Chapter 5

Jane closed the door of Sophia's bedroom. The girl was exhausted from their swimming trip and fell asleep after only one chapter of her favorite book. Jane sighed and leaned against the wall, trying to get some courage for the conversation she was going to have with Maura.

After their talk in the tub Jane would've wanted to gather their stuff and go back home so they could finish it, and she would know what Maura wanted. But Sophia wanted to do some water wrestling before they went home and Maura agreed that they could play a few rounds before they would get dressed.

Water wrestling meant two teams playing against each other. One of the team would hand wrestle with one from the other team whilst sitting on the neck of their teammate. Once your opponent was off of the shoulders and back in the water you've won. Jane blushes again when she thinks about the round where Sophia wanted to play adults against kids. Maura agreed but only if she could be the one who would wrestle, saying Jane should carry because she was the stronger one. So Jane got Maura up to her neck trying hard not to think about her position between Maura's legs. To her it felt awkward but Maura didn't seem to mind, which gave her hope for their talk that evening.

And now it was time for that conversation...

When Jane walked into the living room Maura was already sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in her hand and a beer for Jane ready at the table. Jane grabbed her beer when she sat down, she needed something in her hands to stop them from fidgeting.

"So..." Jane began, looking at the floor.

"So..." Maura said. And then there was silence for a few minutes, both woman trying to think how to start this conversation.

"What did you mean at the pool when you said that maybe you do feel more for me than just friendship?" Jane decided she wanted to get to the point of this conversation.

"I... I don't know Jane..." Maura began.

"You don't know?! Well that's just great Maura! Here we go again! I thought that maybe this time you where sure about your feelings for me, that you want me as much as I want you! But no! You don't know...! So, why did you say it at the pool then? To make me look like a fool again? Haha poor Jane is still in love with me! Well thanks for nothing Maura!". Jane downed her beer and started to get up but Maura pulled her back at the couch.

"Wait! You didn't even let me finish! You're just jumping to conclusions and getting angry! Well if you don't want to listen to me that's fine Jane! Go ahead with your conclusion and just leave it there! Ugh, sometimes you're even worse than a kid!" Maura said shoving Jane away.

"I'm a kid?! Well at least I am honest about my feelings Maura! Even Sophia knows that you shouldn't play with someone else's feelings! Letting them think you like them when you don't want anything to do with them! Jane was angry, she had so much hope after their conversation at the pool and now Maura pushed her away again, it wasn't fair.

"I'm not playing with your feelings Jane! Or at least that's not my intention and it never was my plan to hurt you" Tears began to start, Maura never wanted the conversation to go like this. Why did Jane always have to jump to conclusions so fast? If she would only listen for once!

"Well what IS your plan Maura? Because I've told you six years ago that I love you, but you didn't want a relationship with me then. So I've been your "friend" for years, hoping that someday you where ready to give me a chance. And you know, in the tub today, I really thought that you where ready, you gave me hope. And now you say again that you don't know... What do you want from me Maura? Why won't you be with me?!" Tears were streaming down Jane's face, she was just so frustrated!

"I want to be with you Jane! God why can't you see that?! I can't be without you anymore, I need you around me!"

"Well, then why do you keep this distance between us Maura? It's really confusing"

"Because I'm scared Jane! That's why. I don't want to lose what I have right now, and when we'll be together it will be even better. But what will happen when things go wrong and we break up? What would my life be without my best friend and the Rizzoli family?" Tears were streaming down Maura's face now too.

"Oh Maura..." Jane sighed, grabbing Maura's hands, holding them in her own. "You can't live your life stopping yourself from doing things that might go wrong. What if they turned out to be the best thing you ever did? You wouldn't know because you didn't try"

"I think you're one of the best things that could ever happen to me Jane... And that scares me"

"Why?"

"Because I don't want it to stop...I can't lose you Jane"

"You'll never lose me Maura, cause I can't live without you either... So if we try this and it doesn't work out, I promise you that we'll stay friends... We'll find a way. And you'll have to stay around for at least 15 years, cause you're Sophia's godmother" Jane said, trying to break the tension between them. It worked and Maura chuckled.

"So... What do you want Maura?"

"I want you Jane... but how do we do this?"

"Well let's start easy and see how things go. I don't want to tell Sophia yet because when it doesn't work out it might be confusing for her. So that means my family and everyone at work doesn't get to know about this either. Just for a little while so we can sort out how we want this to be. How does that sound to you?"

"That sounds great Jane, but..." Maura started blushing.

"What Maura? tell me"

"Well... When nobody knows about us does that mean I can't kiss you?"

Jane laughed "You can kiss me, not in public though, is that okay?"

"More than okay" Maura said, starting to look around the room

"Are you looking for something?" Jane asked confused.

"Just checking out if we were in public right now" Maura said with a small smile.

"I don't think we are" Jane sat closer to Maura.

"So... Does that mean I can kiss you right now?"

"Well miss Isles, I think you can"

Maura leaned a bit forward, wanting to kiss Jane, fulfilling a desire she had for a long time.

"But first" Jane said, startling Maura "What are your plans with me and my daughter?"

"Wh... What?" Maura asked, confused.

"Well, you've always said that I should interrogate every man I dated before I would kiss him. I have a responsibility to my daughter now you know" Jane said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Maura slapped Jane's arm "You're right Jane, and I promise you my intentions for you and you're daughter are to love you both for as long as I live"

"Hmm... Good answer... Okay, now you may kiss me" Jane leaned forward.

"Why didn't you ever date a man since Sophia is born?" Maura is curious now.

"Because the only one I wanted was you Maura..."

"But what if I never got to this point of wanting to be in a relationship with you Jane?

"Then I would've become an old cat lady" Jane giggled.

"You're not a cat lady"

"Thanks Maur..."

"You're more like a dog lady"

"Gee... Do you want to kiss or should we end this relationship already?"

Maura giggled and leaned forward. They had their first small kiss and it was like Maura expected it to be, tender, sweet and sparkling at once.

"I love you Maur... God I've waited so long and now finally I can say it" Jane sighed.

"You've said it before Jane, and even though it was in a friendly kind of way I always knew you meant it to be more. I love you too".

And they sealed the love they've wanted for so long with another kiss.