Author's Note: Here we are the beginning of the end, ten chapters left to go! Ari was not in the best of mood last chapter was she...hopefully things get better right? *evil grin* y'know me by now...onward!

Thanks to RR, and JB (Welcome back!) for the reviews

Chapter 90

The Seeds You Sow

I trust Vivian and her advice. I manage to snag a small apartment near the hospital, it's not my old haunt but then again I don't want opulence, just a bed and a bathroom. I help at the soup kitchen nearby to keep me from going insane. It only takes a couple hours out of my day. The rest I spend between ICU and the burn unit watching over my friends.

I don't go back to the aid station. Ziggy died the night when we left. The shot had done too much damage. I had cried myself to sleep. I didn't leave my room or eat the following day. When Makenzie had come to visit I couldn't even speak to her, there are no words.

Maverick and Johanna come down to help at the kitchen with his parents. I notice Mav and Jo are getting close, but when he found out about Ziggy Jo and him got a place a stone's throw away from mine.

They visit and keep me company when I go to the hospital.

I get messages calling me to meeting with Plutarch and his crew that I ignore.

I get a call a couple days after Ziggy died. The first good news I hear since this whole crazy war started.

Gale is awake.

I rush out of my apartment, it's like a small bit of light is lit in me. I completely forget it's winter out and run out into the snow that falls and soaks my shirt, pants and thru my shoes and socks. He's awake!

I don't bother donning a labcoat, I see Mrs. Everdeen who just lets me rush past her to the stairs. I can't wait for an elevator, I have to take two stairs at a time bounding up them as fast as I can to get to him.

But I'm not alone.

Plutarch is standing at his room. At the window, he turns and I stop dead.

"What are you doing here?!" I ask shocked and angry

"Came to see one of our commanding officers" he sounds happy, he looks healthy, I almost feel betrayed by how he looks.

"You know Ziggy is dead? You know Primrose was sent in? You know how badly everyone is injured?" I look at him, "you shouldn't even have dared" I go past him and he has the gaul to follow me in.

"You've been ignoring our messages though" he says plaintively.

I ignore him and take Gale's hand in mine, his eyes flutter open, and gives a weak smile.

"Hey" I say to him. I can't help a tear spilling over and his hand brushes it away as he takes it from my grasp, I hold his hand to my cheek and kiss his palm.

"Crane" Plutarch calls me by my last name to grab my attention.

"Get out" I say solidly

"You can't-" he tries to finish but I give Gale an apologetic look then I am up grabbing Heavensbee by the jacket and march him out. I pull him all the way up the stairs to the burn unit I bark at him to put on a gown then I shove him out into the hall of where Peeta and Katniss are still in their 'cells'.

"Look at them" I snarl, he doesn't so I shove his face into the window, "this is what happens to opposing her, she fears what she can't control, I could have been here too if Vivian didn't hold me back, and you are siding with Alma." I let go of his head with another shove, "my family, my friends are fighting to live and you think this is a great way to show publicity, to bring people together, you think this is a great career move."

He doesn't know what to say to this he just looks at me.

"If I get in front of a camera, if I go to these meeting I am leaving their side and I will never do that, try to pull me away and you will regret it because I won't co-operate"

"When have you ever?" he snaps angrily, "we won Ariana"

"At what cost?!" I snarl, I tap his head and he pulls away, "think Plutarch, think of what happened under Snow, and think of what Alma has just done. Think about what it will lead and then tell me it was worth their lives, worth Ziggy's" I straighten up, "I'm going to spend some time with my boyfriend, if you want me to co-operate you apologize for them getting in the way of your ambition" and I march away leaving a stunned capitol egoist in my wake.

I sit with Gale every day. He doesn't say much the first few days, he's too worn and hurt for anymore than glances and smiles.

The first time he says anything is to wake me from dozing with my head on his pillow with him.

"Hey beautiful" he whispers, he manages to brush a hand across my forehead to push the fine layer of bangs that never gets pulled into my ponytail. I think I dream it until he adds as my eyes open slightly and he says, "missed you."

I can't help it I collapse on his chest and cry softly, he reciprocates by holding me as tight as he can. I feel so overcome right now. "I'm sorry!" I cry, "Gale I'm so so sorry!"

He hushes me, "what for? You didn't shoot me. What happened?" his voice is soft and understanding, "what did Plutarch want?"

"My allegiance" I say and then I fill him in, Primrose dead, Ziggy dead, Katniss and Peeta in the burn unit for another couple weeks, Ken blinded, the kitchens being put up throughout the city to help all the refugees, the aid stations. Vivian and Castiel negotiating clemency for Finn and Annie.

He looks grim, "and you investigated all this?" he frowns sadly when I nod and wipe my eyes, "Ari, I'm so sorry"

I choke out a laugh, "why?"

"I should have been there" and he tries to sit up but he winces so strongly I put my hand on his chest, "at least Vivian was there, at least you weren't alone."

"I'm capable of doing things on my own Gale" I point out.

"You shouldn't have to" he looks at me concerned, "promise me no more risks okay? We're a team you and I, allies, friends, partners. Where you go I go from now on"

I nod, "alright, you just have to rest and get better, I promise no more snooping without my Watson with me"

"Watson?" he looks confused. I chuckle.

"We have to get you a library card when this is done with" I lean over and kiss him, he looks confused but happy and touches my face.

A few more days and Gale insists to go for walks with me, and he completely refuses a wheelchair. Arguing with the nurse and even doctor Church that he has two perfectly capable legs. He settles on a cane. I know he's still sore, I know he shouldn't be walking around for long periods but he can't keep still. Even his mother on a phone could not keep him down.

We walk out in the hospital yard, wrapped in winter gear. Arm in arm.

"I should be out in another couple days" he says cocky, I am sure it's because he's worried about me, "can't stand the food in there" he looks down at me, "how are you holding up?"

I shrug, "Katniss is out of the woods but Peeta is still recovering" I reply not looking up.

"Ari" he says and I look up, "I asked how you are doing not Peeta and Katniss" he looks worried, "I'm worried about you."

I sigh, we turn around in our circuit, "I'm a million things and nothing" I say, "I'm angry at Coin, furirous at Snow, saddened by how you are all hurt and I'm unharmed. Happy that you are gonna be okay, worn out and wired. Purposeful at the kitchens when I'm not with you, loved and hated…" I look at the snow now softened and mixed with rain. "Gale I worry for all of us, not just you and I but Peeta and Katniss and our circle too. We don't have a good leader either way. I would wish someone else could be taken as a leader"

He nods, "I know, but Ariana there isn't much we can do right now, maybe when Snow is taken care of it will settle" he holds me closer, "don't worry okay, at least for a while, let's just focus on our small circle, it will do us all good."