placed them in the drawer, replacing an almost identical set. Before long, he joined Sokka at the door, strapping his mask to his face.

"This might finally put them out of business. Here; I'll burn the original when we get back home."

Taking the proffered pieces of paper, Sokka stuffed them into his bag mercilessly, and walked out of the room. He sighed; he would miss this room. Making their way through the long hallways of the quiet building, it wasn't long before the two boys were on their way home. Daydreaming of fire and sea prunes,

"Didn't know Zuko daydreamed of sea prunes," Sokka grinned as he looked towards the scarred teen.

"I think I'm the one who daydreams about fire, not sea prunes."

"Then that means... Oh. Well, I guess that's accurate."

"Indeed," Katara agreed.

the pair didn't realize they were being followed until a voice behind them shouted out.

"Halt! We have you surrounded! Put the bag down, and surrender any fruits or vegetables."

Slowly lowering his bag, Sokka chucked his half eaten apple at the nearest guard. There had to have been at least thirty, some with spears while others were obviously firebenders.

"What have we done wrong, officer?" Zuko asked from behind his mask.

"You are under arrest for being the Blue Spirit!" A particularly fat guard cried.

"Under whose orders?" Sokka asked, confused. "And, am I under arrest?"

"Your girlfriend can go, Spirit, as long as you come with us quietly."

"Hey, I'm a boy!"

Toph burst out laughing. "I like this guard! And I don't even like guards to begin with!"

Sokka scowled. "Well, I don't like him."

The blind earthbender sighed. "Of course you don't."

The guard just looked at Sokka, before giggling. The two boys just looked at each other, confusion written in the lines of their small frowns.

"Who ordered my arrest?" Zuko called from behind his mask.

"The Great Lord of Melon!

"Oh yeah!" Toph pumped her fist in the air triumphantly. "Finally I get a mention!"

"So that's why she likes the guard; he's her subordinate," Aang reasoned to himself. "Understandable."

Now, are you going to come quietly, or do we need to take your girlfriend to teach you a lesson?"

Sokka just looked at Zuko. "He called me a girl!"

"I know! It's great!" Toph grinned.

"Shut up," Sokka told her.

"Okay, 'Lady' Snoozles."

Sokka groaned.

Growling at his friend's simpleminded attitude, Zuko enclosed the two boys in a ring of fire.

A cry came from outside the fire, "Aw, man. He can firebend too?"

"Oh great. I'm gonna die. Absolutely fantastic..." The tribesman said drily.

Ignoring him, Zuko extended his arms, slowly making the ring larger. Being fat and old, the guards knew they could never defeat a powerful firebender and the girl he loved.

At this point, Sokka was trying to ignore Toph's snorts of laughter.

Aang bent over until he could whisper in Katara's ear safely without being overheard. "I guess Zuko won't be after Suki in this story then."

"Guess not," Katara whispered back with a grin.

Flocking together like little lost cave-hoppers about to be devoured by a giant Momo,

"What a nightmare," Toph commented.

the officers conspiratorially whispered a plan.

"Denny's?"
"I want Taco Bell..."
"Let's just get some donuts..."

Turning tail, the not-so-loyal servants of Melon Lord quickly regrouped at the nearest Dunkin' Donuts, leaving Sokka and Zuko alone.

Sokka snorted. "Really faithful servants you have, oh mighty Melon Lord."

Toph flicked her hair casually, giving a strikingly accurate impersonation of Azula. "I have more loyal subjects than those peeps."

"Subjects that you actually know and don't come from a fictional story?" Katara suggested.

"Exactly. Subjects that I torture on a regular basis with 200 push-ups."

"Oh, those subjects." Aang nodded wisely. "Right."

"Let's just go home. I've had too much excitement for one night..."

Running quickly, the duo arrived home safe and sound. Hitting their sheets with a soft "oof", they fell asleep quickly dreaming of a giant Cabbage Merchant who went around stomping on Aang.

"Funny how everyone thinks the Cabbage Merchant's got murderous inclinations towards Aang," Sokka remarked.

Aang grinned sheepishly. "Well, I did destory quite a few of his cabbages."

"Katara and I did our fair share, but why isn't he after us?" Sokka questioned.

"Because he thinks plotting your death isn't worth his time," Toph responded.

Sokka gave the blind girl a pointed look. "That hurt."

It was a good week later before the boys heard of the results of their plan. Grabbing a copy of the Ember Island Ashes, they read the top headline.

Ember Island Players an International Success with Anonymous Play, The Blade of Wing-Fung.

Sokka looked at Zuko, gaping. The Fire Prince found his voice first.

"I did nazi that coming..."

"You mean 'not see'," Toph pointed out.

Sokka squinted at the book. "No, it really does say 'nazi' in here."

Zuko shrugged. "Oh well, it's just a word, like I said in the story."

"At least it proves you two can write plays," Katara observed. "Though if Sokka really tries that out for real, I'll be the one swapping his scripts."

"I'll join you," Toph grinned.

Aang looked out the window wistfully. "I want some donuts..."

Sorry Aang, but I'm not even entirely sure the Avatarverse has donuts. Kudos to Fruipit for her hilarious oneshot, and I'll see you all again soon!