The Doctor was laying next to Jack. He had Jack's arms around him as usual and he was hugging himself. He felt pathetic because of his weakness. He felt empty. His body was shivering from the thought of food. He hadn't eaten any real food in ages. He had drank some tea in the evening, the first cup he had in three days. He was on a strict diet, no sugar, almost nothing to eat and tea two times a week. He was starving himself, but he was a Time Lord. He didn't need to eat as much as humans did in order to function. He couldn't stop thinking about the sweet scent of his favorite dish. He could taste the custard mingling together with the salty fish creating a wonderful and pleasurable sensation. He could hear the crispy coating crunch in his mouth as he imagined himself eating the fish. He would have some Jammie Dodgers and tea with a lot of sugar and cream instead of milk to top it off.
He was panting as he twisted himself in the sweaty covers. Jack had tried to keep him in place in his sleep for a while but it seemed like the sleeping human had given up. He was too heavy of a sleeper to even notice that the Doctor struggled against him.
The Doctor tried to calm down, but now when he had started to think about food, he couldn't stop. The images wouldn't leave his mind. He was even thinking about how great caramelized apple would taste, even if he hated apples. He was gripping the covers with a tight grip as he fought the urge to run to the kitchen and shove everything edible down his throat. He was weak, the hunger was to much for him. He was a disgrace to the Time Lords. He couldn't even make it one month without getting desperate over food. And he had even drank some tea not to long ago. His mind was too weak, too addicted to the wonderful food that was waiting for him in the refrigerator.
He looked at Jack with a look filled of guilt. Jack was perfect. He could eat everything, no one ever commented on how he looked. Not what he had heard anyway. Why couldn't he be perfect for Jack, that was all he wanted right now. He knew Jack was embarrassed of this regeneration's body. He hadn't nagged about how he should visit Torchwood as his guest in sometime, as he used to do with his old body. All the offers of traveling had been turned down. Jack didn't want to be seen with this body. He felt hurt, but he never told Jack. He was always hiding behind his bow tie.
He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't fight it as he ran to the kitchen and ripped the door to the refrigerator open. The cool air hit him, but he was not interested in keeping himself cool. He grabbed the first thing he could get his hand on, which was pork. Raw. He didn't care about it now, it would be a problem later. He ripped the package open and slit the meat from the chop with his teeth. The raw meat tasted nothing like it did when it was prepared, but it didn't matter. He wasn't here to eat a gourmet dinner, he was here to stuff himself until he got sick. The pork didn't help to satisfy him at all. He wanted more. He was stuffing his mouth full of sausage, ham, butter, jam, peanut butter, yogurt, whipped cream, cheese and other random groceries they had in the refrigerator when he understood that he wanted something sweet.
He was fumbling in the cabinet after some Jamie Dodgers. He ate everything he got his hands on until he found the damn biscuits. He took three in his mouth at the same time but was close to spitting it out when he understood that he needed something sweeter, something a lot sweeter. He was searching for some candy as he was emptying the package full of cookies. He didn't find candy, but he found frosting. They should have been using the frosting the next day to decorate gingerbread. Jack had said something about Christmas. He didn't care at the moment, all he wanted was to taste the sweet frosting in his mouth.
He was almost sucking out the white icing from the tube. The sugar was almost melting in his mouth as he ate it. He didn't understand how he could refuse something so wonderful. It was almost like the first time he had eaten fish custard. Even if he was longing for the food, he didn't have the patients to cook the dish right now. He could eat it later when he had calmed himself down. He thought that the frosting would help his cravings but it was only making it worse. He was eating everything they had, even if he thought almost all of it tasted horrible. He couldn't stop eating, he had lost all control over his body.
He was laying on the floor, with a half-eaten lightly-smoked bologna sausage in his hand. He was chewing it slowly as he forced some more in his mouth. Tears were falling down his face. He was surrounded by empty bottles and boxes. The refrigerator and the cabinets were almost empty. He had even a bottle of Jack's alcohol beside him. He felt sick and dirty. He wanted to throw everything up again, but he was still eating. He was beyond stuffed. Everything felt horrible, he was a disappointment. All his hard work was in vain.
He let out a cry of frustration as he slowly realized what he had done. He was sobbing to himself when he understood that he was no longer alone in the room. Jack was watching him with a tired look. He usually never woke up in the night if he did not need the bathroom. He was slowly approaching the broken Time Lord as if he was a scared animal. Jack was gently stroking his cheek as he tried to calm the Time Lord down. He had no idea what had happened, he guessed that the Doctor had a bad dream and searched for comfort in food instead of him. He didn't judge the Time Lord at all. He was just a bit sad that his lover chose food over him. He sighed when he saw the mess.
"Look at the mess you made. But I can't be mad at you when you look so cute. We can clean up tomorrow," Jack said as he lifted up the Doctor who was trying to stop crying, in his arms, when he saw the open package of pork chop. He looked down at the Doctor who looked ashamed.
"Should I be worried and call Martha?" He asked but the Doctor shook his head slowly. He smiled at his lover as he carried him back to the bed.
"Okay, but I don't want to wake up to a sick you or a corpse tomorrow." He said receiving a weak nod from his partner. The Doctor was confused. He didn't understand why Jack wasn't pointing out his failure. He was weaker than humans, but Jack still said nothing. It was almost like he pitied him.