A/N: I do not own Twilight.

Behind Locked Doors

Chapter Three Third Entrance

Dear nobody,

I don't know what day it is. I can never date these notes. Today Alice had her first treatment and she didn't speak for a long time when she came back. I heard her screams, I always hear the screams. Every day here is the same to me. My bandages are long gone; I do not need them anymore. My wounds have healed. I wish I could see what I look like these days but I am not allowed to have a mirror in here. I know why and when Alice asked me I told her the truth. If there was a mirror I would smash myself into it and then I would grab a piece and start cutting myself. I showed her my scars and she looked frightened.

"If you're not insane when you come here you will get insane," I told her.

I am not insane. Not yet. I have a feeling that I will be though. I have seen other patients here – only briefly of course but if you look into their eyes you see it. They look mad. I am sure that there are rooms where the most insane people are kept. They lock us all up; we only get out when we are allowed to shower, which is not very often and when we have visitors. I never get visitors though. I wish they would let us walk outside; I want to feel the sun on my face. I miss the sun. I even miss the rain.

Today they asked me if I still want to hurt myself and I didn't know if I should be honest or not so I said nothing. They told me that I have been here for almost six months now and that if I were to cooperate then I would finally be released. I don't believe them. I know that I am here for life.

It's a new day now. I know this because they told me earlier that it was a Saturday and that I had a visitor. I was shocked when they told me someone was here to see me.

They took me to a little room where there were a wooden table and two chairs sitting across from each other. They pushed me down on one of the chairs. I was never left alone in that room and when my visitor came in through the doors we were never left alone. I am a risk to others after all. I am not to be trusted.

My visitor walked in and sat down on the other side of the table smiling. My fists turned into balls under the table and I gritted my teeth. I immediately decided not to speak.

"Bella," Rosalie smiled at me.

She was wearing a blue dress, his favorite color I remembered that, and her blonde hair were in a knot under her hat. She was wearing laced gloves and her cheeks were rosy from excitement.

"My husband sends his regards," Rosalie said carefully watching my reaction and so did the other two people in the room.

If I were to have an outburst they needed two people to control me. I nodded and Rosalie looked relieved at that.

Her gloved hands were clasped together on the table.

"You look good," she said and I almost hit her pretty little face.

I wanted to hit her. I wanted to maul that face and make it bloody and damaged. I wanted her to be scarred just like I was. I was never ever going to be pretty.

I wanted to spit in her face. Oh what a joy that would be.

"Do they serve any good food here?" Rosalie asked.

I decided to speak.

"What do you think?" I spat. "Yes this is heavenly where the food tastes deliciously and everything is bliss." I rolled my eyes.

Rosalie huffed.

"There is no reason for you to be rude, Bella."

"Oh but there is," I said my eyes boring into hers.

And I could see it in her eyes – I actually frightened her. She was afraid of me. Did I look like those insane people now?

"I am sorry," Rosalie began but I held one of my hands up.

"You are sorry? Of all the things to say you say that you are sorry? You mean that you didn't mean to ruin my life, Rosalie? You didn't hurt me on purpose, right?"

I stood up and instantly strong arms were grabbing me. I was pulled out of the room and they threw me in my room that I shared with Alice.

"What happened?" she asked.

She was sitting cross-legged on her bed. I sat down on my bed pulling my legs up under me eyeing my scars on my arms.

"She said she was sorry," I hissed. "Of all the things she could have told me she says that. You can't apologize for what she did to me. Sorry isn't enough. Oh and she told me that he sends his regards," I said sarcastically.

"Oh," Alice said. "I am sorry it didn't go well. Do you think she will be back?"

I never told Alice the names of the persons I spoke of and she didn't really know everything. I never told her what happened.

"I hope not," I muttered.