June 7, 1995
Dear Sam,
I slept a few hours, I guess until the storm let up, then spent the day cleaning the house.
Well, not CLEANING cleaning. This is a huge house, after all! I'm not some manic maid robot like Rosie from the Jetsons. More like... erasing evidence.
Though when you put it that way..
this is SUCH a bad idea, Sis. Seriously.
But I'm trying to honor your wishes here. I'm scared stiff thinking what might happen to you out there, and I think you're making a huge mistake just VANISHING without any way to contact you (plus that Reed scholarship! Jeez!). But. I can tell you and Lonnie love each other, and it's your mistake to make. Heck, one more year and Mom and Dad couldn't even legally stop you, right?
But you left all these clues... not just the journal, but all these little things, old secret notes and drawings and stories and stuff. Stuff that says a lot about what you and Lonnie might do, where you might go. I found your locker combination, for crying out loud, you think Mom & Dad wouldn't? Or the police?
Who am I kidding... they'll just take a bolt cutter to the lock...
You really didn't think this through, did you?
Of course not, you were... in a hurry.
And in love.
But I'm just saying. DID NOT THINK.
Anyway, for what it's worth I gathered all the clues—all the papers, the pictures of Lonnie, the buttons, the mixtapes, and bundled them up in one of your old backpacks and stashed them in one of the secret panels you and Lonnie (and I) found. I deleted the first couple messages from the answering machine. I'll put these letters away too, for now.
Maybe it'll slow them down, at least. If they notice something missing, they'll probably figure you took it with you.
You see what you've gotten me into, Sam? I went on my adventures, but I was always the "good" sister and now I'm concealing evidence from the authorities. Accomplice to one Army recruit's going AWOL and one really fantastic but REALLY NOT THINKING talented young writer committing... whatever the official crime term is for what you're doing.
...oh god. what if they think she KIDNAPPED you?!
Mom and Dad will be back soon. I've got to figure out what I'm going to say, what my plan is. And, like, practice it.
I love you. I'm doing this because it's my best guess at what you'd want me to do. I hope that counts, I hope you appreciate it.
I miss you.
Please don't die in a ditch somewhere before I see you again.
Your big sis,
Katie